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224 pages, Hardcover
Published April 24, 2018
“But Nathan is the whole reason this happened,” I protested. “No, he’s not. You can’t blame other people for the things that you do. You are the reason. You lost your temper. You lost control. Because of that, you made a bad decision. Now you are going to apologize, and you better mean it.
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“Are all emotions bad?” “No! Not at all. Emotions are good. They make you who you are. They allow you to feel. Happiness and gratitude are good. Joy and excitement are good. Love is a good emotion. So is satisfaction—when you feel like you have accomplished something. Those are all good emotions, but even good emotions need to be controlled. You already know it isn’t smart to celebrate with joy before you actually accomplish a goal. Even emotions you might think are bad aren’t bad—emotions like anger, fear, and frustration. They also make you who you are. But you have to learn how to make sure those emotions don’t get out of control. Because, as a warrior, those emotions can cause you to make mistakes or bad decisions, and in war, bad decisions can cost lives. So warriors have to keep their emotions under control.”
“You might think it was funny if you didn’t take it so seriously. Think about it. Your face is a little roundish. And a little flat. Like a plate. So ‘Plate Face.’ If you just let it be funny, you would see that it is funny. But you are being too sensitive about it. A warrior can’t let a little name-calling upset them. Warriors have more important things to be concerned about—things that matter. Someone making fun of you or calling you a name isn’t important enough. Just deal with it and move on.” “Okay, but it annoys me. How do I ‘just deal with it’?” “That’s the easy part. You just laugh. Laugh! Laugh along with the joke.
I’m proud of you Marc. Because that’s what warriors do. Warriors lead.
“Ummm, actually, Uncle Jake, I think you would be AWESOME if you gave me the money I need to get this bike all fixed up!” Uncle Jake shook his head. “That’s what a lot of people would think. But they would be wrong. It’s like I told you the other day: If I just give you the money, then you wouldn’t have earned it. It wouldn’t mean anything to you. You wouldn’t understand the hard work and time it takes to earn that money. Then you won’t appreciate what you do with the money, and you won’t think you need to take care of the things you buy with your money. That’s why you are going to get a job.”
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“Yes. Earn it. You see, you don’t even really understand what that means. As a kid, your parents pretty much give you everything. Your food. Your clothes. Your bed. The roof over your head. Even this rusty bike right here. And when you are given things for free, you don’t appreciate their value—what they’re worth. You don’t appreciate that someone worked hard to get the money to buy you that bike. When you don’t appreciate something, you don’t take care of it. That’s what happened with this bike here. Right?”
“I want you to remember this feeling. It’s a great feeling, the feeling of having worked hard and gotten something done. But sometimes we forget how good it feels. So we don’t do what we should. This is the same as how Discipline Equals Freedom. The discipline is the hard work. The freedom is the freedom to buy what you want because you have worked for the money. It is the freedom to ride a bike instead of walking. The freedom is also that feeling, that good feeling of accomplishment. It’s freedom from feeling that you wasted time. Does that make sense?” “It does, Uncle Jake. Just like the discipline of studying and working out and training jiu-jitsu gave me freedom, the discipline of working hard for what I want also gives me freedom. And, of course, the freedom feels good.” “That’s the feeling I want you to remember—the feeling of freedom and accomplishment—especially when you have hard work ahead of you. Will you remember that feeling?” “Yes, Uncle Jake. I will,” I told him. And I meant it.
“I want you to be scared of losing. I want you to be really scared of losing. Why? Because fear will make you train harder. Fear will make you work harder. Fear will make you prepare more. And when you do all those things, your chances of success go up.” “But I can still lose,” I told him. “Not really. You only really lose if you don’t try, if you let your fear keep you from even getting in the game or on the mat. That is how you lose. But if you get out there and do your best, you will either win, or you will learn. Either way, it is good for you.”
Warriors don’t always just do what they want to do. They don’t stay in a nice, comfortable world. They push themselves to be uncomfortable. That is how warriors make themselves better. You should do the same thing. Push yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
“If I help you, I’m hurting you,” he said, staring right at me. “What?” “I said, ‘If I help you, I’m hurting you.’” “I heard what you said, Uncle Jake. But what does that even mean? How can you be hurting me if you help me?” This idea seemed kind of crazy to me! But it wasn’t crazy to Uncle Jake, and I could see it in his eyes. “Here’s the thing, Marc. One of the best ways for people to learn is by doing. If I were to jump in and put the bike back together myself, you wouldn’t learn anything. If you don’t learn, what is the point? That’s why I always want you to do things yourself—so you can learn to be self-sufficient. So you don’t need help. Of course, there are some things that you will need help with in life, and putting this bike together right now is one of them. Sometimes someone needs to show you how to do things and guide you through them. But whenever you can, try to do them yourself so you learn.
I was supposed to work on my bike for at least thirty minutes every day—no matter what. But I thought today must be different since I had already worked for almost six hours—plus my morning workout. It had been a LONG DAY. So I figured I would just explain to Uncle Jake that I was tired and he would understand. “Well, since I have been working all day, I figured maybe I could take a break from working on the bike.” I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER! “That’s not how things work. That’s not what warriors do. When warriors commit to a job, they do it. What you are doing is called procrastination. Putting things off. Saying that you will do things later. That doesn’t work. When a warrior has something to do, they do it and do it right away.”
“I’m bored, Uncle Jake.” “Bored? How can you be bored? You’re busy all day.” “That’s the tricky thing. I know I’m busy all day with working out and mowing lawns and fixing my bike and going to summer camp and doing jiu-jitsu. But even with all that stuff going on, I still feel kind of bored. And I feel like I’ve done what I’ve wanted to do, so other than focusing on my jiu-jitsu tournament, I just feel, like … I don’t know … bored.” Uncle Jake looks at me for a few seconds and then said, “Good.” That is what he always seemed to say when something was wrong. “Good?” I asked. “How is that good?” “Well, first of all, being bored means you’re comfortable with what you have going on in your life. It is good for a few reasons. Number one, it means you have accomplished your goals. That means you have achieved what you wanted to achieve. You have a bike. You have made some money. You are making steady gains in your workouts and getting stronger. So that means you can set some new goals,
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But the most important thing about being bored is that you have the capacity—and by that I mean the time, the money, the knowledge, and the willingness—to help other people. To help someone else.
“No, Uncle Jake. No, I didn’t have a good day.” “Why not?” “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t do much. I mean, I did some stuff, but … you know, it was just kind of … just kind of…” “Lazy. You had a lazy day,” Uncle Jake said. He knew it! “Yes, Uncle Jake. It was lazy. I thought I needed it. I thought it would feel good!” “Of course you did. Lazy days always feel good when you start them. But the problem comes when they are done. When they are done, they never feel good. You never look back at a lazy day and say, ‘I’m glad that I didn’t do anything today! I’m glad I didn’t make any progress! I’m glad I didn’t accomplish anything!’ No. Why would you say that? It would never be true. But lazy days are tempting when you are facing the hard work, before you have started. Or when you are tired and you want that easy day. Once it’s done, the lazy day never feels good.” Uncle Jake was right again. Even though it seemed like I needed it and it seemed like it would feel good, the fact of the matter is that, at the end of the day, it didn’t feel good. I accomplished nothing today. And the worst part was that I didn’t even feel refreshed! I actually felt just as tired, if not MORE TIRED, from sitting around all day than I would have felt if I’d gone after it!
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“You learned. You learned that laziness is never the right path. And that is a good lesson, because you can’t get a lazy day back. They are gone forever. Don’t ever forget that, Marc.”
Do you realize that we might have to spend some of that money to help Nathan? Are you okay with that?” This was a tough question. Uncle Jake continued, “Before you answer that, understand that we are going to start by making sure you have money. That means taking twenty percent of what you’ve earned and putting it into savings. And that isn’t just for now—that is always. You should always save twenty percent of your money. Then if there are other things you really need, you can buy those as well. And you should also know this: One of the few things in the world that feels better than earning money is earning money and then putting it toward a good cause to help someone else.
This book is aimed at a younger audience, yet I really enjoyed reading it. It is easy to read and well-illustrated.
Initially, I got this book for my 7-year-old son, but now I am getting my 11-year-old son to read it ad well (he loves riding bikes, so the lessons around bikes were spot-on applicable for him). I am already thinking about modifying the lessons for Warrior Girls - I definitely have one such girl at home; she is a stronger warrior than the other two boys combined.
I also highly recommended it to my wife as there are lessons to be learned for leaders (read "parents").
Now I am considering looking into more books by Jocko.
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The Warrior Kid Code
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1. The Warrior Kid wakes up early in the morning.
2. The Warrior Kid studies to learn and gain knowledge and asks questions if he doesn't understand.
3. The Warrior Kid trains hard, exercises, and eats right to be strong and fast and healthy.
4. The Warrior Kid trains to know how to fight so he can stand up to bullies to protect the weal.
5. The Warrior Kid treats people with respect and helps out other people whenever possible.
6. The Warrior Kid keeps things neat and is always prepared and ready for action.
7. The Warrior Kid stays humble.
8. The Warrior Kid works hard and always does his best.
9. I am the Warrior Kid, and I am a leader.