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The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible

3.96  ·  Rating details ·  483 ratings  ·  40 reviews
Can you summarize the book for me in a minute? People have asked me that question hundreds of times. So here's the 3-word summary for ya: BE THE LIGHT.

What does that mean? Well, 5000 or so letters I've received from women readers on their dating woes can all be boiled down to this: Does my butt look good in these pants?

Well, ok
Paperback, 284 pages
Published by Elite Communications LLC (first published January 1st 2010)
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Average rating 3.96  · 
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Jul 05, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: All smart, attractive women who want to be in a fulfilling relationship but aren't.
I read this book 2 years ago and have since bought copies of it for six women I love, including my mother, sister and girlfriends, which sets a personal record that I doubt will be broken by another book. That may be the highest recommendation I will ever bestow on a non-fiction book, in part because it enabled me to reconsider a guy I rejected with new eyes. The book is not perfect, but it helped me see the things that matter, the things that make a guy a "Good Guy", that I can't establish with ...more
Sep 03, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I dislike self-help books. I find them indulgent and a bit ridiculous. I also feel like I don't need them.

However, I picked this one up and read it cover to cover in about 3 nights.

It is easy to read, appeals on a number of levels, both simple and straightforward all the way to the more spiritual and meditative levels...nd is also practical. There are bits and pieces that everyone, at any level, can take from this book. I expect there are dog-eared/highlighated copies all over the world of this
Apr 11, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition

I purchased this book after reading many amazing views from Amazon. Rated the best selling dating book.
Much of the content is digested and regurgitated how to love yourself theories. Whilst I definitely think this is true the book didn't really tell me anything that I hadn't already read from other such books.

I soon discovered the reason for the positive reviews from Amazon. The author offers each reviewer that leaves a review on Amazon a 15 minute coaching slot. So who would want to leave a b
Feb 11, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
More a book about general Taoism than dating, but I actually appreciated it. Now, off to find me some boys!
Jun 02, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is one of those books, particularly with that title, that you're almost loathe to add to your reading list just because it's going to pop up on everyone's feed. But a friend of mine got a kick out of and forwarded me one of Dr. Ali's Huffington Post articles on dating for people that are too smart for their own good. And I was so impressed with his perspective and tell-it-like-it-is approach (e.g., only someone so smart could screw up something so basic) that I decided to give the book a tr ...more
Mar 05, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I ordered the "Tao of Dating" while still recovering from an abusive relationship which took me almost 3 years to get over. I had noticed that I didn't trust my instincts anymore about identifying a good man and how to build a healthy relationship.
It's hard to understand or even explain why one is attracted to the "bad guy" especially if it's not that obvious in the beginning, and then, how I got so deep into this wrong relationship to the point that I didn't even notice how I was being manipula
This book is a bit touchy-feely. Some of the exercises that he advises readers to do are a bit out-there. But I guess if it helps you get in touch with your authentic self, then great. It's not the best dating book I've ever read, but it's good. I'd recommend it especially to those who have a spiritual streak or are looking for more off-beat, unconventional advice.
Karen Rubin
Mar 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was impressed with how the advice Dr. Ali B proposed for how to comport oneself while dating was actually the best advice for "Winning at Life." It's a two-fer. If you have been engaging in some dating insanity (of course you have, or you wouldn't be shopping for dating advice books), then reading this one will point you toward peace in your interactions with dates.
Sarah O'Flaherty
This book is absolutely excellent!! I never thought a book on dating would actually be useful, but this one definitely is. I would highly recommend it to any smart women who's about to head into the world of dating, or has been dating for a while and struggling with the process. Thanks Ali - I think you might have changed my life.
Jan 20, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help, nonfiction
...because I kind of suck at dating.
Christine Madlock
Excellent book on living life from a more fulfilled point of view... I highly recommend for all women regardless of whether they are single or in a relationship.
Taylor Ball
Mar 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
It seems strange and slightly embarrassing to admit that I read a dating book, but life is too short to spend time being embarrassed!

After a series of romantic mishaps, I decided it was time to take action and see how I can improve my dating life. I had started some dating books in the past but they were too sexist and too judgemental. I never felt like the book wanted me to be me. I did some research and came across the Tao of Dating.

I cannot recommend this book more! I’ve been going around t
Christine Wang
Jan 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
So, I've read my share of dating books, ever since I became single for the first time in 12 years. My biggest problems were always negative self-talk, being too harsh on myself, and having very low self-worth. I wasn't getting the kind of relationships I wanted, and when I saw that this was the #1 dating book on Amazon, I thought, why not, I probably could learn something new.

I really love the approach that Dr. Binazir took, which is, instead of just telling you what to do and how to treat men (
Jennifer Murray
Jul 27, 2020 rated it really liked it
I'll admit I wasn't super into the idea of this book. I'm an independent, career-minded woman who isn't super obsessed with finding a man to complete me. However, one of my most trusted friends (who is incredibly fierce and indepndent) recommended it so I thought I would give it a try. I think the reason why this book resonated with me is because it isn't just a book about dating. It really aims to focus on finding yourself and understanding yourself while you're dating--obviously, that is going ...more
Jan 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Loved every word of this book. All felt relevant to the tea. This book helped me to reevaluate and reanalyze myself, my dating patterns, my weak and strong personal sides and to readjust my behavior.
Uyên Nguyễn
Sep 27, 2017 rated it really liked it
The Tao of Dating is an interesting book to read. Although I have already know most of the basic knowledge about "the law of attraction" or Tao Te Ching, Ali Binazir have give me the practical ways to use those insight in dating.
Sep 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Women Need to Read This Book

So glad I read this book. I have changed alot of myself in reading this. I have a date tonight and cannot wait to go practice some things from the book. This book is a that I will refer to over and over again!!!!
Jabeen Hussain
Jul 09, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Excellent dating advice

Really good advice for a relationship. Would recommend to anyone. This guy has got it down. Especially the part about give up to get
Dec 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
I think the title is a bit misleading meaning is more about finding a self worth as a woman than dating actually. I find it very useful. Nice to read for every woman, won't be disappointed.
Jill Eshelman
This is one of the more heteronormative books I've ever read. Taoists need to get on board with the concept of gender fluidity.
I got a mini ebook by the same fellow and it hyped that The Tao of Dating was the best selling dating guide on Amazon. I decided to see what he could offer me.

I will start right now by saying this isn’t your typical dating guide. It focused as much on personal development as it did with relating to the opposite sex. The book alternated chapters on how to improve your dating skills and how to better yourself as a person.

Binazir was not messing around when he titled his book. Taoism and the Tao Te
Jan 31, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I purchased this book July 2012, after re-entering the single scene and needing some dating pointers. This book turned out to be so much more than just dating "pointers"

In the very first chapter Dr. Binazir points out "Deep down, women seek relationships not because they want a particular guy, but rather because they want the feelings that a good relationship brings them." The chapter then becomes about loving yourself fully, focusing on all the great things you already have going on in your lif
Jul 06, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I had to come back and increase my star rating of this book. I read it cover to cover in a few days back in the summer and thought, "Oh, I guess this book is alright, but what's it saying that hasn't been said before?" Another thing that held me back was that I honestly wonder whether some parts of this book aren't downright sexist (e.g., some of the feminine-masculine polarity writings).

I realized five months later, however, that I have been coming back to the book again and again. The author m
Dec 14, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
An excellent book & probably one of the most concise dating books. It has great information that I would offer to any woman (or potentially any man). I like the application of Tao to dating, it makes a lot of sense & for people who have never explored Buddhist philosophy, I highly recommend reading this since it is presented so practically & beneficially.

I also appreciate the humble authenticity with which the author presents his work, knowing that much of his advice can seem paradoxical & that
Mar 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book has quite literally changed my life. Yes, it is a book about dating and relationships. But it is also a book about how to live life to the fullest and really living life as the best you. It has helped me not only personally but relationally. It has taught me how to be a person I like and respect and as such get dates with people who I also like and respect. It demonstrates how to recognize and distinguish the really good men, how to get dates, and even start relationships.
One part I e
This is a self-help book for women which sets out to do exactly what the title says. It contains lots of nuggets of very good advice, liberally sprinkled with quotes from the Tao Te Ching and people like T.S.Eliot. It covers not only the finding and dating aspects, but also maintaining relationships once established, along with some sensible stuff about how to have a relationship with yourself first. Definitely has an Eastern slant to it (hence the Tao bit), and just to save you reading it (poss ...more
May 29, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great book for women, quite a tome on relationship mgmt from the XX chromosome perspective. If you were to read only one book on the topic, this would be it. I took off a star because of the religious buffet the author continuously presented. The part about going to a mosque to hookup with a guy cracked me up, because mosques are strictly segregated, and in any case such intentions defile one's relationship with Allah, which is the only relationship that is worthwhile in the long run.
Aug 15, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Most important take away from this book. Fulfillment is a feeling, not a person. I also loved the philosophy of Taoism that runs throughout. Striking a balance, avoiding extremes, compassion, etc - all important in the everyday, not just dating. Loved it and have recommended it to several people.
Aug 13, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The Men's edition wasn't on Kindle.
Apr 02, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
More of a self-help book than just a book on dating.
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