Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.

Start by marking “Midlife: A Philosophical Guide” as Want to Read:

Other editions

Enlarge cover

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Open Preview

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

Kieran Setiya

3.55 · Rating details · 737 ratings · 119 reviews

Philosophical wisdom and practical advice for overcoming the problems of middle age

How can you reconcile yourself with the lives you will never lead, with possibilities foreclosed, and with nostalgia for lost youth? How can you accept the failings of the past, the sense of futility in the tasks that consume the present, and the prospect of death that blights the future? In ...more

Get A Copy

Hardcover, 189 pages

Published October 3rd 2017 by Princeton University Press

More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Midlife, please sign up.

Lists with This Book

Waking Up in Winter by Cheryl Richardson

When Did Everybody Else Get So Old? by Jennifer Grant

Best Books for Mid-Life

24 books — 6 voters

Dave Barry's Gift Guide To End All Gift Guides by Dave Barry

Hobo Nickel Guidebook by Stephen P. Alpert

Will Eisner's Gleeful Guide To Occult Cookery by Will Eisner

Overstreet Toy Ring Price Guide by Robert M. Overstreet

Them "Guide" Books Is Wrong

162 books — 4 voters

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30

Average rating 3.55 ·

Rating details

· 737 ratings · 119 reviews

More filters

Sort order

Start your review of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

Dec 19, 2017 Antonio Nunez rated it it was amazing

Kieran’s book on how to cope with midlife crisis was a Godsend for me.

It is hard not to fall into self-biography when considering midlife crisis. When I was about to turn 40 I was worried about what that would mean for me. Initially nothing happened. As my fifth decade advanced I became increasingly aware of my own mortality, as my father and my two grandmothers died and my son grew at a scarily quick pace. Even though I had no major health concerns, unexpected conditions started to pop up. Whe Kieran’s book on how to cope with midlife crisis was a Godsend for me.

It is hard not to fall into self-biography when considering midlife crisis. When I was about to turn 40 I was worried about what that would mean for me. Initially nothing happened. As my fifth decade advanced I became increasingly aware of my own mortality, as my father and my two grandmothers died and my son grew at a scarily quick pace. Even though I had no major health concerns, unexpected conditions started to pop up. When I turned 50 I was in panic mode. As I faced the limits of what I would achieve as a professional, as a citizen, a parent, a husband, a relative, as I contemplated the impact of aging on my mother and other older relatives, as I saw it on myself every day in the mirror, when I climbed stairs, or jumped, or carried heavy bags, I spent hours, usually late at night and early in the morning, considering it all. Religion helped some, although not nearly as much as I’d hoped.

The worst part of it was my contemporaries, most of whom seemed to be in denial. Many chose to parrot the party line: “50 is the new 30”. “ I am in my best moment and the future can only get better”. Really? Really? No one wanted to discuss the awfulness of aging as one’s mind and one’s body begin to show the signs of years lived, or of considering roads not taken, goals not reached, or reached and found wanting. I concluded that people I knew (some, at any rate) preferred to play an elaborate deception on themselves and others: if I pretend I don’t care about aging, disease and death, then these awful realities will somehow disappear, to be replaced by funny memes in social media.

Now, I am not one to begrudge anyone anything (or nearly) that’ll get him through the day. Whatever works, right? Well, not for me. I need to make sense of things, can’t just pretend they’re not there. I had read Montaigne’s Essays, and while fascinating they did not provide comfort in these concerns. Setiya’s book is a very useful, short but dense primer on how to live with the awareness of decay and death that middle age brings to anyone not in self-denial. His recommendations are useful, although I did not agree with some of them. Regardless of what one may think about particular arguments, sharing the thoughts of this smart, humane author was balm for my ego. Between the Scylla of denial and the Carybdis of nihilism Setiya charts a middle course that will appear to most readers who, looking around, ask themselves “is this all there is”? ...more

flag 33 likes · Like · see review

Jan 10, 2018 Nick Klagge rated it really liked it

This is an excellent book of modern philosophy. A year or more ago, my dad (a philosophy professor) sent me a link to Setiya's essay "The Midlife Crisis" (http://www.ksetiya.net/uploads/2/4/5/...), which is the seed of this book. I greatly enjoyed the essay, and looked forward to the book version when I found out it was in the works.

I'm 32, so probably at the very young end of what anyone would consider middle-aged. (My dad expressed some shock when this came up in my update feed!) But the ideas This is an excellent book of modern philosophy. A year or more ago, my dad (a philosophy professor) sent me a link to Setiya's essay "The Midlife Crisis" (http://www.ksetiya.net/uploads/2/4/5/...), which is the seed of this book. I greatly enjoyed the essay, and looked forward to the book version when I found out it was in the works.

I'm 32, so probably at the very young end of what anyone would consider middle-aged. (My dad expressed some shock when this came up in my update feed!) But the ideas Setiya speaks to still feel meaningful to me. I'd guess they would probably feel meaningful to anyone who has more or less established an adult life for themselves. For me, the "feelings of midlife" are probably about the best they could possibly be, and maybe similar to Setiya's own: I've finished grad school and probably won't get any more degrees, I've found a life partner and gotten married, I have a career that is interesting, seems worthwhile, and pays more than I think I need. These things together render a sense of emptiness in the mere succession of achievement of desires.

(I should note that these types of feelings are something for which religion, a belief in a higher power, might be seen as an answer, not to mention that it might help with the prospect of mortality. I don't remember Setiya ever mentioning religion, and the book more or less proceeds on atheistic grounds. That works for me!)

Setiya writes in a style that is just about perfect for me. The closest comparison I can think of is reading Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher. Both of these writers are doing philosophy that is explicitly therapeutic; that is, geared toward helping the reader live her life in a better way. The style is fairly simple and approachable, no more difficult than your average intellectual book of popular nonfiction. Setiya draws on earlier philosophers at times, particularly Schopenhauer, but is mainly happy to give his own perspectives. Despite all this, he also proceeds in a fairly careful, analytical style, considering and rejecting or accepting various specific explanations, then assessing the reasonableness of various approaches to addressing those he selects as likely. He defines special terms a couple of times, but only as needed, and they generally seemed to facilitate understanding rather than impeding it.

I also found the content useful, if not 100% settling any sense of unease. Setiya talks at some length about Schopenhauer's critique of a project-oriented life--either you are unhappy because there is goal you wish to obtain and have not yet obtained, or you have achieved your goal, in which case you are directionless and lack meaning. In this view, life is a continual treadmill of lacking and extinguishing. Setiya's response is to draw a distinction between "telic" and "atelic" activities: those that are pursued in order to achieve some end, and those that are pursued as valuable in and of themselves. Examples of atelic activities might be walking in nature, talking with friends, or listening to music. But there are also atelic aspects of almost any activity. A good example, which Setiya doesn't mention, is training for a marathon or other race. You might view the training as an unfortunate cost to be paid in order to achieve the goal of finishing a marathon, or you might view the marathon as a means to getting yourself to go outside and run, which is itself intrinsically good. In Setiya's view, orienting our lives toward a more atelic perspective is an effective way of responding to the midlife crisis.

The essay version of this book focuses primarily on the telic/atelic distinction. The book version is padded out with more extended consideration of several other related topics, including the fear of death, regret for lives we didn't live, and regret for mistakes we made in the past. These sections of the book are also characteristically thoughtful, but for the most part, didn't speak to me as much. More than anything, I take this to mean that the "succession of projects" aspect of the midlife crisis is the one that I personally feel the most. The "FOMO" section on lives we didn't choose does contain a view that I found very meaningful, though. Setiya says that one of the aspects of midlife regret is that human life offers such a plurality of values. While this can lead to some painful feelings, Setiya encourages us to take a broader perspective by understanding that this very plurality is a large part of what makes human life rich and worth living. We could only rid ourselves of this sense of tradeoff by drastically narrowing the scope of our interests and experiences, and this, he submits, would be far from worth it.

I came away from this book with some ideas that I now regularly call to mind, and that is very high praise. I hope Kieran Setiya gets a good reception for this book, and decides to write more for a general audience! If the ideas sound interesting to you, I recommend reading first the essay I linked above, and if you like it, getting the book! ...more

flag 16 likes · Like · see review

Jun 02, 2018 Liz Mc2 rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction

I found this philosophical self-help/self-helpish work of philosophy on the perils of midlife quite charming. Satiya tackles major questions of midlife (or any time of life) like whether what we do has value, regret for missed paths/wrong choices, mortality, being trapped on the project treadmill, and considers how philosophy can help us answer or cope with them. The pleasure is more in the journey, the discussion of the ideas, than in the conclusions, which are unsurprising: mindfulness can hel ...more

flag 5 likes · Like · see review

Apr 30, 2018 Gary Beauregard Bottomley rated it liked it

Life is engulfed within a paradox. Kierkegaard gets this best of all. I don’t think the author mentions Kierkegaard but he does mention many other philosophers and uses them to provide context for his telling of a midlife reassessment that is not necessarily characterized as a crisis. He’ll quote Kant to the effect that philosophy is most interested in three questions: 1) what can we know, 2) what should we do, and 3) what is deserving of our hopes? The author always has those questions in the b Life is engulfed within a paradox. Kierkegaard gets this best of all. I don’t think the author mentions Kierkegaard but he does mention many other philosophers and uses them to provide context for his telling of a midlife reassessment that is not necessarily characterized as a crisis. He’ll quote Kant to the effect that philosophy is most interested in three questions: 1) what can we know, 2) what should we do, and 3) what is deserving of our hopes? The author always has those questions in the background while he’s telling his story.

There is the ‘paradox of the ego’ – the fact that if we only consider ourselves we actualize ourselves less than if we consider others too, a J. S. Mill concept that the author speaks about, or the paradox of our own inevitable dissatisfaction for which Schopenhauer’s dour philosophy outlines and is outlined within this book. At the core of our being and the striving for our meaning through answering of those three questions there are paradoxes inherent in achieving our well being (eudemonia) or happiness or satisfaction or whatever one wants to call our true purpose (telos).

To summarize the message in this book, the author tends towards an existentialism with his ‘no regrets’ and becoming trumps being, and that we absolutely own our own choices while the author down plays the existentialist’s ‘anxiety about nothing’ that we have from the-being-unto-death absurdity inherent in life leading to a paradox of Being itself. The author also leans toward Buddhist thought except for the denial of the self because he likes the ‘power of the now’ – the mindfulness of Eckhart Tolle. He’ll switch the priority of Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics to favor the practical (he’ll say existential) over the contemplation of the divine.

The author is way more intelligent in philosophy then I’ll ever be, but he never wows me in his story telling and I never really had to struggle to keep up with a somewhat familiar telling of a story. As Kierkegaard said, an author must always assume the reader has read other similar books on the topic and needs to tell the reader something they don’t already know in order to make the book worthwhile. This is a very short book with some ‘self help’ stuff and in-spite of the self help stuff that always goes wasted on me the author manages to connect different philosophers coherently in his story telling. ...more

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Jan 23, 2020 Jason Pettus added it

Shelves: smart-nerdy, npr-worthy, history, nonfiction, did-not-finish, self-help, contemporary

2020 reads, #3. DID NOT FINISH. This slim book is exactly what it advertises itself to be, a guide to the things that famous philosophers have said over the centuries on the issue of middle-age, so I'm not sure why it surprised me to find this out. It just wasn't quite my cup of tea, so I opted out early. ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Apr 01, 2019 Joe rated it did not like it

Abandoned 44 pages in.

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Apr 28, 2019 Ashley rated it liked it

Shelves: cannonball-read-xi

Best for:
Those who enjoy a philosophical approach to things, and those who are approaching middle age.

In a nutshell:
Philosopher Kieran Setiya, as he approached mid-life, decided to explore ways philosophy might help him power through — or even stave off — a crisis.

Worth quoting:
“I recognize the luxury of the midlife crisis, with a degree of guilt and shame. Why can’t I be more grateful for what I have? But this is my life.”
“There is consolation in the fact that missing out is an inexorable side ...more

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Apr 11, 2019 Andy rated it really liked it

Shelves: requested-received, library, non-fiction, philosophy

philosophical and personal exploration of the challenges typically associated with midlife

suggestions on how to understand and address feelings of lack of purpose, regrets for decisions made and opportunities not pursued, and growing realisation of our own mortality

interesting exploration of decisions or events that may have caused pain or are causing regret, yet if we had the opportunity to live over would likely repeat, due to interconnected dependencies for other aspects of our lives

have a se ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Sep 03, 2018 Cat rated it really liked it

Setiya is witty and erudite, and the tips that he gleans for making the most out of mid-life--focusing on others, prioritizing existentially satisfying activities rather than merely remunerative ones, examining the specific terrain of your life rather than dreaming of other roads not traveled, accepting that love (both self-love and the love of friends and family) requires letting go, and treating the projects that shape your life as processes rather than goals (atelic rather than telic). He dra Setiya is witty and erudite, and the tips that he gleans for making the most out of mid-life--focusing on others, prioritizing existentially satisfying activities rather than merely remunerative ones, examining the specific terrain of your life rather than dreaming of other roads not traveled, accepting that love (both self-love and the love of friends and family) requires letting go, and treating the projects that shape your life as processes rather than goals (atelic rather than telic). He draws upon John Stuart Mill, Schopenhauer, Wordsworth, Beauvoir, and more to elucidate, not only that there are ways to think your way through the crisis of midlife, but more pertinently that philosophy need not merely be a set of abstractions but actually deal with the immediate concerns of a life narrative. I was glad that Beauvoir figured so strongly in the text towards the end because there was a bit of universalism and dead-white-man-itude in this book, even as Setiya gestures to the fact that these crises could be experienced by people of vastly different experiences, levels of privilege, etc. The preponderance of white European men in the philosophical pantheon and the frequent allusions to rationality (is it rational to fear death if death is much like the oblivion before birth?) does approach a troubling universalism. (How much more interesting to tap into Audre Lorde's thoughts on the erotic as a way of refiguring midlife's meaning?) But Setiya acknowledges his intellectual lineage and also his personal experiences in a way that is quite endearing. And he leans heavily on Virginia Woolf, whom I cherish, especially when it comes to philosophizing about what everything means in the end and the inevitability of regret. Perhaps it is a limit of Setiya's discipline and training, but I would like to see more thinkers of color in this book--especially when he winds up alluding to very generalized principles of Buddhism after giving such a lively and particular account of Western philosophy.

An eloquent and helpful book with nicely wry self-reflection. I particularly like the closing chapter about atelic versus telic activities. I'm just finishing a major project of my own, and as Setiya (by way of Schopenhauer) points out, there is a sense of loss to seeing the goal achieved recede behind you. I would like to work on my own pattern of thinking, focusing more on the on-going elements of my intellectual life (reading, writing, thinking) and less on the checks on the list. Each project involves so many elements of the former, and my attitude tends to emphasize the latter, which again, as Schopenhauer would anticipate, involves frustration until completion and loss afterwards. In short, I need to think of writing like gardening, a cyclical, messy, and ongoing set of activities, many of them pleasurable, some of them irksome but temporary. In some seasons, I garden more; in others, I garden less. But it's not like I check "summer garden" off the list and then swear off plants forever. Setiya proposes that the intimation that all labor is Sisyphean that frequently occurs in midlife can be warded off or at least attenuated in this way. ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Dec 19, 2017 Dino rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Kieran Setiya lives up to the title of his book – he provides a philosophical guide for dealing with a midlife crisis, at the center of which he finds himself aged 40.
I read this at the midway point of age 39, so I couldn’t help feel that I am in the sweet spot of his target readership. While I am not suffering a ‘midlife crisis’, I extracted a lot of value from what Setiya has to say. Perhaps my takeaways from this book will be a pre-emptive strike against a future midlife crisis.
Setiya draws Kieran Setiya lives up to the title of his book – he provides a philosophical guide for dealing with a midlife crisis, at the center of which he finds himself aged 40.
I read this at the midway point of age 39, so I couldn’t help feel that I am in the sweet spot of his target readership. While I am not suffering a ‘midlife crisis’, I extracted a lot of value from what Setiya has to say. Perhaps my takeaways from this book will be a pre-emptive strike against a future midlife crisis.
Setiya draws heavily from both philosophy and literature to make sense of the midlife crisis, analyze the condition and accompanying feelings, and finally offer advice and suggestions for coping with them.
Early on, he distinguishes between instrumental value and final value by invoking John Stuart Mill.
Instrumental value is the value something has because of its consequences, while final value is worthwhile in and of itself.
Mill’s moral philosophy is to promote the greatest happiness for the greatest number which is of the instrumental variety. Our actions are evaluated by the extent to which they bring about a greater or lesser degree of happiness.
The trouble, as Setiya points out with a reference to Aristotle, is that without an end game of value, we enter an infinite loop with value continually being defined as the happiness of others.
Moreover, happiness cannot be reduced to a unit of measure, because values are ‘incommensurable’. A gain in one area does not subsume a loss elsewhere in our lives. “The desire to see the colours of the setting sun will not be satisfied by the sound of music. What we want are particular pleasures, not a homogeneous hedonic buzz”.
Herein lies part of the trouble that brews at midlife. In having our life take on the definite shape that it invariably has, we have to confront our losses. For Setiya, becoming a philosopher meant not becoming a poet or a doctor. The boundless options we faced as a youth are foreclosed and we feel this loss.
Part of the remedy is to consider that the specifics of our lives give us meaning as we live in details, not abstractions. “Do not weigh alternatives theoretically, but zoom in: let the specifics count against the grand cartoon of lives unlived".
Another woe of midlife is the sense of mortality that envelops us as we have lost friends or loved ones and can see the horizon of our lives. Here, the remedy on offer is to adopt an attitude of ‘temporal neutrality’, giving equal weight to experiences past and future. We don’t mourn the time before our births, so why should we lament the end of our lives?
Although as we age we have less to look forward to, we have more to look back on.
The final, and greatest source of middle-aged angst is the feeling of futility that accompanies our achievements and failures alike.
Setiya refers to a piece by Simone de Beauvoir to bring this feeling to life. “No matter what pleasures you promise yourself, when the promises are kept, the pleasures are no more. They seem in retrospect to count for nothing, or at least for less than they did in prospect, gazing at the gold mine at your feet. We are inevitably swindled”.
Each of our accomplishments is “bittersweet: longed for, pursued, and ultimately, disappointingly, complete. That’s over with. What now?”.
To bring us out of this dilemma of needing goals and desires to give our lives meaning on the one hand, and destroying that meaning by ticking them off on the other, Setyia refers us to Buddhism and mindfulness meditation.
He distinguishes between what he calls “telic” activities – those that aim at terminal states, and “atelic” activities that are never terminated or exhausted.
And all projects, while fundamentally telic in that we strive to bring about a desired outcome, have an atelic counterpart, which is the process. So Setyia says we should look for meaning in the process and not the outcome.
Enter the role of mindfulness:
“To live mindfully is to perceive the value of atelic activities, a value that is not exhausted by engagement or deferred to the future, but realized here and now. It is to resolve your midlife crisis, your sense of repetition and futility, or dislocation and self-defeat, by living in the halo of the present”.
...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Mar 19, 2018 Mirav rated it really liked it

I thought this is a really interesting and well-written book: I like how Setiya approaches the topic of 'midlife' through a philosophical "lense". In his work, he suggests other ways we might think about a phase of life that is often associated with having a "crisis" (including where we are at a particular point in our lives -- sometimes questioning our past decisions, wondering whether we "should" have 'taken other roads' (for example, in the arenas of career, relationships, etc.))

He encourages ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Jul 10, 2019 Jacob Williams rated it really liked it

That is what I believe about philosophy. It could not survive without philosophers whose commitment to answering the most recalcitrant questions leads them into difficulty. But for all its disputes, uncertainties, and complications, academic philosophy has much to offer almost anyone in the midst of living, and wondering how to live, a human life.

What this book offers: thought-provoking discussions
What not to expect: firm solutions

I appreciate Setiya’s attempt to apply philosophy to practical co ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Nov 17, 2019 Jane Costanza rated it liked it

Shelves: non-fiction

Heavy on philosophy which for me was hard to follow. The part that spoke to me the most was the last chapter regarding those who hit midlife and wonder at the futility of it all - after having completed milestones, accomplishments, projects, etc. His solution for this is to think with a more atelic mindset instead of telic, that is, think process and less project. Value the process. The other thing I got from it is how rigorous philosophy is as a study. I don't know much about it, but it is both ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Apr 21, 2020 Illiterate rated it it was ok · review of another edition

If I might offer a simpler therapeutic: get over yourself.

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Nov 24, 2020 Rohit rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2020

A guide to navigating mid-life crises and a primer on thinking like a philosopher, all wrapped into one neat little book. The final chapter on atelism feels incomplete without any mention of of flow, autotelic personalities, and the grandaddy of all of this: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. But, an enlightening and wonderful read overall.

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Dec 09, 2018 Oliver rated it really liked it

A kind of philosophical self-help book. Some interesting ideas on how to tackle existential questions. Interesting read overall.

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Dec 29, 2020 Blair rated it really liked it

A good example of philosophy made real. Asks important questions and gives wise answers rooted in a number of philosophical traditions. Well worth reading.

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Jan 24, 2020 Jericho Eames rated it really liked it · review of another edition

TL;DR enjoy doing things that have no end so you will always do them and not have to think about what is next for you. I'm bad at summarizing big ideas. ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Feb 21, 2018 Ken Hamner rated it liked it

Midlife sounds like it’s going to be complicated and dramatic. I hope I don’t get there for a long time.

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Jun 03, 2019 Meredith rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction, 2019-books

Ugh! I had forgotten how sterile philosophy is. I found the application of "logic" to real life problems completely unpersuasive. If I am resentful and nostalgic about a path not taken, for example, he applies philosophic principals arguing that without that path, the reality as I know it now would not exist and that somehow is supposed to help me give up the nostalgia/resentment, etc. Didn't work for me. ...more

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Dec 28, 2018 Andrew Shaffer added it

Philosophers: They don’t know shit, either. 😭

flag 1 like · Like · see review

Nov 10, 2017 Pete rated it liked it

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (2017) by Kieran Setiya presents a philosophical view of midlife and the author's musing on his own life. Setiya is professor at MIT who is married and has a child. It's relevant because his view of midlife is one from substantial success.

The book first presents a history of the midlife crisis and then look at the various reasons people often enter in a malaise in their forties. Fear of missing, regrets and pondering what to look forward to all feature.

The book poi ...more

flag Like · see review

May 21, 2018 Anu rated it really liked it

I picked up this book at MIT Press bookstore, where the half-full glass cover caught my eye. Coming from a prof of philosophy, it was easy to make a subject like this tedious and overwhelming. Kieran does just the opposite - the writing is compelling, cogent and simple.

I’ve complained of midlife crisis since the age of 16 😬 Which is probably more of an existential crisis, that waxes and wanes with time and situation.

There are multiple ideas presented in the book, but the central notion that sto ...more

flag Like · see review

Nov 14, 2020 Sara Budarz rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: work-career, how-to-live, death-and-illness

Years ago I taught a class that covered everything from Plato to Kant and Schopenhauer and beyond, and I will forever remember that class as thrilling and terrifying and oh so rewarding for the sheer fact that it forced me to try to not only make sense of the philosophies for myself, but rather required that I understood them so well that I was able to distill their essence to my students, and for anyone who has ever grappled with philosophy, this isn't an easy task.
And that is perhaps precisely ...more

flag Like · see review

Nov 20, 2017 Himanshu Goyal rated it it was amazing

Kieran Setiya's Midlife – A Philosophical Guide

Got it at best price from:

https://www.ideakart.com/book/midlife...

Philosophical wisdom and practical advice for overcoming the problems of middle age How can you reconcile yourself with the lives you will never lead, with possibilities foreclosed, and with nostalgia for lost youth? How can you accept the failings of the past, the sense of futility in the tasks that consume the present, and the prospect of death that blights the future? In this self ...more

flag Like · see review

Mar 03, 2021 Vanessa Princessa rated it it was amazing

Shelves: best-book-ever, book-that-stands-out-alone, blinked-and-gone-blinkist

I loved this little book. Curious topic. Very nicely written.

I read it thanks to Blinkist.

The key message in the book:

Midlife presents challenges, but it doesn’t have to dismay us. Learning to deal with regret, find time for pleasures, and appreciate the atelic can help to offset some of our middle-aged angst.

Actionable advice: Savor the rich details of reality, rather than the outlines of imagined alternatives.

If you’re still dogged by regrets and a tendency to second-guess your life choices, t ...more

flag Like · see review

Nov 07, 2017 Two Readers in Love rated it really liked it

Shelves: death, borrowed, philosophy, added-during-migration, meditation

This slim volume is like a greatest hits collection of some recent favorites on my reading list (Joshua Ferris, Stephan Batchelor, Susan Neiman, Irving Yalom) and it also introducing me to "The One Cake, the Only Cake" by Andrew Miller and the mid-life stand-up of Stuart Lee ("If You Prefer a Milder Comedian, Please Ask for One"). So, for me this book certainly had existential as well as ameliorative value, with the added atelic bonus that I enjoyed many moments of inspired wool-gathering along This slim volume is like a greatest hits collection of some recent favorites on my reading list (Joshua Ferris, Stephan Batchelor, Susan Neiman, Irving Yalom) and it also introducing me to "The One Cake, the Only Cake" by Andrew Miller and the mid-life stand-up of Stuart Lee ("If You Prefer a Milder Comedian, Please Ask for One"). So, for me this book certainly had existential as well as ameliorative value, with the added atelic bonus that I enjoyed many moments of inspired wool-gathering along the way. Well done.

I disagree with one of his proposed consolations of philosophy; the consolation of children born from paths you regret (e.g. you can not wish a path undone when a new life resulted.) This seems to me identical to the other appeals to the counterfactual that he quickly dismisses. Perhaps it is because I am a female still living, even at my advancing age, under the ever-looming possibility of pregnancy; when "all roads lead to Rome" as it were, it is harder to derive comfort from the thought, "well, I can't wish X undone, because if X hadn't happened I would've never seen Rome." (And, of course, in many cases the child itself is the primary source of midlife regret, so it is more along the lines of consoling someone who desperately wishes to escape Rome with the thought "well you can't wish X undone, as you never would've arrived in Rome.")

Whereas I do find the notion that the self has already died so many times during one's lifetime somehow consoling. (Where was I before I was born? Where is the I that existed when I was 10? All utterly changed and scattered into the seeds of something else. If I am lucky enough to live to be 80 my self at 40 will be equally so changed as to be dead, but in a way that is somehow impossible to mourn, as that death is the only possible means of continuing my life.)

Chapter 6 "Living in the Present" has an excellent cure for the "is this all there is?" of midlife for Type-A, goal-oriented readers. For the Type-Zs, like myself, who find the lure of the telic all too easy to resist, it may be less applicable. I look forward to reading some of Setiya's suggestions in the notes for a more in-depth exploration of the philosophical underpinnings of this idea.

Technical side-note to Goodreads: This is the type of book where I really miss the feature that Shelfari had the Goodreads lacks; the ability to add a linked list of books referenced by this book. ...more

flag Like · see review

Feb 09, 2018 Andrew rated it it was ok

This book is definitely heavy on the "philosophy" and that can make it a tough slog at times. That being said, in the majority of the chapters, the author is able to convey his insights in a way that resonates with the non-philosopher. There's also a very nice six page summary at the end of the book where he revisits his major points and suggestions. The book definitely put a deeper spin on the mid-life crisis concept for me. His ultimate conclusion is that to move past the mid-life doldrums, on ...more

flag Like · see review

Sep 01, 2019 Kate rated it liked it

Kieran Setiya used an interesting bibliography in the creation of Midlife A Philosophical Guide. His book was a somewhat helpful read based on the author's well thought out ideas on midlife and the midlife crisis. It his heartfelt effort to glean a meaningful philosophy about midlife for himself and others because the subject had not been covered previously in a philosophical way. Being a philosopher, he strove for personal understanding via a favorite filter and hoped that it might do the same ...more

flag Like · see review

Sep 20, 2020 Denise K. rated it it was amazing

Shelves: most-favorites

Yet another memorable tome of 2020. This book, which I purchased on a whim one morning when I was feeling blue at turning 40 (who wouldn't feel that way, given the truths of this year?!) has exceeded my expectations. Kieran Setiya was the absolute perfect person to walk me through the birthday blues. I was desperate for something ...not cheesy or self-helpy, but able to teach me a thing or two about how to leave youth behind.
Full disclosure, it's been ages since I read real philosophy — the kin ...more

flag Like · see review

« previous 1 2 3 4 next »

new topic
Discuss This Book

topics	posts	views	last activity
Goodreads Librari...: Page Numbers are Incorrect	3	345	Nov 13, 2020 11:56AM

Readers also enjoyed

See similar books…

About Kieran Setiya

Kieran Setiya

12 followers

Books by Kieran Setiya

En la mitad de la vida: Una Guía Filosófica (Libros del Asteroide nº 212)

More…

Lauren Hough on Leaving Cults, the Military, and Bad Jobs

“I'm in a weird place because the book is about to come out. So I'm basically just walking around like a raw nerve and I'm not sure that I...

Trivia About Midlife: A Philos...

No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »

Quotes from Midlife: A Philos...

“the feeling of stillness after a life of too much motion, such as sailors experience when they walk on dry land after too long at sea,” — 1 likes

“representations of the midlife crisis precede its naming in 1965, how far can we trace the thing itself? It comes as a surprise to learn that Jaques’s examples are largely drawn not from his clinical practice but from the lives of creative artists. He was struck by the frequency with which the age of thirty-seven, or thereabouts, brings either creative silence or transformation.” — 0 likes

More quotes…

See a Problem?

Preview — Midlife by Kieran Setiya

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topic
Discuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Kieran Setiya

Books by Kieran Setiya

Related Articles

Trivia About Midlife: A Philos...

Quotes from Midlife: A Philos...

See a Problem?

Preview — Midlife by Kieran Setiya

Midlife: A Philosophical Guide

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topicDiscuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Kieran Setiya

Books by Kieran Setiya

Related Articles

Trivia About Midlife: A Philos...

Quotes from Midlife: A Philos...

new topic
Discuss This Book