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The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate

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4.17  ·  Rating details ·  921 ratings  ·  236 reviews
A candid guide for ambitious women who want to succeed without losing themselves in the process

In The Myth of The Nice Girl, Fran Hauser deconstructs the negative perception of "niceness" that many women struggle with in the business world. If women are nice, they are seen as weak and ineffective, but if they are tough, they are labeled a bitch.

Hauser proves that women don
...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published April 17th 2018 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
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4.17  · 
Rating details
 ·  921 ratings  ·  236 reviews


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kartik narayanan
Jul 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Read the full review at our blog


This book came up in my goodreads feed and the subtitle 'achieving the career you love without becoming the person you hate' really drew me into the book.

The author Franc Hauser had started her career at a huge accounting firm, then moved to media and is now a mentor and start-up investor. She felt the need for this book based on her own experiences in the real world on how to be nice and successful at work. It is not easy but comes with conscious practice. After
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Lori Tatar
Mar 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I absolutely loved this book! It felt like I had a mentor speaking to me and guiding me to behaviors that would strengthen me. I have felt for a long time that I do not have issues holding my own in conversations or presenting and discussing information.

As I read The Myth of the Nice Girl, a couple things came to mind, first that I am very fortunate to work for a mega-company that has built its brand on diversity and spends quite a bit of time and capital recruiting minorities, including women.
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Suzanne
Jul 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
"Just so we are clear, don't mistake my kindness for stupidity." - Kat Cole

I must admit that when I started reading The Myth of the Nice Girl, I wasn't sure that I was going to get much out of it. It initially felt a bit lightweight and fluffy. But the more I read, the more I started taking notes, and the more inspiring/helpful I found it.

Fran Hauser shares challenging moments and lessons from her own stellar career as well as anecdotes from her friends and people she's worked with to help you
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Danielle
Dec 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I could not put this book down! The Myth of the Nice Girl is a practical guide on how to succeed with kindness, integrity, and authenticity. Fran Hauser gives her readers permission to show up as themselves in the workplace—nice AND ambitious. She provides personal examples of how being nice and genuinely connected with others leads to professional advancement and perhaps more importantly, fulfillment. But, do not mistake kindness for weakness! Fran is a savvy and successful business woman who k ...more
Andy
Dec 23, 2018 rated it really liked it
I got this because I mentor young women. There are some sections specific to women and sexism, but much of the book could apply to “nice people” in general. I expect numerous tips will be useful.
Kathleen
Dec 06, 2017 rated it it was amazing
As a former colleague of Fran's, I have witnessed first-hand her unique ability to be a nice, compassionate, analytical, ambitious, and successful executive. This book shows it can be done and gives you the tools you need to get there. I was fortunate to read an advance copy of the book and every single chapter resonated with me. As someone who has been told at work that I need to "push people harder" and "not be so nice," this proves that that line of thinking is not only antiquated but inauthe ...more
Danielle Corcione
Dec 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I could not put this book down! The Myth of the Nice Girl is a practical guide on how to succeed with kindness, integrity, and authenticity. Fran Hauser gives her readers permission to show up as themselves in the workplace—nice AND ambitious. She provides personal examples of how being nice and genuinely connected with others leads to professional advancement and perhaps more importantly, fulfillment. But, do not mistake kindness for weakness! Fran is a savvy and successful business woman who k ...more
Kristi Connell
Jul 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
An enjoyable read, but one that seemed more suited to younger women in their career journey. I did find the Four Square Model to be a helpful tool for identifying and focusing on my personal priorities, and I’m excited about implementing that concept in my own life. I wish I’d had been able to read a book like this fifteen years ago!
Carla
Aug 13, 2018 rated it liked it
Mixed feelings about this book. Some advice was the same as many books like this that didn’t feel new or exciting, some was good advise (the last few chapters like mentoring) was good but some advise is tough to scale down to the smaller organizer people like me and many of my friends work for. I know she has a great resume and experience but I got sick of hearing about these big unrelated companies she’s worked at.
Jamie Lee
Mar 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Although I have yet to enter the “real world”, I find that the ideas about “niceness” in The Myth of the Nice Girl have resonated with me and are extremely applicable to high school and university life. I have felt stuck in what Fran describes as the “Double Bind Between Nice and Strong". However, reading The Myth of the Nice Girl has made me realize that being nice is actually an advantage-- niceness and strength can (and should) coexist. Fran's words have taught me that I do not have to sacrif ...more
Jessie
Nov 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I absolutely LOVE this book. Women do not have to be a bi*** to be in charge and Fran shares stories about herself, her mentors and her colleagues to show how this can be done. She also includes stats about the wage gap and this one about men vs. women applying for jobs: Men often apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications. Women need to ask themselves if they're 60% qualified.

Some of the pieces of advice she shared that really resonated are:
1. Pay attention to the way you ta
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Jennie
Nov 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I was lucky to get an Advanced Readers Copy of The Myth of the Nice Girl. I cannot wait until it comes out - I will be buying copies for my college-aged daughter and the young women I mentor at work. The Myth of the Nice Girl is a down-to-earth guide to professional success that foregoes gimmicks and offers real world tactics anyone can use to achieve their goals while remaining true to themselves. Fran Hauser teaches us that being nice and being powerful are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the ...more
Patricia
Nov 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
So excited about this amazing book! My dear friend and former colleague, Fran Hauser, one of the kindest and most compassionate leaders I've ever known, shares her brand of wisdom and inspiration plus practical tools for doing work that is aligned with who we are and how we want to live. It’s chock full of insights and real advice for those of us who want to feel successful from the inside out. The Myth of the Nice Girl banishes the stereotypes about ‘nice’ girls with a mix of experiences and st ...more
Natalia Quintero
Jan 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
LOVED reading this book. It explains why being ambitious / successful is not at odds with being nice and offers a credible and practical framework to develop an authentic voice / professional persona.

Fran shares engaging case studies and anecdotes that showcase how executives have been able to straddle being successful and nice. It's inspiring to read and exciting to have tools to put into practice.

Can't wait to share this book with friends and colleagues to spread the message that authenticity
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Heidi Svendsen
May 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I was expecting a book to teach me to become tougher and how to use my niceness to achieve this. This is what I been reading too many other places that you cannot become successful and be nice at the same time.

This book showed me how to use my niceness as an factor in my work, and how to make it my "weapon". I am greatfull to read a book about how to be nice and still succeed in business. Niceness is one of my traits that I like the most, but are the most
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Rebecca
May 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This might be the most illuminating, affirming, and helpful book I read all year. And I'm reading a lot of good books so that's saying something.

I picked this up from the library and now have a copy in my Amazon shopping cart. I have a feeling I'll need Hauser's words as a reference in future days.
Janet Comenos
Feb 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is fantastic and is a must read for any female executive or employee. There are so many valuable lessons in here that are going to help me as a female CEO, lessons that will help my young managers, and even our most junior employees. There were 30+ actionable suggestions in this book that I am starting to incorporate into my company's work today, and I just finished the book yesterday!
Kristina Libby
Jan 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Fran Hauser has worked everywhere and has the tips and recommendations people need to really make the most of their careers. Filled with solid frank advice, it is the guide for getting what you want regardless of where you are in your career. In my opinion, it’s a must read for every female or male who wants to achieve their career dreams.
Lillian
Mar 07, 2018 rated it liked it
Let us take a minute to appreciate the cover of this book.

I have picked up and read many leadership/self-help books in my short millennial life mainly because of the buzz around an author's great accomplishments. In addition, I am not one to judge a book by its cover but I have to admit this was sourced from Netgalley purely because of the cover. I had never heard of Fran Hauser in my neck of the internet woods until I got through this book.You can see her accomplishments on her website.

In The M
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Meredith
Sep 06, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, re-read
I both loved and slightly dis-liked this book.
Loved:
- Great advice on... setting boundaries so you're aren't exploited or overlooked at work... working on networking... how to speak up without sounding b**chy... how to find balance between wanting to help without becoming a people pleaser (and therefore overlooked/exploited again)...
- Each chapter addresses a different aspect of professional lives; not just 'at work'. Which I really liked.
- She also discusses that 'having it all' is different f
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Amanda Coopersmith
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I finished this book feeling uplifted, recharged, and hopeful about my career.

Fran formats the book beautifully to make each chapter digestible and engaging. Each chapter opens with statements from different women that help reveal the mixed messages and beliefs "nice" girls navigate in their careers. Fran then shares anecdotes about her own career, friends' careers, and situations her mentees have experienced that have given her insight into how to successfully navigate these double standards.
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Melissa
I read this book for a "Women in Leadership" group at work. The title was intriguing and there are a few good suggestions, but partway through I was over the name dropping.

"A candid guide for ambitious women who want to succeed without losing themselves in the process.
In The Myth of The Nice Girl, Fran Hauser deconstructs the negative perception of "niceness" that many women struggle with in the business world. If women are nice, they are seen as weak and ineffective, but if they are tough, they
...more
Joanne Chen
Apr 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing
The Myth of the Nice Girl is the most relatable and helpful business book I've read. I am studying business and being a perfectionist it was hard for myself to accept being rejected by my professor's standard. By following this book I was able to develop self-awareness by accepting constructive criticism through asking kindly for direct feedbacks. It has been helpful this semester when I set limits and boundaries to being an effective team player where we both used our "superpowers" to successfu ...more
Brittany Bernardi
Oct 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Really amazing in its practical advice about navigating the work place and networking. I feel like while reading it I keep having moments of sitting it down to shoot of an email to someone I've wanted to reconnect with. It's helped me out of what had felt like something of a rut at work. I really can't recommend it enough to others who might be early on in their careers and not knowing how to really make a next step without feeling like they're taking up too much space by asking for more.
Jessie
3.5 stars
Very useful tips and examples. Fran also perfectly described the dilemmas a nice girl could be met with at work. I really loved her devotions into mentoring young women without connections and gave us concrete ways to use if we need the help. The only reason why I have it a 3.5 was that I feel that my life hasn’t yet reached the point where it can perfectly resonate with these tips. But if I come back to this a year or two, I’m sure this will be helpful in a impactful way.
Gabriella Tucci
Apr 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is fantastic! It really hit home for me. From the perspective of being a nice girl and leader in my profession, I was able to personally relate to Fran throughout her journey in her career. She really expressed the importance of being honest, strong, thorough, confident, and an excellent communicator in a ever changing workplace. The advice and recommendations I will use and carry with me throughout my career in nursing as a nurse practitioner. She encouraged me to keep being kind and ...more
Felicity
Jan 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A small book that packs a punch. Initially I found it hard to relate to what Fran was saying, but as I read on, I found so many useful tips and ideas for dealing with challenging situations in a home and work environment. A must read for every ‘nice girl’ or anyone who has been told they’re ‘too nice’
Ana-Nicole Paz
Apr 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Fran, this book changed my life. What else can I say? Truly eye-opening. As a college girl, I can't tell you enough how comforting it is to hear your words. I've always been afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it in this world if I wasn't a "b****." But after reading your book, I know that I don't have to sacrifice my own morals and values in order to please other people in the real world. Thank you for this amazing read, I'll definitely be recommending it to my friends and all the young wome ...more
Mehrsa
Apr 06, 2019 rated it liked it
This is just a bland career advice book whose central message is: don't be a jerk, but don't be a pushover. It's an important message (sadly), but I think it mostly applies to people (I mean, women) starting out in their careers.
Amanda
Dec 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This audiobook was something that I could not stop listening to! It was a very insightful look into scenarios that are common for women in the workplace and how to address common themes. I found myself nodding and laughing to several anecdotes. Excellent book!
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