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Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction
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Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction

3.97  ·  Rating details ·  570 ratings  ·  112 reviews
This book teaches frustrated, stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can actually inspire positive changes in their kids.
With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America's leading parenting experts, has a simple yet r
Paperback, 256 pages
Published August 8th 2017 by Tarcherperigee
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Average rating 3.97  · 
Rating details
 ·  570 ratings  ·  112 reviews

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Jeff Pearlman
Aug 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Yes, she's my wife. Yes, she's fantastic. But here's the thing: The wisdom in this book works. I'm witness to it. Every. Single. Day. The Family Coach knows her stuff, and will change the dynamics in your house for the better. I promise. ...more
Aug 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
** edited**
It wasn’t the Louvre, but the Eiffel Tower. Holy Hell. So grateful I read this before we left.
I’ve been really good at ignoring behaviors and praising the good the last few months but I had some specific questions, especially since we’ve been doing so much public parenting. This book is the best. On a two hour flight I read most of the book and charted out the events that led to undesirable behavior, the behavior, and the result so I could clearly see when things were unraveling and
Clare Bird
Sep 04, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2018
Things I enjoyed about this book: 

I truly enjoy when someone, in this case Catherine, gives me the go-ahead to "ignore" my children's behavior. Re-read that and reminder I said ignore the behavior not ignore my children. I thought this book had some great points and reminders that we don't need to over parent our children. Sometimes the best solution is to ignore them.

The Things I Didn’t Enjoy: 

Like most parenting books, this one contained a lot of fluff and because I was listening to it, I coul
Sep 11, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: audible, non-fiction
The fact that we even need a book telling us that we ought not engage with every single annoying behavior that our kids display says something about the state of American child-rearing. But, this is the age of hyper-parenting in which many moms and dads vacillate between slathering our children with undue praise and yelling hysterically at them when they push us too far, so what would have seemed obvious to our grandparents' generation is novel to us.

This book is helpful in that it gives us per
Jun 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I wish I could go back in time to when my kids were toddlers and apply the lessons I learned in this book, it would save me years of suffering! But even now, with two middle schoolers, the lessons I've learned from the book are already working their magic. "Ignore It!" is a quick easy read that I recommend to parents of any age children (as the author says, it's never too late to start applying the philosophies she outlines). The writing is straightforward and clear, the instructions are explain ...more
Aug 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting-books
This book gave me the freedom to stop engaging with my kids' frustrating and emotionally-draining behaviors, and it WORKED! Less negotiating, fewer meltdowns, and way more enjoyment and satisfaction for everyone. This is a quick, practical, and action-oriented read for parents of toddlers through teenagers. Highly recommend! ...more
Ramsey Hootman
Oct 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This is going to be the book I recommend from now on whenever people ask me about my parenting strategies. I picked up this book thinking, "Hey! That sounds like what I do!" - and I was right! For that reason I didn't get a whole lot out of this other than encouragement to keep on doing what I've been doing, because it's backed by science and experience. My kids are by no means perfect, but they are kind, generous, (mostly) respectful little humans who are fun to be around. I hope it doesn't sou ...more
Aug 30, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: audiobooks, 2018
Some useful concepts here, and several I want to apply more mindfully (tracking of bad behavior to see how to best eliminate it, better planning for tough times, listening (while ignoring) and reingaging when the bad behavior is over). However, this book suffers from the same egocentric issue as Baby Wise and other parenting books: "If you follow this program and your child still isn't perfect, look in the mirror, b*tches, you messed up. Be perfect on this program 100% of the time, or your child ...more
Dana Resnik
Jul 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing
With her direct and relatable style (and a measure of good humor), in this book Dr. Pearlman tackles the stressful behavioral problems that parents of kids of all ages face on a daily basis with her sensible and refreshing Ignore It! approach. The book reads as if your "smartest and most supportive best friend" is giving you this advice, and is filled with useful and easy to follow tools and examples. I will be recommending this book to parents of littles, parents of tweens and teens, and even g ...more
Jun 15, 2020 rated it really liked it
I learned a lot from this book. The slightly disappointing realization is that I'm already pretty good at ignoring; the most troublesome behaviors with my kids right now are the ones that she recommends not ignoring. Instead I think I need to implement some rewards to create new habits and be better at enforcing consequences for bad choices I can't ignore. The book does give some good suggestions for how to do that, but it's going to be a bit of work. I would recommend this book for anyone who h ...more
Aug 08, 2018 rated it liked it
As with many parenting books, I didn't finish this one. It frequently happens that whatever problem at home I'm trying to manage is over before I've even finished the book, and I like dabbling in different parenting techniques to find what works for our family. The book is well written and has lots of great examples and felt like good old fashioned parenting to me. I might turn back to this book again one day when I need some inspiration. ...more
Nov 14, 2017 rated it liked it
Turns out I've been doing something right and that I was already aware of deficiencies in my parenting. There were lots of moments of "Yep, guilty as charged." The most intimidating take-away is that for however long undesirable behaviors have been accepted/tolerated, you can expect it to take at least that long for real change to happen. *sigh* ...more
Kelly Weed
Jan 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
Lots of helpful ideas on dealing with problematic behaviors. I wish there were more tips for adapting some of the techniques for dealing with multiple kids at once because that is the one thing I’m finding hard to implement (it feels useless to ignore when one of the other kids is giving the bad behavior attention). One on one I have been seeing great results.
Katie Fitzgerald
Aug 30, 2018 marked it as did-not-finish  ·  review of another edition
I really wanted to read this, but my library only has the audiobook edition, and I just can't get into parenting books unless I read the actual words myself. For now, I'm not going to finish it. ...more
Lindsey Sanders
Jan 31, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Short read, but packed full of helpful information. Now I just need to get my husband to read it so we can be on the same page.
Adam Ricks
Jun 23, 2019 rated it really liked it
I think the book has some really good ideas. Especially with kids on high alert during the summer, it will be good to test some of these ideas out!
Dec 19, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book has a lot of really good points and ideas to implement in your parenting strategies. All of the stories and real life examples made reading it easy and more enjoyable. The strategies harder to employ in real life 😂
Sep 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Very logical, straight forward, doable, and it is working so far!
Jan 09, 2021 rated it really liked it
A simplified, more concise presentation of the principles found in both "The Incredible Years" and "Parenting with Love and Logic" books. ...more
Sep 25, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: audiobooks
Really like the ideas here.
Apr 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 4-star
I’ve heard a lot of this information before, but it was helpful to go over it again and make a plan of how to implement it with my kids. This approach seems to be super effective!
May 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I am having my husband listen to this and I am excited to discuss it with him and implement it. I’ve started ignoring certain behaviors which has really freed up my mental and emotional energy to focus on what I enjoy about my kids. I feel like I am enjoying motherhood and not just enduring it.
Ellie Wertheim
Mar 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Brilliant parenting book with loads of practical tips for parents with kids of all ages. The book is written with care and humor-- every parent needs this book!
Liz Busby
Really loved this one. It's all about how to get rid of obnoxious behaviors using scientifically valid techniques that work. The title is also fantastic. 😂 ...more
Dec 27, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting, self-help
I checked out this book after reading an Instagram review about how helpful it was. At first glance, it seems simple enough but after picking it up, I realized that there is so much more to the whole concept of ignoring a child's behavior. Personally, I would like to parent with less yelling-- but it often feels like yelling is the only way my kids will listen to me! Catherine Pearlman addresses this and many other concerns in this book, and writes with plenty of knowledge and wisdom in a voice ...more
May 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
Operant conditioning + parenting = this book. Don’t reward unwanted behaviours by giving into your child’s demands. In fact, don’t engage with them at all if they’re exhibiting undesired behaviours such as whining, making funny noises, or trying to engage in negotiation. Any type of attention is a win for the child, as they know there’s a chance of getting a reaction and potentially winning the battle of wills with their parents. Instead of engaging, literally turn your back to them and do somet ...more
May 06, 2021 rated it liked it
Turns out this parenting technique actually comes pretty naturally to me. It was still helpful to read, particularly the breakdown of what behaviors should be ignored (annoying, attention-seeking bad behavior) and—this was a good reminder for me—what behaviors absolutely should not be ignored (e.g. good behavior, sneakiness, inherently rewarding bad behavior, ignoring of parental directives).

I did disagree with the time-out chapter. No matter how much the author claimed that time-outs aren’t pun
Apr 26, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Devoured the first half of this book about selectively ignoring annoying or unwanted behaviors. The approach seems straight forward and doable. However, one struggle is the approach seems based on one-on-one interactions between parents and children, without other siblings involved. This is not the case with or large family. Especially as my children often act out by going after their siblings, which I something I CANNOT ignore. Then, I lost steam in the second half as I’m skeptical of time-outs ...more
Amalie Simper
Feb 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Honestly, after reading a lot of parenting books, I feel like I have finally found something that will work for us. There are a lot of aspects to this approach that we have tried and not been consistent with. This is why I feel like it will work for us. Things that are more intuitive and natural in the way we already do things, is easier to incorporate. After listening to the audiobook I immediately bought it on amazon and started reading it again slowly with my husband. I liked that not only di ...more
Maggie Maxfield
Apr 13, 2021 rated it liked it
Reading this book, I felt a huge weight lift off of me. You mean, I don't have to respond to EVERYTHING my kids do in order to be a good parent? So I tried it as stringently as Pearlman describes in her book. I even made a chart. But something didn't sit quite right. Her IgnoreIt! (patented? should there be a TM?) approach is based squarely on the shoulders of Applied Behavior Analysis, which is a theory that emphasizes presence/absence of behavior as THE relevant statistic. This approach, even ...more
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Goodreads Librari...: Please update the cover for 9780143130338 8 192 Jul 20, 2017 11:42AM  
What kind of behavior can be ignored? 1 7 Jun 07, 2017 02:00PM  

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