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Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not about You

4.44  ·  Rating details ·  727 ratings  ·  117 reviews
We live in a culture that's all about self, becoming the best "me" I can be instead of becoming like Jesus. This me-centered message affects every area of our lives--our friendships, our marriages, even our faith--and it breaks each one in different ways. The self-focused life robs our joy, shrinks our souls, and is the reason we never quite break free of insecurity.
In
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Paperback, 208 pages
Published October 3rd 2017 by Baker Books
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Average rating 4.44  · 
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 ·  727 ratings  ·  117 reviews


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Shuana Hackworth
Oct 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
If you only have five books that you can read and apply right now choose “Free Of Me”. I like this book because the author is transparent and takes us through a journey that many of us deal with. The focus of self. Sharon let’s us know in the beginning of the book “ shifting your focus off of yourself and onto God is much harder than it sounds” She walks us through her transformation of adjusting and turning her focus to God. The author writes from the prospective of a friend who has learned a ...more
Paula Vince
Jan 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
What a great and timely message to begin a new year! I love to challenge myself with thought-provoking non-fiction books between my beloved fictions, and this one is a real gem.

The author bravely lays bare her own struggle with self-absorption, which she didn't even register until the pain and misery of following the siren call overwhelmed her. Indeed, it's an unusual subject to highlight because rather than being urged to renounce it, our society coerces us to fall into its trap, thinking we're
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Donna
Disclaimer: I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway (thank you btw!) in exchange for an honest review. Which I will now give.

Once upon a time, Sharon Miller was a well-meaning but spoiled, proud, "good Christian girl". That is until her self-focused attitude started to crush her.
Over the course of her life, God lead her on a spiritual journey that shifted her focus and changed her view of herself and the world around her.

This book, inspired by her journey, is all about getting free from
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Allison Anderson Armstrong
Mar 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book! Best book for women I've read in a while and I will recommend it to everyone. It has a lot more of the down-to-earth lessons for women that really hit you where you need it. Self-focus is a huge problem in my life as well as "respectable sins" such as people-pleasing for the sake of making people like you. I have a feeling this isn't just my problem, but many women's. Many of our desires are good and God-given, but we selfishly twist them so that we are the sole beneficiaries ...more
Cyndee Ownbey
Oct 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: recommended
A quick scroll through Facebook or Instagram will highlight the many women in your church and community that are hyper-focused on self. Women borderline-obsessive about their body, their weight, their clothes, their home, their image…

This focus on self is causing great harm to the church and to our witness. As Sharon points out, “When our focus is on our own needs, our own preferences, and our own comforts, we will not love people in a way that resembles anything like the love of Jesus.”

And I
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Alyssa Cottrell
Jan 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019
The book I didn’t know I needed.
Joanna Politano
Jun 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was a FABULOUS book that was so spot-on. Our culture is full of self-help books meant to draw on one's inner strength, boost confidence, and everything else. This book turns all that upside down and gives real, TRUE answers to questions we have about ourselves and what's not working. Beautifully, honestly written with frank authenticity and great heart, this book is my new favorite.
Kate Elliott
Feb 09, 2018 rated it liked it
Wish I could give this a solid 3.5 stars. Easy read. I just didnt resonate with everything the author was hitting on. Definitely some probing/self-exposing stuff worth exploring.
Kaitlin Garrison
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
"It’s not about you” has always been a phrase that rubbed me the wrong way. That is, until I read the truths between the pages of Free of Me. Free of Me is an anthem calling us to raise our gaze from ourselves and to fix our eyes on Jesus. By fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pressures we feel from self-focus start to fall of like chains, and we discover that true freedom is found when life becomes all about Christ and others and not about us. As Sharon says, “Freedom means you are no longer bound ...more
Sarah J Callen
Oct 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Sharon's writing is insightful, encouraging, and challenging all at the same time. She opens up her heart for us to read and learn from her experiences. When reading this book, I feel like I'm sitting across from her, engaging in a conversation about life and faith.

She reveals so clearly the areas in which she experienced self-focus, helping me have the "a-ha" moment that I, like everyone else, need to be freed with my own preoccupation with self.

This book is timely and is a great one to work
...more
Ruth
Oct 22, 2017 added it
A refreshing and theologically sound pushback against the self-help approach to Christianity. Chapter division breakdowns, suggested focus verses, and discussion questions make this a good choice for group study.
Alison Wall
Jul 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
What a fantastic book! This book has helped shape my relationship with a loving Father more deeply. I never have considered myself a self centered person but there are parts of my life where I am self focused and I struggle in those areas. Working through this message has helped me depend more on God and trust in him more than myself. It has given me a sense of freedom. I encourage you to read this book and I feel that this would really benefit young adults who are tying to figure out their ...more
Rachel
Mar 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2018
A really good book on how to redeem our insecurities. I’ll probably go back to this one in a print version because I know I missed some things through audio :-)
Janie
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Such an instructional and practical read. She breaks down why we are insecure and how to get our head out of that joy-sucking mentality. I want all my friends to read this!
Rebekah McGee
Aug 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Savored this book and really enjoyed her perspective as a working mom. I highlighted so much!
Jen Bradbury
Nov 01, 2017 rated it liked it
Not long ago, I sat in worship thinking “Every aspect of this service has been entirely about me.” That week, it felt like worship pointed not to Jesus, but to me.
I’m pretty sure that a few months earlier, I would not have been so acutely aware of this phenomenon but as it happened, that week, I was in the middle of reading Sharon Hodde Miller’s Free of Me: Why life is Better When It’s Not About You. Because I was, I was hypersensitive to the ways in which we shift the focus of various parts of
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Julia
Nov 17, 2017 rated it really liked it
Free Of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not About You by Sharon Hodde Miller is a reality check that most Christian women could use to read at some point in their journey to be closer to God. Sharon starts by explaining the overall consequences of making yourself your focal point in life - whether through your achievements or your insecurities. She emphasizes that God demands for us to be other-focused and Christ-focused, while using personal stories to demonstrate how we so often become ...more
Joanne Viola
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In her book, Free of Me, Sharon Hodde Miller focuses on a cultural mind-set infiltrating more of us than not. Often we do not even recognize its presence until our eyes are opened by the truth gently being set out before us.

Free of Me addresses the mind-set of self-focus impacting every part of our lives - our relationships, our faith, our calling, our purpose. Self-focus causes us to grow short sighted as we truly cannot see beyond ourselves.

It will shrink our lives and shrivel up every ounce
...more
Jen
Oct 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
"Free of Me: Why Life is Better When It's Not About You" by Sharon Hodde Miller is a very thought-provoking book that changes the reader's perspective on their focus in life. In our culture today, everyone is focused on themselves and what they will get out of their good deeds. What's in it for me? is the new way of thinking for this generation. Sharon turns the focus away from self to self forgetfulness. God created us to use our gifts to benefit the world around us, not just ourselves. Sharon ...more
Laura
Oct 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing
What can I say that hasn't been said? This is a great book - excellent points about living life beyond your pride and your insecurities but instead for something much, much more -Christ.

I was surprised at how easy of a read this was but also how profound it was at the same time. Sharon Hodde Miller is a PhD graduate who I know has what it takes to explore this topic in a very theologically deep way. The topic - identifying self-focus in life and love and calling and faith, eventually moving
...more
NinaB
Jan 16, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-2018
I’m not sure how to explain my view of this book. It has great points, but also has some parts that didn’t sit well with me.

What I like:
The point of it is just as the title says, “Life is better when it’s not about you.” This is a message that needs to be preached more loudly in our me-centered culture.

The author has a clear outline that God, our family, appearance, possessions, friendships, calling and church are not about us. In each aspect of life, she repeats the same true message, that it
...more
Suzi
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In the introductory chapter of Free of Me, Sharon Hodde Miller tells the story of Narcissus, who was so enchanted with himself that he ultimately wasted away and died while gazing at his own reflection in a spring. It’s a story many of us have heard, but certainly would not apply to our own lives, right?

In the chapter entitled Mirror Girl, Miller says, “Looking at your reflection is practically a human reflex. If you walk by a mirror you are going to take a look. We all do it.” (p.25) So
...more
Carissa Johnson
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I received a copy of this book for my honest review.
Sharon Hodde Miller's book Free of Me is not another Christian book to add to the conversation. It's an invitation to flip your thinking completely upside down. At least, that's what it did for me. This book has given me so much to think about, and it's all integral to my daily life.
You may not even realize ways that you've made aspects of your life about yourself--your appearance, your work, etc. If you're a Christian, these things should all
...more
Jenna Baker
Oct 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In today’s culture of self-preoccupation and self-help, Free of Me delivers a message of freedom. Psalm 121: 1-2 tells us that our help comes from the Lord and in this book, Sharon gracefully exposes the dangers and holes in a self-help gospel. Instead, she continuously points us to look to Christ when it comes to our insecurities, our relationships, and our purpose.

With a strong theological understanding and a relatable voice, Sharon opens up honestly about her own struggles with
...more
Christina Zahniser
Oct 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: god-me
I have always been drawn to Sharon’s writing for her combination of great intelligence and deep theology with perfect accessibility and relatability – “Free of Me” is no different. Sharon introduces what she feels is a hole in Christian teaching, and even if you’ve never thought of it yourself, I think you’ll agree with her right off the bat; I know I did! So much of what we think is God- or Christ-focused in our faith actually has everything to do with ourselves and our own preferences, and ...more
Heather Hart
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Uncovering Sly Self-Focus

I’m not a “people pleaser,” so I wasn’t sure this book was for me. Generally, I don’t struggle with other’s opinions of me: I’m fine, thank you very much. And then I underlined, high-lighted, starred about 80% of this book. Perhaps self-focus is a bit more sly and pervasive than I was giving it credit.

Sharon gives us a candid look at her own journey to understand self-focus and it’s many masks. I identified with much of her journey, more than I wanted to admit because,
...more
Monica
Nov 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In our culture of perpetual selfies and Social Media "Look at Me" postings, Free of Me by Sharon Hodde Miller, is the counter cultural prescription that we need to read.


Free of Me is divided into 3 parts. Part One: Self-Distracted shares much of Miller's story. Part Two: Seven Mirrors, talks about when we make seven areas of our life about us: God, Family, Appearance, Possessions, Friendships, Calling and Church. In Part Three: How to Be Free of Me, Miller talks about ways we can set ourselves
...more
Jill
Oct 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Let me just cut to the chase here- I've highlighted practically every page of this book. Moving on...

I have been following hard after Jesus for 19 years, and during that time I have read numerous books, led too many Bible studies to count, and have had a consistent quiet time. I say all of that to let you know that I have NEVER read nor thought about the points Sharon is making in this book before, and it is convicting me in areas that I obviously still need work! I remember thinking to myself
...more
Bridget Jack Jeffries
Oct 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this book, though there were a few places where I felt like the author and I were living on different planets. (Note to rich people: please do not use the "we're not rich, we're comfortable" cliché, especially if you're going to talk about your "terrace" and your super-expensive grand piano at other points in the book. Thank you.) I can't even imagine apologizing for ugly dinner plates or for someone seeing me without make-up early in the morning. I mean, if you see me out in public at ...more
Annie Kate
Everywhere you look, you see them: people who are obsessed with themselves. To be honest, we see such a person when we look in the mirror as well. We all are self-centered, at least to some degree, and our individualistic, on-display culture aggravates this natural tendency.

But, as Rick Warren famously said, “It’s not about you.”

In Free of Me: Why Life is Better When It’s Not About You, Sharon Hodde Miller builds on this concept, showing how liberating it is to realize that our lives are not
...more
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“But I believe the antidote to consumerism in the church is the same antidote to consumerism in marriage. We commit to both for the long haul, not because they ultimately make us happy, but because they make us holy.” 0 likes
“Loving Father, my focus is fickle. It drifts away from you again and again, no matter how hard I try. I want to live for you, and I want to keep my eyes on you, but I cannot do it without you. I ask for your mercy and your grace. I ask for your Holy Spirit to stand in the gaps. Help me to fix my eyes on you, and thank you for your promise to do it. Amen.” 0 likes
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