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So You Want to Talk About Race

Ijeoma Oluo

4.52 · Rating details · 66,086 ratings · 8,101 reviews

In this breakout book, Ijeoma Oluo explores the complex reality of today's racial landscape--from white privilege and police brutality to systemic discrimination and the Black Lives Matter movement--offering straightforward clarity that readers need to contribute to the dismantling of the racial divide

In So You Want to Talk About Race, Editor at Large of The Establishment ...more

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Hardcover, 248 pages

Published January 16th 2018 by Seal Press

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Jan 18, 2018 Gary Moreau rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

What author would write a book with a target audience that is likely to consider reading it, much less paying for it, akin to wishing for a root canal? Apparently, Ijeoma Oluo.

I am a white, sexagenarian, male, and former CEO. I am, therefore, a r#cist. (And yes, I am being sensitive to the censors who will look at this before posting it.) And I accept that because this isn’t about me. My personal tolerance is irrelevant. If a picture says a thousand words, an action is worth ten thousand pictur ...more

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Jul 14, 2020 _ngallagher rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I really can’t even begin to tell you how valuable this reading experience was for me. Each chapter focuses on a lesson/topic: cultural appropriation, the school-to-prison pipeline, microagressions, the minority myth, and so much more. She starts each chapter with a story/personal experience that helps to ground you in empathy (because you’re reading a lived experience) and then transitions into the definitions/learning. This is a book I will continue to revisit because of how valuable it was!!! ...more

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Dec 13, 2017 Kara Babcock rated it it was amazing

Shelves: netgalley, own, favourites, antiracism, culture, 2017-read, non-fiction

Do you ever accidentally inhale a book? Like, you meant to read it with your eyes, but, whoops, suddenly there it is, lodged in your esophagus and now you have to go to the hospital and explain, in various gestures, how you breathed in an entire book? This happens to me more often than I would like to admit. So You Want to Talk About Race, by Ijeoma Oluo, is just the latest instance. Thankfully, this was an eARC from NetGalley (thanks Perseus Books) and not a physical volume—though I’m certainly ...more

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Nov 05, 2019 Monica rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: aoc, kindle_nonfiction, pub-2018, female-author-nonfic, pub_2010s, aoc-female, nonfic_challenge-2019, borrowed, racial-matters, soc-sci-politics

I have a huge interest in race, diversity, inequality and how it applies in America. I wanted to discover a book that I could recommend to friends and to people that I think are genuinely interested in understanding how people of color often think and feel and to be able to inhabit/formulate/grok a point of view that might be different from their own. On the whole, I expected to understand the points of view Oluo was presenting from the beginning and I didn't anticipate that the book would have I have a huge interest in race, diversity, inequality and how it applies in America. I wanted to discover a book that I could recommend to friends and to people that I think are genuinely interested in understanding how people of color often think and feel and to be able to inhabit/formulate/grok a point of view that might be different from their own. On the whole, I expected to understand the points of view Oluo was presenting from the beginning and I didn't anticipate that the book would have much to broaden my own horizons.

I am an African American woman in the middle of my 50s. I gotta tell you at my age it feels like I've seen enough systemic race and gender discrimination to last a lifetime (and it has). How could Oluo possibly possess the depth of experience my 15 + more years of life have yielded? Then she said this:

"But as I got older, as the successes I had reached for slowly became a reality, something inside me began to shift. I would try to make my voice quieter in meetings and I couldn’t. I would try to laugh off the racist jokes and I couldn’t. I would try to accept my boss’s reasons for why I could have my promotion but not my raise, and I couldn’t. And I started talking."

and this:

"I had started to see myself, and once you start to see yourself, you cannot pretend anymore."

OK, so she was in my brain last week. She gets how I feel. But why write a book to white people about POC feel?

These are very scary times for a lot of people who are just now realizing that America is not, and has never been, the melting-pot utopia that their parents and teachers told them it was. These are very scary times for those who are just now realizing how justifiably hurt, angry, and terrified so many people of color have been all along. These are very stressful times for people of color who have been fighting and yelling and trying to protect themselves from a world that doesn’t care, to suddenly be asked by those who’ve ignored them for so long, “What has been happening your entire life? Can you educate me?”

And there you have it. These are within the first 15 pages of the book. The book is divided into 15 sections each addressing various points about white privilege. The sections explain things like defining race, cultural appropriation, intersectionality, microaggressions, systemic oppressions, school to prison pipelines, police brutality, cultural stigmas, checking one's privileges etc.

Overall I enjoyed it and thought it was a good book. It was like the documentation one encounters when starting a new prescription drug. A guide for folks to try to engage on the matters of race in an enlightening and productive way. It describes the problem and a solution with accompanying steps and also lists some side effects. Yes, I know this is an imperfect analogy, but a deep analysis of the book would be a book of roughly the same length and basically I agree with her on all her points. To me being able to understand race, talk about race, talk about privilege etc is not going to be in just one book. This book is one tool for the tool bag when engaging on the subject. Because the differences are systemic and ingrained and cultural in every facet of our lives; race looms large over almost all of the problems that exist today. It will probably be a large issue 100 years from now. It most certainly was 100 years ago as it was 200 years ago and so on. James Baldwin wrote

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

The race problem cannot be solved unless we address it. And we are just now in the the 21st beginning to open an honest conversation about race. And of course talking about it is hard because it doesn't allow one to pretend it doesn't exist. If there is one thing that describes the American psyche today, it is the word "uncomfortable". We are in an uncomfortable state. As Anonymous once said

"When one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression"

And frankly even this middle-class, Black woman has become accustomed to privilege and Oluo reminds me to check myself.

The whole book is an education though admittedly more for white people who have taken the first step in acknowledging that they don't understand racial issues and that they need to. But also for anyone who has been the target of systemic oppression. Oluo reminds us that

Systemic racism is a machine that runs whether we pull the levers or not, and by just letting it be, we are responsible for what it produces. We have to actually dismantle the machine if we want to make change.

Agreed. Another thing we agreed upon is this:

In a hostile world, people of color have the right to cut off contact with people who have harmed them. They do not have to stick around to see all the progress you’ve made.

It is seriously difficult for people to understand the amount of pain and hurt and genuine disgust that I feel in many ways about the systemic racism, its violence and injustice and it's affect on my life and the people I care about. This includes my white, lifelong friend who would hang the moon for me if she thought it would make me happy. She didn't think she saw color until Obama. That time frame illuminated issues that we are still trying to overcome (both my friend and I and all of America). Racism is ugly and persistent and silent and sinister and it destroys everything. Until we all can learn how to address it, there will always be social unrest. Absolutely no one (of any race) gets a pass. Oluo points out that even through intersectionality we are all perpetrators of racism in some form. Every generation thinks they are better than the one before them, only to grow to age 40 50 and find out those systemic, cultural elements/stigmas/mores are still there, very pervasive and persistent and they are within us. Oluo is trying to help uncover a path. Tall order.

4+ Stars

Read on kindle ...more

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Feb 18, 2018 Trish rated it it was amazing

Recommended to Trish by: Kara Babcock

Shelves: america, nonfiction, necessary, race

People of every race are going to read this book—at least I hope they are. It is not written just for people still denying that racism exists in America today, but for people who know it does but do not recognize the myriad ways it manifests. Oluo writes so clearly and simply, this book just a pleasure to read, despite addressing emotionally sensitive material. It is so well-conceived and executed that one could use it as a handbook for group discussion, one or two chapters a meeting, talking ov People of every race are going to read this book—at least I hope they are. It is not written just for people still denying that racism exists in America today, but for people who know it does but do not recognize the myriad ways it manifests. Oluo writes so clearly and simply, this book just a pleasure to read, despite addressing emotionally sensitive material. It is so well-conceived and executed that one could use it as a handbook for group discussion, one or two chapters a meeting, talking over what she has presented.

Those discussions can be within one's own group, and do not need to include people outside one's race unless they want to be there, e.g. white people should be talking to white people. We have a lot to discover about ourselves, our culture, how our political and economic systems affect racist ideas. She gives us the tools to begin that work, and suggests that we not make black people the sounding boards for our own anxieties—anxieties about how we are perceived, or mistakes we may have made or…whatever. It's not about us.

Oluo’s book builds on earlier books on this theme in the best way possible: You Can’t Touch My Hair by podcaster Phoebe Robinson, and Why I Am No Longer Talking to White People About Race by British journalist Reni Eddo-Lodge, were both enormously helpful in raising some of the issues Oluo addresses with such clarity. Oluo organizes the material so that we are focused on behaviors or questions we will recognize if we have thought about these issues at all, such as "How do I talk to my mother about racist jokes she makes?" "Is police brutality really about race?" "What are microaggressions?" "Is it race or class that separates us?" "What is intersectionality?" "I was called out for being racist but I don’t know what I did wrong."

Oluo suggests ways to approach these questions, and tells us what is not okay. She says there are basic rules, which we might understand to be immutable rules:

--It is about race if a person of color thinks it is about race.

--It is about race if it disproportionately or differently affects people of color.

--It is about race if it fits into a broader pattern of events that disproportionately or differently affects people of color.

While Oluo will concede that in the context of the points made above, “just about everything is about race…” Pause here. This is such a critical point that is too easily missed. White people do not generally talk about race, do not think about race because they are in a white supremacist society. Understand this to mean that white is privileged in our society, and until recently was the largest population group, using their own means of measuring “white.” White is a race, like other races. We just haven’t had to think about it as such.

Oluo goes on to say “…almost nothing is about race.” Pause again. That would be true also. Race doesn’t even show up genetically. White Americans have more genetic difference with other Europeans than we do with Black Americans. It’s culture and context that rubs us differently. But Oluo goes through all this carefully, spending some time defining what racism is. She warns us that talking about race will make us uncomfortable. We need to forgive ourselves if we make mistakes, but we also have to forgive others who are trying to understand what they do not now understand.

“You’re going to screw this up,” Oluo tells us, but you can prepare, and try to lessen the amount of times you get it wrong. She helps by talking this out. This is not easy stuff. Racial justice activist Debby Irving agrees. Just when we think we understand what privilege is, we might discover we don’t know how to explain it, or give examples of it, or even recognize it immediately. We need to change something so basic as our vocabulary, and everyone who has learned a new language knows how hard that can be. Our behaviors are often habituated, learned when we were children, and some need to change. Change is hard, but not impossible.

Oluo sticks with the practical ways she has lived with and uncovered her own lack of understanding around race--for instance, not making enough effort to understand what underlies the term Asian American. That particular chapter, “What is the model minority myth?” is enormously informative. We learn the large number of sub-groups fall under the category of Asian American, and how they are doing in our economy.

It seems hard to believe this book came out only a month ago, in January 2018. I am so thrilled there is such useful material now to help us with our own conversations with family, friends, and colleagues about race. I recommend buying this one. You will be grateful for this resource. You will probably need to refer to it again and again, or pass it around, when your conversations raise some of the questions Oluo deals with here.

...more

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Jun 01, 2020 Tucker (TuckerTheReader) rated it really liked it

Shelves: poc, nonfiction, social-commentary

The following is partly a review but mostly a discussion of racism and privilege because, yes, I'd like to talk about race:

Am I racist?

This question hit me as I was sitting on my phone scrolling Instagram. Around the end of May 2020, George Floyd's death took the world by storm. Within hours, my feed was filled with #BlackLivesMatter and black screens. I got a message saying "[Removed for privacy] tagged you in a story". Said story was a story chain where someone tags a few other people and ...more

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Jan 23, 2019 Youp rated it did not like it

Short version:
Probably the biggest crap I have ever read.

Longer version:

So You Want To Talk About Race is a waste of time, money and brain cells for anyone who comes into contact with it. Anyone with the smallest ability for critical thinking will find no need for this garbage, and those infected with the intersectionality virus are the proverbial choir being preached to. Every page is filled with hypocrisy, nonsensical jibberish and logical fallacies. Some of the 'gems':

- The 'lived experience Short version:
Probably the biggest crap I have ever read.

Longer version:

So You Want To Talk About Race is a waste of time, money and brain cells for anyone who comes into contact with it. Anyone with the smallest ability for critical thinking will find no need for this garbage, and those infected with the intersectionality virus are the proverbial choir being preached to. Every page is filled with hypocrisy, nonsensical jibberish and logical fallacies. Some of the 'gems':

- The 'lived experience' of a person of color (POC) is unimaginable for non-POC's. This makes a POC always right when claiming something is racist, since white people cannot possible fathom what it means to be non-white. Somehow, however, it's perfectly possible for a POC to understand the lived experience of a white person. I'll give you a hint of that experience: it's a non-stop ride on the wave of white privilege from cradle to the grave.

- The author, in chapter 2, speaks about discussing an issue with her friend. When that friend doesn't share her viewpoint, the author realizes this is not someone she can talk to, because she cannot truly be herself. That's what true friends are: they share all of your opinions, else why would you want to interact with them?

- Racism is defined by a system of power, whatever that means. In practice, it means that only white people can be racist, since they own the power monopoly. POC are just poor, helpless victims. So if you call someone a cracker, it's okay, as opposed to calling someone the N-word. Calling someone the N-word could literally get them killed. If someone accuses you of being racist against white people, they are simply feeling guilty or confused. They are trying to shut you down. Just walk away, because these people don't want to have a productive conversation in which you can educate them.

- It's super important to make more friends of different races. Because that's how you make friends: look for them based on racial quota. It's unclear to me if the author wants POC to find more white friends.

- The author's mother, God bless her heart, is a white person. She is very kind and nice (according to the author). BUT, she is also white. To quote the author: "She is exhausting. My mother does not think before she speaks". Here's another quote about her mom: "I love my mom dearly, but I've been rolling my eyes at her for 36 years". It speaks volumes of someone's character when they're willing to talk about their mother like this. It hilariously hypocritical when the author is annoyed at her mother for wanting to talk about race with her daughter ("Why does my mom want to keep talking about race with me?"), only to state several paragraphs later that she cannot stop herself from talking about race ("I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT RACE").

- Racism is also, apparently, when something bad disproportionally affects a certain group. For example: racism is when teachers only want to have meetings during school hours. Don't they know that POC are so busy working that they can only meet after school hours? It's also racist when your employer doesn't allow ethnic hairstyles, like for example the military. I'm not making this up. These are actual examples from the book.

There are plenty more examples of idiocy to be found spread throughout SYWTTAR, mixed in with recycled Marxistic claims of power and oppression. It's tiresome, and could easily pass for satire to those unfamiliar with the intersectionalist mindset. There is not a single original thought in this book, just the same tedious repetition of ill-defined phrases such as 'white privilege', 'micro-aggressions' and 'lived experience'. The author is simply a spokesperson for her radical hivemind, instead of an individual with ideas and concepts of her own.

Perhaps the worst thing about this work is the 'solutions' it offers. It comes down to 'educate people about this. If they have a different opinion they are part of the problem'. It's exactly this behavior that makes it harder and harder to distinguish between actual problems in society and the claims of ideologues. Because when borderline everything is racist, actually nothing is.

Don't buy into the nonsense of SYWTTAR or similar books. Arguments should be valued by their logic, not by the arbitrary characteristics of the person making the argument. If we judge So You Want To Talk About Race by that standard, it's a worthless waste of words. ...more

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Jun 29, 2020 emma rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, reviewed, library, recommend, non-ya, diverse, 4-and-a-half-stars

i am not going to review this beyond saying that this is an absolute must read book. for everyone.

---------------

as i finish up my month of reading Black authors, this one's for all my white people out there: if you think the solution to ending racism is reading a certain book or combination of books, you have a lot more work to do! this is only the start.

---

i am spending this month reading books by Black authors. please join me!

book 1: The Stars and the Blackness Between Them
book 2: Homegoing
bo ...more

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Jun 10, 2019 Jenna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: wake-up, race, non-fiction

"You are either fighting the system, or you are complicit. There is no neutrality to be had towards systems of injustice—it is not something you can just opt out of."

Sometimes you read a book so powerful and so important that you wish everybody would read it. So You Want to Talk About Race is one of those books. I highlighted so many sentences and entire paragraphs that I'm glad it's a Kindle version and not a print book. It is such a compelling and thought-provoking read and I learned a g "You are either fighting the system, or you are complicit. There is no neutrality to be had towards systems of injustice—it is not something you can just opt out of."

Sometimes you read a book so powerful and so important that you wish everybody would read it. So You Want to Talk About Race is one of those books. I highlighted so many sentences and entire paragraphs that I'm glad it's a Kindle version and not a print book. It is such a compelling and thought-provoking read and I learned a great deal from it. Ijeoma Oluo writes passionately about racial issues and racial injustice, about systemic racism in America and the horrible effects they have had and continue to have on people of colour. She provides clear explanations of exactly what racism is and shows why all white people are guilty of it, no matter how insistent we are that we are not. She discusses intersectionality, showing the complex ways in which people either have privilege or do not. For instance, I am a cis-gender white woman. As such, I have benefits and opportunities that are not available to transgender people and people of colour. She encourages us not to focus on the identities that give us less privilege, but to always look for and be aware of the things that grant us privilege and unfair advantage over others. I found Ms. Oluo's definition of privilege to be very helpful: "Privilege, in the social justice context, is an advantage or a set of advantages that you have that others do not. These privileges are not due 100 percent to your efforts (although your hard work may indeed have helped), and the benefits of these privileges are disproportionately large or at least partially undeserved when compared to what the privilege is for.

I loved this book because it made me think and encouraged me to look more deeply into myself. It made me more aware of the ways in which I might be showing my racism without even knowing it. Cultural appropriation is another topic that I found to be very helpful. It reminded me of how, back in my 20s (many years ago!), I used to wear a bindi on my forehead because I thought they were very beautiful. Once, an Indian woman let me know that she was offended that I was wearing it. I was shocked. I didn't understand why she wouldn't be pleased that I liked something in her culture enough to adopt it for myself. I wondered if maybe it was just because she was elderly that she was offended. Thankfully, though I didn't understand at the time, I had enough sense to go home and throw them all away. I figured that even if she was just being over-sensitive (she was not, but in my ignorance I thought that at the time), I still did not want to do something that would cause another person offense or harm. Ms. Oluo helped me see why I was wrong and why this woman was offended and had every right to be. As she explains, cultural appropriation is "is the expectation that a dominant culture can just take and enjoy and profit from the beauty and art and creation of an oppressed culture, without taking on any of the pain and oppression people of that culture had to survive while creating it."

There are several instances in this book where I had to pause for awhile to take it all in, ponder it, look unflinchingly and honestly at myself. Is it fun? Nope. Does it feel good to see where I am wrong? Absolutely not. However, "the alternative to not being made aware of your privilege (no matter how it may sting) is your continued participation in the oppression of others." . Discomfort on my part is nothing compared to what people of colour suffer every day in this country.

If we truly are against racism and want to change the system, if we truly do want equality for everyone, then we must start with ourselves. And talk. And be open to criticism from others. Listen to people of colour (and other minorities). Stop being so defensive and insisting that our intentions are good. If you hurt someone, you hurt them. That does not change even if you had good intentions.

So, yes, examine yourself and talk about race, but also act. If we truly want change, we will not be content to sit on the sidelines and allow injustice to happen. Ms. Oluo concludes the book with ways in which we can each do our part to put an end to racism. I am so grateful that there are books like this and commend the people of colour who are bravely speaking out and about these issues, who are putting themselves out there to help us learn. This book is a must-read for white people, but I think people of colour may find it helpful as well, particularly the parts on intersectionality. There are so many other things I could write about this book but this review has become lengthy and I would recommend that you who are reading this (if any have stuck with it this long!) read the book instead. If you find yourself balking at the notion that you too are racist (white reader), then perhaps you could start with reading White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism and then move on to this book. Both are extremely important and I'm glad I read White Fragility first. However, I think So You Want to Talk About Race is even more important and I learned even more from it. If you find yourself balking or digging in your heels and muttering to yourself all the reasons you're not racist or have good intentions, stop and "Ask yourself: Am I trying to be right, or am I trying to do better?" . If you are trying to do better, then this is the book for you. ...more

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Dec 06, 2019 Mario the lone bookwolf (semi reviewing hiatus ) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 0-social-progress, 0-feminism-equality

This work goes deep to the core of the problems and dismantles the grievances that are still causing an unnecessary separation in many of the wealthiest nations on earth.

The book should be read by everyone but is especially useful for white people who want to try to avoid making mistakes in getting active and to especially realize blind spots that could stay undetected. That just a few decades ago all Western institutions were racist, white supremacists that build a world for their people and th ...more

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Jun 28, 2020 Gabby added it

Shelves: read-in-2020, audiobooks-i-listened-to, memoir-or-nonfiction, reviewed

“Being privileged doesn't mean that you are always wrong and people without privilege are always right. It means that there is a good chance you are missing a few very important pieces of the puzzle.”

I am so glad I finally got around to reading this book this month, I listened to the audiobook and I feel like that is the best way to consume this book. Ijeoma Oluo has such an incredible way with words and this book is very powerful and reminds me how much words matter. This isn't my first anti-ra ...more

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Aug 03, 2020 Elyse Walters rated it it was amazing

Audiobook....narrated by Bahni Turpin

This was an incredibly valuable book — clear, direct, informative, educational, insightful, easy to understand, intensely personal and full of captivating advice in a graceful and easily accessible prose. As we manage ourselves — engage in the conversations about race and confront the challenges we face — this book will help all of us with much-needed common sense.

Ijeoma Oluo, Nigerian American author, ( named on of the most influential people in Seattle), h ...more

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Aug 17, 2019 Bill Kerwin rated it really liked it

Shelves: 21st-c-amer, politics, black-studies

There are timeless books. Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me is a timeless book. Then there is another category of books I would call “books for our time.” And Between the World and Me is that kind of book too.

But consider Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race. It is definitely a book for our time, yet I doubt many people—me included—would ever consider it a timeless book. Yet paradoxically, Oluo’s book may be an even more important book for certain people to read than any of Mr.
There are timeless books. Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me is a timeless book. Then there is another category of books I would call “books for our time.” And Between the World and Me is that kind of book too.

But consider Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race. It is definitely a book for our time, yet I doubt many people—me included—would ever consider it a timeless book. Yet paradoxically, Oluo’s book may be an even more important book for certain people to read than any of Mr. Coates’ timeless books.

When I say “certain people” I mean mean old farts like me (I’ve earned the adjective “old” by recently turning seventy; “fart” I earned a long time ago): that is, individuals who aspire to be racially and culturally sensitive but who end up offending people anyway, principally because they grew up in a world where people’s sense of humor was in some ways cruder and harsher, where—except for a classroom now and then—they rarely interacted with black people socially, and that even when they did they never gave a thought to the fact that white people might not always be on top of the world.

But these days the social world—especially of younger people, which, for us old farts is almost everybody—is different than it used to be. Everywhere we go we hear new terms and phrases: intersectionality, check your privilege, microagression, cultural appropriation, the school-to-prison pipeline, etc. What do they mean, and how do they apply in this new, scary multicultural world?

And there’s another, more immediate reason too. Some of these old farts—I’m one of them—wish they could understand black people better, yet although they may be friendly with a black person or two, they have the good sense to appreciate that continually engaging in such dialogue with clueless old white farts must be exhausting, to say the least.

What to do? Well, they could read this book. So You Want to Know About Race by Ijeoma Oluo.

I know I learned a lot reading it. Oluo is frank about her own experiences, as a woman of color whose mother is white, as a middle-class writer with a privileged position, as a lover of women and as mother of a black son. She talks about many things which well-meaning white people habitually do that drive her and other black people crazy (saying “Can I touch your hair” being near the top), and she explains in great detail—with excellent examples—not only what those words and phrases listed above mean, but how they describe things you encounter every day.

I learned things about myself too. I learned why some comments I’ve made on the internet were met—mercifully, I’m sure—with silence. And checking my privilege has taught me other things too, that have nothing to do with relating to black people. For example, I now know that when my woman friends talk about how they have been wounded by the Catholic Church, that, instead of saying how I too have been wounded by the Church, I should instead just nod sympathetically, and say absolutely nothing.

So, if you are an old fart like me, I think you need to read this book. Maybe you young farts need to read it too. Come to think of it, most of you could maybe stand to read it. Particularly if you’re white. ...more

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Mar 27, 2020 Thomas rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, own-physical, five-stars

An amazing book of essays about race. Ijeoma Oluo strikes an impressive balance between writing bold, uncomfortable truths about racism as well as crafting her essays so that they feel approachable and digestible. She covers a wide range of topics in this collection, including affirmative action, police brutality, the problem with touching black women’s hair, the model minority myth, and more. Some themes I felt across essays include the importance of actually acknowledging race (a bare minimum ...more

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Jun 05, 2020 Bradley rated it it was amazing

Shelves: political, 2020-shelf, non-fiction

I stayed up late into the night reading this.

I was engaged. I loved the writing, the well-formulated arguments, and especially the focus on everyday micro-aggression. Intersectionality is pretty obvious.

So is the institutional racism.

It's not a trigger word. It's a fact.

Add this to soooo0 many small things in our everyday lives whether in conversation or news or even in our own assumptions DESPITE our best intentions, and we will be forced to realize that the institution is within us all.

Ste ...more

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Mar 24, 2018 Mehrsa rated it liked it

Everything she says is true and necessary, but it comes off more as a shallow lecture than anything new or different. I think it could be useful as a primer or to those who don't spend a lot of time reading about race.

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Jun 24, 2019 J.L. Sutton rated it really liked it

Ijeoma Oluo doesn’t simply want us feeling better about ourselves for having read her book; So You Want to Talk About Race is also a call to action. Most compelling is Oluo’s discussion of the damage caused by ‘everyday racism,’ the kind of racist attitudes or behavior that many don’t think really matters. What one person might see as small inconsequential actions have the cumulative weight of life experience. Words and behavior matter. Everyday racism also feeds into an acceptance of the system ...more

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Dec 23, 2017 Stacie C rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2017, e-book-arcs

So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

I loved this book. I finished it in a day simply devouring Oluo’s word. I can relate to so much of what Oluo was sharing and in so many ways it was validating but also depressing. I feel better knowing that I’m not the only person experiencing these microaggressions, working through these issues and surviving day to day but at the same time having these similar lived experiences makes me very well aware of how far we have to come in the U.S. when it So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

I loved this book. I finished it in a day simply devouring Oluo’s word. I can relate to so much of what Oluo was sharing and in so many ways it was validating but also depressing. I feel better knowing that I’m not the only person experiencing these microaggressions, working through these issues and surviving day to day but at the same time having these similar lived experiences makes me very well aware of how far we have to come in the U.S. when it comes to dealing with race, racism and equality.

So You Want To Talk About Race is a really well written, comprehensive look at the issue of race and how race relates to inequality, success, poverty, education and much more. When I took a look at the contents of the book I was blown away because I could recognize immediately that these topics were geared towards having a thorough conversation about race and not just placating people who want to feel like they are putting in the work. She included topics like intersectionality, privilege, affirmative action and addressed them head on, pointing out the arguments in each and encouraging readers to recognize and acknowledge where they stand on these different issues. I was hooked from the first page of the introduction. Oluo has a very straightforward writing style and she is extremely well grounded in herself and her voice. That assuredness allowed Oluo to expose herself and her personal experiences in ways that I could never imagine.

I hope this book speaks to you. I hope this book challenges you and makes you rethink your past experience. And that goes for every person regardless of race, gender, religion or anything in between. There were people that I had in mind while reading this book. Mostly people whose friendships I had to reevaluate in the last year because I realized how much of me they didn’t see and how much of my experience they didn’t recognize. Oluo’s book saw me and saw the struggle taking place right now. I am so thankful for this book and the effect that it could have on those willing to learn, willing to talk and willing to make a change when it comes to race.

Thank you Netgalley for this book in exchange for an honest review. ...more

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Jun 16, 2020 Olivia (Stories For Coffee) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: audiobook, nonfiction

This should be required reading for every person.

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Dec 29, 2017 Cynthia rated it liked it

Shelves: netgalley

This book is largely for non-POC who wish to be allies or POC who are in denial of, not aware of or unfamiliar with the systemic racism prevalent in American society. Unlike many other scholarly works on race, this book uses language that is accessible and could even be used in an AP Language course. Actually, it would probably be a great addition to an AP Language course.

Most importantly, it needs to be read far and wide by teachers especially or anyone who works with POC.

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Jun 22, 2020 Leonie rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction

this is gonna be one of my 'non-fiction-books-i-listened-to-on-audio-but-want-to-buy-a-copy-of-for-future-reference'

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Jun 06, 2020 Safa rated it it was amazing

This is not a review. I’m not in the mood to read or review books in light of recent events. All I want to say is that all lives don’t matter until black lives matters. The way George Floyd was murdered is horrifying and heartbreaking. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering his loved ones are going through. It warms my heart that people care enough to march during this pandemic. I hope this movement doesn’t lose momentum and meaningful change finally happens. And if you’re tired of hearing about ...more

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Aug 31, 2020 Alice Lippart rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, read-in-2020

Educational and easy to understand. I think most people would benefit is one way or the other from reading this.

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Jan 31, 2018 Truman32 rated it liked it

So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo’s new book asks. I thought I did, but after reading several chapters I realized no, no I very much did not want to. I think I’d rather talk about my receding hairline, my cholesterol levels, the abnormally large size of my physician’s fingers (the yearly physical is coming up and it will be time once again to check out that ole prostate), just about anything really, because talking about race is uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable.

So You Want So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo’s new book asks. I thought I did, but after reading several chapters I realized no, no I very much did not want to. I think I’d rather talk about my receding hairline, my cholesterol levels, the abnormally large size of my physician’s fingers (the yearly physical is coming up and it will be time once again to check out that ole prostate), just about anything really, because talking about race is uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable.

So You Want to Talk About Race can be considered a manual for white liberals who fret about not working more to end racism as they peruse the shelves at Wholefoods for camel milk, emu eggs, and Kale ice cream. People like me who feel woke but maybe aren’t to the degree they think, and anyway should never be using the word woke in adult conversation under any circumstances.

Oluo goes through a number of racial concepts: white privilege, systemic racism, police brutality, etc. Some of these arguments were complex and eye opening while others I found more remedial (Chapter 9: Why can’t I say the “N” word?, or Chapter 11: Why can’t I touch your hair? ). Overall, the arguments were well thought out and honest if more than a little difficult to digest (who wants to know that they are in fact not carrying their share of the workload in this important fight? As Oluo writes, “If you live in this system of White Supremacy you are either fighting the system or you are complicit.”) And it is frustrating knowing that not living the life of a person of color, I am limited in my understanding of the effects of systemic racism.

While the subject and content in So You Want to Talk About Race is important and essential to our current climate, I struggled with Oluo’s writing. I felt on numerous occasions I was reading a dry textbook and finishing the 250 pages was a struggle. As I read, the words on each page seemed to multiply and I found my mind wandering and then having to reread what I had labored to get through the first time in an exhausting Sisyphean effort. I agreed with almost everything Oluo wrote, and the few ideas I struggled with I still understood the logic of her viewpoint, I just could not get into this book.

Feeling guilty, I was going to add an additional star or two solely for the pressing subject matter, but that seemed a little self-indulgent. So three is what we have.

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Jun 03, 2020 Valeria Lipovetsky rated it really liked it

For someone who never talked about race in their household, this is a great starter book.
It will require you to leave ur ego aside (if you're white) and LISTEN. Not everything will resonate but some things will make you question ur deeply engrained views and understanding of how the system is failing POC.

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Jul 06, 2020 Mari rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020, non-fiction, diverse-recs

An excellent primer in talking about race and anti-racism. It is concise, well organized and well thought out. I felt all of the care that Oluo put into patiently and clearly laying out the basics of racism in the US. My main takeaways are the ways she advises responding to racist thoughts and actions, simple easy ways to reframe conversation. I'm finding it harder and harder to not just give into frustration and emotion, so I appreciated this book for its perspective of "this is very hard, and ...more

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Jun 19, 2020 Aoife - Bookish_Babbling rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2020, audiobooked, library-loan

So you want to talk about race?
But are we truly listening?

2020 has made many of us sit up and really take notice...but in all honesty we need to do MORE!
This book is an accessible and insightful place to start our research with fantastic bullet points and guides for how to approach and handle the uncomfortable conversations that often surround race, racism & systemic oppression. While taking the time to explain many terms that tend to cause confusion in a very understandable way, peppered with h ...more

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Jun 03, 2020 Malia rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction

I listened to this as an audiobook and I am glad I did. The narration was very good, but it also made me feel almost as if I was having a conversation with the author, or rather listing to her explain conflicts many of us are blind to and thus, often inadvertently or not, allow to perpetuate. I am reading this book in the wake of the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, and it feels overdue. It is an important and impactful read and one I would recommend to anyone.

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Jun 20, 2018 Antoinette Scully rated it it was amazing

Go. Read. This. Book. Well written, informative, and concerned with the reader learning, not just the author being right.

You should read this:
• If you want to talk about racial topics better
• If you’re great at talking about race
• If you never want to talk about race

Everyone should read this book. This should be the very next book you read.

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Jan 17, 2018 Meg Elison rated it it was amazing

Written tight as a logical proof and with a careful delivery so that the bad news can be heard by we who need to hear it most. A concrete and highly actionable discussion, reinforced with evidence and examples to make sure that the reader can connect. My fellow white folks: you need to read this. And as the introduction advises, sit with your discomfort when it arises. Even those of us who are trying have a lot to learn. Ms. Oluo has done us the favor of making this piece of our education afford ...more

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About Ijeoma Oluo

Ijeoma Oluo

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Ijeoma Oluo is a Seattle-based writer, speaker, and Internet Yeller. She’s the author of the New York Times Best-Seller So You Want to Talk about Race, published in January by Seal Press. Named one of the The Root’s 100 Most Influential African Americans in 2017, one of the Most Influential People in Seattle by Seattle Magazine, one of the 50 Most Influential Women in Seattle by Seattle Met, and ...more