Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives” as Want to Read:
Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives

by
4.13  ·  Rating details ·  504 ratings  ·  73 reviews
"Is it wrong that I wanted to underline every single word in this book? Simmons brilliantly crystallizes contemporary girls’ dilemma: the way old expectations and new imperatives collide; how a narrow, virtually unattainable vision of ‘success’ comes at the expense of self-worth and well-being. Enough As She is a must-read, not only for its diagnosis of the issues but for ...more
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published February 27th 2018 by Harper
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Enough As She Is, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Enough As She Is

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
4.13  · 
Rating details
 ·  504 ratings  ·  73 reviews


More filters
 | 
Sort order
Christina
Aug 21, 2018 rated it liked it
I selected this among the faculty summer reading options because I had been teaching at an all-boys school for a while before re-entering a co-ed setting. I am also a mother of a girl.

As a teacher, I am often disturbed by what Simmons calls "the college application industrial complex," which is of course not unique to girls. Granted, that's easy for me to say since I've had the privilege of incredible education during and after secondary school. However. It still concerns me when students and p
...more
Elizabeth
Dec 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I picked this book up as a resource for working with my counseling clients, but I quickly realized I was reading it for myself. This book helped me realize so much - it normalized my anxiety, my desire to be everything to everyone, and my overwhelming need to be the best. It taught me that despite feeling this way, it’s ok to fail, or feel confused, or say no. I absolutely loved this book and recommend it to anyone who feels like they don’t quite measure up to the impossible standards we come ag ...more
Viktoria
Feb 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you have a daughter or have ever been one, this book has some great advice for you. Much of Ms. Simmons research and antidotes feels tailored for upper class, white, Ivy Leaguers even though she sites many statistics for lower class, ethnic, immigrant, and LGBTQ girls. Underneath the talk of college admissions to so-and-so's alma mater, the advice is sound. Stop trying to be perfect. You can't do it all. Take risks to discover your passion.
Caitie
Mar 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is a very important book in today's world. Girls and young women are under an overwhelming onslaught of perfection. Getting into the right school, having enough AP classes and/or sports, etc. It never seems to end. If a girl is seen as not being perfect, then something must be wrong with them. Rachel Simmons proves that this is the furthest thing from the truth.

Her main argument is that from a young age girls are told things like "you can be anything you want" or "if you set your mind to it
...more
Anne
Feb 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Learned a lot about the kid version of me and ways to help both my son and daughter choose to be good solid humans. This was a library acquisition but plan to pick this up down the road for targeted looks. Not a fan of how to parent books so the rating is real.
Scott County Library System
Simmons provides a clearly written and well reasoned look at the unrealistic expectations set on girls, especially in regards to the "college application industrial complex". She provides some reasonable actions for parents to take. This book is perhaps best read piecemeal as opposed to straight through. The best and perhaps most convicting chapters were: Can we fat talk?, Control alt delete, We can't give our children what we don't have.
One missing piece is how to find purpose or value without
...more
Kristen Ploetz
(I'd probably rate 3.5 stars if it was an option) I've read many books of this kind so some of the information was not necessarily new to me, but what's different about this one, in a good way, is that it offers solutions/suggestions for "parents" (see below) to help their daughters navigate some of the kinds of things girls today might experience. If a parent wants just one book about guiding daughters at this age (say, 11-17), then this would be the one that is more middle of the road and less ...more
Christine
Simmons provides a clearly written and well reasoned look at the unrealistic expectations set on girls, especially in regards to the college application industrial complex. She provides some reasonable actions for parents to take. This book is perhaps best read piecemeal as opposed to straight through. The best and perhaps most convicting chapters were: can we fat talk?, control alt delete, we can't give our children what we don't have.
one missing piece is how to find purpose or value rather tha
...more
Julie
Jan 25, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: coming-of-age
"Is it wrong that I wanted to underline every single word in this book? Simmons brilliantly crystallizes contemporary girls’ dilemma: the way old expectations and new imperatives collide; how a narrow, virtually unattainable vision of ‘success’ comes at the expense of self-worth and well-being. Enough As She is a must-read, not only for its diagnosis of the issues but for its insightful, useful strategies on how to address them."—Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex

"A brilliant and passion
...more
Kara
Jul 21, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was assigned this book as a summer professional development reading for my upcoming teaching job at an all-girls high school. Rachel Simmons will be delivering a speech to the students in August. First, let me say that "self-help," or "personal development" are totally NOT my genres. I am a literature lover (especially novels), but I do read an occasional non-fiction text, and I have been trying to work more of them into my reading list. This book makes some good points and rings true in many ...more
April
Jan 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio-books
Want healthy and happy daughters? Start here. This is a clear must-read for parents and educators of girls. I read it because of my daughter, but cannot stop thinking about how to implement and shift for the students in my classes as well. For all of my current and recent female students, I recommend this book highly-- it is written for parents, and would be ideal for them to "drive" with you as a passenger, but if that is less tenable than reading it yourself, the information and exercises are ...more
Rosewhitekrw
Mar 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
This book was a little bit pushed upon me by my Boss Man who is pre-reading the book before he gives it to his 12 year old daughter and I thought that this book was absolutely awesome. I am so glad that we, now a days, have informative material like this so easily at our disposal unlike previous generations of parents. I was raised by my grandparents and I would have done anything in the world for them to take and follow at leadt half of the advice that was given throughout the book.

My house ho
...more
Selene
Aug 04, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-for-work
I found this book to be full of practical advice about having conversations with one's daughter(s), which can also be applied by teachers who teach adolescent girls. It was enlightening for me, and a little alarming as well. The author uses her own professional experience and research to discuss topics such as social media and the "college application industrial complex." She paints a picture of girls who are expected to be perfect in all sorts of ways, and the stress this is causing them. She o ...more
Susan
Feb 27, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Such a timely and important book for parents of girls (and boys) who daily face extraordinary pressure to effortlessly perform in school, on social media, and with their peers. A reminder that your daughter's teen years aren't one long college application process, and that her ultimate goal is to have the tools and fortitude to navigate life's challenges, build meaningful relationships, and pursue purpose, not perfection.

Rachel's voice is approachable, nuanced and compassionate--she gets how ou
...more
Adam
May 07, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
There are a ton of really important messages about parenting and educating young girls and young women in this country. While some of the messages may seem overly obviously, in practice their importance becomes clear. I would love to discuss this book with more women, and women with children in particular, about how this book resonates with them. Despite the fact that it's largely about girls and women, there were also some universal truths and salient questions that may help us *all* think abou ...more
Jasmine
Apr 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
After having read The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel's Simmons' second book, two years ago for school, I'd been following her online, and was really excited to read her new book. I teach girls and see a lot of them in this book; I also see a lot of myself, as I'm really at the top of the age bracket she writes about. While many of the topics are really current, a lot of the influences have clearly been affecting girls for some time, because I feel I experience a lot of the same challenges as the ...more
Tanya
Apr 07, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, audiobook
I found the book useful for this stage of my parenting. It is the sort of book for me that is helpful to read as a text so I may put this one on the library queue and give it a reread when it is ready for check out. I do believe there are sections I want my spouse to look over and he won’t be able to reinforce and implement some of the parenting ideas if I just talk about them but he doesn’t have a chance to study it himself first. I found the college applications and social medial chapters the ...more
Shareen
Apr 26, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
This book is a great overview of the social and psychological pressures that teen and young adult girls face today. I read a lot on this topic, so some of it felt like a review of a lot I'd already read, but frankly, it's something I need constant reminders about. In anxiety for our daughters' futures it's easy to fall into the trap of pushing them to be a certain way, reach perfection or add accomplishments just for the sake of looking good to colleges, but that's so unhealthy. Some of her advi ...more
Jeanne
May 28, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I want to buy this book and give it to every person I know who is raising or teaching girls. (I even think high school and college girls would benefit from reading about their own culture from an outside perspective.) While many of the statistics about adolescent girls are frightening to parents and teachers, Simmons gives some practical approaches for many of the things their daughters do that cause them grief and worry. I'm also struck at how many of the behaviors are still echoed in our adult ...more
Victoria
Aug 19, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book tackles a lot of challenges facing girls today, including defensive pessimism, the confidence gap, perfectionism, and tons more. The authors main focus, however, is how all these challenges snowball into the mania of the college application industrial complex.

The parts I loved most about this book were the stats that served as a foundation for the authors arguments, as well as the practical advice for parents (including scripts to use).

Personally, I found the interview excerpts to be
...more
Mark
Mar 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Every book by Rachel Simmons is amazing. I love how naturally she discusses the struggles many girls and women go through. She does it without catastrophizing, but clearly presenting the problem. And, she gives very helpful suggestions for parents and caregivers.

In raising a girl myself, the knowledge in this book is invaluable. I am so grateful to be able to learn from the author, and all the experience she has gathered from her work with young women. This book belongs in every parent's librar
...more
Karen
This book is good but not great ... although maybe it would be great for someone for whom this material is new. Since I teach in a girls' high school, a lot of Simmons's work was going over old ground for me, although she did it engagingly. Be warned that the major emphasis here is on high achieving, middle and upper class girls, especially in the Northeast. For my purposes, that's fine -- that's who and where I teach! -- but her conclusions are not universal. She mentions working class girls an ...more
Melanie Reyes
I wanted to really enjoy this book but while I loved the topic - the delivery was a bit (or a lot!) textbook-ish with too little background story to hold it’s weight. Still - great info and worth the read. “Our teens are growing up a world where stress is the norm and overachieving the goal. They are taught that perfection is attainable because they see it on social media every day. And even when they know that it is engineered, that photos are fixed or that only one side of the story is showing ...more
Cynthia
Apr 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting, 2018-reads
Another phenomenal book by Rachel Simmons. Finished just in time to hear her speak locally tomorrow night!
I feel as though she knows me, knows my daughter, and is speaking directly to us. A bonus for me was that throughout this book she directly referenced and tied examples to "The Confidence Code" which I was reading simultaneously for a book club at work (the timing was purely coincidental). I have highlighted so many phrases, sentences and, in some instances, entire pages to refer back to as
...more
Clinton Hutchings
Very interesting book that discusses teenage and college age young women and their struggles with depression, anxiety, self-esteem, etc. The author has first-hand experience with counseling and that's where most of the book comes from - her advice or experiences with counseling this group. A lot of the book didn't seem new or too insightful, but those parts were nonetheless a welcome reminder/refresher.
Denise Croker
Aug 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This would be a good book to keep on hand and look at throughout the school year. I especially appreciated the chapters on girls' overthinking/ruminating, self-criticism, and the "cult of effortless perfection." One of the final chapters challenges adults to think about how they model healthy or unhealthy behaviors, and it provides an effective reality check for all of us who work with girls, parent girls, or both! Highly recommend.
Sara
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book! Some of the advice I can apply to my approach and language with my daughters immediately. And frankly, some of it I first need to apply directly to myself and the ways I think about my own success and self image. And THEN I will be able to model it effectively for them. Completely worth the time, and I will highly recommend to all the women in my life, and especially to the mothers of daughters.
Elizabeth
This book was powerful and gave me a lot to think about as a woman and a mother of 3 daughters. My oldest is entering the tween years and I've already seen her confront a lot of the issues in this book.

Some parts were heartbreaking and I hope I'm able to use the information and ideas to treat myself and daughters with more compassion and balance as we face so many conflicting messages about success and femininity.
Katy Emanuel
Sep 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Great book giving insight into how girls minds work and ways in which to help them through the emotions and decisions and help them to not fall into some of the patterns that children tend to be pushed into these days. The patterns children can be pushed into are not done intentionally but the book helps one realize that the words they choose or the messages we may be giving to our children without realizing.
A.
Apr 09, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting-baby
Ugh. This was hard to read: as an adult woman who recognizes behaviors alive and well in other adult women she knows (including herself); and as a parent, who has young, sweet, happy girls who will increasingly deal with the realities and pressures laid out in sad, depressing detail here.

But I'm glad I read it. When it comes to empowering women and girls, I'll take all the arsenal I can get.
« previous 1 3 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
  • Square Peg: My Story and What It Means for Raising Innovators, Visionaries, and Out-of-the-Box Thinkers
  • The Organized Student: Teaching Children the Skills for Success in School and Beyond
  • Rad Dad: Dispatches from the Frontiers of Fatherhood
  • So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood, and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids
  • The Maternal Is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood and Social Change
  • The Case For Make Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World
  • A Girl Stands at the Door: The Generation of Young Women Who Desegregated America's Schools
  • Who Owns the Learning? Preparing Students for Success in the Digital Age
  • No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls
  • Waiting in the Wings: Portrait of a Queer Motherhood
  • The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
  • iRules: What Every Tech-Healthy Family Needs to Know about Selfies, Sexting, Gaming, and Growing Up
  • Talking Back to Facebook: The Common Sense Guide to Raising Kids in the Digital Age
  • Act Natural: A Cultural History of Misadventures in Parenting
  • Sybil Ludington: Revolutionary War Rider
  • Middle School: The Inside Story: What Kids Tell Us, But Don't Tell You
  • Grading Smarter, Not Harder: Assessment Strategies That Motivate Kids and Help Them Learn
See similar books…
“Adolescents, especially girls, are most resilient when they are connected to others.” 0 likes
“Although it may seem obvious to you, your daughter needs to hear you say that no one can sanely excel at everything they do, nor should they want to. Will a life in which she does everything perfectly be a happy and healthy life for her? Focus on what is sacrificed on the altar of perfection-seeking: Self-worth. Curiosity and exploration. Hobbies. Sleep. Challenge the standards being imposed on her. Let her know you reject them.” 0 likes
More quotes…