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Hit So Hard: A Memoir

Patty Schemel,

Erin Hosier (Goodreads Author)

4.12 · Rating details · 690 ratings · 85 reviews

A stunningly candid and inspiring memoir of recovery from addiction and the '90s, by Hole drummer Patty Schemel

Patty Schemel was a drummer at the epicenter of the Seattle grunge scene in the early '90s, best known for her work with the alternative rock band Hole.

Hit So Hard begins with stories from a childhood informed by the AA meetings Schemel's parents hosted in the ...more

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Hardcover, 272 pages

Published October 31st 2017 by Da Capo Press

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Dec 23, 2017 Jennifer Masterson rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: audio, memoir, 2017

Raw, real, and absolutely amazing! I don’t know why this book is not getting more attention! Patty’s story is pretty incredible. I had no idea the path her life took. The only thing I knew about her was that she had been in the band Hole and was a big part of the Seattle grunge scene.

She talks candidly about her time with many famous musicians, including Curt Cobain and of course Courtney Love.

She went from being on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine to living on the streets turning tricks ...more

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Oct 01, 2017 Blake Fraina rated it really liked it

David Johansen of the New York Dolls likened an addict’s existence to the film Groundhog Day. The incessant quest for drugs, to the exclusion of all else, makes every day exactly like the one(s) before it. He was referring specifically to his bandmate, Johnny Thunders, but he could just as easily have been describing the life of former Hole drummer, Patty Schemel.

I love a good rock memoir. I’ll take a pass on recent bestsellers by big stars, like Keith Richards, Dylan or Springsteen, instead David Johansen of the New York Dolls likened an addict’s existence to the film Groundhog Day. The incessant quest for drugs, to the exclusion of all else, makes every day exactly like the one(s) before it. He was referring specifically to his bandmate, Johnny Thunders, but he could just as easily have been describing the life of former Hole drummer, Patty Schemel.

I love a good rock memoir. I’ll take a pass on recent bestsellers by big stars, like Keith Richards, Dylan or Springsteen, instead opting for the story of a supporting player or some underground/cult band. Unlike an autobiography, a memoir tends to focus on one aspect of a person’s life and Schemel’s is definitely the story of her addiction. If you’re looking for detailed remembrances of touring, gigs, recording sessions, interviews, photo shoots and award ceremonies, you really won’t find that here. While there are references to all of those things, they’re filtered through the lens of someone who could barely appreciate any of it because the need for alcohol, then heroin and, ultimately, crack cocaine is always first and foremost in her mind. There’s very little glamour to be found in this book and I’m sure that’s intentional. It’s a truly frightening story, and fascinating in so far as I hadn’t realized the human body could endure so much abuse and still come out the other side relatively unscathed. And, thankfully, make it out she eventually does, but be patient, dear reader, she takes you on one long, hellish journey [until nearly the end of the book’s 270 pages] before she finds redemption.

In a twisted kind of way, this was an entertaining read. I wasn’t all that into music in the 1990’s so I was not aware of how many accomplished and still productive artists came out of that Pacific Northwest scene. Mark Lanegan and members of Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees, Bikini Kill, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Built to Spill, among others, all make brief appearances at clubs, in shared rehearsal spaces and/or on the sofa of the local drug dealer. Not to mention, of course, Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, grunge’s answer to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, with all their personal drama.

After I finished the book, I sought out the documentary of the same name, which was made in 2012. It doesn’t go into nearly as much minute detail regarding the extent of Schemel’s addictions, but it does show more of her personality, which doesn’t come across at all in the book. Pity, because she seems like a pretty cool person. Someone in the documentary refers to her as one of the funniest people they ever met…well, I got absolutely no sense of that from the book. Courtney Love, on the other hand, really leaps off the page. Despite the fact that her appearances in the story are somewhat limited and fairly brief, her fierce intelligence and biting wit create a breath of fresh air in an otherwise fairly claustrophobic tale. No matter your opinion of Love, it really illustrates why some people become stars.

This is a gripping story, but not for the faint of heart. My only complaint is with the final chapter which feels more like an inspirational speech than the resolution to such a harrowing ordeal. But far be it for me to take away something so hard earned. Recommended. ...more

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Mar 02, 2018 Jen from Quebec :0) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: school, read-the-audio-book, books-i-ve-been-putting-off, female-authors, aty-challenge, reading-challenge-books, memoirs, non-fiction, books-read-in-2018

A gripping look at addiction within the music industry. Even better is that Patty was the drummer for HOLE at the height of their popularity in the 90s, so she has incredible stories to tell even *without* the harrowing heroin addiction tales. She has great stories about Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain among other notable musicians, and the story takes place during Kurt's suicide, so there are insights about that as well. As a girl who loved both Nirvana and HOLE, this book was great. It was made ...more

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Feb 01, 2020 Eric rated it it was amazing

Hit So Hard is the memoir of Patty Schemel, the drummer to the 90s grunge rock band Hole and largely details her battle with substance abuse and climb back to sobriety.

After watching the 2011 Hit So Hard documentary, while seeking an update on Schemel, I learned she had written a memoir of the same name released in 2017.

In both the documentary and memoir, Schemel is frank and appears quite honest in the detailing of her struggles of both substance abuse and her sexuality. She is also very Hit So Hard is the memoir of Patty Schemel, the drummer to the 90s grunge rock band Hole and largely details her battle with substance abuse and climb back to sobriety.

After watching the 2011 Hit So Hard documentary, while seeking an update on Schemel, I learned she had written a memoir of the same name released in 2017.

In both the documentary and memoir, Schemel is frank and appears quite honest in the detailing of her struggles of both substance abuse and her sexuality. She is also very gracious in all aspects of the documentary and memoir. When watching the documentary and reading her memoir, the viewer and reader strongly grow to root for all to turn out well for Schemel in her struggles. She does not shy away from the most difficult of details or try to excuse her behavior.

In both, the documentary and book, a quite humble and charismatic Schemel takes full responsibility for her abuses and where one might expect her to blame others or incidents for her abuses, she does not do that. Instead of blaming others for her spiral to the bottom, she provides reasons why she believes she became addicted to substances, rather than dishing out blame. Her willingness not to hand out blame is an insight into her true, admirable character. Oddly, when the reader learns more about one incident that does appear to have initiated the start of her darkest period, the reader most likely will point a finger at her bandmates, especially Courtney Love and an abusive music producer. as more than partly responsible.

Hit So Hard could have been a salacious "tell-all" memoir filled with dirt tidbits and gossip on all sorts of other people, but Schemel does not do that and only offers the deepest personal items pertaining to her self and her behavior. She does tell stories about other celebrities and musicians, but not tales that are not already known or overtly cruel. When she does tell negatively revealing stores of others, names are kindly left out.

While the memoir is dark, with harrowing descriptions and honest insight of a substance abuser, it does end on an uplifting note with Schemel maintaining her sobriety.

Hit So Hard is highly recommended.

...more

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Dec 19, 2018 Joshua Allison rated it really liked it

Shelves: on-addiction, memoir, nirvana-cobain

So real. So raw. So brutally honest. I related to her story in so many ways—being a drummer, heroin addict, kicked out of bands, homeless, and having a near death experience. The only reason I didn’t give a 5 was all because of Courtney Love and her insensitive comments. She’s so arrogant. Talentless. That wasn’t her band, it was Patty (the Author) who ran the show, the band. Go Patty!

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Nov 09, 2017 Jayne Lamb rated it liked it

Shelves: autobiography-sex-drugs-music, rock, rock-memoirs, riot-grrrl

'Hit So Hard' is certainly readable, but I'd hoped to hear a bit more about Schemel's experiences as a drummer - this is very much a memoir of heroin addiction from the get-go, not one to read if you are in a position of recent sobriety. Makes me want to seek out the 2012 documentary though for sure..

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Nov 20, 2017 Carolyn rated it really liked it

Well this book was way better than I predicted. Writing is solid, and the description of addiction is unbelievably honest. I need to go listen to Celebrity Skin 11,000 times now, see you guys later

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Nov 07, 2017 Kez rated it it was amazing

the road to redemption is a long and twisted one. Patty had it all - talent, funny, was a trailblazer in her field, and addiction.

if you had seen the documentary Hits So Hard you only know part of Pat's journey. The video diaries, photos, initmate.moments with rock God's and goddesses. The book goes deeper, inward. You follow her down the rabbit hole of success, addiction, and bad choices. You see how she had it and yet was losing it all.

this book isnt just for any Hole fan, but for music ...more

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Dec 09, 2017 Juliette rated it liked it

Shelves: memoirs, rock-n-roll, kindle-borrowed-from-library

3.5 Stars-I was a huge fan of Hole as a teenager. I saw Hole (with Patty Schemel drumming) in Minneapolis/St.Paul a few times: opening for Nine Inch Nails (Courtney threw baby barettes at us!), headlining at First Avenue (Courtney told Kurt & Babes in Toyland stories!), and at Lollapalooza 1995 (Courtney was an angry mess!). Needless to say, I was stoked to read Patty's memoir. Patty Schemel grew up in a Washington home with AA parents; AA meetings were held in her parents' living room. She ...more

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Dec 14, 2017 Tobi rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: rock-n-roll, memoir, pop-culture, local-history, punk, staff-picks, lgbtq, punk-writers, audio-book, 2017

I read this in 2017 but chose it as a staff pick for 2018. Here's the review I wrote for work:

Before Patty Schemel played drums in Hole, she was a vital part of underground music here in the Pacific Northwest. Hit So Hard tells the story of those pre-grunge days well, chronicling Schemel's time in early bands such as The Primitives, Doll Squad, and Sybil, when she was one of only a few young women playing drums in a male dominated punk scene, heroically inspiring other teenage girls to follow ...more

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Dec 30, 2017 Waverly Fitzgerald rated it it was ok

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Nov 15, 2018 N.P. Ryan rated it it was ok

When starting, I found it almost impossible to put down; by the end I couldn’t wait to.

Some of the totally self-absorbed, self-entitled behaviour and opinions of people mentioned thoroughly pissed me off.

In fact, after about the first 20% pretty much everything pissed me off.

Bleak, bland, repetitive, boring, grey and depressing.

Precisely how addiction is.

So, a work of utter genius that really brings the crass tedium home?

Maybe.

Let’s address the elephant in the book.

In the first few pages ...more

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Jan 10, 2018 Brook rated it really liked it

I’m unapologetically obsessed with rock memoirs, especially those involving 80s hair bands and the grunge scene. This one is compelling from the rock and roll memoir standpoint but also from the perspective of being a visceral, poignant, harrowing account of addiction.

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Feb 28, 2018 Carolannecat rated it it was amazing

One of the best rock memoirs I've ever read.
Fascinating and insightful!!!

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Jan 19, 2020 Thomas Mankowski rated it really liked it

Heartbreaking-ly hopeful emo: "I knew that somehow music would take me somewhere better and it did."

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Nov 25, 2017 Katie Banyay rated it really liked it

Felt like it could be a companion piece to Scar Tissue in a way. She even mentions RHCP a few times throughout. I do wish there was more! It would get to something good, I’d flip the page and it’d be a new chapter, different subject. I felt like everything happened so fast that I was missing something. I suppose it could be that’s just how it went. Well written and exciting the entire time.

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Nov 17, 2017 Kelly rated it really liked it

4.5 stars

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Sep 14, 2018 Gilly Hanner rated it liked it

Brutal, well written and thoroughly exhausting tale of addiction framed in the context of the exploding Seattle music scene in the early 90’s. The facts of being a queer female drummer who succeeds in a world where that was still relatively rare are eclipsed by the overwhelming reality of just needing to get high over and over and over again, forever. I couldn’t breathe until I finished reading it.

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Feb 27, 2018 Erin Hannan rated it really liked it

Jesus CHRIST, Patty! Firstly, congratulations on staying sober for so long, and continuing to work on it. You’re bad ass. (I’m just gonna pretend you might read this.)

This totally explains why we never knew much about you. When you didn’t do the Celebrity Skin tour, I just assumed that you could only hang with Courtney’s shit for so long.

I’d say this is a must read for Hole fans, but maybe over a certain age? I was a teenager in the 90s and I knew that there were rock stars who did heroin, and ...more

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Jul 22, 2018 Wendi Manning rated it it was ok

I knew the story going in. I wasn’t expecting any major surprises and the only surprises I got were from her incredible determination to be an addict. She actually used Layne Staley as a reference point. Seriously? If you aspire to reach Layne levels of drug use, maybe the problem isn’t the drugs.

Before anyone jumps on me for that, I’m saying right now, I had a drug problem myself, so I’m not speaking from innocence.

She comes off as the least likable member of Hole, that’s an incredible feat. ...more

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Mar 19, 2018 berthamason rated it really liked it · review of another edition

4.5 stars.

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Mar 28, 2018 Mentai rated it really liked it

Shelves: thebody, music-subjectivity

Review to come.

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Feb 09, 2020 Mark Farley rated it it was amazing

Honest, candid and frank, HIT SO HARD is former Hole drummer Patty Schemel's written account following from the excellent documentary of the same name.

Watching said documentary, I sometimes felt she held back being quite so open as she is in this book and it shows in it's reading. Which is refreshing, but it's so much easier in this medium to talk about embarrassing and shameful situations you unfortunately found yourself in, when at the mercy of the level of substance abuse Patty went through Honest, candid and frank, HIT SO HARD is former Hole drummer Patty Schemel's written account following from the excellent documentary of the same name.

Watching said documentary, I sometimes felt she held back being quite so open as she is in this book and it shows in it's reading. Which is refreshing, but it's so much easier in this medium to talk about embarrassing and shameful situations you unfortunately found yourself in, when at the mercy of the level of substance abuse Patty went through in her life. Easier at least compared to having a camera pointed in your face.

Her closeness and proximity to Kurt and Courtney during a significant period in that will forever remain in music folklore and mythology is an obvious draw to me as being a massive fan of so much of that particular scene is more than evident to me. And my enjoyment in reading this account of said time probably makes me a little biased, but I really did love this book. It not only captivated and shocked me, I learned so much about so many different things that have a special place in my heart, like certain songs, albums, bands etc.

But more than anything else, the sheer bravery on display on opening up about such a surprising and difficult life is astonishing. I had no idea of the battles and difficulties that she was going through, while I was busy just being a selfish and a devoted fan. When Patty was replaced in Hole with Samantha Maloney, I honestly just shrugged it off and just carried on as normal. Maybe a big part of was my punch drunk devotion of Courtney or just sheer ambivalence, but I did come out of this reading experience feeling a tad guilty. But hey, what the hell could I have done about it, at the end of the day?

Her story is tragic and really harrowing and again... so surprising but thankfully rewarding and one of redemption. For pure fan service, this is an excellent read. It is no embellishment to say how "in that sacred circle" Patty was to Kurt and Courtney throughout their lives together and how pivotal she was to the sound of one of the most underrated bands of that era. It's such a relief and so great to hear that Patty has finally come through the other side and has joined the LA rehab mafioso and is now leading a life of love, happiness and recovery.

And for all the memories, thank you. ...more

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Jul 31, 2019 Melissa rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This is a must-read if you are a fan of Hole, Nirvana, or the Seattle sound of the 90's. Book includes photos I hadn't seen before. The memories she shares track with other books and magazine articles I've read over the years. Her writing is solid. I was worried that the writing would be either incoherent or fake. She seems like she's pretty smart. He voice feels genuine and that was important to me. She has a feminist/pro-LGBTQ vibe. Most of the book revolves around her substance abuse issues. ...more

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Jan 30, 2018 Caroline rated it it was amazing

I originally read this book because I love Hole, the band that writer Patty Schemel played in during the 90s, and am always trying to read more about the band and anything involving Courtney Love. As an avid fan, I eagerly seek out anything I can get my hands on involving the 90s grunge scene. I initially started this book excited to read about Hole, but I quickly realized that the memoir is mostly about Patty Schemel's drug addiction. It was a wonderful read.

Schemel discusses her childhood ...more

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May 22, 2018 Brian Joynt rated it it was amazing

Harrowing but hope-themed story from Patty Schemel, drummer for Hole. Patty sheds a lot of light, information, and bittersweet anecdotes about the Seattle scene in the 90s, a revolutionary time in music and rock that was unfortunately waylaid (and eventually destroyed) by the heroin epidemic and never fully reached the potential or creative realization it deserved. Patty's story is not unique, but it's incredible in its scope, to realize she survived and lived to tell the tale when so many of ...more

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Apr 22, 2018 Natalie rated it liked it

Shelves: review

This is an incredibly candid account of being an addict (aspects of it made *me* feel grimey) and it's a really engaging quick read. To have come out the other end of such a huge addiction problem is incredible.
I would however loved to have read more about Patty as a drummer and more about her relationship with members of Hole as they are now. It felt like the book just wrapped up very quickly.
It's definitely worth reading and dropping into that world , especially if you were/are a fan of the ...more

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Jun 09, 2019 Dave rated it it was amazing

Well written. The narrative tone is detached, almost emotionless, which is an excellent choice given the subject matter; the only feelings discussed are "I'm high," or "I need to get high." Other than that, there is numbness and void.

I was pleased to discover that there wasn't too much Courtney Love in this book, because 1. Courtney Love is annoying, and 2. the book didn't turn into The Courtney Love Story co-starring Patty Schemel. I imagine that this was a conscious decision on the author's ...more

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Apr 19, 2019 Meredith rated it really liked it

Hole is probably my all-time favorite band, which is why I jumped on this audiobook (as read by Patty herself). Courtney Love's gigantic personality has always taken center stage in stories about the band, so anything that focuses on the lives and stories of the other band members is all the more interesting just for its rarity!

Hit So Hard is a memoir, and more so than a ton of band intrigue, it's really a condensed version of Patty's life story, centering around her struggles with addiction. ...more

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Aug 31, 2019 Stefanie rated it really liked it

I listened to this as an audio book, with the author reading the book. I felt like the book was 90% done by the time she relaxed and had some voice inflection in her reading. The story of her drug usage is loooooog and how she used dugs was incredibly detailed. She described in detail, shooting up heroin. I could imagine it could be triggering for some, it was certainly disturbing. I always wish in recovery memoirs that more time was spent on they got to the place of deciding to recover, how ...more

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