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New Year, Same Trash: Resolutions I Absolutely Did Not Keep (A Vintage Short Original)

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4.27  ·  Rating details ·  663 ratings  ·  85 reviews
Comedian, blogger and essayist Samantha Irby is not going to be a better person this year than she was last. Nope. With a small group of woo-woo others, Irby sets seventy micro-resolutions, and then—with the rest of us—she fails at almost every single one of them.
 
Thoughtful, witty, poignant—the failed intentions in New Year Same Trash will make you laugh and cry. Becaus
...more
Kindle Edition, 28 pages
Published January 24th 2017 by Vintage

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4.27  · 
Rating details
 ·  663 ratings  ·  85 reviews


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Esil
Jan 19, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley
This year, I made no resolutions -- especially no reading resolutions. Other years, I've always planned to be disciplined about reading what's on my shelves, what's in my kindle, what's on my tbr and books friends have lent me or recommended. And I always break those resolutions. Reading is supposed to be fun or at least not to feel like a job or a chore, so I decided to give myself the freedom to wander from one book to another footloose and fancy free.

And then I read GR friend Andrew's post ab
...more
Julie Ehlers
Jan 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: funny
LOL. I had briefly forgotten how hilarious Samantha Irby is. If you're always feeling guilty about not keeping your New Year's resolutions, read this essay and give yourself a break.
chantel nouseforaname
Funny little short. I decided to read this because the year is winding down and a new year is upon us all. 2019 beckons.

A New Year always puts me into two mindsets that are at odds with one another. One where, I'm incredibly happy for all the new possibilities that the coming year has to provide and the second where I'm also sad about a whole heap of things. Sad about things that happened or didn't happen in the past year, to things that I know I'm going to struggle with in 2019 because I'm bri
...more
Corrin Foster
Jan 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
God damn Samantha is funny.
Sarah Obsesses over Books & Cookies
omg i love this woman
Wendy Ortiz
Feb 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY. Not this lol shit but LAUGH. OUT. LOUD.
Selwa
Apr 28, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor, shorts
I recently read a short story by Samantha IrbySamantha Irby (contained in her book We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.: Essays) and it was so funny I recommended it to 2 people and made my husband sit through my reading of it to him haha! Anyway, I thought this short would be a good introduction, and also a good way to see if she's funny beyond one short story. This was hilarious and I'm looking forward to reading more by this author :)
Anna
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir, aawoc
Delightful, hilarious, and entertaining as usual. This is a really good introduction to the author's writing, for people who aren't already fans of her work. Highly recommend! I love Samantha Irby, I'll read anything she writes.
Cristina
Mar 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
I was ready to give this another 5 star rating thanks to that sweet Jibri call-out again, but it loses a star for terrible pizza opinions. I read 2 pages dedicated to cat anuses in the last book, but the anti-NY pizza line was the most offended I've ever been.
Matt
Dec 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Always a Delight

Seriously, Sam Irby is always worth reading. She could write a poem on a soiled napkin in, I dunno, ketchup and I would cherish that thing. Get it framed. This neat little list of “resolutions” is way better than a soiled napkin. Read it!
Bryony Nelson
Nov 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2017
So brilliant and so funny! I need more Samantha Irby in my life.
Wayne McCoy
Mar 02, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
'New Year, Same Trash: Resolutions I Absolutely Did Not Keep' by comedian and blogger Samantha Irby is a short essay about how most of us actually deal with resolutions. It's pretty funny.

Samantha Irby for 2016 wrote down 70 short resolutions. The idea was simple goals that could be met. In this essay, she lists them, and how she fared. As the subtitle might suggest, she didn't do all that well with most of them.

The resolutions are grouped into categories like writing, or eating well. They inclu
...more
Katie
Jan 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor, memoirs
If you haven't read her blog, bitches gotta eat, go read it. Don't even come back because she is FAR funnier than me, and I know you'll be there a while.



I snort laughed so many times reading this I lost count. Not that I was counting. It was just that...well, this is some funny shit and you should read it.

Mic drop.
Jessica
Oct 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Are we the same person???

After having finished "We Are Never Meeting in Real Life" earlier this week, I knew I wanted to read more of Samantha Irby's work. This one solidified my initial takeaway: she and I are either the same person or very closely related. Like separated at birth related. Henceforth and forevermore I self-identify as a Samantha Irby. And y'all will deal!
Kirsti
Jan 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
In a preview for her next book of essays, Samantha Irby lists dozens of "micro-resolutions" she made and explains which ones she kept. (Spoiler: Not many.) It's only 30 pages long, but it's well worth 99 cents and half an hour of your time.
Meghan
Jan 25, 2017 rated it really liked it
I can't wait for her next full-length book to come out! Samantha Irby is so funny.
Alexis
Jan 28, 2018 rated it liked it
This is a tiny little book of Samantha Irby’s micro-resolutions for the year 2017. She emphatically states that never makes resolutions because she knows there’s no way she’ll keep them, so why would she want to set herself up to fail? But she was tricked into doing this anyway. She lists 70 (it was supposed to be 100 but she couldn’t come up with the full set) things she seemingly sincerely thought she would be able to accomplish in a year. The list is divided into categories: Writing, Events a ...more
Fern F
Sep 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Samantha Irby has this ability to pinpoint a specific moment of life that you thought no one ever noticed and make it you go "omg, I do/think/feel that too!" And no where is this more apparent then in this slim but delightful book tabout all the resolutions we make and abandon. For instance, one of Irby's resolutions is "Drink tons more water," a goal most if not all of us have once made. But, as we quickly find out and Irby perfectly writes, we abandon it because "I don't have time to pee this ...more
Melissa
Jan 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
"Writing supposed to be my job right now, and even as I type this I'm wondering if there's a dish that needs to be washed. Or a load of laundry I can fold."

Irby is a genius. She's one of those writers who can cut through layers to get at the meat of an issue I'm struggling with. And she writes about chronic illness, anxiety, and just the crazy shit she sees and experiences in a way that will make you literally cry laughing then turn around and make you cry ugly tears because she got it SO FUCKI
...more
karenbee
Jan 02, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: kindle
I think I like Irby, but New Year, Same Trash underwhelmed me. It was entertaining enough -- I didn't literally lol but it was amusing (that word sounds snobby, hopefully YKWIM) -- but it was more a listicle than an essay. Irby wrote down a bunch of small resolutions one year and after the year was up, went through the list noting successes and failures. I mean, that's basically what the summary says, so I'm not sure why I expected something more.

Not my wisest impulse purchase but not my most ex
...more
Stephanie Marsh
Jan 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Samantha Irby almost makes me want to go outside.

I don't know that I've ever loved another human I've never even met (and, according to her, am never going to) as much as this one. So hilarious that I actually NEED my husband to read it but he won't so I'm just going to only speak in Irbyisms until he's heard the whole thing and then after the divorce I'll be all, "I did that shit for you--" ***Obviously I am high on this book. It's really very good, and I am a completely normal person.
James
Jan 25, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017
This is a very short quick read, a hilarious essay about New Years resolutions. I was not familiar with Samantha Irby before I read this (she wrote a blog called Bitches Gotta Eat, has one previous book, this short and another collection of essays coming out soon), but I will be seeking more out. While we are all familiar with the failure to follow through on such resolutions, Irby's honest reflections about them are laugh out loud funny.

[I received an e-galley of this book through Netgalley.]
Mehsi
Everyone tries to make New Years Resolutions, though I can honestly say I never had more than 2 or 3. :P But Samantha Irby has tons. In about 20-30 pages she will tell us all about her resolutions. From a diet for her cat to spending less money on stuff to eating more healthy or taking daily showers. Each resolution is met with a funny comment/story, and I was just laughing so loud at several "excuses" or remarks of her.
All in all, a very short book, but it was oh so much fun to read. Before I
...more
Lisa
Nov 01, 2017 rated it really liked it
I bought this after reading 'We're Never Meeting In Real Life'....Immediately after, like practically everyone else who reads her, I wanted her to be my real-life friend. (My favorite thing about her is that she doesn't put on airs or hold back....she talks about taboo subjects such as laziness and the path of least resistance, binging and eating bad food, and in this day and age of Facebook, honesty seems amazingly radical!)

Wish it had been longer, but- duh- it was a mini.
Nikiverse
Jan 31, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This maybe took 4 bathroom trips to read (and, of course, I'm snickering in the bathroom hoping the person in the stall next to me doesnt hear). It's so short but it's worth every penny!

I hilighted "anxious depressives" because i think that is literally me. If you like other internet depressives like Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half, or Sarah Anderson, Adulthood Is a Myth, grab this! Or, if you liked this, check out those other two ladies!
C.
Nov 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Short but very funny

Bless you Samantha Irby.

I dunno. I was lying there in bed reading this and just laughing out loud like a jackass. Best 99 cents I’ve spent since... heck I can’t think of one. What does 99 cents generally buy? Half a cup of coffee maybe? Not even a whole cup. And coffee stinks up your breath and discolors your teeth. This book will give you a totally absorbing and funny hour or two and no need to brush after. It’s the tits. Buy it, treat yourself.
Devi
Apr 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This was a short, quick read! Highly recommend this to fans of Roxane Gay. I smiled the whole way through, and laughed out loud quite a bit, too. It’s a 99 cent Kindle single, so go ahead and splurge! I’m going to start with one of her other book, Meaty, right now. Maybe she is what I need to get over my Reader’s Block??
Courtney
Feb 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: kobo
The same sharp, witty humour that I experienced when I read another of her books. I had her other book in audio, which she actually narrated herself, and it was one of the funniest things I have ever read/heard. My only regret about this one is that I couldn't have her narrating it for me, as well. Super short and fun read that I'm sure most of us can relate to.
Stacey Griner
Feb 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Short and sweet. Here’s something from it that made me laugh out loud:

Sometimes I try to keep a food journal in an attempt to shame myself into making better choices, but then I get all embarrassed and write shit like ‘six baby carrots’ when I really mean ‘one medium-sized pizza.’ And that is counterproductive. Because it was a large.

👏🏻
Cate
Jun 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Loved this. I casually read Irby's blog for a few years and was pleasantly surprised to hear she'd started writing books. Bought this one because I couldn't afford her latest just yet, and I was pleasantly surprised at how much it was still infused with her trademark self-effacing wit. Really enjoyable, can't wait to read her memoirs.
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“but if we’re being 100 percent honest with each other, I really can’t commit to anything once a month. I don’t even get my period once a goddamned month.” 0 likes
“48. Try to think positively. Can’t. Everything is garbage. 49. Stop talking (so much) shit. See above.” 0 likes
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