The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers

by Terry Gould

" The Lifestyle is a delight to read - a groundbreaking and honest work of journalism that thoroughly explains why millions of people are part of this little-known subculture called 'swinging ' Indeed, Mr Gould has accomplished something his extensive research into the anthropology and sociobiology of spouse exchange has allowed him to broaden his descriptions of swing parties to include deeply significant explanations for what takes place at them Few journalists have gained permission to enter that world, and none have explained it in such depth 'The Lifestyle' is an entertaining, on-the-scene narrative, but it is also a serious work which should be read by all who want to understand what this growing phenomenon is all about "
- Josef P Skala, m d , ph d , frcp(c), Professor Emeritus, Faculty of Medicine, University of British Columbia "It is clearly the most objective and well-researched work on the subject we have seen "
- a swinging couple interviewed for EXTRA The lifestyle has grown so quickly in recent years that, wherever you live, you won't have trouble finding it It is not an underground movement or a cult It is a public, grass-roots, heterosexual orientation among mainstream couples who claim to have overcome the kind of loneliness, jealousy, and shame adulterous marrieds endure
(from The Lifestyle ) ) "I hate when jerks call the lifestyle wife swapping," Jim averred "I hate that term and what it implies By that I mean a woman being forced into something because her husband says, 'Look honey, let's go ' To me that's abuse That's opposite to what the lifestyle is all about "
(from The Lifestyle ) What are millions of middle-class couples getting up to this weekend? Is it possible to experience sex with other partners while happily ensconced in an emotionally monogamous marriage? Is swinging merely an invention of sexually permissive modern times? As award-winning journalist Terry Gould discovered, the phenomenon has roots that go back thousands of years and also seems to be motivated by a deeper biological the drive to seek long-term partners and the equally powerful drive for sexual and genetic variety Part expose and certainly a debunking of the 'wife-swapping' myth, The Lifestyle is a serious examination of a taboo subject, brought forward intelligently, compassionately, without sensationalism or judgment, and backed by extensive research across North America It includes numerous interviews with the originators and leaders of the Lifestyle movement It is also a wide - ranging inquiry into the history and nature of monogamy, sexuality and erotic love

Genres: Sexuality, Nonfiction

392 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Lisa]

This book was like a roommate I had in college. Whenever she walked in, fun ran screaming in the other direction. At least it felt like that. Prurient anticipation aside, any fun I thought I'd have reading this book withered and died the second I opened its pages and read the first few sentences.

Terry Gould takes what should be a juicy subject, then analyzes, researches, validates, and chronicles, leaving a Sahara-dry husk gently blown across the courtyard by a summer breeze. And someone drank the last beer.

Swinging is alive and well thanks to the internet; this book is hopelessly dated and awfully dull.

[Robin]

This is a nice, reasonably comprehensive overview of the culture of swinging. He does a good, solid job of giving an overview of the swinging culture and delving into some of the evolutionary arguments for it - basically making a case that there are good biological reasons why swinging makes sense.

And yet, it bored me. It read like a term paper for a Sociology class. Maybe I just read too much, but I didn't find anything new in this book. It's possible I'm not the audience for this book - maybe someone just learning about swinging would find it interesting.

I admit, I tend to have a little bit of a bias against swinging culture, so perhaps that colored my experience as well.

[Bradley]

For a book about swingers, this book gets boring in some places. But, if you're an open minded person, it's a fascinating look at the swinging lifestyle.

[Dennis Lester]

Great book. I bought a copy signed by the author and thought that was cool but then read the book and discovered a lot of great info. To anyone that is interested in swinging or poly type relationships this is worth the read.

[Jason]

"What we are about, is liberty!"

[Pirate]

A fascinating look at what responsible non-monogamy among committed relationships looks like. How do long term couples negotiate commitment and jealousy while having outside sexual partners? Where did this lifestyle evolve?

A fascinating, educational look at how some people deal with respecting the human sexual urge as well as emotional commitments?

Highly Recommended. This isn’t about porn and erotica, it’s about relationships and sociology.