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A Daughter's Promise

Fran Lewis (Goodreads Author)

4.36 · Rating details · 14 ratings · 13 reviews

To the memory of Ruth Swerdloff, whose journey you are about to take.
Many people fall into routines that require them to do the same thing, the same way, everyday. They get up, go to work and perform the same job, read the same types of books—never changing anything. When they are forced to vary from their routines, some people often find it difficult, or virtually impossi ...more

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Paperback, 146 pages

Published 2017 by EditPros LLC

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Aug 11, 2017 Fran added it · (Review from the author)

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Dec 04, 2017 Lois rated it it was amazing

The indomitable spirit of womankind radiates throughout this revealing memoir of the author’s mother, who was partly responsible for the written text, and who proved herself so worthy to be the ultimate source of the material on which A Daughter’s Promise is based. This small volume is a worthy commemoration of a life well lived, and with each word Fran Lewis brings honor to her mother’s name. The deep sense of respect that Lewis has for her mother, Ruth, is shown in the lifelong values that the The indomitable spirit of womankind radiates throughout this revealing memoir of the author’s mother, who was partly responsible for the written text, and who proved herself so worthy to be the ultimate source of the material on which A Daughter’s Promise is based. This small volume is a worthy commemoration of a life well lived, and with each word Fran Lewis brings honor to her mother’s name. The deep sense of respect that Lewis has for her mother, Ruth, is shown in the lifelong values that the latter inspired in her. As she notes, “Perfection: that’s what she always told me. Each piece of writing, each assignment had to be done to the standards set out by my teachers and professors, and then pass the highest test, mom’s.”

Apart from being an intelligently written memoir, A Daughter’s Promise is, above all, testament to how one family copes with the gradually declining mental health of a pivotal figure who has helped make them who they are, with the root cause for the decline being Alzheimer’s—that dreaded scourge which, despite the most miraculous seeming advances in modern medicine, still has the medical experts stumped. Tracing her mother’s disease from its early days to its final progression, at which stage Ruth’s doctors were unable to assist any further in the amelioration of the disease, the empathetic way in which Fran helps her mother to cope with her steady decline in health until she is unable even to control her own bodily functions, reveals the best of intentions in the face of impossible odds.

In A Daughter’s Promise, Fran has put to good use the insights that she gained in struggling to cope with her mother’s deteriorating state of health, and ultimate demise. By sharing her findings with others, she has been able to point the way forward to others who fear being unable to deal with the onset of Alzheimer’s in their own family and friends. For instance, she provides the lowdown on the tests (the biomarker test, brain imaging and cognitive assessment) that are used to detect the presence of the disease and to assess its progression, as well as indicating the signs and symptoms of the illness, in its early, middle and late stages. Lewis also discusses survival guidelines for the embattled caregivers who only too often are expected to neglect their own health and well-being in caring for the Alzheimer’s sufferers—she encourages them to be gentle on themselves, so that they can treat those afflicted with the disease with as much care and concern as they deserve.

A Daughter’s Promise is supplemented with numerous black-and-white photos that form a photo album appended to the main text, showing various members of the family at less stressful periods in life than at the very end. The blend of memoir and self-help book for Alzheimer patient caregivers works as a whole in that Fran’s journey has been a deeply personal one. Her other two books on the subject, Memories are Precious: Alzheimer’s Journey—Ruth’s Story and Sharp as a Tack or Scrambled Eggs: Which Describes Your Brain?, bear additional witness to the fact that Lewis has benefited from her experience in many tangible ways, not least of which is her determination to fight for the best quality of life that her loved ones can possibly have, no matter the stage of their life.
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Aug 18, 2017 Eileen Thornton rated it it was amazing

This is the true story of how a daughter was determined to keep a promise she made to her mother. Ruth, the mother, had always been a strong woman. She had three children and always stressed that whatever they did in life they should do it well. There was to be no half measures. Therefore it must have come as a great shock to her when she found she had Alzheimers.

I have to admit, I didn't know a great deal about this illness until I read this book. Yes, I knew that the person was likely to lose ...more

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Nov 01, 2017 Kathleen rated it it was amazing

A Daughter's Promise is a compelling memoir that follows author Fran Lewis' mother Ruth Swerdloff's journey after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and the affect that the disease had on Ruth, Fran, and their family.

Ruth and Fran take the reader on an emotional journey as they recount Ruth's difficult battle as the progression of the disease overtakes her life, and the tragic affect that it had on Fran as her primary caregiver.

As a retired nursing home administrator, I couldn't help but ...more

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Nov 04, 2017 Joan rated it liked it

Lewis has given us a very raw and honest account of caring for her mother through an Alzheimer's journey. There were intense feelings when her mother was mistreated or ignored. There was distress when family members did not share in the commitment of care but rather went on vacations. At one point Lewis laments, “I have been nowhere for the last seven years...” and admits to getting “quite upset” with relatives and their lack of help. (Loc 626/1314)

Lewis adds writings from her mother's journal ...more

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Nov 05, 2017 Cheryl rated it really liked it

Fran really does portray a good image of what it is like for a family member to have to deal with a loved one with Alzheimer's. I liked that this book was told from Fran's mother's own thoughts. It brought me the reading audience closer to Ruth and Fran. Which in turn kept me engaged in the book. Plus, it was not like I was just reading a book about someone who had Alzheimer's but it was like I was reading about a family member who was experiencing Alzheimer's.

Another thing that is important to ...more

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Aug 12, 2017 Ann rated it it was amazing

A wonderful book by Fran Lewis. This is a very personal, emotional, heart breaking but also heartwarming tribute not only to a courageous lady but also her daughter.

Fran remembers how her mother Ruth reacted and subsequently coped from when she first realised she had Alzheimer's. Fran also recalls how she herself struggled at times to keep her promise to her mother.

This amazing story is even more special in the way it is told from two perspectives, Fran's and also Ruth's. The courage, stre ...more

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Nov 20, 2017 Martha Cheves rated it it was amazing

A Daughter's Promise - Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of: Stir, Laugh, Repeat; Think With Your Taste Buds; and A Book and A Dish

"Six years ago I was able to drive a car and go shopping by myself. I was even able to eat in a restaurant and have lunch with my children and my sister. I took my own medications, I ran the journal for my organization. I even went around to collect money for ads to promote different businesses in my neighborhood. I had o trouble remembering where I was going and wh A Daughter's Promise - Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of: Stir, Laugh, Repeat; Think With Your Taste Buds; and A Book and A Dish

"Six years ago I was able to drive a car and go shopping by myself. I was even able to eat in a restaurant and have lunch with my children and my sister. I took my own medications, I ran the journal for my organization. I even went around to collect money for ads to promote different businesses in my neighborhood. I had o trouble remembering where I was going and when I was supposed to get there."

"Then all of a sudden I began noticing little things. I could not remember where I put my glasses or my car keys. I could not remember why I walked into a room, or what I was looking for. I began overdosing my meds because I did not recall taking them. If that was not bad enough, I could not remember what I had eaten for breakfast, or that I was even hungry. I forgot to get my blood tested each month, thinking I'd had them done the month before. I never remembered calling the doctor for the results, because I did not recall taking them. Worst of all was my ability to drive a car, because my independence was about to come to an abrupt halt. Everything about my life was about to change, and there was nothing that I could do to control or stop it."

You have just been introduced to Ruthie and thousands of others like her. She as well as all of the others have Alzheimer's disease.

As I read this book I found myself comparing some of the signs to my own life. Many times I've gotten up to go into another room to get or do something and as soon as I walked through the doorway I find that I have totally forgotten why I even got up. I find myself forgetting names of people I've know forever, people I used to work with, the names of streets I've been down many times and the names of movies I watched the night before. These 'signs' do worry me but I feel that in my case this 'forgetting' is due to being so active. I justify this by the fact that I can remember so much from the past. My childhood friends - names, parent's names, streets, and all. I can remember movies that I saw years ago and which theater I went to and who I went with. I tell myself that way back then was a much slower time for me whereas now I stay busy and forget things. At least that's what I hope is causing my memory losses.

In A Daughter's Promise, Author Fran Lewis breaks down the beginning as well as the end of this terrible disease. And she knows everything 'first-hand' because she became the caregiver of Ruthie who was her mother. She fills you in on what to expect, not only as the patient but also as the caregiver. She helps you understand what the patient is going through both physically as well as mentally. And she also helps you understand what the caretaker goes through both physically as well as mentally.

Whether you know a person with Alzheimer's disease or not, this is a book that needs to be read by everyone! You may one day find yourself being the caregiver or even the patient and this book will help you know whats in store for you.

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Nov 16, 2017 Lynda Dickson rated it liked it

Recommends it for: Families dealing with Alzheimer's

Shelves: nonfiction

Fran tells the story of her time as a carer for her mother Ruth, who was battling Alzheimer's. When Fran first found out about Ruth's diagnosis, she honored her mother's wish and promised not to confine her to a nursing home. This was Ruth's greatest fear: "if it were up to the staff of the hospital I would have been placed in a nursing home and left to be forgotten with the rest of the people who have this terrifying, humiliating, and awful disease."

This book is a love letter from a daughter t Fran tells the story of her time as a carer for her mother Ruth, who was battling Alzheimer's. When Fran first found out about Ruth's diagnosis, she honored her mother's wish and promised not to confine her to a nursing home. This was Ruth's greatest fear: "if it were up to the staff of the hospital I would have been placed in a nursing home and left to be forgotten with the rest of the people who have this terrifying, humiliating, and awful disease."

This book is a love letter from a daughter to her mother. Fran states: "I hope that this book and what I have written will help anyone that has a parent, grandparent, child, aunt, or uncle hit by this dreadful disease to understand it from the viewpoint of the caregivers and the person that will never be the same." Fran describes the signs and symptoms of Alzheimer's in general and details the memory loss, deteriorating health, and changes in behavior in her mother, in particular. Fran concludes the book with tips for caregivers to look after themselves, tips on caring for their loved one, and a list of online resources. While Fran kept her promise to her mother and never regretted her decision, she does admit that looking after an Alzheimer's patient may not be the right decision for everyone and that not all nursing homes are as bad as the ones she experienced.

Fran's account is interspersed with the words of Ruth herself, written at various stages of the disease. Fran tells us: "I created this book from the years of personal journals that my mother kept from the moment she realized something was wrong." Ruth's account is heartbreaking in places: her loneliness at being ignored by neighbors she has known for over forty years and, especially, when she realizes her daughter Marcia has died. Ruth's contributions give us a great insight into the thoughts and feelings of the Alzheimer's sufferer.

Only a few events are actually detailed in the book, and these are repeated a number of times, albeit from a slightly different perspective each time. This may be a deliberate technique by the author to mimic the tendency of a person with Alzheimer's to repeat the same story over and over again. We are left with a touching insight into how this disease affects two strong women. I love the addition of the photo album of family snaps at the end of the book.

I received this book in return for an honest review.

Full blog post (17 November): https://booksdirectonline.blogspot.co... ...more

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Oct 27, 2017 CCAM&GZM rated it liked it

The book is written both from point of view of Ruth and Fran using Ruth’s records and Fran memories. One chapter is even written "by" Miracle (you’ll see).

But what is important is that the keyword related to this book is emotion.

The feelings of sadness and of helplessness are both acute and tell us that we are not our masters after all. What individualizes us, the soul and our rationality, crumbles under the fragility of substance. Or maybe not… because Ruth fought to be herself with everything The book is written both from point of view of Ruth and Fran using Ruth’s records and Fran memories. One chapter is even written "by" Miracle (you’ll see).

But what is important is that the keyword related to this book is emotion.

The feelings of sadness and of helplessness are both acute and tell us that we are not our masters after all. What individualizes us, the soul and our rationality, crumbles under the fragility of substance. Or maybe not… because Ruth fought to be herself with everything she got still and used every last crumb of her lucidity. Actually, her “writing” is what I liked. Her fight, her torment and even the last of her hope are all present and mark the reader. The promise (of a daughter) doesn’t impress me much because, from where I come, we are still close to our family and still, very rare, we send our parents to a retiring / nursing home; therefore, for me, the promise to take care of my parents is not a promise, but the normal course of things.

The style of writing seemed to me to be one that goes from clear to somehow chaotic. Information and events start to repeat themselves, but in Ruth’s parts, I interpreted them as “normal” because they paint the canvas of her reality. She is pained not only by the illness but also by those who preferred to “forget” her even before her demise.

It was also interesting to see how differently Ruth and Fran perceived the same event. This is a good reminder for all who have next to them persons who cannot understand or express themselves properly.

Maybe I would not have liked Ruth entirely before her illness, but certainly, I felt her pain and desperation to remain whole. And certainly, I felt Fran’s pain and I appreciated her effort during her mother's tribulations.

A Daughter Promise is a book for everybody and a good book for those who are tried by fate; all of us could even find some advice regarding the illness based on authors' own experience.

Read and feel!

https://mythicalbooks.blogspot.ro/201...
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Oct 19, 2017 Wall-to-wall books - wendy rated it it was amazing

A very touching and endearing tribute to this author's mother who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. If you have never known anyone who had to go through this themselves or with a friend or family member, it is a terrible disease, probably the hardest one to have to go through. I liked that the author added both her thoughts and her mother's. It was truly hard and frustrating for both of them.

My daughter was Asst. Activities Directer for an Alzheimer’s and Dementia facility. She would come home ...more

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Sep 14, 2017 Cindy McDonald rated it it was amazing

True confession: This was a difficult book for me to read. It was a difficult book for me to put down--you see, my mother also suffers from this dreaded disease. She is in the final stages. Fran Lewis details the progression of the disease as it affected her mom and of course Fran herself. As I read through the book, I could identify with each stage, each moment, each tear. This is a book that needed to be written and the strength it took Ms. Lewis to write it is amazing. Thank you for your cand ...more

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Sep 05, 2017 Cheryl rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2017-read

A poignant, heartbreaking, and at times emotionally raw, memoir of the devastating disease of Alzheimer’s affecting both the patient and family that love her.

This book touched me to the core in more ways than one, in the different roles of my life. A daughter, having been the sole caretaker of my own mother several years ago and as a retired nurse, caring for patients afflicted by the disease.

A once vibrant, independent and active woman, Ruth Swerdloff, starts to realize that she is starting to ...more

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Jun 16, 2019

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Nov 20, 2019

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About Fran Lewis

Fran Lewis

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Biography: Fran Lewis

Born in the South Bronx, I grew up with people from many ethnic backgrounds. I learned to play and work with children in my school that came from other countries and different places.
I was always over weight as a child and got picked on a lot by the other children in my class and even my teachers. I found it hard to do many of the sporting activities that my sister and cousi ...more