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330 pages, Hardcover
First published January 30, 2018
”Boys get to have it all. Girls are either sluts or saints.”Interesting, Nell, since you spend the ENTIRE NOVEL slutshaming girls and blaming the victims of unhealthy/abusive marriages.
”I have on a tasteful sundress and a headband holding my auburn hair in place, understated, unlike what some of the other girls showed up in.”Like,,, dude,,,, why?? Why are you hating on girls just so casually?? This ain't challenged, either!!
”I know Tristan Kaye, but not well. She’s the kind of girl who comes with a reputation and a hell of a lot of baggage. [sic] Mostly I know that Tristan Kaye is not the kind of girl I’d ever want to be.”And before people come at me saying “but wait!! Nell changed!!” I know Nell’s opinion of TRISTAN changed, but the smack that Nell and her mother talk about “other girls” in general does not. Nell is entirely condescending (calling a girl saying she prefers Jane Austen’s novel “trite” in a sarcastic way), shames another girl for making out with Jackson (not resolved), and straight up victim blames Jackson’s mother for staying in an abusive relationship. In fact, the rushed resolution of this novel caused for me to not see much of Nell’s personal growth at all.
”’She allows herself to be disrespected by some, some’—I search around as if for a word bad enough, and then one comes to me, as if from the sky—‘dickhead. And that’s why she gets treated like s**t.’”I mean, you’re kidding me, right? This isn’t real. Lol I wanted to stop reading right then and there but you know what!! I didn’t! Silly me, I thought that this would be an aspect of Nell’s character development, but this issue is literally never resolved. You don’t have the privilege of calling yourself a feminist book if you are going to spout crap like this. Fun fact: a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship isn’t “allowing” themselves to be “disrespected.” In what world is it Jackson’s mom’s fault that her husband is cheating on her? Why is it on her to fix this?? I’m seriously so angry right now that I can barely string my words into coherent thoughts. Like, people legitimately still say crap like this?? I wouldn't be mad if this had been a part of Nell’s character arc but it’s not. It’s literally never mentioned again. I’m so pissed.
”She’d been latched onto Jackson like a parasite for the past three months. ‘Can’t believe that didn’t work out,’ I say, like I absolutely can believe that.”and
”Jackson laughs at that, and I watch the lines of his face, the way he doesn’t think it’s funny at all.”
Don’t care. Don’t show emotion. Stay on top.
Be smart but not too smart. Be a leader but step aside. Be an athlete but never look too strong.’ It isn’t all about the trial. It’s about playing a part, and I’m tired of it
Betrayal is a curious thing. Because it’s so much more than one moment of stabbing pain—it’s like losing your truth, your guiding principle, your self.
You know what’s funny about the end of something? You don’t realize how much that something took from you, and how much you gain back when it’s gone.
Yellow diamonds in the light
I was standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive![]()
It’s the way I’m feeling,
I just can’t deny
But I’ve gotta let it go![]()