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Lieve Ijeawele, of een feministisch manifest in vijftien voorstellen

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie,

Hien Montijn (Translator)

4.52 · Rating details · 59,494 ratings · 7,597 reviews

Een paar jaar geleden ontving Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie een brief van een goede vriendin waarin deze haar vroeg hoe ze haar dochtertje tot feministe kon opvoeden. Lieve Ijeawele is Adichie’s antwoord in de vorm van vijftien voorstellen. Haar suggesties zijn vaak recht door zee, wrang, geestig, diepzinnig en opmerkzaam en kunnen helpen een dochter op te laten groeien tot een ...more

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Hardcover, 85 pages

Published March 6th 2017 by De Bezige Bij

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Apr 16, 2017 Emily May rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, 2017, feminism

Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.

I honestly cannot think of any author who writes essays as equally hard-hitting and utterly readable as Adichie does. Perhaps Roxane Gay's work could be said to be as compelling, or Ta-Nehisi Coates's work to be as powerful, but Adichie always comes out on top, for me, as someone who can write about important subjects with a conversational tone that makes them pageturners ...more

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Apr 28, 2017 Ariel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I wanted to write a review about how wonderful this book is, but instead I think I need to tell you how necessary this book is.

About two months ago I met with Penguin who asked me if I'd do a sponsored video for this book. Having loved We Should All Be Feminists I was thrilled to work with them, and after reading this glorious little manifesto I agreed. (They sponsored that video and supplied me with the book, but this review is unrelated... I'm two months late, after all!) I got excited to make ...more

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May 01, 2018 Emily (Books with Emily Fox) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.

I'm actually mad that I have to return this book to the library.

I need to own this book. The author has such a way with words. She states her opinion in a matter of fact and simple way. I wish I were able to do the same but I'll have to content myself with using her quotes!

It warms my cold dead heart to know that women like her exist out there in the wor ...more

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Mar 19, 2017 Nat rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: arc, diverse-reads, essays, feminism, nonfiction

After having seen the scene below shared online, which was taken from this powerful short film, I immediately wanted to absorb myself in some much needed feminist literature. At which point I recalled the existence of Dear Ijeawele, which I'd gratefully received as an ARC.

*Trigger warning: rape.*

In We Should All be Feminists, her eloquently argued and much admired essay of 2014, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie proposed that if we want a fairer world we need to ra ...more

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Mar 12, 2017 Warda rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: author-of-colour

“The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.”

Chimamanda just can't do no wrong! I had the honour and the absolute pleasure of seeing and hearing her in person over the weekend in London. As expected, the event was just spectacular.

This book originated and was inspired by a friend of Chimamanda's who asked her ‘how to raise her baby girl as a feminist.’ The book is short, sweet and ridiculously impactful. The above quote is my favourite alongside many others. As she i “The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.”

Chimamanda just can't do no wrong! I had the honour and the absolute pleasure of seeing and hearing her in person over the weekend in London. As expected, the event was just spectacular.

This book originated and was inspired by a friend of Chimamanda's who asked her ‘how to raise her baby girl as a feminist.’ The book is short, sweet and ridiculously impactful. The above quote is my favourite alongside many others. As she is a WOC who speaks on feminism (and more) and as I find her cultural traits more relatable and similar to mine, I love and admire how she continues to advocate for equality and fights to break down the barriers of everything that contributes to sexism, whilst simultaneously empowering women to be who it is they want to be.

Not only did I feel content reading this book, the concept of feminism was ingrained in me even more. And as someone who was slightly reluctant to accept the term, because of the ignorant, but common connotations and how in its origin, it catered to white women, I fully embrace the term now. At its root, it's about equality. Simple. For men and women. And though it's to educate all, it's more so effective on women. I can't help but feel glorious and powerful about myself, who I am as a person and to not back down on my values and my beliefs and what my gut instinct has been telling me for so long after reading this book.

There's a certain 'aura' that she exudes in her writing (and in person), which you can't help but fall for, and commands full attention and concentration. I'm under a spell. I was positively beaming whilst reading the book.

But why should I read it, I hear you say? Because this book is basically a massive f*** you to the cultural garb that has defined our societal standards and norms. Because this book is about being selfish in the sense that it is about self-acceptance, becoming your own person, and focusing on your wants and needs first and not tolerating bullshit. Difference. Diversity.

I cannot get enough of her work and could read/listen to her forever.

Though it's approximate 60 pages long, it's thought-provoking and it's the type of read that'll linger for a while. I know it's a book I'll constantly be referring to. ...more

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Dec 08, 2018 jessica rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

‘your feminist premise should be: i matter. i matter equally. not ‘if only…’ not ‘as long as…’ i matter equally. full stop.’

once again, adichie is the voice of reason and the feminist icon we all deserve.

i dont annotate my books but, if i did, i can guarantee nearly every single word of truth in this tiny gem of a book would be highlighted and underlined. there is so much wisdom and significance nestled into this letter that i am of the strong opinion this should be mandatory reading for an ...more

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Apr 08, 2018 Sean Barrs rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 5-star-reads, feminism, non-fiction, essays

“Teach her to love books. If she sees you reading she will understand that reading is valuable. Books will help her understand the world, help her express herself, and help her in whatever she wants to become.”

Reading, reading is so vitally important in understanding other people and differences. It develops empathy and it makes the world a better place. We should never restrict ourselves in life, men or women, it doesn’t matter as long as we do not full victim to the silly constraints imp ...more

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Jun 18, 2020 emma rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-ya, nonfiction, auto-buy-authors, to-buy, recommend, 4-stars, reviewed

The moral of my feelings on this book is that I will read anything Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie deigns to publish. Including her correspondence.

(Because this book is a letter she wrote to her friend, not because I've been rooting through her mail.)

(Yet.)

This is a very teeny little thing and yet it packs more of a punch than most 400-page YA quasi-feminist books. So.

Safe to say I recommend.

Bottom line: If you have a spare 7 minutes, you can and should read this!!

------------

"We teach girls to be lika ...more

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Apr 04, 2017 Brina rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: african-lit, essays, feminism

Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a letter she wrote to a close friend who has just given birth to a daughter. The friend has asked her to describe how to raise the daughter to be a feminist in Nigeria, a male centered country. Spelling out how to raise a feminist daughter in fifteen steps, this letter can be viewed as a companion piece to We Should All be Feminists and a manifesto of how to raise all children to view all people with respect.

Even though I recently read We Should All Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a letter she wrote to a close friend who has just given birth to a daughter. The friend has asked her to describe how to raise the daughter to be a feminist in Nigeria, a male centered country. Spelling out how to raise a feminist daughter in fifteen steps, this letter can be viewed as a companion piece to We Should All be Feminists and a manifesto of how to raise all children to view all people with respect.

Even though I recently read We Should All be Feminists, I found that Adichie had offered some new points to ponder, starting from the child's birth. Both parents have made the decision to bring a child into the world, so, as a result, the father should not view child care as babysitting. Rather, anything he contributes to raising his child should be viewed as equal to the mother's work. Unfortunately, society as a whole does not see things from this light, and Adichie urges open minded people to change this.

She goes on to state that children should not be conditioned to like a certain type of toy or play. From day one, girls are told to wear pink and play with dolls, whereas boys are told to wear blue and play with cars. If a girl chooses to play sports or be a princess, either is acceptable in this new world view, the same as if a boy would like to draw rather than play a police game. Adichie advances her views on child raising through adolescence in hopes that girls are not ashamed of their bodies and that they should still enjoy the same activities that they did when they were younger.

Raising a child does not end at adolescence, so Adichie takes her readers through marriage. I found her points uplifting but most were pointed at Nigeria, which is still a male-centric society. From reading her other books, I have found that in Nigeria women oftentimes can not walk into a restaurant without a man and that Igbo women have few rights if at all. Adichie is urging the younger generations to change the older, tribal beliefs, even if it is one step at a time. By beginning from birth, she hopes that eventually this culture will change for the better and respect women and men equally.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is becoming a favorite author of mine and also a leading feminist voice internationally. I think this manifesto is something that all expectant parents should read so that their children start out with a clean slate. I would hope that later editions could be published together with We Should All Be Feminists because both are equally important. I look forward to the next time I take the time to read Adichie's work, 4 stars. ...more

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Sep 26, 2018 Mia Nauca rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Quiero que todos lean este libro. La manera de escribir de Chimamanda es increíble: expresa sus ideas de manera clara y concisa pero sobre todo es cálida y enriquecedora; me ha dejado con ganas de leer más de ella.
Y lo haré, muy pronto.

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Aug 03, 2018 Evgnossia O'Hara rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.

And this is all I'm gonna mention here!
Spectacular!
Read it! ...more

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Aug 21, 2017 s.penkevich rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism, important, non-fiction

‘Because social norms are created by human beings...there is no social norm that cannot be changed.’

We’ve all heard the maxim that ‘change starts with you,’ which is something we must all take to heart and shoulder the responsibility. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the powerful novel Americanah and the powerful TedTalk We Should All Be Feminists, reminds parents how important the idea of change beginning with them is in her letter to a close friend, recently revised and published as Dear Ij ‘Because social norms are created by human beings...there is no social norm that cannot be changed.’

We’ve all heard the maxim that ‘change starts with you,’ which is something we must all take to heart and shoulder the responsibility. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the powerful novel Americanah and the powerful TedTalk We Should All Be Feminists, reminds parents how important the idea of change beginning with them is in her letter to a close friend, recently revised and published as Dear Ijeawle, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. The advice, while geared toward raising a daughter in the modern world, is not limited in its audience to female bearing parents--or even to parents in general--but to all of us. The messages inside, told in casual yet puissant prose that is sure to rattle in any reader’s heart, mind and soul are salient advice towards creating a better, more equal and understanding world. On first glance, the ideas discussed seem fairly obvious and anyone who has embraced feminism--and I hope you have--won’t find anything completely groundbreaking, but the fact that there are those that need a reminder of these or an introduction to these ideas is why books like this exist. It is frightening to think this is a world where the ideas within the book aren’t already a cultural norm, but that is precisely why it is so important to spread and share the knowledge. Adichie’s advice should be carefully considered and constantly echoing in your mind when raising a child, engaging in a romantic relationship or simply interacting in society.

‘My friend sent me a reply saying she would “try” to follow my suggestions.
And in rereading these as a mother, I, too, am determined to try.’

We must all be determined to try. It may seem difficult--there are still those who claim the gender wage gap is a myth--especially considering society has been built on an obdurate male culture that will fight tooth and nail to retain their hold. Even language is full of gender pitfalls as the history of language is a long history of misogyny. Adichie addresses many of these issues and offers a helpful guide to navigating them. The back dust jacket does a fairly accurate job of summing up her main points:

All of these are ideas to take to heart. Particularly around children, as we must remember that children learn how to approach the world by watching us and those around them as role models. Adichie goes right to infancy to address a few problematic behaviors, such as how in play groups:

mothers of baby girls were very restraining, constantly telling the girls ‘don’t touch’ or ‘stop and be nice,’ and she noticed that the baby boys were not restrained as much and were almost never told to ‘be nice.’

Adichie notes that ‘parents unconsciously start very early to teach girls how to be, that baby girls are given less room and more rules and baby boys more room and fewer rules.’ This sort of early guidance into the world begins a chain of behaviors that becomes very difficult to unlearn and sets girls up to feel they must be restrained their whole lives, and this is a problem. We cannot teach girls to fold themselves in and make way for boys, as much as we cannot teach boys that they have a dominant rule of the playroom and, therefore, world. The idea that ‘boys will be boys’, which is applied to a dangerously vast array of behaviors from roughhousing to sexual lusts, is an idea that must be stomped out like a cigarette butt. It gives a lower set of standards to boys and is a dangerous pass in the world. Concepts such as this allowed people to dismiss accusations of sexual assault as mere ‘locker room talk’ (another horrifically misogynist phrase that gives a pass to repulsive behavior) because ‘boys will be boys’.

Adichie also brings up the problems of gendering toys and clothing. Why is ‘gender neutral’ it’s own category, she asks, even when toddler boys and girls have practically the same bodies. In fact, the idea of blue for boys and pink for girls has slowly become ingrained into society by misogynistic marketing schemes that began in the early 19th century¹ Furthermore, with regard to clothing, Adichie cautions against referring to clothing or fashion styles as immoral ‘because clothes have absolutely nothing to do with morality.’ She suggests constructive advice such as how it doesn’t or does suit them but never to refer to them as ‘looking like a prostitute.’

Many cultures and religions control women’s bodies in one way or another...the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be ‘covered up’ to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.

This plays into the reprehensible ‘boys will be boys’ idea again--that males cannot control their sexual urges and it is women's responsibility to dress themselves accordingly. This is downright disgusting. Adichie notes that many cultures like a woman to be sexy but never sexual while never setting a similar standard for the sexual behavior of men. That male sexuality is seen as normal with all the high-fives and bullshit bravado and female sexuality is met with shaming and jeers is something we must not stand for. ‘Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive,’ Adichie says, and a female must not feel ashamed for taking pride in their appearance or body. Shaming women for their style of dress has me at all times one snappy retort away from declaring overgrown beards as a phallic symbol of maleness--society judges women for body hair but not men--and therefore overtly misogynistic. It doesn't feel so good when turned around does it?

Returning to damaging gender norms, Adichie also notes that toys marketed to boys tend to be more mobile “doing” type toys while girl’s are more static, like dolls or playing-house. Here’s a helpful guide for deciding the gender of toys:

Jokes aside, we must remove gender roles from toys. We do children, and society, a great disservice by upholding this tradition. Recently a friend recounted that while watching his young relatives he allowed the boy to get the ‘girls’ McDonald Happy Meal because it was a toy they would rather play with. Upon returning the children to their parents, he was met with disgust that he would allow their son to play with a girl’s toy. My friend was understandably taken aback and shocked that this belief hadn’t withered away by 2017. Another anecdote: During my many years working for Barnes and Noble I once had a customer who was irritated that we didn’t have ‘boy books and girl books’ in separate sections. She was relatively outraged by my response that books aren’t gendered, that it would be offensive and would result in massive lawsuits and protests. If a boy wants to read Angelina Ballerina, why not? If a girl is into Thomas the Train, encourage it. My daughter is currently mid-series in Chronicles of Narnia and it seems disingenuous to label that as a ‘gender neutral’ series. Especially as the term ‘gender neutral’ comes loaded with outdated and facetious gender roles that do more harm than good.

Teach her to question language. Language is the repository of our prejudices, our beliefs, our assumptions.

It is only by questioning language, and the impetus behind words, that we can re-harness language and reshape our society. Language is our greatest tool to assess, address and affect the world around us. Remember that words come bearing connotative weight that can be detrimental even despite our best intentions. Adichie highlights the term ‘princess’ for girls which, she says, ‘is loaded with assumptions of a girl’s delicacy, of the prince who will come to save her, etc.’ Adichie prefers the term ‘angel’, though personally I use ‘Queen’ or ‘heroine’ with my own daughter (a favourite game of ours is for me to hide in a play structure--the castle--and she is the princess that has to rescue the knight. Admittedly it’s a good excuse for me to sit and relax awhile until she finds me, but I like to think it gives agency to the role of a princess).

Child rearing isn’t the only topic of this book, though it is an overarching thread. Marriage and relationships are under her scrutiny as well. Marriage must never be seen as a reward, she cautions. Adichie questions the effect on society when we teach girls to aspire to marriage, to win a husband, to please a husband, but don’t impose the same beliefs of boys (not that we should, her argument is that these teachings are problematic).

There is a terrible imbalance from the start. The girls will grow up to be women preoccupied with marriage. The boys will grow up to be men who are not….The women marry these men. The relationship is automatically uneven because the institution matters more to one than the other. Is it any wonder that...women sacrifice more, at a loss to themselves, because they have to constantly maintain an uneven exchange?

Adichie asks for a balance in marriage and addresses the language used in it. A father is never ‘babysitting’ or ‘helping’ the mother, no, he is doing his duty as a father. The duties must be shared and not done resentfully so--like any instructional on love would suggest. ‘When there is true equality, resentment does not exist.’ We must also not refer to women as being ‘allowed’ to do things by the man. She cites many examples of this in society. Adichie continues to focus on working women, the philosophy behind names, and the idea of keeping family members around that project positive non-gender-normative roles for the child to aspire to. This goes for both boys and girls.

What is most important in this book is Adichie’s ‘Feminist Tools’. The first is ‘I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only”. Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.’ The second tool follows in the form of a question. ‘Can you reverse X and get the same result.’ This second tool is the crux of many of her arguments. She shows countless examples of an inequality between gender norms. What we accept as normal in a man we often scorn in a women. A domineering man is powerful and given promotions or political positions yet we have a whole language of insults to hold back domineering women. We rarely judge a man by his style of dress but frequently assess a woman by that very thing. And have marketing campaigns that only bolster it.

Here is a sad truth: Our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an aberration. And so she is policed. We ask of powerful women: Is she humble? Does she smile? Is she grateful enough? Does she have a domestic side? Questions we do not ask of powerful men, which shows that our discomfort is not with power itself, but with women.

Adiche also strongly cautions against the idea of ‘Feminism Lite,’ which amounts to a misunderstanding of what feminism is. I would argue that this also applies to much of the feminism of the white-privilege bent that ignores intersectionality. While many women made great strides for feminism in the past decades, by modern standards it often reeks of privilege. This is another thing to avoid.

A Feminist Manifesto is an utterly engaging read that goes down in a single sitting but will last with you a lifetime. Adichie is charming, witty and humorous that makes her messages digestible and leave you wanting more. There are far more issues discussed in this slim book than I have mentioned, and I urge you to pick it up and read it. We must be the change we seek in the world. It starts with you, how you treat your partner, raise your children, interact with friends or society, Feminism isn’t only about educating women, it is about education all of us.
4.5/5

‘Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realization that I am angrier about sexism...because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice.’

¹ For an interesting look at the marketing campaigns that bolstered the idea of blue/pink as gendered infant clothing, please read the following articles fromThe Smithsonian and Jezebel ...more

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Feb 07, 2017 Emer (A Little Haze) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Everyone irregardless of gender, sex, age or creed

Shelves: non-fiction, read2017, reviewed, 5stars, books-owned-eformat, books-owned-all-formats

"Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl.
'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything.
Ever."

"If we don't place the straitjacket of gender roles on young children, we give them space to reach their full potential."

It feels very appropriate to be writing this review on International Women's Day 2017. Some years ago Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was asked by a friend how she should ra ...more

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Mar 30, 2017 Ilenia Zodiaco rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, reading-diversely

Spunti di riflessione concreti, pragmatici e chiari su quanto sia necessario il femminismo per una società giusta e una vita più felice. Utile anche per chi ha dei dubbi su femminismo "buono" e femminismo "cattivo".
P.S. Adesso non ho più scuse per non leggere "dovremmo essere tutti femministi". ...more

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Jul 08, 2019 Amin marked it as not-to-read · review of another edition

به نظرم نسبت ما با ترجمه در ایران، از مرحله نقد گذشته و به مرحله مبارزه رسیده؛ مبارزه ای نه فقط با اتوریته قدرت و حتی سانسور، بلکه حتی با مترجمین، مترجمینی خائن و بی مسئولیت. بنابراین، فارغ از اینکه چقدر با محتوای این کتاب موافقم، و ریویوی آن را برای نسخه انگلیسی خواهم نوشت، تصمیم گرفتم به علت پرمخاطب بودن و پرخوانش بودن این کتاب، و تاثیری که محتوای آن در ذهن خواننده ایرانی گذاشته و خواهد گذارد، دست به ترجمه مستقل آن بزنم و نسخه الکترونیکی آن را در اختیار همگان قرار دهم، که بعد از خاتمه کار اطلا به نظرم نسبت ما با ترجمه در ایران، از مرحله نقد گذشته و به مرحله مبارزه رسیده؛ مبارزه ای نه فقط با اتوریته قدرت و حتی سانسور، بلکه حتی با مترجمین، مترجمینی خائن و بی مسئولیت. بنابراین، فارغ از اینکه چقدر با محتوای این کتاب موافقم، و ریویوی آن را برای نسخه انگلیسی خواهم نوشت، تصمیم گرفتم به علت پرمخاطب بودن و پرخوانش بودن این کتاب، و تاثیری که محتوای آن در ذهن خواننده ایرانی گذاشته و خواهد گذارد، دست به ترجمه مستقل آن بزنم و نسخه الکترونیکی آن را در اختیار همگان قرار دهم، که بعد از خاتمه کار اطلاع رسانی را انجام میدهم. صرفا سه مثال از انواع ایرادات ترجمه را در پایین ذکر میکنم

یک نکته طنزآمیز این است که مترجم از ابتدا تا انتها نفهمید دو کشور نیجر و نیجریه با هم فرق دارند و هر جا دلش خواست از هرکدام که می خواست استفاده کرد، صرفا به دلیل این ضعف هم در فهم زبان انگلیسی و هم تنبلی در جستجو که در زبان انگلیسی املای دو کلمه نیجری و نیجریایی به هم نزدیک است

بعنوان نمونه از نفهمیدن متن توسط مترجم و استفاده از فهم خودش بجای ترجمه دقیق، توصیه ششم کتاب سرشار از مثال است. از مثال درباره عدم استفاده از جارگونها بگیرید که نویسنده میگوید "بجای استفاده از کلمات حوزه خودمان که شاید فهمش برای دیگران سخت باشد و منظور را نفهمند، توضیح بده دقیقا چه منظوری داری"، در حالیکه مترجم نوشته "هرگز چیزی را با تعصب، ضد زن نخوان و برای دخترت دلیل و چرایی هر چیز را توضیح بده". یا بعضی وقت ها با خود میگفتم چرا منطق نویسنده مشکل دارد، در حالیکه بعد متوجه میشدم مساله ترجمه است. مثلا نویسنده میگوید "به دخترت نگو وقت شوهرداری است، بلکه بگو وقت بیزینس است چون شوهرداری بدون فکر فایده ندارد"، و سوال پیش میاید که مگر بیزینس بدون فکر فایده دارد؟ در حالیکه مترجم به سلیقه خود یا نوعی تحریف و سانسور معنایی، واژه بی فکر را اضافه کرده تا بار از روی دوش کلمه ازدواج برداشته شود و منظور نویسنده صرفا این بوده که "الان باید دنبال شغل بگردی، و ترغیب کردن دخترها صرفا به ازدواج کار مناسبی نیست" و اصلا ربطی به با فکر یا بی فکر بودن ازدواج ندارد. مثال آخر از این فصل پر اشکال هم دو واژه "چمپیوند" و "ریورد" (بخاطر مشکل تایپ کلمات انگلیسی در متن فارسی مجبورم این طور بنویسم) که مترجم اولی را بجای "مورد حمایت"، به معنی "قهرمان" ترجمه کرده و بعد دیده واژه دوم که به معنای "مورد احترام" است ربطی در متن به کلمه قهرمان ندارد و از خیر ترجمه آن گذشته است

از این ضعف ها که بگذریم، در پیشنهاد دوازدهم که اشاراتی به تن زنان و زنانگی دارد، بخش زیادی از متن سانسور یا تحریف شده، که البته اگر جز این بود می بایست تعجب میکردیم ...more

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Feb 06, 2018 Riley rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This might have been even better than 'We Should All Be Feminists' which I loved a lot. I found myself nodding along to everything Adichie was saying. This is largely focused on motherhood, gender roles, and how to raise your child to be a feminist. ...more

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Nov 01, 2017 Carol (Bookaria) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2017, non-fiction

Here's a very short book with a lot of wisdom.

Just because it's short it does not mean it is a light read, not at all.

Years ago, the author received a letter from a childhood friend who had just given birth to a baby girl. In the letter, her friend asks Chimamanda for advise on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. Oh boy, and did she deliver a response. You know she did.

The book is divided in small chapters and in each chapter there's a suggestion or topic from the author. The topics range f ...more

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Oct 30, 2017 Whitney Atkinson rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism, read-in-2017

This book was so quotable. Very short but very powerful; I highlighted pretty much every other line. I don't intend on having kids, but this made me think a lot about how we train girls and boys to be and the gender roles we should avoid them adopting, and it was very empowering and great advice. ...more

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Jun 30, 2018 April (Aprilius Maximus) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2018

This was great, but I wish it was more trans inclusive coz she implies multiple times that all women have vaginas.

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May 30, 2019 mina reads™️ added it · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction-memoir, about-poc, read-on-audio

This was such an amazing way to start my day 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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Feb 16, 2019 Cece (ProblemsOfaBookNerd) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: anticipated-of-2017, read-in-2019

*3.5/5

Unsurprisingly, after some of Adichie’s comments a couple of years ago, this is good but deeply cis-centric in its language.

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May 07, 2017 Seemita rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites, nigeria, non-fiction, epislotary, family, for_legacy, me, toi

[Originally appeared here (with edits): http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/li...]

Feminism – A rather commonly used terms these days, with interpretations far and wide, but not necessarily, coherent. If among contemporary writers there is one who imparts veritable meaning and clarity to this much relevant and pertinent ideology, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would be her name.

When a friend asked Adichie how she can raise her little daughter as a feminist, Adichie shared fifteen suggestions in form of [Originally appeared here (with edits): http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/li...]

Feminism – A rather commonly used terms these days, with interpretations far and wide, but not necessarily, coherent. If among contemporary writers there is one who imparts veritable meaning and clarity to this much relevant and pertinent ideology, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would be her name.

When a friend asked Adichie how she can raise her little daughter as a feminist, Adichie shared fifteen suggestions in form of a letter. And each one of them echoes so loud that it feels quite unreal to see these obvious orders missing in our societies.

She advises that a girl should be taught to reject “likeability”. Often people put so much thrust on girls being nice and likeable that this shallowness gobbles up more important and life-defining traits like kindness and fullness of character. It is the same brutality the society exhibits when it equates a girl’s appearance to her morality. One should teach their daughters to consistently reject this policing. From setting examples at home by sharing responsibilities, to actively shunning the so-called “gender-roles”, the onus of driving the essence of feminism lies on both the parents. Among other propositions, Adichie writes about encouraging the child to read and understanding the importance of having an identity of her own.

Adichie’s effectiveness in what she advocates is primarily because of her aim, which indeed, is to empower girls and not turn them into saints. She insists that female goodness goes hand in hand with female evil, and that, she is fallible and not without flaws. She justly maintains that equality is a two-way road and that raising your child as a feminist is inclusive of not manipulating the opposite gender to one’s benefit.

Drawing inferences from her own experiences (as an Igbo girl), her teens, her biases and her learning, she forwards her recommendations with not just an intimate warmth inherent between two childhood friends but also etches a manifesto, as is mentioned in the title, that has an universal application. If you have not been taken by Adichie's strong voice or ethos in the past and have an inkling you might not after all spend time reading this book (though I strongly recommend against it), you can view her fifteen suggestions under this spoiler: (view spoiler). But don't take my word; read it. The accompanying texts and instances she quotes, are as much a delight to read as they are wise to imbibe.

Clearly, this is a book which should be read by parents and its philosophies, inculcated in their children, regardless of their genders. ...more

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Oct 09, 2017 Flor rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Hermoso.!!! 💕 Me ha gustado tanto como “Todos deberíamos ser feministas” Que palabras tan sabias y que ideas tan claras tiene esta mujer.!!
Se lo recomiendo a todos, tanto hombres como mujeres.!!
Dejo algunas de las frases que más me gustaron, aunque casi todo el libro lo tengo marcado ☺️

”Tu premisa femenina debería ser: Yo importo”.

”Todo el mundo tendrá una opinión de lo que deberías hacer, pero lo importante es lo que tú quieras y no lo que los demás quieran que quieras”.

”En ocasiones las madr ...more

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Apr 10, 2017 leynes rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: black-writers, african-writers

Hells bells, this was absolutely fantastic. I had to wait for over an hour at my local tax office, luckily I had this book at hand. It made the hour worthwhile.

After finishing this little book, I finally know why We Should All Be Feminists didn't woe me. Sure her TEDx talk was great and had all the right messages, but it lacked practicality. What am I supposed to do with that knowledge? How can I be and live like a feminist in a patriarchal system? Lord behold, Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manif ...more

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Nov 14, 2018 Lisa rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, persuasive

Dear Chimamanda,

I love the fact that you still write letters, that you care and stay committed to the issues that are important to the next generation. I love the fact that you write short and anecdotal letters that can be shared between my three children and myself in a library on a dark winter afternoon.

I can't say how much it means to me that you have a voice that is clear and sharp and kind enough to reach out to both my sons and my daughter. We feel the same anger you feel, and when I rea ...more

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Oct 09, 2017 Laura rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: feminism, nonfiction, leo-autoras-oct-17

Quiero regalar este pequeño gran libro a todas las mujeres del mundo.

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Mar 08, 2017 Simon rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has the most incredible way with words and how to get her points across with humour and hope. This, a letter to her friend who asks her 'how do I raise my daughter feminist?', was brimming with warmth and power whilst asking us all to check ourselves and how feminist we are when we say what we do and act as feminists. ...more

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Dec 05, 2017 Joce (squibblesreads) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

4.5 stars! So important and wonderfully written and explained with examples. I wish it had been longer - I was imagining this as a collection/novel made up of vignettes with the author as a type of wise narrator... A+ material

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Mar 23, 2018 Sara rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

As a mother of a son and daughter(s), this book speaks to me on a deeply personal level and I hope I can raise my children with a sense of what it is to be a feminist. All I want for them all is to grow up in a society that is inherently equal to all, without any biases towards what they grow up to be.

I hope they already have some idea about the values discussed here. I'm the main earner in our family, my husband and I divided the childcare equally and I would never impose supposed views on them ...more

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Apr 28, 2017 Amanda rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2017-reading-log, africa, women, nonfiction

Dear Ijeawele is Chimanda Ngozi Adichie's response to her friend's request for advice on how to raise her baby girl a feminist. The format of the book is a letter to the baby with fifteen suggestions. I may have enjoyed reading this even more than We Should All Be Feminists.

Many of the suggestions include changing the language we use with our daughters and examining attitudes about marriage and relationships, identity, and gender roles. I feel that many of the suggestions are already widely acc ...more

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About Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie grew up in Nigeria.

Her work has been translated into over thirty languages and has appeared in various publications, including The New Yorker, Granta, The O. Henry Prize Stories, the Financial Times, and Zoetrope. She is the author of the novels Purple Hibiscus, which won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and the Hurston/Wright Legacy Award; Half of a Yellow Sun, which won t ...more

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“Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.” — 322 likes

“Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.” — 247 likes

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