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3.64  ·  Rating details ·  331 ratings  ·  65 reviews
Brooke Danvers is pretending to be fine. She’s gotten so good at pretending that they’re letting her leave inpatient therapy. Now she just has to fake it long enough for her parents and teachers to let their guard down. This time, when she's ready to end her life, there won’t be anyone around to stop her.

Then Brooke meets Derek. Derek is the only person who really gets wha
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published September 19th 2017 by HarperTeen
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Average rating 3.64  · 
Rating details
 ·  331 ratings  ·  65 reviews

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Sep 07, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2017
"Depression's a bitch, isn't it?"
"Almost as much as life."

I have mixed feelings about this book. For once I love the message it sends. It’s a story about finding a way back into a life that one wanted to get rid of entirely. Of finding hope, love, health. On the other hand it was not as exceptional as I wanted it to be. I didn’t get attached to any characters, I foresaw many things, mostly because the author used too many outdated clichés. Even though it is such an emotional and dark topic – tha
Sep 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I've had this book for months and would constantly pick it up to pet the cover, but would always set it back down. I wasn't ever in the right mood for it. And man, I can't believe I waited so long.

I loved Brooke. She's so much stronger than her depression and it was captivating to see how things changed for her. Duckie is hands down one of the best BFFs I've read and I loved the banter and routines that he had with Brooke. I loved it even more when Tucker comes around. Derek is interesting...I
PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Lisa Mandina
Sep 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
What can I say except for that once again, Brewer has blown me away. This was a book that I could barely put down. I picked it up, and blew straight through it. Well, except for last Friday. I was having my own down day, just all kinds of things going wrong in my world, I'd ran out of my own medicine for my depression, and so I had to put the book down and take a break. That's not to say that it is a depressing book, it's just that the feelings of the main character, Brooke, and her thoughts, ju ...more
Kelly Gunderman
Check out this and other reviews on my young adult book blog, Here's to Happy Endings!

***Actual Rating: 3.5/5 Stars***

Trigger Warning!
Before I start off on my review of this book, I want to point out that it deals with things such as depression, cutting/self-harm, and suicide attempts. If that's something that may be a trigger for you, please read with these things in mind.

In the very beginning of this book, the author writes a note that mentions that there are trigger worthy things i
Christina (Ensconced in Lit)
Aug 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: publisher-sent
I rate this book between 4-4.5 stars.
This was a hard book for me to read because of how dark it starts, but it's very realistic. Brooke has severe depression with suicidal thoughts, and she really really wants to die. To the point where she requires inpatient treatment and says the right things to get out so she can just try again. The rest of the book is Brooke's journey. She meets a hot guy, Derek, who has similar suicidal tendencies and she falls in love for the first time, and has other new
Nov 10, 2017 rated it it was ok
I wanted to like Madness but I have some concerns with it. If you are writing a story about someone who is depressed and suicidal make sure you do your research. I felt some points of the book were just tied up too neatly.

The one thing that turned this to a 2 star book to me was (view spoiler)
Ciaran Mealer
Sep 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: teen, trigger-warning
"Welcome to the afterlife, Brooke Danvers."

So begins the most passionate, intense, and dangerous relationship 17 year old Brooke has ever known. Derek is the new guy at school, a total babe, and a complete bad boy. But when his carefully crafted facade begins to crack the darkness starts showing through. Can Brooke save Derek from himself, even as she fights her own set of demons?

This book is beautifully crafted, achingly nostalgic, and bittersweet to the very end. It is a love letter to those
Abby Wright
Oct 28, 2019 rated it did not like it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Hilary Evans
Oct 03, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: owned, ebooks
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Lisa Mcbroom
Oct 10, 2017 rated it liked it
Brooke suffers from depression. After being released from a facility , she fakes it even with her best friend Duckie aka Ronald. A new student Derek comes to school and she feels she has a confidante with Derek since he suffered from mental illness. However, a friendship turns into obsession for Derek and Brooke. This was an okay book. Some of it was cliched which was why it got a Meh from me.
Khadija Sesay
Dec 22, 2017 rated it liked it
I could go on and on about my grievances with this book, but they could all fall under one phrase.

"It raised my hopes and crushed them flat."

Not a quote by anyone, it was just how I felt. This book had so much potential and so much promise that it failed to deliver. I was so ready to just dump this book and quit it. But I stayed. I had to see it through. The writing, although very stripped down, offered something for me. And toward the middle, I felt something for the book. Hope. Maybe the book
Jul 16, 2017 rated it liked it
2nd book by this author. I enjoyed it but it was interesting to see that there were trigger warnings. this book was about suicide and the after affects from it. I enjoyed the therapy sessions mostly. But I felt like I was in the pretty in pink movie because one of the characters was named duckie. There was mention of breakfast club and the cure. I agree that pretty in pink was a good movie, but the name distracted me from the story. this book was good til the halfway mark, and then it went in an ...more
Read InAGarden
May 20, 2017 rated it liked it
At the beginning of the novel Brooke has just left an inpatient facility after treatment for a suicide attempt. Her parents and her best friend, Duckie, are worried about her and her lack of a zest for life. As time progresses Brooke gradually begins to see hope in her life. And things get even brighter when she meets Derek, a fellow suicide survivor. But the more s Brooke falls for Derek the more she realizes that Derek may not be in the same mental space she is.
Nov 02, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: ya-suicide
I am struggling to find the words to articulate how angry I am with this book, which started with such extraordinary potential, as Brewer captures so well the experience of depression in a way to make it at least somewhat understandable to someone who has never suffered its symptoms -- the lack of some specific trauma or definable *reason* for Brooke's suicidal symptoms is one of the most effective illustrations I've read of the truth of suicidal depression as an brain illness illness, not simpl ...more
Does Uncle Z ever fail? I say no, and this latest, perhaps his darkest novel to date, is no exception. Take all the trigger warnings at the beginning of the book seriously, and if you have issues with depression and/or suicidal ideation, take all the caution if you decide to go forth and read this book. Me, I do have such issues, though perhaps more mildly than most (and my depression is only self-diagnosed, but there's really no diagnosis to make suicidal ideation sound more "official"), which ...more
Jessica G
Jan 04, 2018 rated it liked it
Trigger Warning: Suicide + Depression

Wow, that was a hard-hitting book!
I literally didn't know anything about this book before I read the first page and within the first 5 pages or so I'd read, I was like WOAH, okay - this is getting deep. It was so uncomfortable too, which I guess was the point but it was so realistic that I was literally squirming whilst I was reading.
Suicide is such a hard thing to read about, to talk about and even think about, and with the numbers rising all over the world
Oct 20, 2019 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Amber | cozy nature reads 🤍
PUBLISHED : September 2017



I don’t even know where to begin with this book. It starts with the mc Brooke leaving a inpatient hospital. She has been there for 6 weeks because she tried to drown herself in the Black River. She doesn’t want to live. She is thinking of a way to kill herself again.

Brooke has a best friend named Ronald aka Duckie. He is gay. They both like theatre
John Clark
Jul 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
There are reasons teens kill themselves. Sometimes the reason is event related, sometimes it's a cumulative series of really bad experiences, but there are some teens who simply feel so discouraged, no reason is required or identifiable. That's where Brooke Danvers finds herself when the story begins. She's faked her way through six weeks of inpatient therapy and now her goal is to fool everyone until the opportunity to be successful at taking her life appears.
When she meets Derek, a new kid at
Jan 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
bianca wertheimer
Aug 13, 2018 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jan 11, 2018 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
May 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Dear Addicts of ink and paper,
This book is insane. Just insane. This book, when reading it, made this happy live life to the fullest and never a suicidal thought-besides morbid curiousity- teenage girl with nothing but plans for the future into someone who wanted to take sleeping pills and a pocket knife to themselves. Now that is an insanely good book. Great writing. As an aspiring writer, this book deserves a prize. Unlike so many. I'm talking about you Shadow Shaper. Unlike that book this is
As I started reading this novel I initially thought that I was not going to like it at all. The writing style did not appeal to my personal tastes and I found the narrator to be overbearingly negative and whiney. I understand Brooke was depressed, and maybe I would have connected better if I mentally regressed to my angsty teenage years, but it was not her suicidal thoughts or general depressive state that aggravated me, it was her personality. And then she all of a sudden finds this guy and her ...more
Oct 01, 2017 rated it liked it
This book gets maybe 2.75 stars. I liked it, it was ok but it did hit close to home for me for some certain situations and I related to the characters. The last 10 chapters is what made the book a bit uncomfortable and irritating. I love Zac Brewer and his books and even though I didn't love this book as much as I was expecting to, I didn't hate it either because it connected with me. It reminded me of my struggles and seeing that was really touching. It hurt a bit but was still touching.

Nov 08, 2018 rated it liked it
not bad.. a very interesting end but i kinda expected it but doesnt mean i still wasnt quite literally leaning over every word and reading the last few chapters like crazy. very nice resolution. i especially like how it focused on brooke finding self-contentment/happiness herself, i feel like this book would have really helped me when i went thru the same thing. love these kind of books it wasnt as impactful but i think i would mind reading again. either ive grown unrealistic standards for liter ...more
Feb 02, 2019 rated it it was ok
ATTENTION: DO NOT READ THIS BOOK i can’t verbally describe how much i hate it i will never get back the time i wasted on it. It’s so uneventful and repetitive and just completely and utterly rediculous in the worst possible way.
I was so relieved when i finished it it’s the type of book that you throw behind your closet and never speak or think of it again it’s just so damn stupid nothing is captivating about it the ideas are unoriginal and the main character is stupid and the entire book is stup
Aug 22, 2017 rated it liked it
Brooke has just tried to commit suicide and she wants to try again. She gets out of the mental ward with the intention of ending her life but decides to try to give it another go. Her best friend Duckie is worried about her, as are her overprotective parents. But then she meets Derek,a boy with a dark past and violent tendencies. Can Derek be the glue that will hold her together? Or will Brooke be the cause of his unraveling? This was a well written but that seemed to be a bit average for me. Th ...more
Brianna Abney
Dec 08, 2017 rated it liked it
I went into this book with low expectations honestly, I had never read any of his other books and wasn’t sure it was going to be a book i would even finish.
When I read the warning in the beginning about the themes in this book and ways to seek help, I thought to myself that I had read plenty of books covering similar topics before and been fine. I had gotten through Willow and 13 Reasons Why after all
I wasn’t expecting such a dark, honest display of mental illness in this book, but it was intens
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Z (previously Zac) is transgender and no longer using the name Heather. AKA Heather Brewer.

Z Brewer is the NYT bestselling author of The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod series, as well as The Slayer Chronicles series, Soulbound, The Cemetery Boys, The Blood Between Us, Madness, and more short stories than they can recall. Their pronouns are they/them. When not making readers c

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“I know what it’s like to be lost in that dark tunnel of depression. It feels hopeless. It feels like nothing will ever be right again. When I was at my lowest, I was absolutely convinced that nobody cared about me and I had no reason to stick around.” His jaw tightened and he balled his hands into fists, but he didn’t move or even flinch at my words. “But I was wrong. Life can be really beautiful. Even if happiness is a fragile thing, it’s worth fighting for.” 1 likes
“I wanted to tell her that depression doesn't work that way. That just because you have a moment of laughter and smiles and fun doesn't mean that you're not depressed.” 1 likes
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