The Courage to Be Kind

by Jenny Levin, Rena Rosen

Have you been at the grocery store and your child points at someone who looks different and asks loudly, “What’s wrong with that person?” or “Why does he need a wheelchair?” Your first reaction is usually to hush your child and apologize to the person or hope he or she didn’t notice. Telling a child to be quiet and not look can be shameful for both the child and the person with the difference. Instead of silencing our children and ignoring their curiosity, we should embrace uniqueness in a positive way. In The Courage to Be Kind, authors Jenny Levin and Rena Rosen teach children and parents how to act and respond when they see someone who looks different. Learn with Sam and Ellie as they encounter and interact with several kids in different ways. Ellie is blunt and often offensive. Sam tries to find common ground with each person and provides an example of how to behave. The dramatization of each difference includes photographs and a list of frequently asked questions so kids and parents can learn about various syndromes together. Through a series of scenarios, The Courage to Be Kind offers a tool to facilitate conversations about kindness and to teach with the art of compassion.

36 pages, Paperback

Published February 8, 2017

Reviews

[Meredith M]

I read this book with curiosity because I grew up with a disability and even as an adult need to navigate people’s assumptions and responses. If a child, or anyone else, has a question about what they see asked with no malice but genuine openness and honesty, I would happily answer. That is rare. This is the reason I have now read a children’s picture book twice in order to ponder how children may be taught to act and respond and whether it would make a difference.

On first read I found this one dimensional, soft, nice, sweet but not strong or real, the scenarios smacked of that forced inclusivity that makes other people feel better about doing “the right thing” rather than “embracing uniqueness in a positive way” as the authors phrase it.

It reminded me of my netball coach who would gather the opposing team before a match to instruct them on how to play with me before allowing me my 10 minutes on the Court. Something done with perhaps a meaningful motivation but not with the right intention – I was never shown how to play netball and soon realised I wasn’t really part of the team. I suppose that is better than the swim instructor who queries if a mistake has been made in the lesson because I was moved up with my peers or the tennis coach who even while trying to instruct me would still lose patience and left me self-conscious that I was still in lessons with the little kids because I couldn’t keep up with my peers. The latter wasn’t helped by the parents of the other kids who would sit on a bench by the court and laugh.

That’s all before getting to high school when people would wait until I couldn’t walk around anymore before going off to do what they really wanted to. I concluded I might have been too hard on this book because it seems to have a point. When messages of otherness are absorbed early and in so many different interactions, within the family, in school and from strangers, you learn to expect rejection and pity. You learn to guard yourself. You learn not to expect to be invited and you stop trying to join in.

In my ponderings I was searching for the backstory and any commentary on this book, which brings up many reviews of the 2015 Disney live action film of ‘Cinderella’. Cinderella’s mother’s dying words were to “have courage and be kind”. As one reviewer put it: “It is the perfect message of encouragement in these times when kindness doesn’t seem to be an automatic expectation for human relationships. It is easy to be mean, and many people take the easy way out. Being kind takes more effort, humility, thought, and at times great sacrifice.”

This book speaks to the same challenges, including that to “maintain a true sense of self…without letting the darkness build walls within the heart…we too can impact generations to come as we let the world be drawn into goodness through our courage and kindness. Doing so may cause us pain”…but no change comes without it.

[Shelia Meredith]

Must read

A must read to educate yourself and others about kindness. Thank you for speaking in such a way a child can understand, hopefully the parent will learn as well.

[Debby]

One is to start by reading the text in the middle of the page, which sets up the scenario. Then, read the text at the top and bottom, to learn negative and positive reactions to the scenario. Each scenario is followed by a FAQ page about the particular condition, and photographs of people who have that condition. Overall, a good tool for helping adults and children understand how to communicate kindly with people with physical differences.

[Noah]

Incredible book for parents to help demonstrate to their children effective compassion and respect for others even if they don't look, sound, or present like one's self. I highly recommend this book to all parents and teachers.