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Lost in the Reflecting Pool

4.14  ·  Rating details ·  680 ratings  ·  160 reviews
When Diane, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charming and brilliant psychiatrist, there is laughter and flowers--and also darkness. After moving through infertility treatments and the trials of the adoption process as a united front, the couple is ultimately successful in creating a family. As time goes on, however, Charles becomes increasingly critical and co ...more
Paperback, 320 pages
Published October 10th 2017 by She Writes Press
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Average rating 4.14  · 
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Mike Keren
Feb 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir
Pomeranz's memoir is a chilling and gripping tale of a marital hell. What makes her book send out from other abusive relationship memoirs is that Pomeranz herself is a therapist. "Physician heal thyself." This talented professional finds herself at the whim of a pathological narcissist who she has fallen in love with. It takes a life threatening illness and her husband's total lack of empathy the situation to get her to wake up to the reality of what she is living through.
This si a debut work,
Jun 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

A true story about survival. Surviving cancer and an abusive relationship. She is a true fighter. She explains the damage that an abusive relationship can do to a person perfectly. I was also I'm that situation and not many people understand why you can't just leave. Thank you for writing this,it has helped me in my healing.
Oct 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
Reading this book really makes me appreciate my husband. We may get on each other's nerves at times but he cares for me. I appreciate Diane sharing her story. In a way I would imagine that telling this story is freedom like a singer writing a song of heartbreak.

Diane went through a lot with infertility issues and than receiving a cancer diagnosis. I was shocked when Diane's former husband was unsupportive towards Diane's treatment and cancer recovery. However, the most shocking was when one day
Julie (Bookish.Intoxication)
Mar 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
I was sent a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, this novel is a psychological journey that rips your heart out then mends it with the love, honest and innocence of children.
Diane's journey is one that no one should have to go through, one that even the strongest person would have trouble facing, yet she does it with such courage and strength that it is awe inspiring.
This book make me laugh, it made me cry and it made me think, and that is the power of this bo
Gwen Velsor
Dec 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
It took a lot of courage to write such a vulnerable book. While the themes are pretty dark, Diane sheds light on aspects of abuse and mental health that we seldom see shared in such an intimate way. Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster. An intimate account from an inspirational woman.
Cheryl Whitty
Reviewed on Behalf of,
The first thing I have to reiterate is Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a true account of one woman’s struggle to come to terms with living with a pathological narcissist, and her struggle to survive and recover after nearly 20 years being brainwashed into his way of thinking. You can read the synopsis, so I not going to repeat it.
Not only is this a harrowing account, it is also addictive listening, and I had to remind myself this is real life not ficti
Laurie Buchanan
Aug 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
"This is a NON-fiction book, not a psychological thriller." I had to remind myself of this fact at every turn of the page. LOST IN THE REFLECTING POOL is a well written, captivating, first-hand account of a long-term, abusive relationship between a psychologist wife (author, Diane Pomerantz) and a psychiatrist husband; it's downright frightening. ...more
Tony Page
Apr 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Readers begin in the author’s bliss with an uncanny sense after her meeting “the one”. Despite my superficial differences (male not female, UK not US etc), I immediately walked in Diane Pomerantz’s shoes, firmly gripped by the continually unfolding, escalating challenges. Not to spoil those, I’ll simply point to the title: “reflections”. These from a partner can be “crazy-making” by distorting and stealing one's self-belief.

In the midst of this madness, a partner’s inconsistency can be baffling
Brigid Gallagher
Jun 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir, inspirational
The author a professional psychologist, shares her journey with a narcissistic husband, who just happens to be a psychiatrist. She bravely reflects on the harrowing journey she traveled through infertility and IVF treatments, the increasingly strange behaviour of her husband, her cancer diagnosis and the realization that in order to survive she must break away from his craziness.
This is a well written and thought provoking memoir that makes compulsive reading. Highly recommended.
Jennifer Allsbrook
Feb 10, 2018 rated it it was amazing
An amazing story of perseverance and strength. For my full review check out ...more
Sep 04, 2020 rated it really liked it
With loads of courage and mental strength, Dr. Pomerantz has made her real-life story come alive by her rattling memoir. Although it is beyond my power to judge this book and give a review for it, I’ll share my honest thoughts I had while reading this book.

The story is set in the 1980s, when 29-year-old Diane, a psychologist and aspiring actress meets charming psychiatrist Charles through a blind date and they hit it off. There are so many similarities between them that Dr. Pomerantz cannot ign
Oct 24, 2017 rated it it was ok
I received this book courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, She Writes Press.

This book is written as a memoir by the author. It begins with a scene where Charles, the author’s spouse, apparently does something to an unwanted cat. It takes much of the book to find what happened to the cat and understand Charles’s anger.

The author starts her story with meeting the love of her life and marriage. However, Charles’s relationship with his parents is rather estranged: “I really cannot tolerate bein
Kathleen Pooler
Apr 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This story is an honest and gripping portrayal of a woman who falls in love and marries a charming psychiatrist whose narcissistic personality disorder slowly but steadily erodes the relationship and turns into an abusive situation. The fact that she herself is a clinical psychologist adds a deeper dimension to the story. In a fast-paced story with vivid imagery she shares her journey of survival and triumph over both a marital nightmare and cancer.

With unflinching candor, she bravely reveals he
Aug 31, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Eric McDowell
Mar 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Diane Pomerantz is a Baltimore-area psychologist, but first and foremost, she is a survivor. She has successfully battled an aggressive cancer as well as a 20-year emotionally-crippling marriage to Charles, a psychiatrist and a controlling narcissist, as she details in her grippingly readable memoir LOST IN THE REFLECTING POOL. I wholeheartedly recommend this fine work, provided to me by courtesy of the author and BookTasters NonFiction in exchange for an honest review.

Charles is a deeply distur
Feb 04, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book drew me in, certainly didn't disappoint. Horrifying hearing how authors husband treated her and children. Sickening. ...more
Apr 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I had the privilege to read an advance copy of “Lost in the Reflecting Pool: A Memoir”” and it certainly was a privilege! Diane, a Clinical Psychologist, bravely tells her story in a clear and concise manner, which resulted in my completing it within a few days. As the author of “The Secret Life of Captain X: My Life with a Psychopath Pilot” I had no choice but to use a pseudonym but Diane bares all, making those of us who have been with a personality disordered partner, as well as the general p ...more
Annette Rodriguez
Nov 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Wow, just wow.
I am not easily drawn to memoirs; they're not something I look for when I browse in the bookstore. Diane's book came highly recommended through mutual friends, who are also excellent writers.

This book pulls you in from the beginning; it is hard to put down. I felt like I was right there with her. I got angry, and I cried. I kept saying, why doesn't she see what's happening!

As a woman, one is so often blamed for relationship failure, and I think part of her did not want her marri
Oct 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Dr. Pomerantz proves that it doesn't matter how educated a person is, it is easy to get drawn in by a manipulative person. Even though she is a psychologist and her intuition tells her that Charles has issues with his parents he should have worked out by now, she marries him anyway. The book begins by describing how Charles deals with an annoying cat from the previous owner and right away, I wanted to tell her to take the kids and run. Dr. Pomerantz is very adept at denying to herself and others ...more
Apr 24, 2018 rated it it was ok
The author has clearly been through an inordinate amount of trauma that resulted not only from her bout with breast cancer, but from her abusive, controlling spouse. That trauma comes through, and I can sense how difficult it was for Ms. Pomerantz to tell this story, and how brave she was to escape a truly horrible person. However, this book was very poorly written. In particular, the dialogue seems forced, disjointed and not how a person would speak in real life. The writing really detracted fr ...more
Nov 19, 2018 rated it it was ok
I found this book rather frustrating. While the subject matter is quite disturbing and unsettling, Diane's passive victimised attitude annoyed the crap out of me. Sometimes I felt like grabbing her and shaking some sense into her. Diane's a psychologist, yet she doesn't seem to notice or understand anything around her. How can a person be so oblivious? Thank God for her friends and her ever supporting dad, otherwise, I feel, she'd still be married to Charles today.
Not a happy uplifting read.
Diane Pomerantz
Feb 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
"This is a book that will not easily be forgotten and will hopefully raise awareness of narcissistic, abusive behavior. With the help of her father Dr. Pomerantz is able to escape, but for many others, that is not an option. Book Clubs should consider this as a group read based on the many topics (adoption, spousal abuse, cancer, fertility issues, etc.) for discussion."
— Penny For My Thoughts

Mar 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A Story of A Relationship with a narcissist

This is a great and amazing book! Dealing with a narcissist, alone, can be very difficult, and impossible at times. Now, marrying one and living with one is something I can't bare to imagine. I just hope one day, spoiler alert, that the author is able to forgive her ex husband because forgiveness is not for the benefit of the transgressor, but for the benefit of one's self.
Terry Goldstein
Nov 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing
If a book doesn't grab me in the first 30 or so pages, I am done with it, but I didn't want to put this book down. As I read about Diane's struggles, I got angry at Charles and how he controlled and abused his wife. This is a powerful and emotional book. I recommend it highly.
Deb Brandon
Jan 09, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Lost in the Reflecting Pool touched me to the core. Having undergone similar (though not quite as harrowing) experiences myself, I found myself in those pages, feeling the authors pain acutely. Beautifully written and deeply moving.
Reader Views
May 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (05/18)

In “Lost in the Reflecting Pool,” psychologist Diane Pomerantz takes us along with her as she reflects on her painful marriage to a narcissistic psychiatrist named Charlie. When their relationship began, it seemed that the good outweighed the bad. Charlie “did all the right things,” which caused Diane to overlook some warning signs. As time passed, the couple dealt with infertility issues, adoption and Diane’s breast cancer. Charlie’s behavior wor
Donna Frances
Feb 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book follows Diane’s journey. It can only be described as a journey. Those that have been in the darkness can truly appreciate what it’s like to finally be in the light.
This is well written by an articulate intelligent woman who unfortunately falls in love with a man that has a narcissistic personality disorder.
Those that have had experience in their lives with such people should read this. Those that have read about the disorder should read this. Those that have had the luxury of not being
Mar 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is a most interesting memoir written by someone married to a man with some serious mental health and psychological issues. Through Diane’s description of her life with Charles, it is possible to see the awful effect untreated mental health issues have on everyone concerned.

What started out as a perfectly ordinary marriage turns into a cyclone of abuse. Through Pomerantz’s descriptions of life, Charles’ actions and her reactions, it is possible to actually see how his issues slowly change he
Jun 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I expected a very difficult read that would take several days because of my reluctance to pick the book up when I put it down but what a shock when I started reading it. I could not put it down. What a story! Naturally I started judging immediately as Ms. Pomerantz meets Charles who would become her husband. Signs were there that made me question where was her mind but as the story unfolds the reader is shown what a marriage to a narcissist is like. We are shown how good the narcissist is at man ...more
I don't often write reviews, but this memoir was just irritating. Suffice it to say that an alternative title to this could have been, "I Wanted a Doctor." As the saying goes: you get what you settle for.

When she first moves to the Baltimore area as a young psychologist, Diane goes on a blind date with "Charles." He is a psychiatrist (and therefore an M.D.), and she is impressed with the comfortable lifestyle such a marriage could offer, so she is bound and determined to catch him. Despite numer
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