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M4M

(M4M #1-3)

Rick R. Reed (Goodreads Author)

3.68 · Rating details · 44 ratings · 25 reviews

2nd Edition

Finding and keeping love can be a challenge in the modern world of blogging, social media, and online dating, as one man will learn in this trilogy.

VGL Male Seeks Same

Poor Ethan Schwartz. At forty-two, he’s alone, his bed is empty, and his HDTV is overworked. He’s tried bars and other places where gay men are supposed to find each other, but it never works o ...more

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ebook, 2nd edition, 182 pages

Published July 10th 2017 by Dreamspinner Press

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· 44 ratings · 25 reviews

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Jul 10, 2017 True Loveislovereview rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2017, lgbtq

Ethan and his life....
He was good with musing...Ethan was lonely and wanted company.
A dating site.....that was something from this time....Ethan in his early forties thinks of himself as common, plain, nothing special.
Maybe a makeover would help. Not in real but online....
And so he meets Brian and they have a click....even a real life click...

Then Ethan went to the doctor to get the news HIV and his world is tumbling down...
Blaming Brain for 'things' he wants to end his relationship. Trying to ...more

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Jun 24, 2017 Erica Chilson rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 4-star, wickedreads, grief, illness, contemporary-romance

I received a copy of this title to read and review for Wicked Reads

4 Emotional Stars

I'm not entirely sure how to review M4M, as I don't want to ruin another reader's enjoyment by giving away too much. However, one could deduce what occurs from the blurb.

M4M is told in 3 parts, spanning a decade. During 2/3 of the book, Ethan is in his early forties, down on himself and the romance game. He decides to try internet dating, going to a site that wasn't for hookups but for relationships. But, whil I received a copy of this title to read and review for Wicked Reads

4 Emotional Stars

I'm not entirely sure how to review M4M, as I don't want to ruin another reader's enjoyment by giving away too much. However, one could deduce what occurs from the blurb.

M4M is told in 3 parts, spanning a decade. During 2/3 of the book, Ethan is in his early forties, down on himself and the romance game. He decides to try internet dating, going to a site that wasn't for hookups but for relationships. But, while there, he sees the same immaturity and vapidness infecting the interactions. With his actual face, he gets no hits. On a whim, as an experiment, Ethan only changes his profile image, but nothing on his profile, to see if that changes things.

Just as Hannah and I didn't get along during Hungry for love (yet another catfish), Ethan and I didn't mesh, and this did have me struggling a bit. However, Ethan was written authentically, realistically, with a personality that is very human. Flawed. Lacking any self-reflection or self-awareness, judgmental of others yet self-deprecating, jealous- these are all negative personality traits, but each and every single one of us has some of them. It's the human condition.

So, while Ethan and I would have never gotten along IRL, I appreciated his point-of-view, no matter how narrow and self-focused it may have been. Ethan was incapable of seeing life through the different lens of another's perception. I'm generally the voice of reason, so the unethical practice of catfishing really, really rubbed me the wrong way. I was trying to root for Ethan, he was the novel's hero after all, but he needed a wake-up call, big time.

What I appreciated the most was the author using a demographic that is usually ignored in most genres. People over forty as the main love interests, both of them. Also, added on top of that, neither were fit, silver foxes that had younger men drooling for their attention. Ethan and Brian were everyday middle-aged men, and it made the story more authentic.

With that being said, I felt Ethan was very immature for his age, his mental signature- the catty thoughts, the way he didn't take responsibility for his own actions, didn't see how his actions/reactions had an impact on Brian (during part 2). Mad props, as the author maintained the characterization. But, as I said, it was a personality type I couldn't relate to, nor handle in real life. I'm a walking mirror, reflecting back at people, and people don't appreciate that. Ethan needed such a person in his life.

When it came to part three, I enjoyed the more subdued, mature, wise Ethan. He's in his early fifties now, and living with HIV, having found and lost love, that has given him the tools to self-reflect, even while deep in grief. I adored wise Ethan, even as I empathized and cried for him. But, true to his characterization, he was still catty and judgmental, especially with Ben. Inner-monologue-ing about Bubbles.

I'd been waiting for Bubbles to resurface, knowing after the beginning there was more to come. Ben's words of wisdom struck a chord, both with me (the reader) and obviously with Ethan. In a way, I wish this part was expanded more, but I have an active imagination and can fill in the blanks. Ben was an interesting character.

Parts One & Two, while I was intrigued, wanting to know more, Ethan's attitude, his inability to see outside of himself, made it difficult for me to connect with both him as a character and with the story. I appreciated the HIV blog- the entries and comments, creating a highly authentic read. Part Three was my favorite part of the story, even with grief riding shotgun.

...more

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Jun 25, 2017 CrabbyPatty rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2017-reads, arcs-received, dreamspinner-dsp-harmony, gaybookreviews, hurt-comfort-healing, met-at-grl, second-chance

The three novellas that comprise M4M introduce us to Ethan as he wonders if life has passed him by at the ripe old age of 42.

Somewhere there had to be a companion for him, just waiting. His dream man wasn’t in all the places he had fruitlessly checked, like the bars, backstage, and in his office. But he was out there, and like Ethan, he too was pulling the covers up by himself and thinking the answer to the riddle of how to escape a solitary existence was just within reach.

In VGL Male Seeks Sa ...more

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Aug 06, 2017 Barb ~rede-2-read~ rated it really liked it

Shelves: angst-a-lot, favorites, for-review, humor, hurt-comfort, older-mc-over-40, read-2017, sweet

Note: This book was provided to me by the publisher through Hearts on Fire Reviews in exchange for an impartial review.

This story is divided into three segments, two were formerly released as short books, and the third is new. I’ll review each and then summarize the whole. And I’m keeping this as spoiler-free as possible.

VGL Male Seeks Same:

This segment was really terrific. The self-deprecating humor of MC Ethan was outstanding. In fact, there were so many times when I found it outright hila ...more

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Aug 31, 2020 Serena Yates rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: read-2020, gay

Dating and finding the right partner can be tough, and whoever thinks it’s easier in the computer age - what with all the blogs, dating sites, and chat rooms now available is wrong. The basic problem is still human nature, all the individual idiosyncrasies and quirks we have, and if you’re an “older” gay male (i.e. above forty), the task becomes almost impossible. The three novellas in this collection accurately, sometimes humorously, describe Ethan’s path to happiness, and I loved every single ...more

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Jul 22, 2017 Pat rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Another thought-provoking romance from Mr. Reed that will stay with readers long after they finish the book.

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Jul 10, 2017 Melanie rated it it was amazing

A Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Review

Rating: 4.75 stars out of 5

For the full review, visit http://wp.me/p220KL-b18

From that review: "I truly can't imagine reading M4M by Rick R. Reed as anything except one deeply moving story...to me it doesn't even register as three separate tales. Rather three stages in one man's life, two so heartrending that the tissues seemed inadequate at times to stop the amount of tears that flowed. Even now just thinking about Ethan and his journey, I start to c ...more

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Jul 09, 2017 Kirsty Bicknell rated it it was amazing

Shelves: just-freaking-awesome, m-m, review-copy, romance, same-sex

Review originally published at Joyfully Jay Reviews

M4M is a novel made up of three parts — VGL Male Seeks Same, NEG uB2, and Status Updates (the first two were previously released as separate stories). For me, reading M4M as a whole is perfect, taking the reader from the beginning of Ethan’s foray into online dating and his meeting with Brian in VGL Male Seeks Same, to the moment he is diagnosed as being HIV positive and begins writing a blog in NEG UB2, and finally, Status Updates in which Eth Review originally published at Joyfully Jay Reviews

M4M is a novel made up of three parts — VGL Male Seeks Same, NEG uB2, and Status Updates (the first two were previously released as separate stories). For me, reading M4M as a whole is perfect, taking the reader from the beginning of Ethan’s foray into online dating and his meeting with Brian in VGL Male Seeks Same, to the moment he is diagnosed as being HIV positive and begins writing a blog in NEG UB2, and finally, Status Updates in which Ethan deals with his grief at losing the love of his life, while a Facebook friend request challenges Ethan and brings possibilities.
As I expect with any book written by Rick R. Reed, M4M is thoughtful, sensitive, and relevant. Each section of the novel is based on the growing popularity of different forms of social media and Reed is constantly able to make stimulating comments about the way in which modern society relies upon technology.
As someone who has recently had her own experiences with online dating, I felt particularly connected to Ethan in VGL Male Seeks Same. I could relate to Ethan’s feelings of disappointment and low self-esteem after receiving no messages on wingpeople.com and I like how Reed does not ignore the issue of ‘catfishing’ that is so prevalent in real-life. Yet, I was also drawn into the romance — the deliveries of bouquets and shared emails — and though for the most part of this section, Ethan and Brian do not meet, Reed still gives his reader that sense of anticipation.
However, the tone of Reed’s writing shifts completely in NEG uB2. The reader is present when Ethan receives his crushing diagnosis and I shared his disbelief. Reed effectively communicates Ethan’s confusion and I love the fact that Ethan’s introspection is channeled into a blog, brilliantly titled “Off to see the Wizard of Poz.” Apart from these blog entries, Reed’s narration in M4M is third person and though this works in terms of the story, I also think the first person blog posts allow the reader an insight into Ethan’s jumble of thoughts and emotions, and this is an astute choice by Reed.
I honestly have never personally received a diagnosis of this magnitude, but it appeared to me that Ethan’s blog posts were carefully thought out by Reed and I think the fact that he recognizes there are still people being diagnosed as HIV positive is important, though he also addresses the use of drugs to control the disease.
In Status Updates the reader sees a different Ethan again and it is this part of M4M that frequently brought tears to my eyes. This time, Reed uses Facebook to help his story develop, or as Ethan refers to it: “the world’s great time waster.” Every reader of M4M will probably recognize Ethan’s feelings at receiving a friend request from someone he hasn’t seen for years, though when we realize who this person is, there is a sense of familiarity. It has been difficult in NEG UB2 and Status Updates, watching the protagonist in pain and feeling helpless, but with this new development, the reader snatches at the hope Reed hands us. M4M does not end on a concrete HEA, but I found myself unable to shake thoughts of Ethan and his story, many hours after I had finished it.
I was not at all disappointed by M4M but when I saw “erotic” in the description I did expect something else. There is one sex scene that I can recall in VGL Male Seeks Same and yes, this could be said to have mild themes of BDSM and is explicit to a degree, but M4M is much more than an “erotic” novel. M4M deals with being a 40-something-year-old man in the modern world, faced with uncertainty and issues beyond his control. As always, Reed combines story-telling with the human experience and I would highly recommend M4M.
A review copy of this book was provided by Dreamspinner Press. ...more

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Jul 10, 2017 Fiona Lyle rated it really liked it

Full review at: https://optimummblog.wordpress.com/20...

M4M was previously published and released as two separate short stories. It has now been put together in one book, with a third part added to bring a conclusion to the story and tie it all together.

Ethan Schwartz is a publicist for theater companies in Chicago. He’s had enough of being single and hates how mundane his life has become. Ethan wants more than just a hook-up. He’s done with the pretty party boys and the bar/club pick-up’s, wher Full review at: https://optimummblog.wordpress.com/20...

M4M was previously published and released as two separate short stories. It has now been put together in one book, with a third part added to bring a conclusion to the story and tie it all together.

Ethan Schwartz is a publicist for theater companies in Chicago. He’s had enough of being single and hates how mundane his life has become. Ethan wants more than just a hook-up. He’s done with the pretty party boys and the bar/club pick-up’s, where he never really felt like he fitted in. Ethan wants someone who he can be himself with, who shares his interests, someone he can snuggle on the couch with watching movies from the 1930/40’s. Someone to love. But he thinks that he’ll never find a person like that in the world he’s living in, because everyone he’s met so far, only wants one thing, and that’s sex.

When Ethan hears a colleague talking about a dating website, he decides that since he can’t find what he’s looking for in a guy by going out on the town, he may as well see if he can find it across the internet. So Ethan signs up to the website and creates a profile. This is where he meets Brian who’s an attorney and lives quite close to Ethan. Ethan can’t believe how much they have in common and is sure that Brian can’t be real because he feels that all of the similarities between them is just too good to be true, and surely, he can’t be that lucky to find his perfect guy online? But the two men form a connection to each other and quickly fall in love. Ethan is sure his life can’t get any better, but then one day he’s given the devastating news that he’s HIV positive. He can’t believe what he’s being told, and immediately comes to the conclusion that the only way that he could have contracted it was from Brian. His now perfect life and relationship have suddenly fallen apart in the blink of an eye. Ethan learns that even when you are at your happiest, sometimes life just throws you a little test, to see how strong a person you really are.

This book has me conflicted. I’m struggling to decide how I really felt about the story overall. There were parts that I didn’t particularly like, then there were parts that I really loved. I found it quite slow and hard to get into at the beginning and really couldn’t connect with the main character at all. But then as I worked my way through the book and got towards the end of part two and into the new story, I found myself becoming very emotional and teary, but I think that was more to do with the author’s writing and storytelling than the feelings I had for Ethan. I loved Ethan’s blog that he started about being HIV positive. The author did an amazing job of portraying the feelings and emotions involved in receiving the news and coming to terms with the diagnosis and then learning to live with it. I just wish we actually had a little more in-depth detail about this part of the story because I feel like that was never fully concluded or resolved and it left me with a lot of questions. The third part of the book was by far the best, and I think that this really saved the whole book. The writing was exceptional, and I was really choked up trying to get through each paragraph. It was something I definitely didn’t expect considering I felt practically no emotion reading the first two parts. So I’m glad I stuck it out even when I didn’t really feel like it.

***The ARC was provided by Dreamspinner Press. My review is an honest opinion of the book***

...more

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Jul 13, 2017 Sandra rated it really liked it

Shelves: arc-publisher-direct, dreamspinner-press, 2017-book-challenge, angst-and-drama, bittersweet, contemporary, cry-me-a-river, dipshit-heroes, flowers-and-chocolates, m-m-yeah-baby

This book is told in three parts/novellas and span about 10 years of Ethan's life.

We start off with VGL Male Seeks Same, in which Ethan, in his early 40s, has lost hope of ever finding someone to build a life with. He's tired of the bar scene and his empty bed. When he overhears a younger colleague at his job talking about a website to meet other men, he's intrigued and signs up. At first, he doesn't get any bites, but when he changes his profile picture to that of a fabulous hunky silver fox, h This book is told in three parts/novellas and span about 10 years of Ethan's life.

We start off with VGL Male Seeks Same, in which Ethan, in his early 40s, has lost hope of ever finding someone to build a life with. He's tired of the bar scene and his empty bed. When he overhears a younger colleague at his job talking about a website to meet other men, he's intrigued and signs up. At first, he doesn't get any bites, but when he changes his profile picture to that of a fabulous hunky silver fox, his profile gets a ton of responses. Including one from a hot guy named Brian.

This story really drove home the point that looks can and do fade and what matters are the personalities and compatibility of two people in a relationship, as well as the fact that many people on dating sites will focus more on looks and less so on the actual person behind the profile. And that lies have a way of catching up with you.

I quite liked this - 4 stars.

In NEGUB2, Ethan goes for a routine HIV test and is told that it came back positive. Knowing he hasn't had sex with anyone but Brian recently, Ethan is immediately convinced that Brian has to have infected him. He stops responding to emails and texts and avoids his boyfriend while he grapples with his new reality. Needing an outlet, Ethan starts a blog "Off To See The Wizard Of Poz", in which he shares his fears and muses on what the future will hold. I really liked the blogposts that were included for this, but I hated Ethan for jumping to conclusions and the utter lack of trust he displays in Brian. It frustrated me that he would immediately suspect Brian of infecting him, and it took the advice of a co-worker for Ethan to pull his head out of his ass and talk to Brian. Still, considering that this novella kept me glued to the pages, I give it 4 stars also.

In the third novella, Status Updates, we catch up with Ethan 8 years later. And the moment I found out what had to happen for this novella to take shape, I was mad. I understood why the author did what he did, but I hated it nonetheless. Sure, it brings Ethan's story full circle, and it was beautifully written and really brought out the author's ability to write realistic emotions, which is why it's getting the 5 stars it deserves, but I was so upset at Ethan being alone again that I actually cried. Ethan's grief was heartbreaking.

I thought that the entire trilogy was very realistically written. The character of Ethan was beautifully done, and while I didn't always agree with his actions and reactions, he did feel real to me. He could be that guy I saw the other day at the grocery story, looking a little sad, while filling his basket with groceries for one.

It's not a grand romance, but there is love inside, real love, and loss, too. And it begs the question - is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher. A positive review was not promised in return. ** ...more

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Jul 02, 2017 Steph ☀️ rated it liked it

Shelves: gay-book-reviews, mm_contemporary, z-read-in-2017

***2.75 stars (rounded-up)***

Part One - 2008
Well, to put it bluntly it sucked. The first part is a lot of his inner dialogue that drove me up the wall. There is very little exchange between him and his coworkers, he doesn't have any friends outside of work so yeah it was boring. I really wanted to give him a happy pill. It wasn't until he met Brian for the first time that it started to get a bit better. I never knew I craved so much interaction until I read this story lol.

Part Two - 2009 ...more

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Aug 29, 2020 Jeff rated it it was amazing

M4M contains three stories in one volume. BUT for me, reading it for the first time, it worked as one complete work. I'm not sure how I would rate this if I had read it in 'pieces'. I chose this based on the art, title, and author-- expecting a romance with complicated characters- based of previous work (I've read) by Reed. I loved this-- but I don't consider it a M/M Romance. It's a full-fledged novel.

Gay men are often portrayed as shallow, haunted, sex-obsessed creatures. Here, Ethan (as well ...more

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Aug 27, 2020 Linda rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Lonely and middle-aged Ethan longs for love: full of emotion👬

4-4.5🌟stars
I found this trio of stories about Ethan and Brian an interesting construction. Author Rick R. Reed is anything but formulaic about the stories he writes.
I love that when I open a new book by Reed I never know what to expect (though I have always found the writing excellent and the emotional content powerful).

Ethan is the central figure who unites the three segments which all take place in Chicago from 2008 to 2017. Each s ...more

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Oct 10, 2020 Shirley Frances rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: mm-read, mm-series, ng, contemporary, glbt, 2020, reviewed

Back in 2012, I read VGL Male Seeks Same where Ethan, a 42 year old gay man was looking for love in all the wrong places when he decides to give online dating a chance. That's where he meets Brian, who sounds utterly perfect for him and soon Ethan feels like he's found the love of his life and his own happily ever after.

In NEG UB2 Ethan gets some news that turns his word upside down and and we find ourselves accompanying Ethan in this journey as he battles doubt, hurt and a huge sense of betra ...more

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Aug 30, 2020 D rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this book in return for an honest review.

M4M has three stories in it all featuring Ethan.

The first book is where Ethan is lonely and tries to find someone using the internet (it is also set in 2008).
The second book is where Ethan finds out he is HIV positive and he is wondering if his boyfriend (who he met in the first book) was the one who infected him.
The third book finds Ethan all alone and when an old nemesis contacts him on Facebook, he may find anoth ...more

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Jul 11, 2017 annob rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m-romance, contemporary, contemporary-romance, fiction, romance, m-m, ownvoices, lgbtqia, mm-contemporary

4.5 stars! Reading the 2nd edition of this story, I can see why it is totally worth to be published anew. It's a strongly recommended read, with a main character and supporting cast that come across the page as real and fully fledged, all with flaws of their own (mainly simply being human), reflected in their actions and reactions as the story progresses. I blush along with Ethan when he is confronted with the tangled web of untruths he created, get angry with him when he - during a vunerable ti ...more

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Feb 11, 2018 Michael W. McFarland rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

The first of many i believe

I will read of Rick's books. He knows how to play on heartstrings and took me from happy to angry to grabbing for the Kleenex. At first, I could "hear" Rick's voice reading M4M to me, but then his characters took full hold and developed their own voices. I'm looking forward to reading another, and another, and so on.... ...more

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Nov 04, 2020 Sarah Baines rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This will be a short review as words don't do this book justice. Simply put, M4M is absolutely stunning. It's also incredibly emotional. I confess at one point I nearly gave up on it as it wasn't grabbing me. I am so glad I didn't because I'd have missed a beauty.

Thanks to NetGalley and Publishers for my ARC of this book. ...more

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Sep 03, 2020 AL rated it really liked it

It took me a moment to get used to the style the author chose to narrate the story, but overall, I liked it. The theme of story is very contemporary and important, the approach interesting and well realised.
I liked the characters and it's a stron 4 stars for me. ...more

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Jan 26, 2021 Laila rated it it was ok · review of another edition

I received a copy of the book from Netgalley to review. Thank you for the opportunity.
A nice idea behind this story but it didn't really deliver. Things moved very quickly and it was more like a series of novellas than a cohesive story. The writing is good if quite explicit at times.
An OK read. ...more

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Feb 17, 2021 Stupid Romance rated it it was amazing

Wow! Did not expect that. Not a typical love story, but what a beautiful one it is. This is not a book I am likely to forget soon. It most definitely made an impression on me.

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Jul 15, 2017 Ada rated it it was ok

Shelves: bookporn, did-not-finish, facepalm-multiple-times, meh, romance-mm

You know what? Some people will really enjoy the somewhat dramatic style of writing. To me it feels... meh. And I don't want to keep on reading a meh story. ...more

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About Rick R. Reed

Rick R. Reed

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Real Men. True Love.

Rick R. Reed draws inspiration from the lives of gay men to craft stories that quicken the heartbeat, engage emotions, and keep the pages turning. Although he dabbles in horror, dark suspense, and comedy, his attention always returns to the power of love. He’s the award-winning and bestselling author of more than fifty works of published fiction and is forever at work on yet an ...more