Mazzel tov by Margot Vanderstraeten

Mar 27, 2020 Marc rated it liked it

Shelves: jewish-life, dutch-literature

Margot Vanderstraeten (° 1967) is a Flemish reporter and novel writer. This novel is the autobiographical account of her relation with the Jewish community in Belgium: 30 years ago she worked as a working student for an orthodox Jewish family in Antwerp, supporting their children in their homework. Gradually she became intimately acquainted with the very particular customs of this community. Vanderstraeten particularly struggled with the of paradox of the Jewish obsession to stay under the radar Margot Vanderstraeten (° 1967) is a Flemish reporter and novel writer. This novel is the autobiographical account of her relation with the Jewish community in Belgium: 30 years ago she worked as a working student for an orthodox Jewish family in Antwerp, supporting their children in their homework. Gradually she became intimately acquainted with the very particular customs of this community. Vanderstraeten particularly struggled with the of paradox of the Jewish obsession to stay under the radar, keeping distance of Western society, and at the same time holding on to own dress codes, own shops, own public celebrations, etc. through which they become very visible. Unfortunately, this book hasn’t been translated in English yet. Dutch review below.

Het is al ontelbare keren gezegd: dit is een aangename en boeiende introductie tot de leefwereld van de joden in België. Vanderstraeten put daarvoor uit haar eigen ervaring als werkstudent voor een joodse familie in Antwerpen, 30 jaar geleden, een familie waarmee ze ook nadien contact bleef houden. Het leuke is vooral dat ze ons echt in haar autobiografisch verhaal meeneemt, en door de ogen van de naïeve maar tegelijk erg directe Margot naar de joodse gemeenschap met zijn vele eigen gebruiken en geheimen laat kijken. De focus daarbij ligt onvermijdelijk op haar worsteling met een grote paradox: de obsessie van de joodse mensen om onder de radar te blijven, niet op te vallen en tegelijk het hardnekkig vasthouden aan de eigen identiteit (inzake kledij, man-vrouw-verhouding, eigen feesten enz.) waardoor ze net des te meer opvallen. “Hoe kon een minderheid zich zo nadrukkelijk willen onderscheiden van een meerderheid? (….) Hoe pretentieus – of angstig – moest je daarvoor zijn? Hoe blind voor de eigen geschiedenis: het samenklittende volk was zopas nog vijand nummer één van Duitsland en consorten, maar nu, pakweg veertig jaar later, zocht het nog altijd de afzondering op? In het leger wist iedereen dat een camouflagepak levens kon redden. Maar uitgerekend deze mensen, met een geschiedenis vol vervolging, deden er alles aan om op te vallen?”

Vanderstraeten blijft heel het boek lang worstelen met die paradox. En dan blijkt die familie waar ze voor werkt bovendien nog ‘modern orthodox’ te zijn, dus niet eens tot de radicaalste richtingen zoals de chassidim te behoren; anders was ze er uiteraard nooit binnengeraakt.

Dit boek volgt de chronologische lijn, van 1987 tot nu, maar de auteur heeft de diverse aspecten van het jodendom over het hele verhaal uitgesmeerd. Tot op het laatst blijven de joodse eigenheden haar verbazen en prikkelen. Dat ze ook gevoelige thema’s als de holocaust en de kwestie Israël niet uit de weg gaat, en geregeld een kritische noot plaatst, siert haar. Ze doet dit over het algemeen niet te belerend, al gaat het verhaal op sommige momenten iets teveel over in een reportage. Bovenal blijkt uit de interactie tussen Vanderstraeten en de familie ondanks geregelde wrijvingen een groot wederzijds respect. Dit boek biedt uiteraard geen diepte-analyse, maar het is informatief én aardig om te lezen. Mooi. ...more

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Apr 09, 2019 D rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, dutch

There are many flavors within judaism: from strict Orthodox, over Conservative to the most liberal Reform denominations. This book describes the evolving relationship between a goj, a female student, and a Modern Orthodox Jewish family. The Modern Orthodox denomination combines a strict orthodox observance of the rules and rituals with an acceptance of the modern world and a desire to study non-religious topics and to pursue a profitable professional life, just like (some) non-Jewish people do.

T ...more

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Apr 04, 2020 Sheree | Keeping Up With The Penguins rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I was expecting a cutesy strange bedfellows read, full of funny anecdotes about culture clash and sweet moments of revelation. Mazel Tov is nothing like that. It’s a reserved, but provocative, account of family and religion, and also language, politics, marriage, history, and oppression. The children of the Schneider family are curious, but pious, and in many ways end up teaching Margot more than she teaches them.

An extended review is available at Keeping Up With The Penguins. ...more

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Jan 07, 2021 Fenna Rubingh rated it really liked it · review of another edition

i got everything i wanted out of this book. a beautiful story of friendship between a flemish woman and an orthodox jewish family, evolving from when the children were young, to them becoming adults and having children of their own. by being allowed into their world, this memoir enables you to learn an extraordinary amount about the community. all in all, very very interesting !

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Jun 21, 2020 Tripfiction rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: books-set-in-belgium

Memoirs set in the Orthodox community of ANTWERP
Our review on You Tube: https://youtu.be/m6FHf6SbM2M

The 20 year old author applied for a job to work as a tutor for the four children of the Schneider family (she has changed their name to preserve their anonymity), a modern Orthodox Jewish family living in Antwerp. Her main charge is Elzira, who suffers from dyspraxia and needs quite some work on her self esteem. So the narrative in Part 1 is very much about her experiences in an alien culture and Memoirs set in the Orthodox community of ANTWERP
Our review on You Tube: https://youtu.be/m6FHf6SbM2M

The 20 year old author applied for a job to work as a tutor for the four children of the Schneider family (she has changed their name to preserve their anonymity), a modern Orthodox Jewish family living in Antwerp. Her main charge is Elzira, who suffers from dyspraxia and needs quite some work on her self esteem. So the narrative in Part 1 is very much about her experiences in an alien culture and a growing fondness for young Elzira.

This memoir is of course a peek into a culture that remains very closed to goys (non-Jews) and you can almost feel her wonder and astonishment as she is invited in to experience snippets of their daily lives. Of course she can never be fully initiated, and as a reader you have a sense that she only really sees what she is allowed to see. She discovers that 613 Jewish commandments ideally have to be observed, that the kitchen is utterly kosher and that there is a strict delineation between products: milk products, for example can be ingested before meat but not after (therefore, there can never be an after dinner cheese selection at the end of a meal). She notes some of the Jewish customs that are of particular interest to her, the phylactery (which contains Hebrew texts and is part of morning prayers), for example, and the great reverence accorded to the shtreimel, which is the large hat that some Jewish men wear (as opposed to the kippel/yarmulke, the light skull cap that many religious men choose to wear). She struggles with the disabling clothes that women traditionally have to wear (just imagine trying to riding a bike in a flowing long skirt or wearing capes to go swimming). She is amazed that there is such acquiescence when it comes to some of these punishing, sartorial rules.

She teaches Elzira to ride a bike and actively supports the family’s decision for her to get a pet (this is Dachshund ‘Monsieur’). She notes that is very unusual for a family in the community to have a pet, although dogs are favoured.

Running alongside is the story of the author’s relationship with her current Persian boyfriend and so the contrast of opposing cultures adds an interesting perspective.

In Part 2 time has moved on a few years and she hasn’t really had contact with the family since the children grew up and moved away. She decides to visit them in Israel before some eventually decamp to New York. She lands in Tel Aviv after a chaotic flight and is tutored how to wear the full cover-up clothes (her attempt to bring a long cover-up skirt misfired as it was rather see-through). She is more than encouraged to wear tights in order to blend in with “all the mothers” (and not “all the women”) doing their shopping for Shabbat (The tights are thick and have pronounced seams so that there is no chance that the legs could be mistaken for naked flesh). To be a mother is the highest accolade for a woman in the community, she observes.

And gradually life moves on for all the people who appear in this book. There wasn’t anything revelatory in it, particularly if you are familiar with Unorthodox (Netflix), have seen the film Disobedience starring Rachel Weisz and Rachel McAdams, and read The Marrying of Chani Kaufman (set in London). I think what struck me was the author’s desire to be part of the lives of Schneider family. They were accepting and inclusive as far as they felt they could be, they were delighted to see her when she contacted them. She certainly helped their children move on in their lives. And yet… there was a fundamental sadness that she could never really be included. The pivotal incident for me was when Elzira moved to Israel and the family passed her dog, Monsieur, on to friends to care for him. It deeply disappointed the author that she hadn’t even been considered as his new carer – she had after all spent so much time with the dog and his mistress. And that sort of sums up her experience, and yet she is desperate for more….

It is a narrative of interesting insights, textured by an unrequited need for inclusion and an underlying sadness. Towards the end the family stated that they didn’t really want her to write about her experiences with them, they felt it would be an abuse of loyalty. Grudgingly, they conceded that she should change their names if she were indeed intent on writing her piece. So, after decades of sporadic contact, where did this leave them all? I would be interested to learn more about her motivation for writing her memoirs and was her choice to do so actually going against their specific wishes? ...more

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Sep 15, 2017 Raphael rated it it was amazing

Exceptional read! The author is honest and brilliant. Before its conception I actually felt the need for the presence of this kind of book in the world.
The desperation of the feeling ''why do people make life for themselves harder than it's already designed to be'' versus the need for deeper understanding and mutual respect makes this book as engaging as it is complex. ...more

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Dec 23, 2020 M rated it did not like it · review of another edition

As a Jew, I am always cautiously optimistic when it comes to books about Jews and our communities that are written by gentiles. I felt uncomfortable reading much of this book. I felt there were both implicit and explicit antisemitic views offered throughout this book.

My first point of concern came fairly early, when the author expressed suspicion against Mr Schneider for working in an area near the train tracks in Antwerp, from which many of the area's Jews were being deported to concentration As a Jew, I am always cautiously optimistic when it comes to books about Jews and our communities that are written by gentiles. I felt uncomfortable reading much of this book. I felt there were both implicit and explicit antisemitic views offered throughout this book.

My first point of concern came fairly early, when the author expressed suspicion against Mr Schneider for working in an area near the train tracks in Antwerp, from which many of the area's Jews were being deported to concentration camps. She says, "I grew suspicious. I suspected Mr Schneider of something, I didn't know what." There is no reason for her to be suspicious, he works around the corner from the diamond district, in which he's an active professional member, which the author herself points out. This, combined with antisemitic sentiments shared by her friend ("Jews are like spiders winning their webs", "they plot together") evokes the antisemitic trope that Jews are sly, conniving and, well, plotting.

On several occasions in the book, the author makes comparisons between Jewish people and her grandfather, whose experiences in WWII led him to boycott anything German, people or products. She seemingly can't understand with the Jewish people aren't also boycotting Germany. She goes so far as saying she sometimes saw a Jewish musician's performing in Germany after the war as "treachery", and questions his integrity. Again, this made me very uncomfortable and felt wholly inappropriate, especially coming from someone who's not Jewish herself.

There are a number of other antisemitic tropes that rear their ugly heads in this book, implied and expressed by both the author ("beaky noses" comes to mind) and the people she surrounds herself with. It does need to be said that the author does challenge these on several occasions. However, there were some comments that I frankly felt could've been left out of this book. When on a plane to Israel with rowdy Jews, was it necessary to mention that her boyfriend would've said "They think they're in Gaza"? Was it necessary to question whether she should bring up Palestine to one of the daughters when she's in Israel?

When reading this book, I got the feeling this author has a very 'us' against 'them' world view. I found her to be judgemental and condescending - on several occasions she laughs, wants to laugh or expresses sentiments like 'you've got to be kidding me!' when learning about religious or cultural customs.

But perhaps most interestingly is that she seems preoccupied with the idea that Jews find her 'inferior'. This comes up several times in the book. This seems to be a problem for her, understandably. However, I get the firm impression that *if* the family did find her inferior, the feeling was mutual. On numerous occasions, the author expresses irritation that Jews 'draw attention to themselves'. She defends a teacher who suggests perhaps Jews have some responsibility for antisemitism for not defending themselves and keeping their communities closed. She says the rowdy Jews on the plane "bloody well think they're God Almighty" for pushing the call buttons. Some of the writing felt needlessly aggressive in its tone e.g. "It occurred to me that 'rabid' and 'rabbinate' sounded awfully similar" (Was this really a point worth making?).

The author discusses at length why certain Jewish communities remain closed - comparing their need to keep their identity separate to that of white South Africans, a comparison both insensitive and ignorant. Apartheid segregation was rooted in the deep oppression of other people; pious Jews in closed communities are not oppressing or hurting anybody.

Further, she questions, "How self-righteous - or fearful - do you have to be for that? How blind to your own history?", in this case "that" refers to keeping communities closed. This quote in particular rubbed me the wrong way. At this point in the story, the author knows little to nothing about Judaism, Jewish traditions, Jewish culture or the Jewish way of life, yet she has the audacity to weigh in on these things with so much judgement and condescension? It is particularly rich as she later gets incensed as Mr Schneider questions her choice of reading material, saying: who is he to judge; he doesn't know her. Who, indeed.

I was disturbed by the repeated questioning by the author as to why she was excluded from closed Jewish practices. She seemed to have an almost desperate desire to look into this world that had no interest in including her. At one point, she is upset she can't cook Elzira dinner, saying, "Why should I be deprived of that same enjoyment? Shouldn't hospitality be a two-way process? Or was that the whole point of kashrut: to strengthen one's own identity by excluding the others?" She challenged Jakov on the fact that non-Jews "aren't welcome" in Jewish schools. At a later time she said, "Why are you too frightened to open the doors a little wider, so everyone can peep inside?" Why was it so difficult for this woman to accept that this world doesn't belong to her or other non-Jews? Why are they owed a 'peep inside'? Why could she not accept the explanation given to her by Jakov, the family's son, "We have to look after ourselves, because others will not."

I didn't like the writing style. Some sentences were fragmented, and I didn't enjoy the French peppered throughout the book. It broke the reading flow.

I also struggled to see what the plot was here. Yes, I did feel that the author became a bit more open toward the end, but really - this is a story about a student who worked for a family, which happened to be Jewish, developed relationships with them and kept in touch for a while. All fine and well, but 'an extraordinary friendship'? I don't see it. ...more

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May 31, 2020 Anna Rubingh rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A really beautiful book. Had an interest in learning more about the Orthodox Jewish community after watching and enjoying Unorthodox on Netflix. The book takes place in multiple settings of Antwerp, Israel and New York, adding to its depth, and was multi-faceted, featuring the author’s reservations and struggles about aspects of the Orthodox culture which made it more raw and real. Furthermore, I enjoyed learning more about Iranian culture and the Arab world through her prominent relationship wi ...more

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Jan 19, 2020 Vanya rated it really liked it · review of another edition

My life changed when I first read Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl, her account of living in hiding during the Nazi occupation of Netherlands. Ever since, I have actively sought out works that enhance my understanding of the WWII and the cultural and historical contexts that fomented it. When I first heard of J.S. Margot’s memoir, Mazel Tov, which recounts her experiences of being in close contact with an Orthodox Jewish family, I knew I had to read it. I am glad to report readers that I m My life changed when I first read Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl, her account of living in hiding during the Nazi occupation of Netherlands. Ever since, I have actively sought out works that enhance my understanding of the WWII and the cultural and historical contexts that fomented it. When I first heard of J.S. Margot’s memoir, Mazel Tov, which recounts her experiences of being in close contact with an Orthodox Jewish family, I knew I had to read it. I am glad to report readers that I made the right decision.

Margot, Catholic by birth but an agnostic by belief, takes up the job of tutoring Mr. Schneider’s children. The Schneider family is Modern Orthodox Jewish and many of their practices and rules take Margot by surprise. She perceives many of these rituals as cumbersome and unnecessary. Her relationship with the family has a rocky start as the Schneider’s probe into her relationship with her Muslim boyfriend, Nima, and introduce her to many rules that need to be followed within their household, which she cannot seem to make sense of. But her initial reluctance to engage thaws as she becomes friendly with the children and cultivates a genuine interest in their lives.

Translated from the Flemish by Jane Headley-Prôle, Mazel Tov encapsulates what happens when we are pushed out of the comfort zone of our privileged understanding of the world and the limits of our empathy are tested. It’s about how we respond to people, cultures and religions we barely fathom and don’t necessarily agree with. In the beginning, Margot is insistent about the correctness of her own opinions. But her sense of righteousness blunts as her worldview expands to lend dignity to other stories and ways of life.

As a reader, it was a delight to read Mazel Tov, which led me to question the fallibility of my own biases and assumptions. It made me aware of the need to be open to disparate cultures, arguments and though-processes for it is this acceptance of difference and the other that makes us human. ...more

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Oct 15, 2017 Danny Jacobs rated it it was amazing

An astonishing mustread

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May 20, 2020 Penelope rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This book was chosen for April for the Read Around the World Book Club.
It was a fascinating exploration of a traditional Jewish family in Belgium, a subject I knew nothing about and as I have not visited Belgium that was interesting to further explore too. The author of this memoir was employed to tutor the four children of the family and in becoming especially close to two of them she found herself caught up in a way of life at once both strange to understand but endlessly interesting. Her mist ...more

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Jul 30, 2020 Julie Reynolds rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A rare glimpse into Modern Orthodox Jewish life, this book was beautifully written. I assumed she changed the identity of family members as they requested. That a gentile woman became in a sense an honorary family member was very powerful and touched my heart. Well worth the read.

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Dec 06, 2020 Donna Boyd rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author, for providing me with a digital copy of this book prior to publication in exchange for my honest review. Mazel Tov: The Story of My Extraordinary Friendship with an Orthodox Jewish Family by Margot Vanderstraeten (J.S. Margot) is a warm, funny, honest memoir. It is a story of connections and unlikely friendships formed when a 20 year old student takes on the task of tutoring four children from an Orthodox Jewish family. Undaunted by the fact ...more

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Jul 29, 2017 Inge Quets rated it it was amazing

Easy to read, very accesible, step into the Jewish culture

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Jul 26, 2017 Braekeveldt rated it liked it

Great and interesting story of cross - religious relationships.

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Jan 14, 2018 Anne rated it really liked it

Very interesting look inside the Jewish community!

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Sep 30, 2018 Kristof Verbeke rated it liked it

Very smooth read. Very interesting. Did not learn many new things. More a book about society and its diversity, plurality and multicultural ways then about jews imo.

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Feb 29, 2020 Ellen rated it liked it · review of another edition

Not sure 🤔

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May 25, 2020 Alison rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, biography

I should stop reading memoir*. I really expected to like this, and I really didn't. I have a deep interest in people living lives defined by faith, and how faith interacts with structured belief. And how our broad beliefs impact on our everyday decisions. So this insight into a European Modern Orthodox family was likely to be right up my alley. Unfortunately, everybody in the book annoyed me. It was like a group of people getting frustrated by others not seeing the world as they did - the 'clash I should stop reading memoir*. I really expected to like this, and I really didn't. I have a deep interest in people living lives defined by faith, and how faith interacts with structured belief. And how our broad beliefs impact on our everyday decisions. So this insight into a European Modern Orthodox family was likely to be right up my alley. Unfortunately, everybody in the book annoyed me. It was like a group of people getting frustrated by others not seeing the world as they did - the 'clash' of expectations between Vanderstraeten and the Schneiders are walls of competing worldviews, unresolved by the valuing of diversity. There is scant observation in the book, and even scanter understanding of what motivated the Schneiders faith-based life. I found myself wanting to give her a wake-up - to get her to start listening instead of judging. And the Schneiders to stop lecturing, and consider what their kids might learn from someone different.
I struggled with Vanderstraeten's suspicion that anti-Semitism was exacerbated by what saw as a "setting apart" and what I would see as a decision to commit to public expressions of faith and community, and a religious education. Her suggestion that in dressing distinctly and not attending public schools, the community might be partly to blame for their harassment was deeply unsettling. This may, of course, reflect the differences between the "Multicultural Australia" policy I grew up in, and the European focus on cultural assimilation.
I also struggled with the discussion of Israel, and the way the experiences of Palestinian Occupation, and rising Islamaphobia, and sexual violence and trauma-related breakdown, is viewed through the lens of personal growth. I am probably being unfair here - it is difficult to know how else Vanderstraeten could manage the topic. The issues being raised were so large - her memoir covers a time when some conservative Jews are voting for neo-Fascist parties for complex socio-political reasons. As Europe is now, thirty years later, plagued by a sharp rise in anti-Semitism, that story - and the Intifada and street harassment and economic restructuring that affected it - feels like it either needs to be a focus or be removed, not a sideline in a coming-of-age tale.**
But in the end, that is what memoir does: it is a genre that presents the reflections and the musings of a protagonist. And I am uncomfortably aware that while I could pose and say that memoirs of the relatively privileged are what annoys me, I suspect the deeper truth is that it is memoirs of women like me that do. That maybe I see my own failings too sharply in others.
Either way, this wasn't for me.

*And I will, right after the four or five sitting in my TBR.
**Note to potential commenters: nobody is going to change their mind on these issues based on the comments in this review or thread either :)
...more

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Dec 31, 2020 Sharondblk rated it it was ok · review of another edition

I was given a free e-book by NetGalley and Pushkin Press in exchange for an honest review.
If I had to summarise this book in one sentence it would be: Atheist gets job in orthodox Jewish household, is quite judgemental, learns nothing and exploits the relationships to get a book deal.
It’s billed as a memoir – but a memoir of whom? The author gives very little of herself. The patriarch of the family she is writing about asks her not to write about the family. She reports this, and yet here is tha I was given a free e-book by NetGalley and Pushkin Press in exchange for an honest review.
If I had to summarise this book in one sentence it would be: Atheist gets job in orthodox Jewish household, is quite judgemental, learns nothing and exploits the relationships to get a book deal.
It’s billed as a memoir – but a memoir of whom? The author gives very little of herself. The patriarch of the family she is writing about asks her not to write about the family. She reports this, and yet here is that mess of a book.
There are so many annoying things about this book:
Near the end of the book she claims not to understand the Jewish dietary laws, which is odd, since she explained them half way through the book, and they are not that hard. Make some effort.
The endless explaining about the acts of everyday Jewish life without any depth of understanding (this might be mainly annoying to me because I a Jewish, so I already understand not just the how’s but the why’s that the author never seems to both to investigate).
There is some weird sexism – the author is angry because she catches a bus in Israel and it is separated by gender. Two pages later she’s asking how orthodox women learn to drive when they can’t be in a car with a man. No possible thought to having a female instructor.
There is a lecture about Palestine (two I think) that is shallow and, while not wrong, a very undergraduate way of thinking.
There is no flow, just a series of anecdotes, about a reasonably happy Jewish family, and a judgemental journalist who is “friends” with them while judging them, and later making money selling a book about them, with no indication that anyone is OK with that.
Maybe the book would make more sense if the author had shared more of herself. Why did her relationship break up? Why was she sad that time in New York? Why were they always flying to New York? Why has she fetishized this family and their religion, without bothering to learn anything much about Judaism?
One last niggle – why was book called Mazel Tov? The only mention of that is that they nearly call the dog Mazel Tov. Or is it to congratulate us when we battle our way to the end.
I can’t understand why this book was re-issued. It feels far more dated than the original publication date of 2017, and says far more about the author, her ignorance and biases than the Jewish family she is exploiting here. ...more

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Dec 31, 2020 Sharondblk rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley

I was given a free e-book by NetGalley and Pushkin Press in exchange for an honest review.
If I had to summarise this book in one sentence it would be: Atheist gets job in orthodox Jewish household, is quite judgemental, learns nothing and exploits the relationships to get a book deal.
It’s billed as a memoir – but a memoir of whom? The author gives very little of herself. The patriarch of the family she is writing about asks her not to write about the family. She reports this, and yet here is tha I was given a free e-book by NetGalley and Pushkin Press in exchange for an honest review.
If I had to summarise this book in one sentence it would be: Atheist gets job in orthodox Jewish household, is quite judgemental, learns nothing and exploits the relationships to get a book deal.
It’s billed as a memoir – but a memoir of whom? The author gives very little of herself. The patriarch of the family she is writing about asks her not to write about the family. She reports this, and yet here is that mess of a book.
There are so many annoying things about this book:
Near the end of the book she claims not to understand the Jewish dietary laws, which is odd, since she explained them half way through the book, and they are not that hard. Make some effort.
The endless explaining about the acts of everyday Jewish life without any depth of understanding (this might be mainly annoying to me because I a Jewish, so I already understand not just the how’s but the why’s that the author never seems to both to investigate).
There is some weird sexism – the author is angry because she catches a bus in Israel and it is separated by gender. Two pages later she’s asking how orthodox women learn to drive when they can’t be in a car with a man. No possible thought to having a female instructor.
There is a lecture about Palestine (two I think) that is shallow and, while not wrong, a very undergraduate way of thinking.
There is no flow, just a series of anecdotes, about a reasonably happy Jewish family, and a judgemental journalist who is “friends” with them while judging them, and later making money selling a book about them, with no indication that anyone is OK with that.
Maybe the book would make more sense if the author had shared more of herself. Why did her relationship break up? Why was she sad that time in New York? Why were they always flying to New York? Why has she fetishized this family and their religion, without bothering to learn anything much about Judaism?
One last niggle – why was book called Mazel Tov? The only mention of that is that they nearly call the dog Mazel Tov. Or is it to congratulate us when we battle our way to the end.
I can’t understand why this book was re-issued. It feels far more dated than the original publication date of 2017, and says far more about the author, her ignorance and biases than the Jewish family she is exploiting here.
...more

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Apr 27, 2020 Ruth rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

How does a rebellious College Student develop a close relationship with a family consumed in their traditional world?
Reading Margo’s memoirs felt like an adventurous journey into the world of an Orthodox Jewish family.
For the past decade I have visited my son who lives in Brussels. On my arrival, I’ve often met up with Hasidic/Orthodox Jews in the Brussels Airport. As I observed the distinct appearance of Hasidic/Orthodox Jews, I often wondered about this culture. They appear to be like a higher How does a rebellious College Student develop a close relationship with a family consumed in their traditional world?
Reading Margo’s memoirs felt like an adventurous journey into the world of an Orthodox Jewish family.
For the past decade I have visited my son who lives in Brussels. On my arrival, I’ve often met up with Hasidic/Orthodox Jews in the Brussels Airport. As I observed the distinct appearance of Hasidic/Orthodox Jews, I often wondered about this culture. They appear to be like a higher class of Amish people. They look very elegant all dressed in black (including infants), and the men wear fancy tall woolen black hats with purposeful long curly sideburns. It would be nice just to initiate a conversation with one of them if time allowed, and if it were appropriate. However, reading Margo’s memoirs lead me on my own expedition into the world of Orthodox Jews from an outsider’s point of view. I put myself in Margo’s mini skirt and wonder how would I feel if it were I tutoring the children of this family. The questions she had were some of the questions I would have asked, such as, ”Do you feel isolated from this contemporary world?” Just when you think that there would be no place for a Catholic woman who is also dating a Muslim, Margo forges a very close friendship with Jakov, the son, and Elzira the daughter. They come to value Margo’s wisdom of the modern world, and at the same time she struggles to understand their strict traditions. As the children go through coming of age, they attempt to make choices using their ancient beliefs to fit into modern society. With the help of Margo they become trusted friends as they make adult decisions. I loved the back and forth amongst their relationship as they compare their worlds. Their conversations are thought provoking in trying to understand each other. I catch myself wondering why a community would want to live by so many restrictions. Then I wonder if restrictions are really that confining, or just inviolable. As I ventured through the middle age city of Antwerpt with Margo and Elzira, I learned many interesting 17th Century facts. I’m excited to go back to Belgium and visit more places, like Zuiderterras.
This is a compelling topic and an easy read. I would have loved to been able to discuss these memoirs in a book club, or use them in a high school classroom for engaging instruction in understanding culture clashes.
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Feb 23, 2021 miss.mesmerized mesmerized rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Even though the interview went rather poorly, the Schneider family employs the narrator as a tutor for their four children. The two boys cope with school quite well, but the oldest daughter Elzira struggles and needs support. The children do not go to an ordinary school, just like the family is not the ordinary Antwerp family. They are Orthodox Jews and with her tutoring job, the doors to a completely new world open for the young student. Gradually, she does not actually become a member of the f ...more

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Feb 24, 2021 Alex Wilson rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley-reads, 2021-read

Some of this book was great while other parts were quite jarring, so overall 3 stars for me.

I really liked the descriptions of the different cultures, languages and architecture in Antwerp, and the insights into the backgrounds of the family and the author - it was very interesting to read how their chance collision of very different worlds resulted in a long-term friendship.

Other things however, I didn’t like at all - it seemed that the author lacked any awareness or respect for some aspects of ...more

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Feb 16, 2021 Annie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Originally posted on my blog: Nonstop Reader.

Mazel Tov is an engaging and warm memoir of the author's transformative friendship with a Jewish family. Originally published in Dutch in 2017, this English language translation is due out 23rd Feb 2021 from Pushkin Press. It's 320 pages and will be available in paperback and ebook formats.

This is precisely as described: a warm friendly real memoir of the power of friendship. It emphasizes how our differences, from culture and religion to food an ...more

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Aug 20, 2019 Dyslexic Bookmonster rated it really liked it

Shelves: cultural, religion, contemporary

It was interesting to read multiple opinions regarding aspects of Judaism, Margot wrote not only her own but also the opinions of the family Schneider. Really interesting and quite a feat that she still knows what has been said so long ago! Or perhaps she kept a diary, which would make remembering such details a lot easier?

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Aug 28, 2020 Hana Pollakova rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, religion-judaism, jewish, memoir, belgian-literature

Reading Margo´s memoirs felt about an extraordinary relationship between an rebellious college student and an Orthodox Jewish family all this happening in the Antwerp. The book gives you an interesting insight into the Jewish family. So if you saw and enjoyed the Netflix show "Unorthodox" you are gonna definetly like this book. ...more

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Aug 26, 2020 Steve Streeter rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Being a regular visitor of Antwerp I found this book fascinating - my imaginings were demystified and an intriguing picture was created - ultimately divisions across the planet never help but this book did open some doors of understanding to a somewhat closed world

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Jan 11, 2020 Efri Mayer rated it it was amazing

Best book of 2020!

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Apr 26, 2020 Hannelinde rated it really liked it

3.5 stars
This is hard to rate: I liked it and it was a quick and easy read. It showed how quick life can flip around and surprise you. I really enjoyed this.

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