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Midlife Crisis
Cam McGhee grew up like any other small-town Texas farm he played football, went to church every Sunday, and married his high school sweetheart. But thirty-five years after he said "I do," Cam finds himself nursing a beer in a gay bar, thinking about what might have been. Dave Montoya is confident, self-assured, and cautiously single. But when he meets shy, uncertain, and clearly-still-not-out Cam in a coffee shop in Austin, his reservations about getting seriously involved again disappear. Cam is everything he’s looking for in a partner . . . almost, anyway. No matter how much Dave wants him, and how good they are together, Cam can't bring himself to openly embrace the life he was meant to live. After all, when his secret finally gets out, he faces the very real possibility of losing everything that kept him going for the first fifty years of his life, just like he’s feared for so long. But with a little faith—and a lot of love—his dream of living fully, truly, as himself might finally be within reach.
202 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 28, 2017
About the author
Audra North
38 books296 followersAudra North is a contemporary romance author of more than twenty romances, including the Stanton Family series from Entangled Publishing, the Hard Driving series from St. Martin’s Press, and the Pushing the Boundaries series from Samhain Publishing. She is the owner and publisher of Pink Kayak Press, which focuses on the publication of diverse romance works. Winter Rain, a Pink Kayak Press anthology, won a gold medal in the 2015 Independent Publisher Awards.
Audra enjoys speaking to writing groups and at industry conferences. She is also an avid jogger and loves running marathons. She has three children and lives with her family outside of Boston.
For more about Audra, and to sign up for her newsletter, visit audranorth.com.
Audra enjoys speaking to writing groups and at industry conferences. She is also an avid jogger and loves running marathons. She has three children and lives with her family outside of Boston.
For more about Audra, and to sign up for her newsletter, visit audranorth.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
August 22, 2017
*2.5 stars*
This is the kind of book that I feel guilty for not liking more. I mean, it's a sweet coming out story. Very... nice. Nice. That's the best way I can describe it.
I was really drawn to Midlife Crisis because of the older MCs (both in their 50s) and the fact that one of the MCs is finally able to act on his sexuality now that his wife of many years has passed away. I love first time gay experience stories (a weakness of mine!), and so I was pretty sure this one would be a hit.
My main issue with this book was that it was sooooo very slow. Like I felt like the characters were moving through molasses. It was just this careful slowness that made the book feel like it was double the length that it really was. Just because the characters are older doesn't mean that the book has to feel timid and kind of dull.
Cam's "aw-shucks" shyness was cute and endearing, but I felt like it became kind of gimmicky over time. I wanted just a little more umph out of him. I also felt like Dave was a throwaway character. They were okay together, but I didn't get where the intensity of their feelings was coming from.
I didn't love the way the story felt rushed towards the end, and I really didn't like the flashbacks all throughout. There are many, many flashbacks of Cam and his wife before she passed away, and I felt like that detracted from the romance between Cam and Dave. I know that the author wanted the reader to have some backstory about Cam and his wife's relationship, but it was a bit overkill for me.
I was interested in the town and environment that Cam grew up in. I honestly didn't know that historic African-American municipalities existed (granted, history isn't my thing), and I wanted to know more. I actually googled the town in the story (it doesn't exist, BTW), because I wanted to learn more about it.
Overall, I think many readers will enjoy this one because they (like me) want to hear about people finding their true happiness and true self after years of denial. However, I just wanted something a little different and a little more than what I got. Midlife Crisis was a perfectly fine story, but it just never rose above "okay" for me.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
This is the kind of book that I feel guilty for not liking more. I mean, it's a sweet coming out story. Very... nice. Nice. That's the best way I can describe it.
I was really drawn to Midlife Crisis because of the older MCs (both in their 50s) and the fact that one of the MCs is finally able to act on his sexuality now that his wife of many years has passed away. I love first time gay experience stories (a weakness of mine!), and so I was pretty sure this one would be a hit.
My main issue with this book was that it was sooooo very slow. Like I felt like the characters were moving through molasses. It was just this careful slowness that made the book feel like it was double the length that it really was. Just because the characters are older doesn't mean that the book has to feel timid and kind of dull.
Cam's "aw-shucks" shyness was cute and endearing, but I felt like it became kind of gimmicky over time. I wanted just a little more umph out of him. I also felt like Dave was a throwaway character. They were okay together, but I didn't get where the intensity of their feelings was coming from.
I didn't love the way the story felt rushed towards the end, and I really didn't like the flashbacks all throughout. There are many, many flashbacks of Cam and his wife before she passed away, and I felt like that detracted from the romance between Cam and Dave. I know that the author wanted the reader to have some backstory about Cam and his wife's relationship, but it was a bit overkill for me.
I was interested in the town and environment that Cam grew up in. I honestly didn't know that historic African-American municipalities existed (granted, history isn't my thing), and I wanted to know more. I actually googled the town in the story (it doesn't exist, BTW), because I wanted to learn more about it.
Overall, I think many readers will enjoy this one because they (like me) want to hear about people finding their true happiness and true self after years of denial. However, I just wanted something a little different and a little more than what I got. Midlife Crisis was a perfectly fine story, but it just never rose above "okay" for me.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
December 30, 2019
Man. Black. Cam. Father. Gay. Widower. Businessman. Explorer. Afraid.
Cam McGhee is a hard-working family man from the small rural farming community of Bitter, Texas. He and his wife LaVerne "assumed they were both destined to live unremarkable lives in Bitter, because that’s what they’d both been raised to know." Cam loved LaVerne ("not the way a lover would have, or the way a husband should have, but he loved her deeply, just the same") and their two children, and helped her achieve her dream of getting a college degree. Now, after her death from sickle cell anemia following 35 years of marriage, Cam is finally going to act on feelings and desires he has suppressed for years.
Cam meets Dave Montoya in an Austin, Texas coffee shop while taking a few months break from Bitter while his son manages his feed and grain business. Cam's story is interspersed with his past - his marriage, the birth of his children, his business - and North really captures Cam's despair at expectations over which he had little control, at a life that "had been strangely devoid of choices":
I received an ARC from Riptide Publishing, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
Visit my new blog, Sinfully Good Gay Book Reviews
Cam McGhee is a hard-working family man from the small rural farming community of Bitter, Texas. He and his wife LaVerne "assumed they were both destined to live unremarkable lives in Bitter, because that’s what they’d both been raised to know." Cam loved LaVerne ("not the way a lover would have, or the way a husband should have, but he loved her deeply, just the same") and their two children, and helped her achieve her dream of getting a college degree. Now, after her death from sickle cell anemia following 35 years of marriage, Cam is finally going to act on feelings and desires he has suppressed for years.
Cam meets Dave Montoya in an Austin, Texas coffee shop while taking a few months break from Bitter while his son manages his feed and grain business. Cam's story is interspersed with his past - his marriage, the birth of his children, his business - and North really captures Cam's despair at expectations over which he had little control, at a life that "had been strangely devoid of choices":
They would graduate in another week and be married less than two weeks after that. ...] He was walking home on a Thursday afternoon, trudging down the sun-baked dirt road leading out of the high school, when the reality hit him.What follows is a beautifully told story of two men - fifty-four and mid-forties - who get a second chance at love and life. I really enjoyed this story of love, of choices, of forgiveness. 4.5 stars for Midlife Crisis.
This was the rest of his life.
I received an ARC from Riptide Publishing, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
Visit my new blog, Sinfully Good Gay Book Reviews
August 24, 2017
I received this book for free from in exchange for an honest review.
This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Well, North certainly surprised me. I've never read anything by her before. After reading this, I saw she is a MF romance writer. I have skeptical feelings about them, but I don't let it cloud too much of my judgment. More surprised at myself for finishing it. This was not only a slow burn, but the pacing was snail at best. I didn't find myself bored so I guess its a win for me. Its very detailed, and everything is written in a way that molasses pours faster. I was really drawn to it because of the older mc's. They are in their 50's well off, and established wanting different things in their lives. North's writing was real, emotional, and such a sweet romance. It doesn't focus on the physical side but more emotional. Cam was such a character that touched my spirit. I teared up at plenty of the hard facts that he had to face. Dave is such a sweetheart. Super understanding to the cause and patient.
Cam's character made my feelings come out through this story. I don't know what was happening at the time of my reading it, but he resonated so much to me. Maybe its because he's a black man, and all his loyalties, duties, and reservations about his family is so common in the community, even more in the south. My family is from the south, so I could understand all his thoughts, dreams, fears, hurt when it came to being happy. Or lack thereof in his case. He sacrificed his happiness for the community, the way of life in Bitter, Texas. He was a drowning man, until his wife died. It was heartbreaking and I know it was emotional because it kept an egg shape size of despair in my throat. He tried to do right by what was expected of him, he tried to be the best father, and husband he could be. It only took 51 years of living to realize that he wanted something for himself. In walks Dave, in his biker workout clothes, and friends. With his smile, easy on the eyes, and friendly manner its no wonder Cam falls for him. Its not an easy romance. While Cam does come to terms about being gay, its another to act on it. Its something that he's never thought of. Of course being happy with Dave, does nothing to dis spell all his responsibilities back home or with his children. No matter his orientation, his children are his. Cam shows so much vulnerability with his kids, Dave, and his knitting crew. Dave is trying to get back on the horse as well. Being single for a few years after being in a long term relationship, Dave has reservations about being with someone as closeted as Cam. Its something that he can't help since he's falling just as much as Cam.
I am still kinda shocked at how much I've enjoyed this. I look forward to North writing more gay romance if its going to be real like this. If you like older guys, interracial romance, hurt comfort, out for you, tears, and extremely slow burns then this book is for you. I quite like the pacing, and writing myself. I would recommend this read.
May 9, 2019
What do you do when your life goes in the direction expected, but not the one you wished for? That’s the burning question in this story of finding love in middle age, with a partner who is willing to be your second chance at happiness.
Cam McGhee’s life followed a predictable pattern for a guy from small town Texas. He married a girl from high school, had two children and ran his feed store business day in and day out. He’d known he was gay since he was a teenager, but kept it a secret in his all African-American town, especially when a young man he knew was beaten and ostracized for coming out. Better to be closeted than the alternative. But when Cam’s wife dies from sickle cell anemia after thirty-five years of a steady if not exciting marriage, he knows it’s his chance to venture out from the known and see what happens.
Cam’s first experience in a gay bar is definitely not what he’s looking for, and he wonders if he’s made a mistake coming to Austin for a few months’ break. Then he meets Dave Montoya, a cautiously single, retired, attractive cyclist at a local coffee shop. Dave has experienced his own heartache, breaking up with a partner of fifteen years who had been cheating on him. The quiet, attractive black man who catches Dave’s eye and eventually engages him in conversation clearly isn’t a player on the scene, and his innocence and inexperience are not a turnoff at all. Dave’s ready for their friendship and soon friends with benefits relationship to become something more. Is Cam willing to stand up for what he wants now that he has the chance to have the life he’d always wanted?
What a heartwarming story. It’s quietly endearing, making you care for the characters and for the unique situation Cam finds himself in. With present days scenes interspersed with flashbacks, it’s easy to see how the choices he made as a youth spiraled into a marriage more of convenience than love, and whether or not his wife ever guessed his true feelings, he’ll never know. He comported himself as a faithful husband, a loving father, an exemplary member of his small town society, and a competent businessman.
Even if he dreamed of a different life, he never did anything to jeopardize the one he had. He can admit to himself that his fear of being ostracized for being gay drove his decisions. Even now, he worries over what to do about his business back home, which being taken care of by his son while he’s away. What will his children think if he tells them he’s gay? What will they think of him having a relationship so soon after his wife’s death, and with a man no less? Through all his turmoil Dave is a steady presence, showing his affection and care and giving Cam the space he needs to come to the myriad of decisions that will affect both their lives. Midlife Crisis is a thoughtful, sweet and sexy romance that proves it’s never too late to fall in love and follow your heart.
This review can also be found at All About Romance: https://allaboutromance.com/book-revi...
A copy of this story was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for review.
Cam McGhee’s life followed a predictable pattern for a guy from small town Texas. He married a girl from high school, had two children and ran his feed store business day in and day out. He’d known he was gay since he was a teenager, but kept it a secret in his all African-American town, especially when a young man he knew was beaten and ostracized for coming out. Better to be closeted than the alternative. But when Cam’s wife dies from sickle cell anemia after thirty-five years of a steady if not exciting marriage, he knows it’s his chance to venture out from the known and see what happens.
Cam’s first experience in a gay bar is definitely not what he’s looking for, and he wonders if he’s made a mistake coming to Austin for a few months’ break. Then he meets Dave Montoya, a cautiously single, retired, attractive cyclist at a local coffee shop. Dave has experienced his own heartache, breaking up with a partner of fifteen years who had been cheating on him. The quiet, attractive black man who catches Dave’s eye and eventually engages him in conversation clearly isn’t a player on the scene, and his innocence and inexperience are not a turnoff at all. Dave’s ready for their friendship and soon friends with benefits relationship to become something more. Is Cam willing to stand up for what he wants now that he has the chance to have the life he’d always wanted?
What a heartwarming story. It’s quietly endearing, making you care for the characters and for the unique situation Cam finds himself in. With present days scenes interspersed with flashbacks, it’s easy to see how the choices he made as a youth spiraled into a marriage more of convenience than love, and whether or not his wife ever guessed his true feelings, he’ll never know. He comported himself as a faithful husband, a loving father, an exemplary member of his small town society, and a competent businessman.
Even if he dreamed of a different life, he never did anything to jeopardize the one he had. He can admit to himself that his fear of being ostracized for being gay drove his decisions. Even now, he worries over what to do about his business back home, which being taken care of by his son while he’s away. What will his children think if he tells them he’s gay? What will they think of him having a relationship so soon after his wife’s death, and with a man no less? Through all his turmoil Dave is a steady presence, showing his affection and care and giving Cam the space he needs to come to the myriad of decisions that will affect both their lives. Midlife Crisis is a thoughtful, sweet and sexy romance that proves it’s never too late to fall in love and follow your heart.
This review can also be found at All About Romance: https://allaboutromance.com/book-revi...
A copy of this story was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for review.
August 4, 2018
3.5 stars
This was a sweet story about two older MC's. I love that the author chose to make her MC's in their 50's. It was a nice change of pace. This is a coming out story and I liked the way it was handled. I'd never read this author before but will check her out again in the future.
**ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**
This was a sweet story about two older MC's. I love that the author chose to make her MC's in their 50's. It was a nice change of pace. This is a coming out story and I liked the way it was handled. I'd never read this author before but will check her out again in the future.
**ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**
August 30, 2017
Midlife Crisis was a poignant story of one man finally embracing who he really is while on a sabbatical from his “real” life. There were many ups and downs and twists and turns and I appreciated that Ms. North didn’t sugar coat the realities of someone “coming out” at age 53 after 35 years of marriage to a woman, two children, and a small town who would not approve.
All of his life Cameron McGhee did the right thing, a loving son, he put aside the need he felt towards men and married the woman who was his friend and accepted by his family. He “loved” his wife as a friend, and while he knows they made a good life for their children following her death he feels guilty that he wasn’t the time of partner she most likely wanted and needed. With his son home from his time in the Army following college, Cam has taken three months and moved to Austin to finally act on his attraction to men then he will move back home and continue his “normal” life. You’ll I felt so bad for this man who never once acted on his true nature or cheated on his wife during their 35 years of marriage. When he meets Dave Montoya an out and proud gay man, the attraction is undeniable. The more time he spends with Dave and his friends, the more he realizes how much he’s missed in his life.
Dave was the perfect man for Cam as he explores his sexuality for the first time; he is patient, kind, and understanding of Cam’s hang ups.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching the relationship build between Cam and Dave over the course of this book and the pacing of it was perfect for this couple. I love that they took the physical aspect of their attraction at Cam’s pace and that Dave understood what a big deal this was for him.
While I will admit I was a bit disappointed in the actions of some of the characters in this story (and I’m not saying more because I refuse to spoil it for anyone), I could also understand them and was happy to see how things were resolved over time. My one complaint about this book is I wanted more time with Cam and Dave after they figured it all out.
Emotional, intense, and moving, Audra North’s Midlife Crisis was one man’s amazing journey into accepting his true identity and learning that happiness and love is worth the sacrifice.
Review copy provided for a voluntary review.
November 4, 2024
I loved this as a "coming of age" story but was so dang ticked off about Cam's deceased wife I wanted to spit nails. Yes, he's now living his truth and I'm happy for him - but SHE DIES AND GETS HOSED AND WILL NEVER FALL FOR A GUY WHO WORSHIPS THE GROUND SHE WALKS ON AND I WANT TO THROAT PUNCH SOMEBODY NOW.
August 26, 2017
2.5 stars. Review to come.
November 6, 2017
This story story is so sweet! Read the full review on my blog!
June 2, 2018
It was good to read a story about two men who find each other in their fifties. Cam is from a small town and married his high school sweetheart straight out if school, even though he knew was attracted to men. The town of Bitter is all that he has ever known. It is a small town of black Americans and they know how to look out for each other as long as you dont cross any lines.
After 35 years of marriage Cam's wife Laverne dies, leaving him with two adult children and the chance to live an authentic life and be true to himself but this is easier said than done. Now he has the freedom to choose what choices will he make?
Cam moves to Austin for a few months. He needs to take time for himself and recover and figure out who he is going to be in future. He is also hoping to meet a man and experiment and explore his attraction to men even though he knows this won't be easy. Bitter is a deeply conservative town and he also fears his children will reject him if they find out that he is gay.
When Cam meets Dave he realises that he has a chance to be who he really is but he doesn't know if he can come out to his family and he is scared about what this will mean for his business back in the town of Bitter, so he decides to enjoy the time he has even though he wants more.
Dave is cooly confident, highly educated and a sophisticated business man. He is also deeply attracted to Cam. He wants a stable relationship even though he has been hurt in the past and so he decides to explore his attraction to Cam.
Can the two men make a go of it even though Cam has so many issues?
I thought this was a well written story but it wasnt really a favourite with me. I really liked Dave but I found Cam to be really irritating. I could understand the pressure he faced but overall I thought he was just incredibly dithering. Here was his chance to make a new life for himself and to leave the suffocating town of Bitter. Instead of seizing the opportunity for a new life with both hands and running with it, he kept looking back into his old life trying to hold on and worrying about what people in town would say and do if they found out he was gay.
Cam is 55 years old. If you are still worried about what other people think at the age of 55 then you may as well just lie down and give up the ghost because there is simply no help for you.
Anyway, the story is not just about Cam coming out of the closet. He also had to come out in other ways. He had to get a mobile phone. Who doesn't have a mobile phone in the 21st-century? And this is a businessman! That fact alone deeply irritated me. I thought Dave was very patient and loving because basically he took on somebody who wasn't out and who was still living in the 19th century instead of the 21st. Well done Dave!
The story is well written but it keeps flashing back to Cam's life with his wife and I just wasn't interested in those aspects of the story. I am not a great fan of flashbacks in the stories I read and I wasnt interested in Laverne. I'm sure she was a very nice woman. She seemed very caring of her husband and she also seemed to be very progressive because she went to college and she wanted to do things and her illness held her back but she kept pushing. I had to wonder why Cam was so dated when he had such a progressive wife.
All in all I do think this was a nice story and it was romantic and it had people of colour as main characters and you don't get this in a lot of mm books. Kudos to the author. I did enjoy this story in some ways but I do hope that Cam arrives in the 21st century and knows how to use a mobile phone and perhaps an iPad and a few apps. With Dave by his side I am sure this will happen!
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review - Many thanks.
After 35 years of marriage Cam's wife Laverne dies, leaving him with two adult children and the chance to live an authentic life and be true to himself but this is easier said than done. Now he has the freedom to choose what choices will he make?
Cam moves to Austin for a few months. He needs to take time for himself and recover and figure out who he is going to be in future. He is also hoping to meet a man and experiment and explore his attraction to men even though he knows this won't be easy. Bitter is a deeply conservative town and he also fears his children will reject him if they find out that he is gay.
When Cam meets Dave he realises that he has a chance to be who he really is but he doesn't know if he can come out to his family and he is scared about what this will mean for his business back in the town of Bitter, so he decides to enjoy the time he has even though he wants more.
Dave is cooly confident, highly educated and a sophisticated business man. He is also deeply attracted to Cam. He wants a stable relationship even though he has been hurt in the past and so he decides to explore his attraction to Cam.
Can the two men make a go of it even though Cam has so many issues?
I thought this was a well written story but it wasnt really a favourite with me. I really liked Dave but I found Cam to be really irritating. I could understand the pressure he faced but overall I thought he was just incredibly dithering. Here was his chance to make a new life for himself and to leave the suffocating town of Bitter. Instead of seizing the opportunity for a new life with both hands and running with it, he kept looking back into his old life trying to hold on and worrying about what people in town would say and do if they found out he was gay.
Cam is 55 years old. If you are still worried about what other people think at the age of 55 then you may as well just lie down and give up the ghost because there is simply no help for you.
Anyway, the story is not just about Cam coming out of the closet. He also had to come out in other ways. He had to get a mobile phone. Who doesn't have a mobile phone in the 21st-century? And this is a businessman! That fact alone deeply irritated me. I thought Dave was very patient and loving because basically he took on somebody who wasn't out and who was still living in the 19th century instead of the 21st. Well done Dave!
The story is well written but it keeps flashing back to Cam's life with his wife and I just wasn't interested in those aspects of the story. I am not a great fan of flashbacks in the stories I read and I wasnt interested in Laverne. I'm sure she was a very nice woman. She seemed very caring of her husband and she also seemed to be very progressive because she went to college and she wanted to do things and her illness held her back but she kept pushing. I had to wonder why Cam was so dated when he had such a progressive wife.
All in all I do think this was a nice story and it was romantic and it had people of colour as main characters and you don't get this in a lot of mm books. Kudos to the author. I did enjoy this story in some ways but I do hope that Cam arrives in the 21st century and knows how to use a mobile phone and perhaps an iPad and a few apps. With Dave by his side I am sure this will happen!
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review - Many thanks.
September 7, 2017
Reviewed for Just Love
3.5 stars
While it didn’t work for me on every level, Midlife Crisis has some very nice things going for it.
For me, the main attraction is Cam and Dave. Do you know how unusual it is to read about characters who are older than you? Okay, maybe it happens to you young’uns all the time, but as I hurtle towards a certain ‘golden’ age, it’s incredibly rare that I come across a book about two people who have some mileage on them. It was a refreshing change to say the least.
This is quite an emotional book, told entirely from Cam’s perspective. He’s a widower with two grown children. He owns his own business, which he has built from the ground up and he still lives in the same town he grew up in. By all accounts, he should be comfortably settling into middle age. So why does Cam find himself in a bachelor apartment in Austin, far from his friends, family and small-town life?
When Cam finds himself in the position of being able to explore the part of himself he has always kept hidden, he meets Dave, a single guy of a certain age who makes his heart pound from the first moment Cam sees him.
He sauntered in and was paying for his coffee and a copy of the paper when a loud, masculine laugh caught his attention. Cam turned to see who made made such a bright sound…White teeth against tanned skin…The beat of his heart. Short dark brown hair shot through with gray…Time. Stopped. It was every cliche.
Cam has no intention of staying in Austin permanently and certainly has no intention of coming out to his family, but spending time with Dave is making him want things he thought he would never be able to have. When circumstances force him to choose between going back to his old life, or forging a new and unexpected one with Dave, Cam has to be brave enough stop being the person everyone expects him to be and finally become his own man.
I though the storyline in Midlife Crisis was quite lovely. I loved Cam and thought his coming out story was done in a respectful and gentle manner. Dave was the perfect first boyfriend to share all of his ‘firsts’ with; first date with a man, first kiss with a man, first sexual encounter with a man. They were both very tender and lovely with each other.
The thing that stopped this from being a 4 star story was the pacing. The first 80% is quite slow, which isn’t necessarily a problem if the story unfolds in a way that keeps your attention. Unfortunately, it was bogged down with constant flashbacks of Cam’s life with his wife LaVerne which, while providing a thorough backstory, took me out of Cam’s storyline with Dave. Added to this was a very rushed final 20% that tied things up rather too neatly for my liking.
All in all, this is a very nice story about two very nice people who really deserve to be happy. I wanted to love this book more than I did, mostly because reading about older MCs make me very happy, but the most I can muster up is solid ‘like’ for it. But since we don’t get enough books with interracial relationships and silver foxes, I’m still going to recommend it. You won’t get a lot of fireworks from this story, but it will give you some warm, fuzzy feelings. And hey, sometimes that’s just what you need.
3.5 stars
While it didn’t work for me on every level, Midlife Crisis has some very nice things going for it.
For me, the main attraction is Cam and Dave. Do you know how unusual it is to read about characters who are older than you? Okay, maybe it happens to you young’uns all the time, but as I hurtle towards a certain ‘golden’ age, it’s incredibly rare that I come across a book about two people who have some mileage on them. It was a refreshing change to say the least.
This is quite an emotional book, told entirely from Cam’s perspective. He’s a widower with two grown children. He owns his own business, which he has built from the ground up and he still lives in the same town he grew up in. By all accounts, he should be comfortably settling into middle age. So why does Cam find himself in a bachelor apartment in Austin, far from his friends, family and small-town life?
When Cam finds himself in the position of being able to explore the part of himself he has always kept hidden, he meets Dave, a single guy of a certain age who makes his heart pound from the first moment Cam sees him.
He sauntered in and was paying for his coffee and a copy of the paper when a loud, masculine laugh caught his attention. Cam turned to see who made made such a bright sound…White teeth against tanned skin…The beat of his heart. Short dark brown hair shot through with gray…Time. Stopped. It was every cliche.
Cam has no intention of staying in Austin permanently and certainly has no intention of coming out to his family, but spending time with Dave is making him want things he thought he would never be able to have. When circumstances force him to choose between going back to his old life, or forging a new and unexpected one with Dave, Cam has to be brave enough stop being the person everyone expects him to be and finally become his own man.
I though the storyline in Midlife Crisis was quite lovely. I loved Cam and thought his coming out story was done in a respectful and gentle manner. Dave was the perfect first boyfriend to share all of his ‘firsts’ with; first date with a man, first kiss with a man, first sexual encounter with a man. They were both very tender and lovely with each other.
The thing that stopped this from being a 4 star story was the pacing. The first 80% is quite slow, which isn’t necessarily a problem if the story unfolds in a way that keeps your attention. Unfortunately, it was bogged down with constant flashbacks of Cam’s life with his wife LaVerne which, while providing a thorough backstory, took me out of Cam’s storyline with Dave. Added to this was a very rushed final 20% that tied things up rather too neatly for my liking.
All in all, this is a very nice story about two very nice people who really deserve to be happy. I wanted to love this book more than I did, mostly because reading about older MCs make me very happy, but the most I can muster up is solid ‘like’ for it. But since we don’t get enough books with interracial relationships and silver foxes, I’m still going to recommend it. You won’t get a lot of fireworks from this story, but it will give you some warm, fuzzy feelings. And hey, sometimes that’s just what you need.
August 29, 2017
A Joyfully Jay review.
3.5 stars
This book caught my interest and since I’ve never read this author, I was looking forward to the book. The older heroes really intrigued me, as we don’t see a whole lot of that in the genre. And there were definitely parts of this story that really worked for me. However, there were also some that didn’t. I ended up finishing the story with mixed feelings.
So I kind of had a hard time getting into the story at first. The beginning was slow for me. I think a large part is due to Cam’s hesitance. And while that definitely made sense for the character, I found myself wishing things would pick up. Cam is lost in his own head a lot and the story wasn’t as compelling as I hoped. While Cam’s struggle was clearly on the page, it also felt pretty wishy-washy, and so it was hard to really engage with the character at the beginning.
As the story went on, things got better in this regard. After meeting Dave, Cam’s hesitancy and thoughts had more of a frame. I found the pace of the story picked up and I really got into it. I loved watching Cam come into himself. For all that he was 54, he’s spent his life hiding and lying about a integral part of himself. Having lived his life in such a small-minded town, this made a lot of sense. But whereas in the beginning it just seemed as all talk, when he was with Dave, everything had much more meaning.
The two MCs have a lot of chemistry and they worked really well together. I liked the way they took things slowly and let that intense initial attraction grow. I loved their conversations and I really like seeing them come together. This story is told only from Cam’s POV, though, so I was missing Dave a bit. While he showed himself pretty well through Cam’s eyes, I didn’t get to know him nearly as well as I would have liked. So that part was missing for me.
Read Kris’ review in its entirety here.
3.5 stars
This book caught my interest and since I’ve never read this author, I was looking forward to the book. The older heroes really intrigued me, as we don’t see a whole lot of that in the genre. And there were definitely parts of this story that really worked for me. However, there were also some that didn’t. I ended up finishing the story with mixed feelings.
So I kind of had a hard time getting into the story at first. The beginning was slow for me. I think a large part is due to Cam’s hesitance. And while that definitely made sense for the character, I found myself wishing things would pick up. Cam is lost in his own head a lot and the story wasn’t as compelling as I hoped. While Cam’s struggle was clearly on the page, it also felt pretty wishy-washy, and so it was hard to really engage with the character at the beginning.
As the story went on, things got better in this regard. After meeting Dave, Cam’s hesitancy and thoughts had more of a frame. I found the pace of the story picked up and I really got into it. I loved watching Cam come into himself. For all that he was 54, he’s spent his life hiding and lying about a integral part of himself. Having lived his life in such a small-minded town, this made a lot of sense. But whereas in the beginning it just seemed as all talk, when he was with Dave, everything had much more meaning.
The two MCs have a lot of chemistry and they worked really well together. I liked the way they took things slowly and let that intense initial attraction grow. I loved their conversations and I really like seeing them come together. This story is told only from Cam’s POV, though, so I was missing Dave a bit. While he showed himself pretty well through Cam’s eyes, I didn’t get to know him nearly as well as I would have liked. So that part was missing for me.
Read Kris’ review in its entirety here.
November 1, 2024
"I've found in my life that often what I want doesn't really matter. Sometimes the choices I make are first and foremost about simply staying alive. In my experience, actually living... well, that's a luxury.
3.5 stars.
This was a very raw read.
While not exactly exciting, it was compelling and easy to read, though now that I finished and thinking about it there were a few minor issues that bothered me.
I find the title a bit unfitting. While Cam's current situation does have a few things in common with what people consider a "midlife crisis", I still felt that that wasn't exactly what it was. He rather decided to finally take an opportunity that has never been granted to him before.
Each chapter ends with a short look into the past from Cam being a teenager and meeting his wife to him sitting at her death bed. It's depressing to watch him grow up, knowing he's gay (something he himself is very aware of), in a tiny farming town rural environment in the 1970/80s.
The atmosphere of the book is not oppressive at all though - the glimpses into the past are very short, most of the plot revolves around the achingly sweet romance blossoming between Cam and Dave.
Cam was an interesting protagonist - he's 54, has his own business and two children, and yet he is incredibly shy and nervous about the new things he experiences. I found that combination intriguing.
I feel like the book would have benefitted from an epilogue. There were a few things hinted at that I woul have liked to see properly tied up or simply picked up again.
3.5 stars.
This was a very raw read.
While not exactly exciting, it was compelling and easy to read, though now that I finished and thinking about it there were a few minor issues that bothered me.
I find the title a bit unfitting. While Cam's current situation does have a few things in common with what people consider a "midlife crisis", I still felt that that wasn't exactly what it was. He rather decided to finally take an opportunity that has never been granted to him before.
Each chapter ends with a short look into the past from Cam being a teenager and meeting his wife to him sitting at her death bed. It's depressing to watch him grow up, knowing he's gay (something he himself is very aware of), in a tiny farming town rural environment in the 1970/80s.
The atmosphere of the book is not oppressive at all though - the glimpses into the past are very short, most of the plot revolves around the achingly sweet romance blossoming between Cam and Dave.
Cam was an interesting protagonist - he's 54, has his own business and two children, and yet he is incredibly shy and nervous about the new things he experiences. I found that combination intriguing.
I feel like the book would have benefitted from an epilogue. There were a few things hinted at that I woul have liked to see properly tied up or simply picked up again.
April 2, 2018
Cam was born and raised, and lived for more than fifty years in a small all-black town in Texas. Cam knew he was attracted to boys ever since his school days, but in a religious town, there was no place or understanding for that kind of thing. Homosexuality was and still is, abhorred.
So Cam married and had children, he built up a successful business which he intended to pass on to his son, and just last year had lost his wife to sickle cell anemia. He loves his children more than anything, but had decided to take a few months off to clear his head in a sort of vacation, if you will.
Now, alone in a rental apartment in Austin, he walks the city and learns his surroundings. Trying to do something for himself, he finds himself one night at a gay club, being hit on by a younger man. An alien in the big city, completely new to the gay scene, Cam finds himself pressured into a situation he’s not comfortable with and flees, only to wind up the next day at a neighborhood café.
Dave, recently out of a long relationship, is cycling every Saturday with his friends, where they finish their round at a nice café, chatting and laughing. It’s clear he’s comfortable with himself and his friends, and when he crosses path with Cam, it’s immediately clear to him the other man is interested.
When Cam’s children enter the picture it is clear that Cam’s repressed past is catching up to him, and while his kids are pretty progressive, they’re also his children who loved their mother dearly, and his biggest fear is to lose them over his love for Dave.
The way Cam and Dave’s friendship-to-relationship is progressing is the sweetest thing. These are the parts that made me swoon. They tenderness, understanding, and growing affection the two men shared.
It’s not uncommon that midlife men will dare to live their desires for the first time at a late age, but it is uncommon (for me, anyway) to read about it in a romance. I loved it.
If there are more tropes like this one, please let me know in comments.
So Cam married and had children, he built up a successful business which he intended to pass on to his son, and just last year had lost his wife to sickle cell anemia. He loves his children more than anything, but had decided to take a few months off to clear his head in a sort of vacation, if you will.
Now, alone in a rental apartment in Austin, he walks the city and learns his surroundings. Trying to do something for himself, he finds himself one night at a gay club, being hit on by a younger man. An alien in the big city, completely new to the gay scene, Cam finds himself pressured into a situation he’s not comfortable with and flees, only to wind up the next day at a neighborhood café.
Dave, recently out of a long relationship, is cycling every Saturday with his friends, where they finish their round at a nice café, chatting and laughing. It’s clear he’s comfortable with himself and his friends, and when he crosses path with Cam, it’s immediately clear to him the other man is interested.
When Cam’s children enter the picture it is clear that Cam’s repressed past is catching up to him, and while his kids are pretty progressive, they’re also his children who loved their mother dearly, and his biggest fear is to lose them over his love for Dave.
The way Cam and Dave’s friendship-to-relationship is progressing is the sweetest thing. These are the parts that made me swoon. They tenderness, understanding, and growing affection the two men shared.
It’s not uncommon that midlife men will dare to live their desires for the first time at a late age, but it is uncommon (for me, anyway) to read about it in a romance. I loved it.
If there are more tropes like this one, please let me know in comments.
September 6, 2017
Very sweet (& kind of sad) story about a man who finally had the chance to live an open life as a gay man now that his wife had passed.
The flashbacks of Cam's life with his wife really detracted from his romance with Dave. I never understood Dave's pov - why he was falling so quickly for Cam and how it turned to love so fast.
I loved that they were older and the story overall but it didn't have the emotional impact I was hoping for.
The flashbacks of Cam's life with his wife really detracted from his romance with Dave. I never understood Dave's pov - why he was falling so quickly for Cam and how it turned to love so fast.
I loved that they were older and the story overall but it didn't have the emotional impact I was hoping for.
August 31, 2017
4.5 STARS
Cam McGhee is going to break your heart. I’m pretty sure I felt mine crack several times while reading his story.
The story begins with fifty four year old Cam venturing into a gay bar for the first time in his life. He’s feeling a complete mess of emotions – fear, excitement, hope – but it doesn’t end well, and he’s not sure if he even wants to try again. Why even attempt to explore this part of himself when he’s only in Austin temporarily? In six months he’ll be returning to Bitter, a small, all black, church strong town where the only out gay man was beaten, driven out and disowned. But then he meets Dave, and even though he knows it can’t last, he begins to fall for the confident, understanding man.
I’d say about a quarter of this story is set in the past, important scenes from Cam’s life which are scattered throughout the story, rather than told in one big chunk. The “flashbacks” begin with a teenaged Cam dealing with the fact that his feelings towards another boy won’t ever be accepted in the world he lives in. In fact, they’ll be met with hatred and violence. Through these brief scenes, we witness a deeply closeted Cam get married, have children and consequently lose his wife after thirty five years of marriage. In every single one of these moments, Cam is struggling, and the scene when he marries LaVerne was absolutely heartbreaking. The author did a brilliant job of making me feel his loneliness and despair that what he had to do just wasn’t right. Usually I hate flashbacks, but the author used these ones so well that it enhanced the story rather than drew my attention from the romance between the main characters. It’s one thing to tell the reader about a character’s history, but this story really made me feel it.
While I enjoyed the romance between Cam and Dave, for me the story was always about Cam’s life. The romance just added a happy element to that. I thought the sex scenes were well written and suited to the story. Finally having sex with a man was a huge deal to Cam and I needed it to be about how he was feeling rather than any kinky antics. And that was what the author gave us. Not that the scenes weren’t sexy, but they were appropriate to the story. If Dave had pulled out a ball gag and started spanking Cam I would have wondered what the hell was happening.
I think my only quibble with this story is that I would have liked to know what happened next. People back in Bitter would surely find out. How would all these people that Cam was scared to alienate react to the news? Especially LaVerne’s family?
I absolutely enjoyed this story and will be sure to look out for more books from this author in the future.
Reviewed for Love Bytes Reviews
http://lovebytesreviews.com/2017/08/2...
Cam McGhee is going to break your heart. I’m pretty sure I felt mine crack several times while reading his story.
The story begins with fifty four year old Cam venturing into a gay bar for the first time in his life. He’s feeling a complete mess of emotions – fear, excitement, hope – but it doesn’t end well, and he’s not sure if he even wants to try again. Why even attempt to explore this part of himself when he’s only in Austin temporarily? In six months he’ll be returning to Bitter, a small, all black, church strong town where the only out gay man was beaten, driven out and disowned. But then he meets Dave, and even though he knows it can’t last, he begins to fall for the confident, understanding man.
I’d say about a quarter of this story is set in the past, important scenes from Cam’s life which are scattered throughout the story, rather than told in one big chunk. The “flashbacks” begin with a teenaged Cam dealing with the fact that his feelings towards another boy won’t ever be accepted in the world he lives in. In fact, they’ll be met with hatred and violence. Through these brief scenes, we witness a deeply closeted Cam get married, have children and consequently lose his wife after thirty five years of marriage. In every single one of these moments, Cam is struggling, and the scene when he marries LaVerne was absolutely heartbreaking. The author did a brilliant job of making me feel his loneliness and despair that what he had to do just wasn’t right. Usually I hate flashbacks, but the author used these ones so well that it enhanced the story rather than drew my attention from the romance between the main characters. It’s one thing to tell the reader about a character’s history, but this story really made me feel it.
While I enjoyed the romance between Cam and Dave, for me the story was always about Cam’s life. The romance just added a happy element to that. I thought the sex scenes were well written and suited to the story. Finally having sex with a man was a huge deal to Cam and I needed it to be about how he was feeling rather than any kinky antics. And that was what the author gave us. Not that the scenes weren’t sexy, but they were appropriate to the story. If Dave had pulled out a ball gag and started spanking Cam I would have wondered what the hell was happening.
I think my only quibble with this story is that I would have liked to know what happened next. People back in Bitter would surely find out. How would all these people that Cam was scared to alienate react to the news? Especially LaVerne’s family?
I absolutely enjoyed this story and will be sure to look out for more books from this author in the future.
Reviewed for Love Bytes Reviews
http://lovebytesreviews.com/2017/08/2...
October 3, 2017
Whew. This was an exhausting novel. And a reminder of why I don't do angsty stories very well.
What I loved:
1. It's an interracial romance featuring a Black and Latino male pairing. Don't often get PoC in queer stories as it is (a damn shame in my view).
2. The Black hero is named "Cam" rather than the stereotyped name-fail that some authors commit. He's a small-town guy living in his lonely world.
3. The heroes are middle aged and don't have these perfectly sculpted bodies. It was cool to read a realistic view of the aging process. Frankly twinks have become boring and overdone.
4. Dave was sweet and patient.
What I struggled with:
1. The drama. Remind me to never live in a small town anywhere. Sadly such places still exist and I need never to go to them. While it was interesting to read about a historic (yet fictional) Black town, it was also somewhat maddening that after the era of Obama, there are places in which "knowing your place" is perfectly acceptable. Because of those small-minded attitudes, this book felt as claustrophobic as Bitter, Texas, the town Cam had lived his entire life in.
There were instances where I wanted to shake some sense into Cam, but his struggle to hide his homosexuality was almost too hard to take. Yet for many PoC, coming out can mean losing family, friends and community. It can be traumatic. Cam's fear, especially after the gay bashing of a family friend, only reinforced that fear.
2. The flashbacks of Cam's marriage. It took up a lot of the story which I think would have been better served with Cam doing more than just dating. Maybe looking up a support network for Black gay men (they do exist). I did like his joining the embroidery class.
3. The ending felt rushed, everything wrapped in a nice, neat bow. Granted, if anyone deserved a happy ending, it was Cam and Dave, but I wanted him to have the sit down with his grown children and come clean fully.
I struggled between three point five and four stars. Because it's an IR, I'm going with the full four. We need MORE books with lead queer PoC. Representation matters.
What I loved:
1. It's an interracial romance featuring a Black and Latino male pairing. Don't often get PoC in queer stories as it is (a damn shame in my view).
2. The Black hero is named "Cam" rather than the stereotyped name-fail that some authors commit. He's a small-town guy living in his lonely world.
3. The heroes are middle aged and don't have these perfectly sculpted bodies. It was cool to read a realistic view of the aging process. Frankly twinks have become boring and overdone.
4. Dave was sweet and patient.
What I struggled with:
1. The drama. Remind me to never live in a small town anywhere. Sadly such places still exist and I need never to go to them. While it was interesting to read about a historic (yet fictional) Black town, it was also somewhat maddening that after the era of Obama, there are places in which "knowing your place" is perfectly acceptable. Because of those small-minded attitudes, this book felt as claustrophobic as Bitter, Texas, the town Cam had lived his entire life in.
There were instances where I wanted to shake some sense into Cam, but his struggle to hide his homosexuality was almost too hard to take. Yet for many PoC, coming out can mean losing family, friends and community. It can be traumatic. Cam's fear, especially after the gay bashing of a family friend, only reinforced that fear.
2. The flashbacks of Cam's marriage. It took up a lot of the story which I think would have been better served with Cam doing more than just dating. Maybe looking up a support network for Black gay men (they do exist). I did like his joining the embroidery class.
3. The ending felt rushed, everything wrapped in a nice, neat bow. Granted, if anyone deserved a happy ending, it was Cam and Dave, but I wanted him to have the sit down with his grown children and come clean fully.
I struggled between three point five and four stars. Because it's an IR, I'm going with the full four. We need MORE books with lead queer PoC. Representation matters.
July 4, 2018
There something about Cam that makes him feel new to the world. Though a man in his fifties there’s something almost childlike and innocent about this character, but he is far from naive. He’s learned to navigate the realities of the world around him and survive hidden in plain sight. Everything about this character is evocative and cranks up my empathy to painful levels.
Juxtaposing gender, community and orientation, perhaps it is age and similarities in ethnicity that makes me feel his story as true. Perhaps it’s the politics of the world at large spiraling out of control and the microcosm of two fictional characters, Cam and Dave, becomes a balm.
Cam’s journey to be true to himself, his excursion into a life he could have had, mixed liberally with flashbacks to the life he led – is beautiful and heartbreaking. Heartbreakingly beautiful are not words joined together in a good way, but this story – like many other stories – is filled with words joined together. Only these words ultimately create something beautiful … and heartbreaking.
https://lillian168.blogspot.com/p/0-0...
Juxtaposing gender, community and orientation, perhaps it is age and similarities in ethnicity that makes me feel his story as true. Perhaps it’s the politics of the world at large spiraling out of control and the microcosm of two fictional characters, Cam and Dave, becomes a balm.
Cam’s journey to be true to himself, his excursion into a life he could have had, mixed liberally with flashbacks to the life he led – is beautiful and heartbreaking. Heartbreakingly beautiful are not words joined together in a good way, but this story – like many other stories – is filled with words joined together. Only these words ultimately create something beautiful … and heartbreaking.
https://lillian168.blogspot.com/p/0-0...
May 27, 2018
3 1\2 stars. This felt more like a journey of self discovery story than a romance but I'm glad I read it and I’m very glad it exists in the world.
Enjoyed the settings - Austin, Texas and Bitter, Texas. Bitter, a small Black farming community, is almost a separate character. It’s a refuge against racism and yet, like many traditional communities, it’s stifling (and sometimes dangerous) for those who don’t fit in. The story highlights the good parts of the strong community support that helps Cam and his family as well as the stifling expectations and underlying homophobia and sexism.
Because we only get one pov (Cam's) the romance seemed one sided. There are a lot of flashbacks to Cam’s marriage - some of it was hard to read because I sympathized with him and wanted to like him but I also sympathized with his wife so, so much.
Enjoyed the settings - Austin, Texas and Bitter, Texas. Bitter, a small Black farming community, is almost a separate character. It’s a refuge against racism and yet, like many traditional communities, it’s stifling (and sometimes dangerous) for those who don’t fit in. The story highlights the good parts of the strong community support that helps Cam and his family as well as the stifling expectations and underlying homophobia and sexism.
Because we only get one pov (Cam's) the romance seemed one sided. There are a lot of flashbacks to Cam’s marriage - some of it was hard to read because I sympathized with him and wanted to like him but I also sympathized with his wife so, so much.
September 2, 2017
Wow! What a fantastic book, I thought I would read a chapter or two before bed, but I couldn't put the damn thing down. The author went forward and backwards in time with ease. I believe I need a part two, Dave's story. Or written with Dave's point of view. Especially since they were both a little broken. I cried for their struggles, and laughed in their joy. Ms. North, I was kind of mad about a certain someone who was duped but in the end I felt she never knew that and you made me tear up for "their last scene". It made my heart hurt to feel your words as if I was a fly on the wall through this entire story. Can't wait to read more of your work. 👏🏽🤗
March 27, 2018
This was so sweet and poignant! I love romances that center around older characters and the premise played out in such bittersweet yet hopeful and lovely ways. My heart really ached for Cam as he was closeted for 54 years because of his family and his community and it was wonderful to see him consider a future reality where he could be fully himself. The ending was a bit rushed- I wanted to see Dave and Cam talk through the conflict more, especially because of the events that led up to it and what they'll need to figure out for their future together- but overall, I really enjoyed this one.
August 17, 2017
3.5
This was a nice MM romance. 50 years is a long time not to embrace yourself fully. He finally found his true north in the twilight of his life.
This review is based on the ARC provided by the author and/or the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.
This was a nice MM romance. 50 years is a long time not to embrace yourself fully. He finally found his true north in the twilight of his life.
This review is based on the ARC provided by the author and/or the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.
March 14, 2018
Ageless
This was a beautiful story. Heartache and sadness and finally finding your true self. Imagine this happens every day.. Life way to short. Great story well developed characters. First time reading a book by this author and will definitely buy more of her books.
This was a beautiful story. Heartache and sadness and finally finding your true self. Imagine this happens every day.. Life way to short. Great story well developed characters. First time reading a book by this author and will definitely buy more of her books.
August 30, 2017
3.5 stars
Very, very sweet book that also makes you think. Love the age of the MC's!!
Very, very sweet book that also makes you think. Love the age of the MC's!!
August 30, 2017
A beautiful story about acceptance, family & love. I loved how forthright it was. No frills, no fuss. It was honest & very real. Loved it! <3
September 1, 2017
Sweet romance with older characters and an interracial romance to boot!
September 9, 2017
So good! Though I wish there was more to the end like and epilogue or something. I doesn't particularly warrant it, but I'd love a sequel
October 27, 2017
this was a very well done story. sweet. painful. and full of hope. and positive characters
December 16, 2017
This one really worked for me.
November 21, 2017
This was a really cute and heartwarming story. Definitely recommended!
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