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Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.

4.19  ·  Rating details ·  532 ratings  ·  91 reviews
Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry ...more
ebook, 384 pages
Published January 23rd 2018 by Harper Wave
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Average rating 4.19  · 
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 ·  532 ratings  ·  91 reviews

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Jul 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: how-to
Thank goodness our college library has unlimited renewals for books if there isn't a waiting list. I checked this out and then didn't want to face the fact that I, indeed was experiencing modern loss after my dad died.

Alas, I cracked it out on a camping trip and breezed through it in about 4 hours. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and realizing that I'm not alone in my experiences 7 months after my dad died. It was cathartic to read this, as I don't have many people -- especially locally I can
Sophie Roberts
Jan 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
It helped.
Feb 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Originally published at Reading Reality

I picked this book for a very specific reason. My mother died on December 25, 2017 and this is a book about dealing with grief and loss. Since I’m not quite sure how well I’m dealing with everything, it felt like a good time to see how other people do. Or don’t, as the case may be.

The authors met each other, founded their website, and wrote this book after both of them lost one or both of their parents at a relatively young age. Not necessarily the parents’
Jolissa Skow
Feb 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
These are real, beautiful, human stories about grief. The writers in this book have been affected by grief in so many different ways, and their stories are an intimate look into how their lives have changed as a result of that grief. I highly recommend this book for both those who know grief and for those who just want to understand grief a little better.
Jenni Link
Jan 10, 2020 rated it really liked it
There is no one way to feel grief, no one way to react to it, no set order or timeline to the experience. That's obvious. But it is still soothing to read these short essays by those who have been there.
Theodora Blanchfield
Can I give it six stars??

I hate that I had reason to love this book, but it felt like a warm hug from my mama (whose loss, coincidentally, is why I had reason to read it) alternating with a big belly laugh. There is, indeed, humor in death.

Some books about grief are ultimately productive to read but are painful to get through. Though this book had me in tears several times because I could identify so strongly with the writers, it was easy to get through. In fact, I found myself wanting more.

Annalise Nakoneczny
Feb 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019
This is one of the funniest, sweetest, most raw and poignant books I have ever read on the subject of grief and loss. Maybe that's because every essay is not written by a person who has studied death, loss, or grief, but by people who are dealing with that pain themselves. These essays are real, entertaining, heart-wrenching, and clearly demonstrate what these individuals were looking for when they walked through the darkest places of their lives. There are also hilarious and honest charts and ...more
Shawna Alpdemir
Feb 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
Candid essays by a variety of authors on grief, loss, death, and everything that accompany them from inheritances to triggers, secrets to identity crises. Not too dark, not too funny, I found this approachable and thought-provoking. I was hoping for a bit more of an emphasis on the modern tech implications, since the summary begins with: "At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday ...more
Regina Ross
Feb 07, 2019 rated it liked it
After eight months of trying to avoid loss in books, I decided to just lean into it. I’d never heard of the Modern Loss website but thought the book from its creators seemed like a good place to start. I was expecting self help, but it’s actually a series of essays (some by pseudo-celebrities). While it helped me to realize that grief is a very relatable thing, I didn’t relate to much in the stories. They also veered into seemingly unrelated topics, like sex and sexuality, too often.
Jan 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed reading the essays in this book. They are of course difficult to read if dealing with grief. They will bring out tears for sure. Not only for the story tellers but for your own hidden pain. It was good in the sense that I understood in some ways how we process grief, and the challenges we face after loosing a loved one. I am inspired to write my own modern loss story and process my grief through words.
April Smith
That brought some things up.
Sab Cornelius
Apr 18, 2019 rated it really liked it <--- I do book blogging on the side, so posted my full review here. [Site is currently A WIP]
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book allowed me to feel like I was having the conversations I’m too scared to have in real life. I cried through some of it, laughed through the rest. Would recommend to anyone who feels like they’re “doing it wrong.”
Feb 20, 2018 rated it really liked it
Thanks to Olivia for this.
May 10, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I've read a lot of books about grief over the past year. My guess is if you are reading books about grief, there is a reason for it and at least for me, all have provided some comfort.

There are no complete answers, and no complete roadmaps. But Modern Loss provides an essay, sometimes just short, on a whole host of various scenarios in dealing with the loss of a loved one. Or maybe one who wasn't so loved.

There's a lot here and sometimes (often) I cried, but I also smiled with recognition. Grief
Nate Hawthorne
May 23, 2018 rated it really liked it
Since the brutal and sudden loss of my aunt 2 years ago, I have become fascinated by grief. My theory is that grief is the one thing in your life that you can't mess up because there is no "right way" to do it.

These stories, arranged in categorical chapters, give a glimpse on how others deal with their pain. Each story may not be something that you exactly relate to, but it helps continue the conversation.

This book is important to help reduce the stigma of grief. It is both heartbreaking and
Mar 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: grief
A great compilation for anyone who has experienced grief in any form. I loved the graphics/comics interspersed throughout.
May 09, 2019 marked it as to-read
Shelves: set-aside
I absolutely want to read this book, it's just too hard right now in the midst of grief. The intro had me in tears, and I think I need more time to heal before taking this on.
Apr 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audible-book
We're all going to experience death--in most cases we'll lose plenty of people in our lives before we experience death ourselves.
This book is the fruit of a website called Modern Loss started by two women who lost their parents as young adults.
This book is a collection of essays written by 42 authors about their own experiences with losing a loved one. It spans the gamut of losing parents, losing siblings, losing babies, losing boyfriends and girlfriends, and aunts. Some died of cancer or
Kelsey Stoner
Mar 25, 2018 rated it it was ok
While some of the essays in this book were fantastic, I felt misled by the premise of the book.

"Modern Loss" is marketed as a funny and practical book about grief, written by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner. While Soffer and Birkner offer some essays throughout the book, in reality, "Modern Loss" is an anthology of essays written by various other people. I wish I had known this prior to reading, as I'm sure I would have approached the book differently.

As I said, there were several
Nov 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
While I know that nobody is alone in grief, it can be such an isolating experience. Reading this book made me feel like I was sitting in a support group hearing stories firsthand. Some resonated with me, some did not, but they all made me feel emotions I didn't even know I had in me. I have already gone back to it to re-read pages, hilighted passages, etc. It is a book that you should absolutely gift yourself or a loved one who is grieving.
Staci Woodburn-Henry
May 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
An expertly edited book of essays on grief and loss. Most are about the death of immediate family members. I appreciated the organization by theme. The child ones wrecked me. Some really beautiful writing and only two or three essays in the whole book that I didn’t like. I disagree with the jacket that it’s funny but there were moments of levity.
Feb 02, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction-read
So I feel very misled by this book. Evidently I missed that it was a book of essays by different people, not just the two authors. On one hand, I really appreciated that there were perspectives on multiple types of loss, but...I really was hoping that this was going to be more of a funny perspective. Honestly, I was just expecting something different—and looking forward to it.

The writing is great, which seems about right. And it's incredibly moving. For those of you who I don't keep in touch
Mar 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I am happy-sad that I found this book as it came in with a bunch of new books at the library. This is a collection of essays written by different people grouped together around some general themes like Data, Triggers, Identity, and Secrets. Not every essay resonated with me, but there is a nice mix of advice, truths, anger, pain, and revelations that make the whole worth it.
I particularly liked the essay by Nora McInerny, who lost her husband to brain cancer and co-wrote his viral obituary with
Feb 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2018-books
While this book wasn't exactly what I was expecting, I loved it all the same. Like another reader, I somehow missed that it was a collection of essays from a variety of folks who had experienced a variety of losses. This wasn't a bad thing at all - just not what I was expecting!

I did find that it resonated more with the grief I still feel and deal with regarding the loss of my dad 5+ years ago, versus my mom, who we lost just 6 months ago. I loved that it candidly and realistically discussed the
David Kirschner
Neat collection of short essays on loss. They span the whole gamut from forgettable to outstanding. The book seems to lose steam in the second half, except for the better last sections on journeys and time. The section on triggers stood out as a good one too, and various stories about adoption, disenfranchised grief, sexual bereavement, and others were among my favorites. Since the essays are so short though, I found myself just quickly reading through them. They're over before you know it, and ...more
Apr 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A difficult read. But a book everyone should read. Grief over the death of our loved ones is surely one of the few things that bind all humans together. Far from being a downer, many of the stories in the book, while being touching, or also quite humorous.

This isn't the type of book I normally buy-but I met the authors and listened to their presentation at the Miami International Book Fair, and was impressed enough to buy the book, and I'm glad I did. I'm fortunate enough that my parents are
Jul 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I cannot recommend this book strongly enough for those who have lost loved ones, and for those who have people in their life who are struggling with grief. There is an essay in here for everyone just about and useful tips for the various scenarios that come up when losing a loved one. The last essay, "Double Digits", really spoke to me as I just lost my father unexpectedly in February of this year and reading the essay of a woman who lost her father ten years ago hit me hard. This book is ...more
Craig Bishop
Jul 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2018
A friend of mine pointed out this website to me a few years back after my mom passed away. I had popped in and out for awhile, but had actually forgotten about it until seeing this at the local bookstore. It’s a collection of essays and stories from new and old contributors, focusing on different aspects of grief and loss. I’m probably a bit biased in giving it five stars based on my own personal history, but having read a fair amount of books in this genre over the years, it’s definitely one of ...more
Apr 10, 2018 rated it liked it
A collection of short essays (alongside a series of poignant and hilarious cartoons) from people who have experienced the death of someone close to them - parents, children, siblings, lovers, friends. A wide variety of writers and so a wide variety of experiences, styles, emotional nearness/distance, and quality. I thought it was a bit long, but loved many parts dearly. Essays from the two editors were always devastatingly good, hitting right at the heart of what my own experience of grief has ...more
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