Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing” as Want to Read:
Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing

3.89  ·  Rating details ·  272 ratings  ·  32 reviews
After the death of her father, and her mother’s immediate remarriage to a sadistic abuser, Nancy Richards lived a life plagued with physical and emotional violence.

The powerlessness, pain, and torment she endured ate her up. But, the ultimate gut-punch came when she finally mustered the courage to break her silence, and her words were met with excuses for her abusers and
Kindle Edition, 146 pages
Published May 22nd 2017
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Mother, I Don't Forgive You, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Mother, I Don't Forgive You

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 3.89  · 
Rating details
 ·  272 ratings  ·  32 reviews

More filters
Sort order
Start your review of Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing
Jul 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
No words.
Oct 11, 2018 rated it liked it

This book is a bit different in that the mother didnt do the actual abuse. After her first husband died unexpectedly she went through a series of husbands who abused her children and did nothing about it. The abuse was actually pretty awful. One put the author's hands in boiling hot water when she was only 5 or 6. The first half the author tells about the abuse. The second half she talks about how she came to accept her past abuse. But the question is: Can you forgive or should you not forgive a
Kathleen Pooler
Jul 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In sharing her brave struggle to forgive her mother for the severe abuse she endured as a child, Nancy Richards has provided a thought-provoking and unique perspective on the concept of forgiveness. Though, she was admonished by friends, family, therapists and Christians that she needed to forgive in order to heal, she defied societal expectations and decided to not forgive her mother. Therein lies the story of how she found eventual forgiveness by allowing herself to heal first. She gave hersel ...more
Feb 01, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: kindle-unlimited
Ok, there were some absolute gems in this book, but I’m still digesting it and what I think about it.

I can’t figure out if the Author is a Christian or not? She references some Christian resources.

Here’s a spoiler: she does forgive her mother. It’s more about how not just blithely saying “I forgive you” but rather really processing and coming to terms with what forgiveness is and isn’t.

This is about he physical abuse of her step father and the emotional abuse of her mother and how she moved on w
Sep 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I really needed this book. Sometimes things are not forgivable, especially when they continue. I am sad that I can't. I can't forget either. Violence, chaos, neglect, lying and manipulation are difficult to understand. I know my mother was most likely hurt as a child. I know she had painful issues with her.husband but she should not have been confiding in a 12 year old about her marriage, hitting us almost everyday of our lives, acting like a saint in public and screaming constantly at home. I r ...more
Lea  Cornell
Jul 31, 2017 rated it it was amazing
How does one rate such a great self-help and eye opening book? I will try!
The author gives great detail about her childhood after the death of her father and the many relationships her mother had thereafter which included abusive relationships. These abuses were not just directed at her mother but herself and her two brothers (and eventually her 3rd brother later in life). But the abuse did not start there. As she looks further into her past, she see that her mother never had the mother/daughter
Jun 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
Overall an interesting read...

This was actually helpful for me in many ways to read. I have compassion for Nancy and understand because I'm a survivor, I don't forgive and am still working on healing me.
Saying that I have to admit I did have a issues that frustrated me while reading this book. She stated repeatedly....No one helped her and her brothers while she was in the home. She was dumb founded by that as she should be BUT knowing no one had or would help why didn't she help Randy and Brand
Betty Mason
Sep 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Forgiveness! I liked this book because rarely are you able to books that deals with abuse within the family.

I would recommend this to people who are hurting because of discord in the family unit. I have found that disequilibrium is caused by many factors within the family structure. Familys that have inherent problems due to unhealthy structures often are unable to address problem that cause disequilibrium within the family unit. Counseling is often required to address those problems. There some
Diane Mariel
Dec 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
Healing Before Forgiveness

This was a truly sad experience with a lot of pain and disappointment the author had to suffer through due to a non committal, selfish parent. I felt that there seemed to be some things the author held back but regardless of what she wanted to tell, however the point is she has the right to put herself above forgiving the perpetrator. Healing is definitely necessary in order to properly forgive. The burden of a bad conscience should you forgive before you are mentally r
Jun 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Healing Process

It's heartbreaking what Nancy and her brothers went through, sad that since she was the one that finally strong enough to stand up for revenue they suffered that she basically shunned by her family. But she was strong enough to not only break the cycle of abuse but nice on with her life. A mother myself I can't for the life of me understand how a mother can stand by and watch her kids be abused and abuse them as well blaming Nancy & not owning up to her part in it , even her broth
Julia Bell
May 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book was different in that it was part autobiography and part an introspective journey into forgiveness. The beginning was quite harrowing and made me feel angry towards a mother who puts her own selfish needs above her children. I had an overwhelming need to protect those children.
I do agree with the author in that forgiveness is difficult when the abuser doesn't acknowledge their wrongdoing and this actually demeans the abused and makes healing so difficult.
I enjoyed this story despite
Janie Anderson
Oct 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
Terrific read from a woman from an abusive childhood trying to put herself back together as an adult.

I have to agree with her in that forgiveness is not always the healthier thing to do when you have been abused. A great deal depends on your current relationship with your abuser(s) and the abusers ability to recognize their part in the abusing.

For those of us who were victims of mental, physical or other abuse as children this is a book that may be very hard to read but also one that forces yo
Jan 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A Heart Wrenching Story of Survival and Conquest

This book addresses a subject that is often "taboo" in society today. I like that it was told in 'first person" so you actually feel the pain of physical and mental abuses. I like that the approach to healing is outlined so that eventually, you may be able to forgive. I recommend this book to all survivors, male or female who carry the pain of abuse deep within their heart.
Lisa Gatts
Oct 27, 2019 rated it liked it
Mother I Don't Forgive You

This was a pretty good book and I am going to read the 2nd one because I have it on Kindle Unlimited.The reason I did not give the book a higher rating is I felt that too much info was taken from other books and articles on Forgiving and Healing and I wish the author would have kept it her own thoughts and ideas rather then pulling them from other books. Otherwise I would have easily given 4****
karin whitehead
Mar 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Mother I don't

This one hit pretty close to home for me. Nancy Richards writes with knowledge and experience. I was raised during the '50's and 60's age when this type of topic was taboo.Some of survivors have gone through similar traumas, and survived it with much aganst. Not all comes away without deep psychological trouble. Well written, characters you come to !ove, empathize with, and others you want to hate, need to, to overcome the horrific past they had to experience.
Jul 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I needed this book

Tears came to my eyes many many times as I could do easily relate to the author's experiences. I too have been trapped in the cycle of you must forgive in order to forget. Or the idea that they just did the best they could. NO! It's time to put myself first. This book is a must read for anyone who's childhood trauma at the hands of their parents still affects them as adults.
Lizzie Winns
Aug 16, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: child-abuse
This book was short but long winded

It was sad to hear of the abuse the author experienced as a child and teenager. But the rest of the book was mostly her thoughts feelings and inner voices. It was very informative and provided resources to people who are going thru the same thing.
Shirley McAllister
Dec 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction-abuse
Healing oneself

Nancy has grown up in an abusive relationship. Her bond with her mother never happened. After her father passed away she had one abusive stepfather after another. She , however, felt that her mother put the blame for the abuse on her. In order to heal she had to find validation of the abuse and self worth for herself. This book is a story of that journey.
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing

I am a 43 year old survivor of child sexual abuse. My abuser (my father), recently passed away. His death has me feeling confused and possibly ready to unlock the feelings I have tucked away for so long. This book has given me excellent advice to begin the healing process. Thanks for sharing your story and journey!!!
lea lynn
Nov 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing

For Matthias hit close to home although my own abuse is altogether different. In my own way I have been able to forgive but the anger still is there. To say I would shed a tear if something happens to her would be a lie, Thank you
Feb 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
A honest look at childhood abuse/sexual abuse

I found this author's raw honesty in her recovery from brutal abuse/sexual abuse and her methods refreshing and hopeful for those who suffer from this very real and devestating problem.
Debbie Clinton Holden
The beginning chapters of the book are realistic and sad. As I continued to read the book, I didn’t enjoy that the main character yet was still acting like a wounded child as a adult. It made me feel that women are weak.
Kimberly Jo
Dec 22, 2019 rated it really liked it

This book hit a lot of emotions. It offered me solice because i am estranged from a lot of my family and i have often felt like i had the problem. This book showed me that i am not alone in that.
Devona Hogans
Dec 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Amazing Perspective!

I am so appreciative of your perspective! I needed to hear this as I have forgiven my parents over and over only to be disappointed!!!
Jennifer Botelho
Mar 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Read this book!

Nancy eloquently relates her personal experiences and provides abuse survivors with a solid foundation in order to begin healing. Thank you!

Mar 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing

Great book to explain the hurt so the abuser outed on others and why it is hard to forgive. Helps you discover how to find your peace
Jennifer Reynolds
Nov 13, 2018 rated it liked it
Glad that Nancy has figured out her process in healing. Hopefully her family relationships will mend one day especially with her siblings.
edward p. nunes
Sep 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Good read

Reading this was difficult but helpful. The author made several helpful and valid points. If recommend this book to anyone who suffered abuse as a child.
Darlena Lemons
Jun 21, 2020 rated it liked it

While there were some interesting features to this tale it was mostly very dry reading.I prefer more narrative story tracks.
Barbara Stinard
Jul 12, 2020 rated it liked it
This was a mixture of memoir & self-help. I would have rated higher, but so much of this short book was pulled from other sources. ...more
« previous 1 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • Nobody believed me: A harrowing true story of abuse survival
  • Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption
  • Call Me Cockroach
  • BEHIND CLOSED DOORS: A Daughter's Story
  • Cupboard Boy: Dare you Read? (The P T Saunders story #1)
  • An Only Child and Her Sister: A Memoir
  • Why Me?
  • Battered: The Monster Among Us (Toxic Thoughts Book 1)
  • Cornered: The Painful True Story of My Child Abuse Hell (Child Abuse True Stories)
  • Innocence Lost: A Little Girl's Life Changed Forever (The Cries No One Heard #1)
  • His Wife's Sister
  • Can You Feel This?
  • Wrong Family: For Every Secret, There Is A Family
  • Where Children Run (Pischke Twins, #1)
  • Stress Fracture (Dub Walker, #1)
  • Kill 'Em All: A True Story of Abuse, Revenge and the Making of a Monster
  • Call Me Tuesday
  • Trafficked: Two Sisters Lost
See similar books…

News & Interviews

  Let your voice be heard! We need your help selecting the best books of the year during the 2020 Goodreads Choice Awards, our 12th annual...
51 likes · 21 comments
“In order to grieve—I needed to “unlearn” the way I learned to ignore my agony.” 2 likes
“In the limousine on the way to my father’s graveside services, I started to cry. My mother slapped me and told me to stop crying. I lacked a model to show me how to feel compassion for my pain.” 2 likes
More quotes…