I just remembered... I started this book back when I was a Christian... I am never going to finish this now.
I remember liking it at the time, and thinking "Yes, God is the key to peace and happiness". I remember feeling validated, because everything she believes is what I used to believe. And honestly, if you need a Christian person to inspire you, I do think she is one of the better examples. Maybe not her ENTIRE family, which is rooted in deep misogyny and toxic masculinity, but Sadie is pretty okay.
Now, I see the way I used to think as being a bad coping mechanism. Laying all of my problems in gods hands, not fully processing things because "it just wasn't Gods plan". These are avoidant, fixed mindset, coping mechanisms. These are the types of techniques religion and this book teach. Yes, of course you're going to feel happier and more at peace when you aren't taking full accountability for your life. When you "lay your life in Gods hands", life is a lot "easier", but it isn't real.
Let me give you some examples of things I would disassociate from, and avoid analyzing:
- If I failed to get a job, instead of looking into what I might be lacking or where I went wrong, I would say "it wasn't gods plan".
- If a romantic relationship failed, instead of looking at how I could be a better partner, I'd think to myself 'he just wasn't the one god intended for me'.
- If my friendships failed, instead of analyzing how I could be a better friend, I would say "they were not the friends for me because they would only lead me to stary from god".
- If someone died, I was at peace knowing they had "moved on to a better place"
I will never forget my friend crying over her break up, and me consoling her saying "he just wasn't the one god intended for you" and her screaming at me that she didn't even believe in god. At the time, I felt sorry for her. I thought, 'she would be so much happier if she believed'. Yes, of course she would, but she also wouldn't fully process and grieve the way we are meant to.
That is the kind of "peace" this book teaches you to have.