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Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage-and Let Go of-Your 13-18 Year Olds

3.78  ·  Rating details ·  111 ratings  ·  21 reviews
Living with a teenager is no picnic. There are times when parents must bite their tongue as their teens push towards independence. Or -- if they sense there is trouble -- there are times when they must take charge. Dr. Phelan gives a step-by-step approach that will help end the hassles and offer concrete solutions.
Paperback, 176 pages
Published January 1st 1998 by Parentmagic, Inc. (first published 1993)
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 ·  111 ratings  ·  21 reviews

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Jun 23, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book was a great reminder of how I SHOULD be interacting with my teens. It starts off by reminding us that teens have very mixed feelings about life's assignments. First, they are not sure they can happily live up to all life's challenges and second, they aren't sure they want to accept all of life's tasks. But research has repeatedly confirmed that teens do better in this section of their lives when parents a)maintain some type of behavioral monitoring and b)maintain as open and as friendl ...more
May 05, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
i will recommend this to almost every parent of a teen. Totally helpful.
Jun 05, 2018 rated it liked it
Feeling the need to learn how to better parent my teens, I grabbed this book at my local public library. It looked like an easy read, and it was that. It was also a helpful read, setting me straight as to the proper expectations for my teenagers. This book is helpful to parents of teenagers, especially those like me who tend to err on the side of being over-controlling. I heartily recommend this quick and edifying read.
Sep 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was a good guide to help me deal with being a parent to a teen. Too bad I picked up a version that was published in 1998! So it was a little dated, but the basic advice it gave was useful. The difficulty with practicing what the book teaches is that it relies on the parents to stay calm and ignore most normal annoying teen behavior, especially arguing.
Dec 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
I very much appreciated how practical this book was. It allowed and encouraged me to exhale by normalizing adolescent behaviors and highlighting the developmental appropriateness of many of these behaviors and interactions.
Jun 21, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Slightly outdated, but still had some useful insights and suggestions.
Jenn Majewski
Jan 31, 2019 rated it really liked it
Not too helpful for my situation, but a good reminder to parents on how to deal with “the snub” and well written.
Jeneece Western
Oct 17, 2019 rated it liked it
There were useful tips. The age is just hard and how you deal with the adolescents is most of the battle so the insights to make sure you are doing it right are good.
Wayne Walker
Aug 28, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are currently the parents of teenagers or even of pre-teens, do you think that you’ll be able to survive their adolescence? One of the basic problems which develop between parents and their teens is what author Thomas W. Phelan calls “The Snub.” Have you ever had a conversation with your teen like this? “How was your day?” “Fine.” “What did you do?” “Nothin’.” As a result of this, the parents become frustrated because the teen is not communicating with them, and the teen becomes frustrate ...more
Kimz Zahour
Oct 05, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: All parents of teens... keep an open mind.
Shelves: nonfiction
Wow this book is WAY different then I thought it would be! I thought it would give advice about all the stupid stuff that teenagers do and how to handle it... But no, it basically points out all the stupid stuff parents do when dealing with their teenagers (with about that much tact). It's laced with just enough humor to keep you from being completely offended and unwilling to look at the hard facts... what you're doing isn't working! This is tough love for parents. My favorite quote shows that ...more
Mar 18, 2009 rated it really liked it
This is an intelligently written book that offers great insights into adolescent behavior and suggestions on how to handle issues such as arguments and "testing." The author cautions parents of teens not to get too worked up about what he terms "MBA"s, minor but aggravating issues, such as a bad grade, messy room, provocative appearance. He cautions against the "Four Cardinal Sins"--Spontaneous Problem Solving, Nagging, Insight Transplants and Arguing. Most helpful, perhaps, was his scale of par ...more
Deborah Day
Jul 17, 2012 rated it liked it
Good follow-up to his 1-2-3 Magic book for ages 2-12. This book offers simple to understand ideas on how to deal with your changing teenager. If the tools are used, it can help parents not get caught up in a power struggle with their teenager. Helps parents to understand the old and new challenges faces the teens of today. Video version available.
jb tomkinson
Jan 02, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
When you become a parent, you sometimes forgot how it is to be a teen. This book will help you refresh your memory, appreciate your teen, and suggests ways to maintain a positive relationship with them.
Gayle Johnson
Dec 06, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Read this before you have a teen. Let go of your illusions of control. Give your child the gift of respect. Expect respect in return. I highly recommend this book. My son (now 19) still remarks about his drama-free relationship with me.
Jul 16, 2014 rated it really liked it
Defn the best teen book I've read so far. Real life samples, comic strip conversations. Very helpful.
Mar 19, 2010 added it
this book made me laugh from the first chapter when the author talked about her whole house smelling like axe.
Maria Quinn
Aug 10, 2015 rated it liked it
A good book to read and repeat when the going gets though...a bit old fashioned as social media and mobile phones aren't addressed enough.
Jennifer Brothers
Oct 19, 2014 rated it really liked it
Very helpful
Jul 30, 2016 rated it really liked it
Same author of 123-magic which I found effective in parenting younger kids. Very common sense strategies outlined here with some humor to boot in the presentation.
Jun 25, 2010 rated it really liked it
Good book, practical
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