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Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing
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Mother, I Don't Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative For Healing

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3.88  ·  Rating details ·  206 ratings  ·  21 reviews
After the death of her father, and her mother’s immediate remarriage to a sadistic abuser, Nancy Richards lived a life plagued with physical and emotional violence.

The powerlessness, pain, and torment she endured ate her up. But, the ultimate gut-punch came when she finally mustered the courage to break her silence, and her words were met with excuses for her abusers and
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Kindle Edition, 146 pages
Published May 22nd 2017
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3.88  · 
Rating details
 ·  206 ratings  ·  21 reviews


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david
Jul 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
No words.
Koren
Oct 11, 2018 rated it liked it

This book is a bit different in that the mother didnt do the actual abuse. After her first husband died unexpectedly she went through a series of husbands who abused her children and did nothing about it. The abuse was actually pretty awful. One put the author's hands in boiling hot water when she was only 5 or 6. The first half the author tells about the abuse. The second half she talks about how she came to accept her past abuse. But the question is: Can you forgive or should you not forgive a
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Kathleen Pooler
Jul 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In sharing her brave struggle to forgive her mother for the severe abuse she endured as a child, Nancy Richards has provided a thought-provoking and unique perspective on the concept of forgiveness. Though, she was admonished by friends, family, therapists and Christians that she needed to forgive in order to heal, she defied societal expectations and decided to not forgive her mother. Therein lies the story of how she found eventual forgiveness by allowing herself to heal first. She gave hersel ...more
Leah
Feb 01, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: kindle-unlimited
Ok, there were some absolute gems in this book, but I’m still digesting it and what I think about it.

I can’t figure out if the Author is a Christian or not? She references some Christian resources.

Here’s a spoiler: she does forgive her mother. It’s more about how not just blithely saying “I forgive you” but rather really processing and coming to terms with what forgiveness is and isn’t.

This is about he physical abuse of her step father and the emotional abuse of her mother and how she moved on w
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Lea  Cornell
Jul 31, 2017 rated it it was amazing
How does one rate such a great self-help and eye opening book? I will try!
The author gives great detail about her childhood after the death of her father and the many relationships her mother had thereafter which included abusive relationships. These abuses were not just directed at her mother but herself and her two brothers (and eventually her 3rd brother later in life). But the abuse did not start there. As she looks further into her past, she see that her mother never had the mother/daughter
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Heather
Jun 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
Overall an interesting read...

This was actually helpful for me in many ways to read. I have compassion for Nancy and understand because I'm a survivor, I don't forgive and am still working on healing me.
Saying that I have to admit I did have a issues that frustrated me while reading this book. She stated repeatedly....No one helped her and her brothers while she was in the home. She was dumb founded by that as she should be BUT knowing no one had or would help why didn't she help Randy and Brand
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Diane Mariel
Dec 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
Healing Before Forgiveness

This was a truly sad experience with a lot of pain and disappointment the author had to suffer through due to a non committal, selfish parent. I felt that there seemed to be some things the author held back but regardless of what she wanted to tell, however the point is she has the right to put herself above forgiving the perpetrator. Healing is definitely necessary in order to properly forgive. The burden of a bad conscience should you forgive before you are mentally r
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Betty Mason
Sep 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Forgiveness! I liked this book because rarely are you able to books that deals with abuse within the family.

I would recommend this to people who are hurting because of discord in the family unit. I have found that disequilibrium is caused by many factors within the family structure. Familys that have inherent problems due to unhealthy structures often are unable to address problem that cause disequilibrium within the family unit. Counseling is often required to address those problems. There some
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Joy
Jun 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Healing Process

It's heartbreaking what Nancy and her brothers went through, sad that since she was the one that finally strong enough to stand up for revenue they suffered that she basically shunned by her family. But she was strong enough to not only break the cycle of abuse but nice on with her life. A mother myself I can't for the life of me understand how a mother can stand by and watch her kids be abused and abuse them as well blaming Nancy & not owning up to her part in it , even her b
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Julia Bell
May 06, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book was different in that it was part autobiography and part an introspective journey into forgiveness. The beginning was quite harrowing and made me feel angry towards a mother who puts her own selfish needs above her children. I had an overwhelming need to protect those children.
I do agree with the author in that forgiveness is difficult when the abuser doesn't acknowledge their wrongdoing and this actually demeans the abused and makes healing so difficult.
I enjoyed this story despite
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Janie Anderson
Oct 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
Terrific read from a woman from an abusive childhood trying to put herself back together as an adult.

I have to agree with her in that forgiveness is not always the healthier thing to do when you have been abused. A great deal depends on your current relationship with your abuser(s) and the abusers ability to recognize their part in the abusing.

For those of us who were victims of mental, physical or other abuse as children this is a book that may be very hard to read but also one that forces yo
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Amie
Jan 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A Heart Wrenching Story of Survival and Conquest

This book addresses a subject that is often "taboo" in society today. I like that it was told in 'first person" so you actually feel the pain of physical and mental abuses. I like that the approach to healing is outlined so that eventually, you may be able to forgive. I recommend this book to all survivors, male or female who carry the pain of abuse deep within their heart.
Shirley
Dec 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction-abuse
Healing oneself

Nancy has grown up in an abusive relationship. Her bond with her mother never happened. After her father passed away she had one abusive stepfather after another. She , however, felt that her mother put the blame for the abuse on her. In order to heal she had to find validation of the abuse and self worth for herself. This book is a story of that journey.
Lizzie Winns
Aug 16, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: child-abuse
This book was short but long winded

It was sad to hear of the abuse the author experienced as a child and teenager. But the rest of the book was mostly her thoughts feelings and inner voices. It was very informative and provided resources to people who are going thru the same thing.
Julie Simmons
Feb 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
A honest look at childhood abuse/sexual abuse

I found this author's raw honesty in her recovery from brutal abuse/sexual abuse and her methods refreshing and hopeful for those who suffer from this very real and devestating problem.
Debbie Clinton Holden
The beginning chapters of the book are realistic and sad. As I continued to read the book, I didn’t enjoy that the main character yet was still acting like a wounded child as a adult. It made me feel that women are weak.
lea lynn
Nov 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Applaude

For Matthias hit close to home although my own abuse is altogether different. In my own way I have been able to forgive but the anger still is there. To say I would shed a tear if something happens to her would be a lie, Thank you
Traceylee
Mar 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Why

Great book to explain the hurt so the abuser outed on others and why it is hard to forgive. Helps you discover how to find your peace
Jennifer Botelho
Mar 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Read this book!

Nancy eloquently relates her personal experiences and provides abuse survivors with a solid foundation in order to begin healing. Thank you!



Devona Hogans
Dec 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Amazing Perspective!

I am so appreciative of your perspective! I needed to hear this as I have forgiven my parents over and over only to be disappointed!!!
Jennifer Reynolds
Nov 13, 2018 rated it liked it
Glad that Nancy has figured out her process in healing. Hopefully her family relationships will mend one day especially with her siblings.
Masela Draper
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Nov 24, 2018
Monica Bonner
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Oct 23, 2018
Sheila
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Dec 29, 2018
Sandra Erickson
rated it it was ok
Dec 08, 2017
Lisa Vikell
rated it it was ok
Dec 26, 2017
Ashley
rated it it was amazing
May 29, 2019
drug trafficking
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Michelle Ericson
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Renee Coffman
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Apr 14, 2018
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“In order to grieve—I needed to “unlearn” the way I learned to ignore my agony.” 2 likes
“In the limousine on the way to my father’s graveside services, I started to cry. My mother slapped me and told me to stop crying. I lacked a model to show me how to feel compassion for my pain.” 2 likes
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