The Assertive Woman: A New Look

by Stanlee Phelps

Do you want to restore balance in your life? Say no and draw the line with confidence? Make the right choices? Face up to challenges and changes with courage? With the new edition of THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN, now you can. This classic bestseller, revised and updated, is an original and lively self-help resource, packed with tested exercises, step-by-step guides, and solid advice on how to express yourself with co-workers, authority figures, lovers, family, and friends. THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN debunks the tired old myths and stereotypes of women bosses, stay-at-home moms, "bully broads," and superwomen, and presents a refreshing, positive alternative. From breaking out of the Compassion Trap and countering manipulation, to nurturing a hardy spirit and reaching out to friends and lovers, THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN delivers real answers and steadfast support to real women everywhere.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Feminism

246 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1976

Reviews

[Dee]

This should be required reading for all young women. I read this when I was in my early 20s and it helped me in my personal and professional relationships tremendously. Being assertive doesn't always come easy to young women, especially for those who, like me, come from conservative cultures and very religious families.

The situations in the book may sound a little dated, but the fact is that a lot of the sexist behaviors described in it still run rampant today. I see it all the time at my place of employment. Having read this book opened up my awareness to the fact that it is perfectly okay to voice my opinions and to say NO when something isn't fair- and I don't mean just sexual harassment. I mean when it comes to things like being asked to make coffee or take notes at a meeting because of my gender.

If I had a daughter I would certainly make sure she got a copy of this and read it in her teens.

[Crina Bucur]

The content is obviously outdated and most of the things are pretty standard, common knowledge, but there are some worthy ideas nonetheless. As much as I loathe the American and feminist biases, as well as the over-simplistic and implausible examples all too common in personal development books, I found this one to have an almost acceptable number of them. Certain topics, such as raising and educating independent and strong children while also establishing authority in a positive and confident manner, were particularly spot on.

That being said, I prefer the original title - "assertive" as opposed to its Romanian translation which assumes an underprivileged baseline position to begin with.

[Rosetta Benton]

I thought it was interesting and useful. It is a good place to start for learning more about assertiveness.

[Lucy]

My therapist recommended this book to me, with the caveat that it's pretty dated. She wasn't wrong. After sifting through a lot of dated cultural references (like how Barbara Streisand is an example of a "hardy spirit"), I found some valuable tidbits and exercises about how to practice assertive communication in love and sex, and saying no. If you don't have children, skip the "Assertive Family Relationships." All in all a decent read but I know there has to be a more modern version of this type of book that I might have enjoyed a bit more. It was homework from my therapist after all, so maybe I wasn't meant to enjoy it, but to work on it? See for yourself I suppose.

[J Crossley]

I got a lot out of this book. The focus is on becoming assertive from the inside-out. the section on compassion was helpful because I tend to let that get in the way of expressing my needs. You have to empower yourself to be assertive. There are chapters on manipulation, saying ‘no,’ and dealing with inner anger.

[Kathy]

Dorie Doormat, Agatha Aggressive, Iris Indirect

[Heather]

Just trying to learn something...

[Stacy]

The copy I have is a paperback, seventh printing, April 1978 and belonged to my grandma. :)

[Elena Cata]

It was an interesting book to read. It will be more useful for the younger women or for the ones who stayed too long in the shadow

[Nora S.]

it is a great book