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On Becoming

3.46  ·  Rating details ·  268 ratings  ·  42 reviews
Toke never envisaged that she would be a successful media personality. She began her journey as a bubbly child but grew into a lonely teenager after the devastating loss of both her parents. For so long after, it seemed as though she would never find herself.

On Becoming is the real Toke Makinwa telling us what it is like to be one of the most talked about celebrities in Ni
Published November 28th 2016 by BookBaby
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Average rating 3.46  · 
Rating details
 ·  268 ratings  ·  42 reviews

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Davidson Ajaegbu
Dec 05, 2016 rated it liked it
This book glorifies the maxim - Love is blind. But it doesn't end there, it also depicts that love is stupid and senseless.

Personally I think what toke felt for maje wasn't love but inflation tainted with a high dose of obsession. This book is bound to make you feel sorry and angry, for me, it left me more angry than sorry.
Nov 30, 2016 rated it it was ok
First, I feel I should mention I’m not a fan of Toke Makinwa. As in, I never followed her vlog; I didn’t even know she was on radio till this past Sunday. I was aware of her, I knew her name but I never bothered to find out anything about her. So, I didn’t follow the drama around her marriage.

Now, I am not here to psychoanalyze the dynamic of her relationship with her ex or express my dismay at the level of naivety she displayed through it and the amount of crap she put up with in the name of lo
Zinhle Ngidi
Feb 05, 2020 rated it liked it

I have never read a book that I should have felt sorry for a person but felt angry at her choices. I know I might sound judgmental but yooo this girl!!!

Firstly she fell inlove with a guy that never put her first. That treated her like nothing, that would cheat daily and ignore her in the process. When she finds out about his infidelities, he will not answer her calls for weeks, like ignore her, who never cared even if her friends or cousins saw him with other girls. She found messages where he w
Chinny okonkwo
Dec 13, 2016 rated it it was ok
With the hype, I was expecting something really amazing but fell really flat. The beginning of the book was promising and that was just it. Felt like I wasted my time and was praying for the book to end. The 2 stars was for the effort.
Folio Review
Jul 19, 2020 rated it did not like it
This was annoying AF to read! I'm not even sure this review would fully express how annoyed I was at reading this book. Even remembering the book is triggering.

I expected so much better from an OAP, who had so much youngsters looking up to her for career and life advice. But, NO. Toke just had to talk about her RELATIONSHIP and her EX-HUSBAND and CLARIFY why she HAD to focus the ENTIRE MEMOIR on her ex! Why? Because she was tryna say her own side of the story about her "failed" marriage (I put
Samuel Maina
Dec 06, 2016 rated it liked it

I for one believe that falling in love is a good thing. But for one to fall in love without using brains is dangerous.

The red flags in Maje's and Toke's relationship were as clear as day but she just gave it a blind eye. I do not understand how Maje was so convincing to her every other time. I guess it is love.

You can love someone for all the right reasons and end up on the receiving end. As they say "all moss points to civilization".

If a man leaves a relationship trust me he is already boar
Kenechi Udogu
Jan 29, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: bame
To say that this book annoyed me is an understatement. I put it down so many times in anger and considered if I should bother carrying on because it felt to me that Toke decided not to see what was right before her and coated this insane abusive relationship with the word, love. Whatever she felt for Maje was obsessive and needy and, in part, encouraged his behaviour because he knew she would always take him back in spite of all the cheating and lying. I'm not saying I didn't feel sorry for her, ...more
Sami Tunji
Dec 08, 2016 rated it really liked it
There are so many things I want to say about this book, but I will develop my review later....

I think Toke has proven to be strong and stupid. Her memoir is a sad story, a moral lesson to everyone, especially those in an abusive relationship...

I reserve further comment on the book for now...
Nengi Douglas
Nov 27, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Raw, real and deep. I could understand and relate to her experiences. She told a personal story in a deep and unbiased way
Chioma Chukwura
Dec 12, 2016 rated it did not like it
This book was a waste of my time.
Onyinye Ihezukwu
Dec 03, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I wept (a little)

I was greatly moved by this story. I was surprised at myself for crying a little when Toke mentioned Maje 's reasons for not being able to let go of Anita. I'm amazed at this Maje of a man. What sort of a human is he? Why did he marry Toke in the first place if he never loved her? God save womankind from men like Maje Ayida. I hope Anita finds her perfect baby daddy in him.
Dec 07, 2016 rated it really liked it
i don't even know whether to applaud or beat some sense into Toke for going through what she did for 12years! Maje is a sociopath. There are two sides to a story but i don't care about his side; what he did to this woman no matter what she did to him was appalling and downright evil! Thank God she's come to her senses and making some money while at it ...more
Bukola Okogbe
Nov 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing
It take courage for one to share their failures with people. Toke Makinwa is a very strong woman to have shared her story without holding back.
Timi Waters
Feb 25, 2021 rated it liked it
Bob Marley in one of his popular songs said,” One good thing about music is when it hits you feel no pain.”

Can he say the same for love?

Does love hit? I think not.

Love bludgeons. It brutalizes, leaves you raw, open, vulnerable,and weak.

Love, in Toke Makinwa’s “On Becoming” presented itself in all its gory (Yes, GORY)

I will not bother going into how the book made me feel. 😠🤢🤧🤒

All I’ll point out is what it made me see.

The author like most “Becoming a Mrs.” addicts fell in love with pain.

The signs
Dec 02, 2016 rated it liked it
Toke Makinwa is a brave woman. It is not easy for someone to bare her mistakes and her failures in a book. We read memoirs about people being great, this is a total flip of the norm. But as they say you learn more from tragedy than a bedtime story.

On Becoming is a sad memoir about the shattering of trust by a waste of a man. It is important that people take time to know thyself. We have to spend time to do a psychological evaluation of ourselves once we reach adulthood. Lots of failure can be av
Judith Mariel
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Tracy Sereti
Jan 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
I felt like punching Toke a couple of times while reading this book because, Oh My God! How can one be sooooo ....Stupid? And patient. Wasting over a decade of your life all in the name of love? Wow, she really has a totally different definition of love.

Anyway, I didn't lose my parents at 8 and never had daddy issues, so she could be having her reasons to behave the way she did. Was this meant to be a memoir or something like that cos it feels like it shed light only on the love side of her lif
Adeola Kaphy
Jun 06, 2017 rated it liked it
‪Very detailed.The signs were there from the very beginning but then love blinds us and we give chances we shouldn't be giving at all.She came,saw and conquered.She found herself through it all.She chose finding herself than getting stuck in a place of constant unhappiness.To let someone you have memories with go is a horrifying and lonely thought.God bless you Toke and may you find happiness in all the different aspects of your life.Your book has inspired and will keep inspiring.The Lord just b ...more
Mercy Okiro
Jan 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
Raw, sad but also empowering especially for women in Africa on the need to empower themselves socio economically. Made me angry at times due to the vicious cycle but it is her story and I am not here to judge how she chose to tell it. Wish there was more about her career but I think she needed to let out the pain of her relationship out. All the best to her.
Unati Majeke
May 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Wow I bawled reading this book and learned so many valuable lessons I'd missed in my own life. Toke wrote this book in such a non judgmental and compassionate way that when I saw myself in her as I read; instead of judging myself for my mistakes I gained the wisdom to rather grow from them. I am in awe at Toke's grace and strength. She is an inspiration! UM💕
Medrin Kituyi
Jun 30, 2020 rated it really liked it
This is a good book for single women or those who are experiencing problems in their relationships/marriage. It provides an analogy of the various stages of grief one goes through when a relationship fails and how to recover from it. It's also a depiction on how to make lemonade from several lemons that are thrown to you. ...more
Nov 29, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A good read

I would recommend this book. It's relatable to anyone from Nigeria background, where the system and society have let lot of people down. Especially women. I can't wait for the part where Toke becomes a happy and successful global citizen with her family.
Nkechi Esan
Dec 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Touching and inspiring

I liked Toke’s candor. This book will help you if you are going through marriage problems and also motivate you to love yourself and be careful to pick the right partner.
May 27, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
It was just ok.

It was just ok. It read more like a tell-all book than a self help book, or even a memoir.
Josephine J
Mar 23, 2018 rated it really liked it
Enjoyable & easy read...Nice one!
May 27, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Good read

Enjoyed reading this book , but the ending was disappointing for me. Could be better. Easy to read and follow.
Dec 21, 2018 rated it did not like it
I did not enjoy this book. I also did not like the fonts, it was difficult to read
Obiangeli Odogwu
Feb 07, 2019 rated it it was ok
Its a book one must read
During the relationship she saw the red flag let just saw she was too in love to let go.
Annatalia Wandera
Apr 13, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Very nice and emotional story. It really brings out a lot of truth about how the African community has impacted many people, especially women, who live in fear of judgement. What an amazing book!
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