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The Going and Goodbye: A Memoir

4.60  ·  Rating details ·  45 ratings  ·  19 reviews
The Going and Goodbye is an examination of loss and leaving and the search for meaning in the memories that remain. Tracing a path through rural Ohio, the American south and small towns of Mexico, these stories breathe life into a marriage and its dissolution; find a voice that fears mortality then faces it; explore faith in the face of these losses; and ultimately reveal ...more
Paperback, First, 192 pages
Published June 30th 2017 by Platypus Press (first published June 17th 2017)
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4.60  · 
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 ·  45 ratings  ·  19 reviews

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Pam Van Dyk Writes
Jul 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Like a story, love has an arc of maturity. To love, to lose, and to love again is one of life's journeys and it requires us to peel back our protective layers, to be brave, to make ourselves vulnerable. Cawood's memoir, THE GOING AND GOODBYE shows us how this is done. When reading her essays, we are forced to examine our own relationships, past and present, in an effort to not only connect with those we love or have loved, but, in a deeper way, connect with ourselves.

There were moments as I rea
Courtney LeBlanc
Jul 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I absolutely loved this book - I read it in one day! If you like poetry, read this book for it is poetic and lyrical. If you've ever experience love and loss, hope and heartbreak, grief and pain and pushing through to find something else on the other side, then READ THIS BOOK. A moving and eloquent memoir about love, divorce, happiness, loneliness, and the lies we convince ourselves of. Without a doubt Cawood is an author I will look for in the future.
Jul 04, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shuly's lyrical prose pulls the reader into the story and doesn't let go. As a reader I followed her on her search for finding what it means to love and be loved. Her vivid imagery keeps the reader firmly grounded in time and place throughout the journey.
Jun 28, 2017 rated it really liked it
A beautiful memoir of love, loss, and moving on carrying all the memories of the past journey.
The writing style is so fluid.. The prologue took me in and I ended up reading it again after I finished the story.
This passage from the prologue summed up this memoir beautifully:
"The ride threw us up, up, and down, down and our bucket spun so fast we slid into each other, smashed skin to skin and the fair and everything we could see blurred and washed together in an uneasy glimpse, again, again and
Robert M
Jul 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I'm friends with the author, but honestly, this is one of the best books I've read this year. And if you don't believe me, I'm willing to have a fist fight over my objective opinion. I've never married or divorced, but I've broken-up and gone contra dancing. While someone once said that one person's pain echoes another, this was a fun read. I read it on a plane to the West Coast, and I read it on the way back to the East. Then, after jet-lag, I read it at home and finished last night after midni ...more
Chris Wolak
Sep 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shuly Cawood is the life-long friend of my friend, Emily, which is how I came to read this book.

Part of me approached the reading with trepidation. If you’ve never read a book by a friend or the friend of a friend, it can be a bit dicey. What if the book puts you to sleep or is an absolute trainwreck? What do you say to your friend when they asked how you liked it, particularly if you want to have an authentic relationship with that friend? I repeat: DI-CEY.

Any fears I had were quickly put to re
Carla Sameth
Jul 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I just finished The Going and Goodbye. It is lovely, delicious, dreamy and rich, grabs your heart and interest and doesn’t let you go until you finish. With a little bit of a letdown, because it’s over. But her readers will be comforted in knowing that there will be more from this talented writer. Cawood's roots as poet are evident in the quality and texture of the prose: writing that is self-assured, at times serene, others troubled and always stirring. Bravo! A stellar first book and a memoir ...more
D. Hardy
Mar 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A beautifully-written memoir about love, loss, and the price we pay for them. Shuly Cawood paints an intimate portrait of her life through prose that reads closer to poetry at times, so moving in its sincerity that it's nearly impossible to stop reading this book. At the end I found myself wishing it was a hundred pages longer, having the feeling I had just said goodbye to a dear friend I may never see again. Simply remarkable.
Jul 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Couldn't put it down

I picked this book up this evening thinking I would read 1 or at the most 2 chapters before bed. I just finished it. Shuly Cawood shares deep parts of herself, and relays her experiences in a way that causes me to recall similar experiences of my own. Her descriptive style of writing drew me into the places and situations she describes as if I were there. Most of all, Shuly is courageous in allowing her vulnerability to be seen in this book. This would be an excellent book fo
Erika Wood-Heidemann
Jul 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Memoir is tricky. I'm always impressed when the author can pull it off. Shuly Cawood has managed to weave a very compelling story out of her life experiences thus far, in an articulate, honest, relatable, and yet profound way. She takes every day occurrences and life-changing events/decisions both, and navigates through them on the page in a way that is so fresh and yet familiar and extremely comforting. Her abilities with description really shine. The level of depth and sensitivity connected me ...more
Jul 12, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: books-i-own
I went into this book expecting it to be something it was not, at least not entirely. But that is not a criticism, just a fact of the matter. I started this book expecting it to be more of a salve than it was meant to be; I wanted to be healed and told how to handle loss and grief. But this book is a memoir, not a manual or a bandage, and so that was my mistake. Some of Cawood's experiences recounted in these pages were nearly impossible for me to relate to. They felt closed off, not through any ...more
Jul 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is the best in language, memory, wisdom, feeling, and beauty. A stunning narrative of love, loss, and growth -- so hard to put down! Look for future titles by this author and devour every one.
Scott Walden
Jun 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This is an excellent book, with beautiful writing that takes your heart on a journey, with plenty of highs and lows but there is much for all of us to learn...about love and life, heartbreak and death, losing your way and ultimately finding it.
Preston McKee
Jul 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
A beautiful piece of writing.
Aug 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

I could not put this book down. The writer has a marvelous way of describing her personal journey. Looking forward to reading more from her in the future.
Karen Furlong
Jun 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed the book & thought it was well written. I did find it sad though because it seems like the author is still very much in love with her ex husband. So much of the book is about their relationship.
Tina Neyer
Jul 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
The Going and Goodbye captivated my attention from start to finish. Someone close to me is in crisis over a relationship and after reading this book, I immediately got the book to this person, knowing that the author's insights could be very helpful to my friend. Shuly Cawood captures the power and devastation of modern-day relationships in a lyrical and passionate way.
Mark Trollinger
Jul 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
The book is amazing and I highly recommend it. Shuly has a mastery of words that draws the reader in and gives an endearing, descriptive rendering of the scene that made me feel as though I were right there watching it unfold before me. I am not one that visualizes well when reading but she painted a picture of her wins and losses, her passions and doubts, her journey into new adventures and retreat to the familiarity of home in a way that not only allowed me to vividly see her experiences, but ...more
Michelle McAdams
Aug 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This gem of a book is as intimate as it is universal. From its poetic, lyrical language to its rich descriptions, THE GOING AND GOODBYE takes the reader on a journey of love, loss and healing, all the while feeling like a deep conversation with an old friend. I loved this book and can't wait to read it again and again.
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Shuly Xóchitl Cawood is the author of the memoir, The Going and Goodbye (Platypus Press, 2017), 52 Things I Wish I Could Have Told Myself When I was 17 (Cimarron Books, 2018), and the forthcoming short story collection, A Small Thing to Want (Press 53, 2020). She has an MFA from Queens University, and her writing has been published in Brevity, The Rumpus, Zone 3, Fiction Southeast, and Cider Press ...more
“There is a cost to loving anything, or anyone. No one tells you that when you are young.” 1 likes
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