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The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption
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The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption

4.33  ·  Rating details ·  2,462 Ratings  ·  253 Reviews
Updated Cover: ASIN: B00NOC5FNS

The Song of Solomon offers strikingly candid—and timeless—insights on romance, dating, marriage, and sex. We need it. Because emotions rise and fall with a single glance, touch, kiss, or word. And we are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God's design for love and intimacy.Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for b
Kindle Edition, 226 pages
Published May 2017 by David C. Cook (first published January 1st 2015)
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Dec 14, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: less-200, netgalley
We need to be fighting for our marriage. Fighting the dissatisfaction, fighting the expectation, fighting the selfishness and instead have a high value of marriage while fighting for the gospel. The Mingling of Souls starts with our attraction to the opposite sex, courting, wedding and the commitment of marriage. It would be great for a high school small group study. A study for a couple that wants to get married and for the couples that are. It is also good for parents to have a resource for th ...more
Jan 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book will be passed onto my sons...

I found it very honest and encouraging. I was never allowed to discuss dating, self worth and temptations growing up, so I added rebellion out of sheer curiosity in my teen years. The discussions with my children, however, have been very open because of this. As open as they will allow, of course, but especially when it comes to courtships and dating for a purpose. I'm a 30 something married woman with three beautiful baby boys. Okay, two are teenagers, bu
Drew Miller
Dec 26, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-living
I have read a few books on marriage and while I am not married they have been very helpful in navigating the meaning of marriage and what it looks like to pursue it. Although my favorite book on marriage is still Tim Keller's Meaning of Marriage The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Matt Chandler is one of my favorite preachers and authors and I find his insight helpful and entertaining. One of the things that draws ...more
Sarah Wolfe
May 22, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Wonderfully encouraging and mostly solid advice. Very interesting, deep reading of Song of Solomon with practical advice that holds up to the rest of scripture. Problems I found were a few throwaway semi derogatory comments about preference things, like weight; and quite a bit of "women do/feel X, men do Y". While I'm sure these stereotypes occur in his own marriage, it's unfair and a little dangerous to make sweeping proclamations without any acknowledgement to other personalities. Still a soli ...more
Paul Stuart
I was a member of The Village when I lived in Denton, so I have nothing but love and respect for Chandler. This book has amazing wisdom and the biblical marriage doctrines are explained clearly and wonderfully. Overall, I'd recommend it. But I think the supposed exegesis of Song of Solomon hurt it for me. Some of the verses quoted had nothing to do with the ideas presented. Chandler ultimately wanted to discuss various marriage topics, and I actually feel the book would have been better if he di ...more
Sep 03, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2015
This was a great study of the book of Song of Solomon, but I would have to consider it a mere decent look into dating, courtship, and marriage. The overall definition of these stages was solid, the biblical interpretation was solid, and the relation of these aspects of life to the Gospel was solid. But the more I read of Matt Chandler's personal side notes and opinions, the fewer stars I felt were appropriate.

Matt Chandler often went with stereotypes and black/white extremes on things that he w
Mar 08, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This was a fine book. If you're an evangelical fundamentalist you will probably like it more than I did. The relationship advice was pretty straightforward if not self explanatory (you shouldn't date people you are only physically attracted to, you should consider your differences before deciding to marry, etc.)

I don't think Chandler is a particularly smart person and he has a pretty wild perspective on gender roles. Here's a direct quote- "Men, watching your wife serve you in tender ways, watc
Pastor Matt takes the approach of interpreting the Song of Solomon as the story of a lifelong marriage relationship between King Solomon and his Shulamite wife. Some of the interpretations of the various poetic elements are interesting, but as this book of the Bible has been debated for much of history regarding its interpretation, I won't offer any opinion. The principles that he does draw from his interpretation are excellent, applicable to all stages of a relationship that seeks to honor Chri ...more
Jul 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A marvelous treatise on the Song of Solomon and it’s application in the Christian’s life. Matt Chandler does a stellar job at being transparent and honest about his marriage, where it’s stumbled, and how God has redeemed those times. He also expertly dissects the Song of Solomon and applies it to the various stages of singleness, dating, engagement, etc. easily one of my favorite books of its kind that I will visit again and again as the years pass.
K.A. Thederahn
As a single guy, this book definitely brought to clarity what a Christ-centered relationship and marriage looks like. It did a great job of preparing me for the time when God will have me enter a relationship that pleases Him
Kelly Schulz
May 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
BEST book I've ever read on the topic, and so expertly written to all audiences;
Singles/ Those in a relationship / Newly marrieds / Longer-marrieds.
The skill in this comes from it's basis; that of Jesus-focused {not "purity"-focused} truth!
It warranted a flood of "amens" from me!
Part for Single & Searching, part for the Married & Maturing
The last three chapters (6-8) were by far the best: Fighting Fair, Logs on the Fire, and I'm Not Going Anywhere.
Huw Fulcher
A fantastic book on Biblical relationships. Only critique would be that Chandler doesn’t stress enough that the principles he explains from Songs are the “perfect” standard. He can go for an entire chapter piling up all these things that most of us don’t do only to cover it with “we have grace”, at the end of the chapter.
Oct 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A beautiful and practical exposition of the Song of Songs.

Matt Chandler shares his encouraging story. "It is the gospel and our belief in it that make dating, courtship, engagement, marriage, and growing old together unbelievably vibrant."
Feb 13, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very solid and very practical book covering all stages of a relationship from initial attraction to old and married. Not sure there was much new insight but I'd easily recommend this to students.

One of my favorite quotes from it had nothing to do with marriage but was saying that as a pastor he wants to lay low and glorify Christ. (Or something like that.). That's the kind of humility I want to live out as a minister of the gospel.
Russell Threet
Oct 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Marriage and relationship books are quite literally"a dime a dozen". Well, maybe not a dime but 50 cents a piece at the used book store down the road. Christian or biblical based books on marriage are no less common. As a preacher I always look to see if someone's biblical interpretation has been skewed even a bit to fit their concept. What I love about Chandler is his commitment is to the biblical text. This book echoes that conviction. There is no heavy over reaching in his interpreting. There ...more
Rachel Amos
Feb 05, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Chandler walks through the Song of Songs, explaining the deeper meaning of the poetic text, and encouraging this generation to apply the wisdom Solomon wrote about marriage. While nothing was altogether new for me, the way Chandler wrote and the honest plea from him to want more and fight for more in marriage to the glory of God was deeply encouraging. Excited, too, to use the practical tools in mentoring younger woman or walking alongside single friends as they navigate dating.

Recommend to any
Joel Rockey
Jan 01, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Quite different than I expected. I think I was expecting a more general book on marriage, but Matt Chandler basically walks through The Song of Solomon and brings out applications for unmarried and married relationships. The book starts at the initial attraction in a relationship and goes all the way to "growing old" with your spouse. I don't know if I agree with all of his interpretations of Song of Solomon, but his applications are awesome. This book would actually be very helpful for someone ...more
Alex Hannis
Jun 01, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book because of the high praise it received from friends I knew. I also really enjoy Chandler's preaching ministry. However, my suspicions were correct: Matt Chandler is a much better speaker and preacher than writer. I did still enjoy the book though. I appreciate the way he looked at the whole of relationships, from attraction and dating to marriage and perseverance.

He argues that he is following the outline of the Song of Solomon, but I wasn't really convinced in some areas as it
Bryan Jackson
Jan 15, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2015-read
I feel bad giving it 2 stars but I really think it was just "ok". If you want a marriage book then go for Tim Keller. I love listening to Chandler but I haven't been that impressed by his writing so far and this is the third one of his I've gone through. I wish the book was either about dating/courtship or about marriage/sex. I know he was trying to incorporate everything from Song of Solomon but it seems like it would have been more effective in two, more in-depth books which speak to couples i ...more
Laramie Gildon
Jun 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thoroughly appreciated Matt's book. I can't say I agreed 100% of the time but throughout the book it is well known his intentions are to glorify our God. His testimony and authenticity through his struggles of marriage was insightful and encouraging. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone who is married and may get married.
Aug 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a really excellent book for pretty much anybody - although at times challenging and uncomfortable. I think it gives a very realistic and Biblical view of marriage and how we should think of it, whether you're married or single. I highly recommend it!
Aug 12, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great book!
Amanda Cornelius
No rating, as I quit reading this one. The over interpretation of Song of Solomon was one reason; the second reason was that I read an article concerning Chandler that didn't sit well with me.
Tim Counts
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was the first full Matt Chandler book I have read, and I’m so glad I did! I will admit, it started very slow for me because of the chapters on dating & courtship. I kept thinking, I’m so glad we’re past that stage! But even then those chapters did help me as a pastor, as I shepherd others. However, beginning in chapter 4 where Chandler so clearly explains the difference between a contract and a covenant, through the chapters on sex, fighting, romance and longevity, it was gold. This boo ...more
Apr 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-living
Looks through The Song of Solomon and the author's own marriage for a portrait of how God intends the union of man and woman to reflect the gospel. An essential read for the Church. In marriage, as in many other facets of life, culture is influencing the church rather than the church influencing culture. Chandler takes us back to the very beginning, when God first established the covenantal relationship. He then walks through the most famous depiction of courtship and marriage, Song of Solomon, ...more
Chase Tremaine
Questionable exegesis, fantastic takeaways

This was almost a 4-star review. Chandler wrote a suitably short book that's filled with highlightable advice and anecdotes (which I plan on revisiting). What ultimately docked the star was how Chandler interpreted the Song of Solomon. While I generally agreed with all of his practical conclusions, he rarely presented convincing arguments for why he interpreted the poetry the way he did; he read into the text with such freedom that I often felt like he w
Michael Boling
Jan 07, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
We find in Genesis 2:22, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” From this verse, we realize, at least in part, God’s plan for male/female relationships, namely that God designed man and woman to come together, both physically and spiritually as one unit. Throughout Scripture, we find God’s unfolding and perfect design for how this comes about. Perhaps no better place to look in Scripture for grasping matters of attraction, purity ...more
Jul 21, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The first third of this book came across as being geared for single people. After that, I think both single and married people can get something out of it. I would have given it a 5 except he kept saying that Solomon was thinking this or that. Obviously, he doesn't know what Solomon was thinking. I think there are better ways to express yourself when you don't know what someone else was thinking.
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Istikhara For Love Marriage 1 2 Dec 31, 2017 09:05PM  
Goodreads Librari...: Merging Books 2 15 Jan 11, 2015 01:52PM  
  • Praying the Bible
  • What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?
  • Onward: Engaging the Culture without Losing the Gospel
  • Jesus on Every Page: 10 Simple Ways to Seek and Find Christ in the Old Testament
  • A Peculiar Glory: How the Christian Scriptures Reveal Their Complete Truthfulness
  • The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference
  • Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds
  • Everyone's a Theologian
  • Manhood Restored: How the Gospel Makes Men Whole
  • Visual Theology: Seeing and Understanding the Truth About God
  • The Things of Earth: Treasuring God by Enjoying His Gifts
  • The Dude's Guide to Manhood: Finding True Manliness in a World of Counterfeits
  • You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity
  • Fool's Talk: Recovering the Art of Christian Persuasion
  • Habits of Grace: Enjoying Jesus through the Spiritual Disciplines
  • Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart
  • Not by Sight: A Fresh Look at Old Stories of Walking by Faith
  • What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Matt Chandler is the lead pastor of The Village Church, a multi-campus church in the Dallas metroplex of over 10,000 people. His sermons are among the topselling (free) podcasts on itunes and he speaks at conferences worldwide. Prior to accepting the pastorate at The Village, Matt had a vibrant itinerant ministr
“But there is a beauty even in loving without response because that kind of love is truly selfless. When we love with no expectation or promise of reciprocity, we know what it means to sacrifice and deny ourselves in ways we wouldn’t otherwise.” 12 likes
“Men, let me plead with you: The greatest fight of your life is not lust. You may think it is, but it isn’t. The greatest fight of your life will be rejecting the passivity that has infected your heart since the fall. Your natural default, especially as it pertains to sacrificial leadership of your wife, will be to mutely witness.” 11 likes
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