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Growing up Black in White
Growing Up Black in White by Kevin D. Hofmann is a moving and sometimes humorous look into the life of one man with a fascinating past. Born into the racially-charged Detroit of 1967 to a white mother and a black father, the author was placed into foster care and then adopted by a white minister and his wife, the parents of three biological children. Hofmann’s memoir reveals the racial tensions, the difficulties of feeling neither black nor white, his family’s loving support, and his struggles to define and embrace his own identity as he grew to be a man. This is a story of hope and promise, and how we are able to define ourselves not through the racism and judgments of a challenging society, but through our own sense of self-respect and personal identity. Kevin Hofmann came to this memoir after a lifetime of contemplation and self-analysis. After attending a national conference on adoption, he found his voice and wove it into this emotional and often amusing story. Hofmann lives with his wife and two sons in Toledo, Ohio.
228 pages, Paperback
First published May 13, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
March 26, 2012
WIthout an angry edge, Mr. Hoffman tells the story of his transracial adoption with openness and honesty. His story is real and while he doesn't leave out the bad parts, readers certainly conclude the book with no uncertainty about his love for his family. I so appreciated Kevin's desire to honor his parents while honestly acknowledging that his life was far from perfect. He does a great job of explaining that his parents' lives were difficult as well. Kevin admits that the awareness that both he and his parents had of each other's experiences evolved as he wrote the book. I completed the book amazed that after all he of his struggles, he was still able to write a book about with an extraordinary amount of gentleness and respect. As an adoptive parent of children of several races, I gained insight into his experience which I hope will help me to better communicate with my children about the racism that they will face as adults. I so appreciate Mr. Hoffman's willingness to present the truth honesty with love, respect and kindness for all of those who are a part of his life.
August 28, 2014
Most adoption books are written by the adoptive parents. This book is written by a trans-racial adoptee and offers an intriguing perspective on being adopted by a white family. As the white parent of four black children, I found this to be a fascinating read and plan to encourage all my kids to read his account. Highly recommend for its rare perspective that is not often discussed.
July 21, 2011
An important look at transracial adoption, race in America and what it means to be adopted. A must read for anyone involved in the issue and for everyone who cares about children in America and beyond.
July 20, 2019
Kevin Hofmann's experience growing up as a biracial child in a white family is told by him in an honest, compelling, and emotional way. I especially felt for him as he explained the exhaustion of navigating relationships and situations where it feels like race might be a factor, but he couldn't be certain.
He ends the book with a section on how transracial families can better care for all the children in their family as they grow up, so that each will feel their special needs met. He refers to these families as "conspicuous families" and stresses that the biological children should be given time with their parents where they are inconspicuous, like date nights with Mom and Dad. Other action items include celebrating all of the cultural traditions of your children, talking often with the children to gauge their emotions, and being willing to protect your children first instead of preserving relationships with disapproving family and friends. This one really struck me - Hofmann talked about how damaging it was for him to be around family who he knew rejected him, and likened the exposure to allowing a child to maintain a relationship with a known pedophile. He also advises that adopted children be given control over who knows their story, since control has been lacking in their lives in major ways.
Of particular help to me is a recommendation he gives about nosy people asking deeply personal questions about your child in the grocery store - he says you should use it as a chance to talk to your child through that person. Show the child that the adoption is not shameful, that you are not a saint for doing it, and that the child is a blessing to your family. Hofmann also encourages families to find ways to honor the birth family, talk about the birth family together, and have continuous conversations about both. Another helpful and specific guideline is to protect your child's identity on social media so they are not contacted by birth family before they are ready.
He also talks about "adoption residue," the real-life impact that the emotional trauma of adoption makes evident, and "racial isolation" that transracial adoptees often experience.
A great read and very helpful in practical ways!
He ends the book with a section on how transracial families can better care for all the children in their family as they grow up, so that each will feel their special needs met. He refers to these families as "conspicuous families" and stresses that the biological children should be given time with their parents where they are inconspicuous, like date nights with Mom and Dad. Other action items include celebrating all of the cultural traditions of your children, talking often with the children to gauge their emotions, and being willing to protect your children first instead of preserving relationships with disapproving family and friends. This one really struck me - Hofmann talked about how damaging it was for him to be around family who he knew rejected him, and likened the exposure to allowing a child to maintain a relationship with a known pedophile. He also advises that adopted children be given control over who knows their story, since control has been lacking in their lives in major ways.
Of particular help to me is a recommendation he gives about nosy people asking deeply personal questions about your child in the grocery store - he says you should use it as a chance to talk to your child through that person. Show the child that the adoption is not shameful, that you are not a saint for doing it, and that the child is a blessing to your family. Hofmann also encourages families to find ways to honor the birth family, talk about the birth family together, and have continuous conversations about both. Another helpful and specific guideline is to protect your child's identity on social media so they are not contacted by birth family before they are ready.
He also talks about "adoption residue," the real-life impact that the emotional trauma of adoption makes evident, and "racial isolation" that transracial adoptees often experience.
A great read and very helpful in practical ways!
July 14, 2021
I worked with Kevin for many years, but never knew his full "story". It was so interesting and enlightening to learn more about his early years, his struggles and his self discovery. I would highly recommend this book, especially to those involved in the adoption process. Congrats on a "Good Read", Kev!
September 4, 2022
His writing style and the overall structure of the book made this a slower read, although it felt like it should have been a much easier and quicker read. The information and experiences he shares is definitely helpful to those considering transracial adoption like my wife and I, or seeking to learn more about it.
June 22, 2020
Excellent, honest, engaging memoir about the life of a transracial adoptee. Updated edition includes important considerations and action items all adoptive parents of transracial children should read.
August 5, 2021
This is so helpful and so critical for my deepened understanding of my children. The stories he shares across his lifetime are powerful and the advice he offers at the end is pure gold.
March 12, 2023
A must read book for anybody considering interracial adoption. An amazing, heart breaking, inspiring read. Kevin tells his story with grace and charm.
May 18, 2023
Didn't realize this was written from such a long time ago. Was hoping it was current. Not much help while wading through waters that the depth is unknown raising a child from a different race.
July 30, 2023
Honest sharing of growing up as a minority in one's own family. The tips at the end were super helpful touch.
March 16, 2017
Growing Up Black in White is an important book, particularly for adoptive parents of black children (like myself). I really appreciated the author's transparency and humility to discuss such personal aspects of his life. I had very specific take-aways to help me understand my own children better and some of the issues they may face as they grow. The only reason why I gave this book 3 stars is because of the writing style. For example, the text kept switching tenses - sometimes in past tense, sometimes in present - which just made for an awkward read. A good editor would have made the book excellent. With that said, this awkwardness can be overlooked for the rich and valuable content. If I were to have the privilege of meeting this author, I would want to express my gratefulness with utmost sincerity, for the hours of labor to provide us with this gift.
April 7, 2015
This is a wonderful but sometimes difficult tale of a black child adopted by a white family in Detroit in the 1960's. Kevin grew up always feeling like an outsider. His father was a pastor in the Lutheran church & was fired after adopting Kevin & eventually had to take a job doing something else so he could support his family. Kevin loved his family but didn't feel like he necessarily fit in. Still, he loved them & stayed a part of the family. He talks about racism that he encountered & that his family encountered. The book does have a happy ending, though.
April 10, 2013
Kevin Hoffmann shares his experience growing bi-racial in a white household. He shares his child and young adulthood with candor. His story is one I would recommend to any trans- racial adoptive parent read. As one other reviewer commented- know that it's similar to reading a personal journal.
The book does contain typos but I based my rating on what he was trying to communicate not the editing.
The book does contain typos but I based my rating on what he was trying to communicate not the editing.
February 27, 2019
Transracial Family
Transracial family through adoption must deal with more than other adoption issues that occur. These families must deal with cultural and race differences, racism, discrimination, lack of knowledge of others, teaching their child about their culture, etc. This book is excellent in helping making the transition into this new family structure. I suggest reading the book before deciding to adopt outside your race.
Transracial family through adoption must deal with more than other adoption issues that occur. These families must deal with cultural and race differences, racism, discrimination, lack of knowledge of others, teaching their child about their culture, etc. This book is excellent in helping making the transition into this new family structure. I suggest reading the book before deciding to adopt outside your race.
July 1, 2010
I really appreciated Kevin's candid account of growing up black in a white family. It gave me a great understanding of what transracially adopted kids may experience.
Those who read it should know that it is not written perfectly and there are several typos. It is sort of like reading someone's personal journal.
Those who read it should know that it is not written perfectly and there are several typos. It is sort of like reading someone's personal journal.
March 5, 2011
A very insightful book written about the experiences of a black man raised by white parents. Very enjoyable and interesting.
January 3, 2016
Fascinating story of one transracial adoptee's personal experience. #AAQ #AAQP #adoption
April 29, 2017
I feel a little bad giving this two stars. as a memoir it's fine. I guess I was just hoping for more introspection. The author clearly has some issues with race, and instead of some deep introspection that would help the reader internalize it, we just blow by incident after incident.
Racism is very much alive in today's world, although it's different than what the author experienced. But really I came away from this book sad for the author that he spent so much of his life trying to be "black" instead of just being a person. Love for our fellow man transcends race and culture. Culture is important, but as a single person we aren't one culture or another. We don't have to choose to be one culture or another. We just have to be loving people that relate to others and be their friends.
Racism is very much alive in today's world, although it's different than what the author experienced. But really I came away from this book sad for the author that he spent so much of his life trying to be "black" instead of just being a person. Love for our fellow man transcends race and culture. Culture is important, but as a single person we aren't one culture or another. We don't have to choose to be one culture or another. We just have to be loving people that relate to others and be their friends.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews