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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

4.25  ·  Rating details ·  16,748 Ratings  ·  1,791 Reviews
Get your kids' cooperation...without arguing. Morning hassles and bedtime battles disappear when you apply the communication techniques these experts have been teaching parents nationwide. Even if you've felt you had no other alternative than to lecture or criticize, you'll be able to reduce the wear and tear on yourself and your family with this practical program. Adele F ...more
Paperback, 242 pages
Published January 1st 1982 by Back Bay Books (first published 1980)
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Ashley Burton how to talk so kids will listen

Keep it simple, young kids have trouble following too many directions given at once.…more
how to talk so kids will listen

Keep it simple, young kids have trouble following too many directions given at once.(less)
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Katie
Feb 27, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Should be subtitled, "Baby Boomer Parents Backlash Against Harsh Old-School Discipline." If you weren't the kind of parent to call your kids names or whup them one on the rear end in the first place, this book has little to offer you but either validation or frustration. I was looking for a book that would help me communicate better with my very stubborn 2.5 year old, and while the cartoons in this book were pretty entertaining, they didn't do much more but revisit the obvious. Don't live throug ...more
Ashley Burton
How to talk so kids will listen review

Had good info and tips, but not 100% realistic regarding how quickly things would improve. After reading this I'm not sure I would recommend it.

Better you check out ✨ Talking to Toddlers program by Chris Thompson to helps you to approach the most effective methods to deal with your kid's behavior. It consists of the easy methods and tricks to involve your kids in listening and doing as you ask. You also can learn what the most common language mistakes parents make which can cause your kids t
...more
Janet
Mar 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: children
A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.

It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.

For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed
...more
Hannah Hillam
Not bad
Vanessa
Apr 19, 2008 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
There is good advice in here if you don't already employ many of the suggestions herein. Since I already do, I didn't find it any sort of revelation. I read it in the hopes of finding a way to make my 4-year-old listen to me on the subject of "DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD, PARTICULARLY IN A CROWDED PLACE - IT IS NOT A GAME", but was disappointed to find no help on that front. I'm afraid "Sweetie, please don't run away - it makes us worried" and "How do YOU think we can help you to stop runnin ...more
Togo Jalika
Sep 08, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Nice book
Brian
May 27, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.
Franky Hernandez
Sep 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Worth to read, it's helpul
Alexis
Mar 25, 2009 is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book about 5 years ago. At that time the boys were 3 and 1. I appreciated the book then, but absolutely adore this book today. This book was first published in 1982, but when it comes to parenting I think that the really good advice is timeless. In re-reading "How to talk..." I am discovering that many of the times when I am most effective/happy with myslelf as a mom I am using the principals that I read in Faber and Mazlish's wonderful work. The book is an extraordinarily valuable t ...more
imane
Jan 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
الكتاب رائع رائع رائع. عادة لا اثق بهذا النوع من الكتب لكن طبقته على اولاد خالتي وصدمت. الطفل يحتاج لمن يسمعه ويحتاج للتعبير عن مشاعره سواء عبر الكلام او الرسم .... الطفل لا يفهم المحاضرات الطويلة العريضة التي يلقيها الكبار جملة قصيرة وكلمات تقال بطريقة حازمة كافية لجعله يفهم. وانت تربي طفلك احرص على عدم تدمير شخصيته بالاهانات والعقاب بالضرب امنحه حرية التعبير والاختيار والمساعدة في حل مشاكله هذا يتطلب الكثير من الصبر والممارسة لكن الا يستحق طفلك ذلك . ونصائح اخرى ستساعد من جهة الاباء على التقلي ...more
Dave
Dec 06, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
VERY applicable whether you're dealing with a 3-year-old, your spouse, your boss, or your 80-year-old neighbor. This is one of my most recommended books to families doing therapy.

I actually currently use parts of this in group therapy sessions to teach adolescents in a therapeutic boarding school how to handle family conflicts. And we do role-plays based on its comic-strip-style illustrations and draw application to their every-day lives. It's so successful, they want me to tell their therapists
...more
Fotooh Jarkas
It's more effective than a medical prescription!!
Very simple cards of instructins make you feel better about yourself and your child
It gave me the feeling that everyone can be perfect parent , but we have to keep it in mind :)
HAPPY READING
Colleen
May 03, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read this. Reading it again. And again. And again.

A powerful tool. Recommended by my pediatrician to help us communicate more effectively with our ADHD twin boys. But this is a great resource for all children and their parents.

Quick and easy to read. Not too dry or preachy. Timeless advice.

Other reviews have suggested this book is for "REALLY bad" parents who don't have "a clue" how to speak to their children. Or that this book will teach you "emotionless parenting" and fails to address how and
...more
غيداء
حينما تقرأ خاتمة هذا الكتاب ستعرف بأنه "باكورة" مشروع لن ينتهي، ومشاريع تمت فعلا. كتاب واقعي بمعايير عالية جدا بسيط في أسلوبه صريح وقوي في مواجهته لعيوب التربية مميز في وضعه لتمارين داخله يمكن تنفيذها بكل سهولة. دليل عملي لابد من الرجوع إليه عدة مرات. يواجه الأهل بضعفهم و يرشدهم لطريقة تدارك الخطأ. هذا الكتاب لابد أن يُدَرّس ويُحَوّل لدورات تدريبية مستقلة ومتعددة.
Nathalie
Nov 04, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2012, woman
Don't believe people reading on their Kindle in the métro are only 50-Shades types, they may simply hide that they are reading self-help or parenting books. I was actually quite ashamed of reading this one, which I got as a Daily Deal on Amazon. It turned out to have extremely ugly cartoons, commonsense principles ("it may not be that good an idea to hit your child") and relatively good advice. As the title suggests it's all about unprejudiced communication between parents and children. You may ...more
Brian S
A bit of a mixed bag. It has some useful insights and ideas that I want to try out, but also is heavily in the lets collaborate with our kids to see if we can come to a mutually agreeable solution camp, which I have yet to buy into.

I tried some of the techniques in the book in the following scenario: My 9 year old daughter often leaves the sink a mess after brushing her teeth. I would normally just tell her, "go clean out the sink" and she would, possibly accompanied by a roll of the eyes or at
...more
Om Mohammed
Jun 12, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
من أجمل الكتب التربوية الي قرأتها و اثر في تفكيري تاثير كبير
كتاب سلس ..سهل،.ممتع في قراءته
كله تجارب و أمثلة واقعية من مواقف الاباء مع أبنائهم وتطبيقهم للمهارات الموجودة في الكتاب و نتائجها
فيه تمرينات على كل فصل للاباء على استخدام المهارات
و مدعم بصور توضيحية لأمثلة للمواقف بين الاباء و أطفالهم و ما هو التصرف الصحيح و الخاطيء في كل موقف
استمتعت و استفدت جدا بقراءة الكتاب
انصح به بشده لكل من يتعامل مع الأطفال
أحمد حسان
Feb 03, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: to-buy
كتاب رائع ,وهو كما يقول العنوان ,كيف تتحدث الى الصغار ,يخبرك الكتاب كيف تحترم مشاعر الصغير وكيف تتعامل مع الطفل العنيد او البليد ,يخبرك كيف تحسن من كلماتك ومفرداتك لينصت اليك الصغير وكي لاتكون انت سببا في سوء اخلاق صغيرك ,قرأته بداية لاعرف كيف اتعامل مع اختى الصغيرة وان كنت ساستخدمه فى التعامل مع اطفالى وباختصار فأن القيم التى يعلمها الكتاب هى كيف تضع نفسك مكان طفلك وكيف تسمع ما تتفوه به اليه من وجهة نظر طفلك ,فمثلا هناك اشياء اذا قلتها للصغير مثل انت عنيد او انت بليد فقد توججه ليؤمن ويعتقد تمام ...more
Sonya Feher
Philosophically I agree with the discipline practices this book explains, but the examples with parents smacking their kids or labeling them with words like "greedy" felt so extreme that it was sometimes hard to read through it to get to what the authors advocated one should do. I did appreciate the tips pages on helping children deal with their feelings, engaging a child's cooperation, alternatives to punishment, and alternative to "no". The chapter on praise is one of the best explanations I'v ...more
Akbar Madan
Feb 20, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
من الكتب المفيدة جدا في فهم الأولاد بالطريقة الصحيحة التي تتفهم مشاعرهم عندما يتصرفون بطريقة لا تعجبنا ، تدرك من خلال هذا الكتاب ابعاد في شخصية اولادك لم تكن تلتفت لها سوف تراجع كل ردات فعلك السابقة وتحاول بناء ردات فعل مناسبة لتحقيق تربية أكثر عمقاً لأحاسيسهم وقدراتهم وتمنياتهم .
Rasha Kurdi
Aug 22, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
يمتاز هذا الكتاب بأسلوب رائع موجز ورسوم كاريكاتورية لطيفة توصل المعلومة بطريقة مبتكرة ولا شك أن في الكتب المترجمة ما فيها من مخالفات تفرضها مجتمعات الغرب الغارقة في وهم الحرية .. لكن الكتاب يقدم أسلوبا ممتازا لاحتواء الطفل والتعامل مع مشكلاته بمهارة.
من أروع الكتب التربوية المترجمة ..
Emily
Jun 08, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
At some point of desperation I put several books on parenting on hold at my library. Due to varying degrees of popularity they've trickled in one by one and I've been reading a parenting book about every 3 to 4 weeks. I was a little tired of it by the time I got to this one, but because it took me so long to get it on hold I thought I'd go for it.

This long story was to say-I loved it!

It was positive, upbeat and very helpful. I can't identify with the extremes they use in this book but I still c
...more
Gary
May 26, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Useful Material

The techniques of mindful listening, thinking, and speaking that are discussed in this text seem really useful in the everyday world.
Doc Opp
Dec 26, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was given this book as a gift and I don't have kids. So, I'm probably not the intended audience. That said, the writing was easy to read and get through, and the advice seemed generally sound. If I ever have kids some day, the lessons I learned might be very useful. Hard to know, since I don't have a lot of experience with children.

The advice in the book was derived from counseling sessions helping parents with children who were having serious behavioral problems. While the authors argue that
...more
Siv30
Oct 31, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
פייבר אדל ומייזליש אליין – "איך לדבר כך שהילדים יקשיבו ולהקשיב כך שהילדים ידברו"
הוצאת לייף סנטר, 237 עמ'

את הספר קיבלתי מתנה מחברה שביקרה אצלי בשבוע שלאחר לידת בני השני. היא המליצה לי בחום, ישר להתחיל ולקרוא, כי הספר מעולה ! הרמתי גבה, והמהמתי משהו בלתי מחייב (אתם כבר יודעים שיש לי רשימות קריאה אינסופיות, לא חסרים לי ספרי עשה זאת בעצמך).
אבל התחלתי לקרוא, האמת הייתי סקפטית ; חשבתי לעצמי, הנה עוד ספר אינסטנט לשיטת עשה זאת בעצמך, מה הן כבר יכולות לחדש לי.
בתמצות, הספר מתיימר ללמד בשישה פרקים, טכניקות
...more
Marcie
Apr 24, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I haven't even finished this book but I had to return it to the library (BOO) so I'm going to buy it. Becuase it's THAT good.
After reading the first two chapters I'm already hugely more aware of how I talk and listen to my children. Using the techniques in this book I have stopped tantrums before they could begin and have seen conversations with my kids miraculously changed.
I'm not even kidding.
I would recommend this book to anyone. We've even seen the principles work great with our three year
...more
Clare Cannon
Aug 27, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book offers great, common sense advice. It focuses on communication between parents and children, something that is so essential to your relationship. The whole book is great, but I particularly like the cartoons which show you two alternative approaches to a conversation, one where parent and child are talking at each other and end up at odds, and the other where they are listening and responding and end up on the same side. Check out the 'turtle' cartoon - it's priceless.

I also loved its
...more
John Maxim
Nov 29, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
One day your kid turns 5 and you think to yourself, "What on earth am I doing, I should probably have some sort of plan, because this little guy is kind of an A-hole?"

This is my first book on parenting and I found it illuminating. My kids are actually people who deserve to be communicated with respectfully??? How novel! This isn't a cure-all solution, but just the many examples shared and the constant reminders this book gives that I'm not the only parent screaming all the time were helpful. Whe
...more
Bloodorange
I read until about 50% mark. I flatly refuse to write notes from discarded toys and towels, find "I-speak" problematic (IMO, this may teach kids, later teens, to prioritize their emotions, instead of what and why should be done - sorry, I teach/ used to teach high school/ uni students), and shudder at the thought of using therapy-speak to children (it might be effective, but a) I have a moral problem with it, and b) no one will ever talk like that to them for free when they're adults).

On the wh
...more
Shauna
Jun 11, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any parent
Recommended to Shauna by: A child psychologist
I love this book! It was recommended to a room of teachers by a child psychologist who said that she recommends this book to any parent who walks through her door. I can see why. It is easy to read and understand. It uses common sense practices -but better help one to see them.

Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that respects th
...more
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.
“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.” 39 likes
“When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.” 12 likes
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