Unspoken: What Men Won't Talk About and Why

by Johnny Hunt

When the Voice of Shame Is All You Hear... It's no Talking about personal issues is awkward and risky. But day by day, those unspoken struggles wrench you down into isolation and distract your thoughts. You know the dangers of going it alone. You've seen other men crumble beneath the weight of hidden pain. You've felt the sting of failure as you've taken missteps and descended quietly into guilt. Perhaps you find yourself in the midst of an internal battle right now. With sensitivity and clarity, Johnny Hunt addresses some of the issues men find most difficult to talk pornography, substance abuse, anger, depression, unforgiveness, and more. Unspoken will give you the courage to overcome your stumbling blocks and step into a new life, free from the bondage of shame and silence. You can stand stronger when you stand with a community of believers—and Johnny will show you how. Find renewed strength to honor your family and worship the God who longs to give you true freedom.

Genres: Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published February 6, 2018

Reviews

[Kooloo · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*
I can def see this book and the individual stories shared being helpful for a lot of men who suffer in silence.
I am glad to know it’s out there - so that I can recommend it to someone I feel could benefit from it.
Thank you for writing it!

[Dora Okeyo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because of the title and that it spoke to my experiences with the men in my life, from the beloved to the uncles, friends and even spouses of my very close friends.
The author takes his time in talking about what most men would rather keep to themselves than share with their loved ones. The reasons behind this range from shame, fear, pride to even early experiences in the form of the men in their lives. However, this book does not just call out the reasons, but it delves into the psychological influence and impacts and then goes into the spiritual.
I'd gift my spouse this book and it's the kind of companion I'd hope he'd read with his friends and find comfort in being able to open up and gain strength. I'm glad I got an arc from NetGalley, it seems the phrase 'I can't believe you did that!' will not be heard anytime soon.

[Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pastor/ Preacher Johnny Hunt is addressing a great need he sees in his book "Unspoken." Throughout his longevity in the ministry, Johnny Hunt has seen a need for men to speak up more. Realizing that men have a lot of struggles and often times from one reason or another will not talk about this difficulties. This book addresses several different areas of struggles ranging from pressures of being a provider to marital infidelity. The book is a challenge to come out and be open about our struggles as men; a call to seek accountability and help. Personally, I appreciate the topics he addressed however, I wish he would have gone a little deeper when it came to these topics (stronger in the spiritual aspect as well as the solution) and I felt like some many of his points were from personal stories. Overall it is a good book that does address a need.

[Joshua Reyes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Los hombres tenemos la tendencia a no hablar, por diferentes cuestiones que el autor menciona de manera acertada en el libro al igual que revela mucho de los secretos que como varones tendemos a no hablar y no tratar, estos teniendo repercusiones muchas veces graves en nuestras vidas

[Bryan Rice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for every Christian man to read. My only complaint is he went on a hobby horse on his chapter on alcohol when he could have had a better message that would have strengthened the general theme of his book.

[Enrique Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

¡Este libro de Johnny Hunt es una joya! Para los que sabemos que luchando solos no podemos, este libro te dará el valor para superar tus obstáculos y entrar en una nueva vida, libre de la esclavitud de la vergüenza y el silencio. Vale la pena leerlo.

[Will Abrams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid book on how Christian men can be more open and honest, the topics they struggle with, and how to build community.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think to a specific audience with specific privileges, this might be helpful. And some themes are good....but so many ways of community support and financial help the author received from HIS mentors are not real life. Community is hard to build and themes of struggles for men might be accurate but one can't just magically receive rich mentors to help with looming financial problems. For stories of God working in his own life, the book was fine. For actual concrete advice/inspiration to real life....I'm not sure that would be helpful. 🤷‍♀️

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the last few years I've become more and more convinced that community is key to Christianity. We need each other. So why was I so skeptical about "Unspoken"?

I have a good group of guys. I've never had more fellas who can give good advice, lend a hand, or hold my feet to the fire. Even so, I'm shrewd with the sharing. I let Proverbs 10:19 be my guide. Still, I don’t want to lose Hunt's point. It's important that we have that accountability. That we have mentors, and that we in turn mentor others. Just don't expect me to invite you into my laundry room lightly.


Notes:

Recommended by Kenyatta Brown

Nook

The single greatest trait of successful young pastoral candidates is teachability (17)

Modeled male behavior of withdrawal and reluctance to have tough conversations (22)

"Why do so many men so strongly resist talking about the very issues that keep them in hiding? Why do we seem so unwilling to tell others important truths about ourselves? Why do we insist on remaining silent or uncommunicative when we ought to speak up?" (29) Personal note: Let's keep it real. As much as I agree with the idea that men should have other men in their lives with whom they're comfortable being open and honest, such transparency has costs. (a) anything you say can and will be used against you if done hastily or to the wrong person. (b) We should all be equally humbled at the foot of the cross, but in practicality such vulnerability can diminish status. The helping hand is the elevated hand.

Personal note: Hunt goes on to address this very thing. Boils it down to fear. I don’t want dismiss the insight, but there could be a fine line between fear and prudence.

Personal note: good point. Whatever we think we're keeping secret will ultimately be "proclaimed from the rooftops" (32)

Trapped in your own false worlds (34)

Personal note: We'll see if the author confesses anything embarrassing about himself!

A stronger commitment to your image than the truth (37)

You become like the smut you watch (57)

Hunt argues the wine of Jesus day was different than ours (73)

Personal note: Hunt really goes off a cliff with the alcohol stuff (78)

At the core of every man's identity is the desire to provide well for his family (79)

Convicting segment about finances (92)

something IN YOUR LIFE NEEDS to God ELEVATED ABOVE SPENDING. uNTIL the PAIN of STAYING IN THE SAME SPOT FINANCIALLY becomes GREATER than the PAIN of making changes IN the WAY You HANDLE YOUR FINANCES, THERE WILL able NO REAL CHANGE. (100)

Personal note: It's uplifting when Hunt gets to the gospel. Perhaps this is a good bottom-line. Men should preach the gospel to one another. (111)

We can't be bitter toward someone and love Jesus as we ought (118)

When we say "Vengeance is mine" we move from victory to viciousness (120)

Does the offender have an obligation to ask for forgiveness? (150)

"If you know what you have and you like it, be reluctant to leave it" (183)

A winner is someone who helps others win (187)

Personal note: I would have liked Hunt to spend more time with the copious passages in the Bible that encourage us to keep our mouths shut. Sharing isn’t always wise.

[Ylva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unspoken was an insightful book about the thought lifes of men. So I get that this book is aimed at men, but I think that wives and wives-to-be can also learn a lot by reading it. Knowing about the importance of having accountability partners and fellowship with other men, a woman can encourage her partner to get involved with them at church. And she might also be able to understand him better and the things that worry him.

For men though, this book delivers practical tips on when to seek the help of other believers and gives great advise on how to deal with problems that every man has to battle with. The style was clear and accessible and there were lots of examples and stories to illustrate the author's points. He also explained the reasons behind certain feelings and behaviors and offered biblical help. I think that many readers will find themselves and their issues in this book.

So you might want to give this book to your husband, husband-to-be or your male friends and I'm sure they'll appreciate it. But if you're a woman, you might also want to keep a copy for yourself to get a better understanding of a man's problems. Very much recommended!

Disclaimer: I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Sergio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente libro que todo hombre debería leer.

Nos muestra la necesidad de tener amigos y apoyarnos mutuamente sin criticar mucho menos juzgar.
Es un libro que nos enseña que también nosotros podemos abrir nuestro corazón y ser comprendidos.

[yamiyoghurt · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read to gain insights into what goes on behind men’s reticence. I particularly enjoyed part 3 as well, which I thought was inspirational and relevant to not just men but women too. The tone of the book is sincere and feels like that of an older mentor wanting to share his life experience with younger men to help them become better persons and avoid the mistakes he has made. A good read for both men and women who want to understand men.