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The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World

3.79  ·  Rating details ·  1,989 ratings  ·  269 reviews
An introvert guide and manifesto for all the quiet ones—and the people who love them.

Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can’t seem to access? Have you ever been told you’re too “quiet,” “shy,” “boring,” or “awkward”? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a so
Paperback, 320 pages
Published August 1st 2017 by Skyhorse
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Amalia Gkavea
I knew the meaning of the word "introvert" from the age of 10,when my teacher told my mum what she already knew.I was an introvert and this helped me write beautiful compositions.The definitions and characteristics Jean Granneman uses to describe the different types of introverts are spot on and I could easily identify myself with many of the examples she mentions.

She writes in a simple,clear language that is a combination of scientific results and well-composed explanations for us, laymen.She
Greta G
Oct 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Greta G by: Amalia Gkavea
He : “What book did you read?”
Me : “Oh, some book about introversion.”
He : “You didn’t tell me much about it.”
Me : “Mmmm ... Hahaha!”
Schizanthus Nerd
Oct 14, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: netgalley
Not to brag or anything but my platinum Introvert membership card was recently upgraded to diamond status by scoring 100% on Jenn Granneman's signs I may be an introvert. You're more than welcome to join our club. We meet in a quiet coffee shop that's closed to the general public during our meeting once every blue moon when all three of the people of our offshoot of the organisation hasn't already had too many meetings or been peopled out that week. Actually, you're more likely to find us at ho ...more
Dec 23, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017
Since reading Susan Cain’s Quiet a few years ago, I’ve been eager to learn more about the topic of Introversion. The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World, written by Jenn Granneman, the creator of the site and community boasted a unique look on the subject that I’ve been unable to experience through any of my previously read books. I enjoyed the facts and personal accounts of other introverts, as well as the incredible organization of this book. Out of the three ...more
Aug 08, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I wanted to love this book and parts of it I really did enjoy, especially the beginning and the end. But there were some parts that I just couldn't stay awake reading and just glanced over. For a young person who thinks they're less than because of their introvert qualities I think this would be a good book. But for someone like me who's falling in love with her introvert qualities and looking for more of a here's why your introversion is your superpower - this is not it. ...more
Jun 10, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As an introvert who falls to the far left on the introvert-extrovert continuum, I wish I'd had this book to read when i was a teenager. Susan Cain's Quiet struck like a lightning bolt, with its research-based view of introversion as a strength, not a liability. Granneman's book adds the voices and experiences of introverts as they navigate a world in which extroversion is perceived as the norm, and introversion an unfortunate characteristic to be overcome. Hearing how these individuals come to t ...more
☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣
“It’s even more frustrating when I’m told to smile,” she writes. “Thinking isn’t really conducive to smiling, and in my opinion, it would be much stranger if I was pondering to myself with a huge grin on my face rather than my normal, concentrated look. Is it wrong for me to be just thinking? Why should I owe anyone a smile?” (c)
Aaron Caycedo-Kimura
Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts is a book for everyone, introverts and extroverts alike. From the first embrace of chapter one, introverts who have endured the pain of feeling out of place, inadequate, or outright weird, will feel remarkably understood. Jenn shows introverted readers how to “begin working with [their] introversion, rather than fighting against it” through invaluable advice for a variety of life situations. And extroverts will learn secrets to better understand an ...more
Anusha Narasimhan
This book gives an insider view of the introvert’s inner world and offers tips on leading life as an introvert. Although I was aware of most of the content because I’ve been actively reading up on the topic, it was still a good read. I may have rated it higher if I was new to the topic. If you are someone who hasn't checked out Introvert, Dear and other similar sites, you will enjoy it more.

Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher. This has not influenced my review in any way.
Apr 11, 2018 rated it really liked it
Actual rating: 3.5 stars

As an introvert, I found “The Secret Lives of Introverts” an enjoyable read. However, I have already read several books about introversion, so I didn’t learn many new things. There were several beautiful quotes that I found relatable though. Many fellow introvert experiences also tugged at my heartstrings. Lastly, I think that readers who are into self-help would appreciate that Jenn Granneman included many detailed tips for both introverts and extroverts in different sit
May 24, 2017 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: intoverts and extroverts alike
Given the abundance of literature and online interest the topic of introversion is currently generating, it is not easy to write about it in a non-predictable manner. I always enjoy broadening my knowledge on the subject, since it helps me to manage my own life a lot, but I surely wouldn't spend my time on just anything introvert-related. Also to be honest, Susan Cain's seminal book Quiet is a nerdy masterpiece that I find very hard to rival.

So what new does Jenn Granneman bring to the table? Be
May 14, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: non-fiction

The book begins with Granneman describing the moment she learned she was an introvert. Specifically, she was relieved that there was a name for it, and that it was normal for her not to be like her extroverted friends. This, of course, made me think back to my childhood, but a trip down memory lane yielded no “Aha!” moment. I always knew I was an introvert, and I didn't have friends or family members who made me feel weird about it. I guess I assumed that since introverts spend so much time in o
roxi Net
May 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Coming to terms with being an introvert was fairly easy for me, however I was completely sure what it actually meant on life-terms, and I think this book is fairly spot on. I was surprised to find information on how to find the right "partner", introvert-levels, choosing the right career, etc. I appreciated the high-level/detailed explanations (as well as the quizzes and illustrations), and while I'm not sure how it would be to handsell, I can see how it would be a resource for those who want to ...more
Anubha (BooksFullOfLife, LifeFullOfBooks)
It was a good book and very informative about introverts, with tips for extroverts about how to be friends or partners with introverts. There were various interactive things like a quiz, and the author explained everything through real life researches and examples, had statistical data which really made the content appealing and authentic. One thing that I did confirm through this book that am definitely not an introvert but an ambivert. It was a good read.
Can relate so well... nails it!
Diane ™
I love this book! I can identify with so much here: the craving for solitude, the introvert hangover (my maximum comfortable time at gatherings is usually about two hours), the need for deep conversation rather than chit-chat, being misunderstood (no, I'm not upset, I just need to be alone), and on and on. And Resting Sad Face! OMG. At age 50, it is a startlingly gratifying thing to realize that others have had that, too. I truly thought this was something that was simply wrong with me. LOL. For ...more
Drew Jacob
Aug 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Disclosure: I was one of the hundreds of introverts that author Jenn Granneman interviewed for this book. I also co-created Introvert Dreams, a coloring book, with Granneman.

The Secret Lives of Introverts is an excellent read. It stands out from other introvert books because Granneman focuses on the personal experiences of real introverts, not just the science behind introversion. She has a background as a journalist and put it to good work: the book is packed with stories from the people she sa
Jan 31, 2020 marked it as dnf
Shelves: self-help
DNF @ 70%. This is a well-meaning book intended to help introverts understand themselves (and extroverts to understand introverts), presented in the informal style of a blog post or an online article. No surprise, since the author is the founder of the online platform Introvert, Dear, from which most of the ideas in this book are culled. While the style was easy to follow and the content digestible, there's nothing new here about introverts or extroverts that we don't already know from pop cultu ...more
Tracy Davis
Jul 31, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Since discovering I am an introvert, I am always on the lookout for information to help me thrive in a world that does not always value my temperament. I was excited to hear that Jenn Granneman, founder of the Introvert, Dear community, wrote The Secret Life of Introverts. Compared to Quiet by Susan Cain, the The Secret Life of Introverts is lighter on the research and heavier on the practical advice. The Secret Life of Introverts clears up introvert myths, gives lots of relationship advice in a ...more
Bookish Dervish
Mar 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
Finally... a book that tells me much about myself. I wonder why I didn't stumble upon this book ( or its likes) before, knowing that -being an EFL teacher - I have been exposed to this topic many times.!!
answering the questionnaire figuring in this book; I am identified as an introvert. but I've been so since I can remember. this is how I scored{ Social 35\ Thinking 23\ Anxious 21\ restrained 16}
I have very few friends
I am terrible at mingling and socializing
I've been told I enjoy a very "weird"
This is an intriguing self help style book for introverts encouraging you to embrace who you are in your introversion. It helped me realize I'm much less introverted than I originally thought yet my closest relationships have developed over the years and been more enjoyable as I come to understand the multiple facets and layers of those introverts in my life who embody some of the points described. (To be honest though, I re-wrote my review 3x) ...more
Rhonda Lomazow
Aug 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An honest open real look at what it means to be an introvert.How introverts can seem outgoing or called aloof no cookie cutter format.One thing introverts have in common needing time alone most would be happier staying in on a Saturday night reading a book or watching a movie then go to a party,All introverts will find themselves portrayed in this book.Anyone looking for the meaning of introversion Grab this book.Thanks at Net Galley for an early Galley for honest review.

For someone discovering for the first time what introversion is, I think that book could help a lot since it gives a lot of advices as well as testimonies from introverted people. But as someone who is already familiar with the subject, the book didn’t teach me anything new. But I would still recommend it to introverted people since the book covers a lot of subjects such as what introversion is but also introversion in love or at work.

Rachael Abrams
Aug 23, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I can't say that I really learned anything new with this book, but it did reinforce that I am a HARDCORE introvert. And it's always nice to read a book that praises people who are quieter and don't often see recognition. I thought that three chapters on relationships went a little long, but I really enjoyed the chapter on the introvert hangover. The struggle is real, y'all. ...more
Oct 04, 2017 rated it it was amazing
As an introvert I really related to this book. I read it fast and kissed it when I finished it. Thank you for reassuring me that being an introvert doesn't mean something is "wrong" with me. ...more
Jülie ☼♄ 
Oct 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing

Review to follow soon...
Jan 13, 2019 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
This was an enlightening read! There were moments when I nodded my head in acknowledgment and agreement. I appreciated how in the beginning chapters Granneman explained what introvert is, and the difference between the term personality and temperament. For most of the points discussed, she made sure to have survey results and/or scientific research accompanied.

Other than that, the author covered the topic of relationship and career as well. She explored the different dynamics of relationships,
Allison Anderson Armstrong
I finished it against my will, but hated almost every second of it. This is a book that justifies and glorifies the "introvertiest" of introverts by explaining how introverts think, feel, and act and why they don't need to try to "change" themselves to become more extroverted. It drew a lot of generalizations and didn't try to encourage introverts to become better or less like themselves - I think that's what we all need to hear - be what you aren't as much as possible (within reason) and that w ...more
Oct 09, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was not what I was expecting. I love Introvert, Dear, but this just didn't do it for me. This would be excellent for a younger adult who is not married (huge chapter on dating, being single, etc.) and just starting a career (large chapter on that). Since I am married to another introvert and I am happily a teacher, large chunks of this book did not apply to me. However, the parts that did apply to me were quite good. I am glad that this book exists. ...more
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Jenn Granneman is on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it’s okay to be who they are. She has advocated for introverts since 2013, when she created, the popular online community and publication for introverts. For most of her life, she felt weird, different, and out of place because of her quiet ways; now, she writes about introversion because she doesn’t want other int ...more

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“Introverts live in two worlds: We visit the world of people, but solitude and the inner world will always be our home.” 67 likes
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