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322 pages, Paperback
First published January 16, 2017
“Oh my God. Drew’s penis was so wide and long it looked like he was carrying a whiffle ball bat.”
“Do I look stupid to you? You just broke into my office.”
“Your office? I think you took the wrong turn at corner of Crazy and Nutjob.”
“Drew chuckled. “You’ve ridden my face and my saying tits and pussy makes you blush.”
Egomaniac read like it had a thousand pages. I kept wondering if it would never end.
Granted no one reads romance novels for its plausibility, still, the plot was unconvincing. Here are a few issues that bothered me which in turn made this less entertaining:
1. Drew, at 29, has an office and a penthouse flat on park avenue. Park Avenue in NYC! Did I miss when the author told us he was a trust fund baby?
2. He has one friend. 1?
3. As this hotshot divorce lawyer, it seemed out of place that he had no staff. Yes, we get his assistant was on medical leave but why didn't he have a temp? For the entirety of this book, he had no staff. How does a legal practice function without at the minimum, a paralegal?
Are we to believe he typed his court documents, handled clients issues, appeared in court AND still had time to fight his ex-wife, fuck his new office tenant and spend time with his 6yr old son? Look, I know Emerie helped out by answering calls and stuff, still, something rankled.
1. Who moved to NYC because a guy she fancied herself in love with had recently relocated there. To top that, she rents an office space, pays cash, yet has no legal documentation for said transaction. This by a woman who practices as a psychologist? *Laughs, but not a funny laugh*
2. She has Zero friends. At 28? Why? Even if she recently relocated from Oklahoma, didn't she have friends back home? Someone to talk to on the phone?
Moving on. The plot.
As this is the 3rd book I've read by Ms. Keeland, I notice she's a thematic writer. Much like Alexa Riley with insta-love and Jordan Silver with caveman heroes, Keeland usually has a villainous ex-wife or as was the case in Bossman, a deceased GF. Point being, there's usually a 3rd character whose main purpose is to instigate conflict. How utterly predictable.
Much of the above could have been unnoticed- or overlooked- had the MCs had a relationship that progressed beyond sex. I'll confess to being unimpressed by their banter.
Further, I searched hi n lo for the chemistry but it remained elusive and I disliked how Keeland blatantly juxtaposed Emerie with Drew's ex. Emerie being the saintly woman who would follow- for love- any man to anywhere and Alexa as the woman who would follow the man purely for cash. Honestly, I thought Alexa the smart one. *shrugs*
Finally, I HATED how the declaration of the I Love yous was unveiled through Roman the "Peacemaker". *stumps feet* Hated. It!
You may wonder if I liked anything about the book. I did. That cover....yum! But, a cover does not a story make.
Overall, forgettable and utterly predictable. Please, no knives.
“I have moves. I swear. I’m just all sorts of off tonight because of everything that happened.”(…)“If we’re showing off moves, I’d be happy to demonstrate some of mine, too.”
“I think your body likes me, and your head is fighting it. The two should fight it out like adults—naked in the bedroom with me.”
“I might not like to eat at fancy restaurants, but you’ll always be fed, and I’ll eat you until you’re the one screaming obscenities.”
“You're the color in my black and white world.”
The night I met Drew Jagger, he'd just broken into my new Park Avenue office.
I dialed 9-1-1 before proceeding to attack him with my fancy new Krav Maga skills.
He quickly restrained me, then chuckled, finding my attempted assault amusing.
Of course, my intruder had to be arrogant.
Only, turned out, he wasn't an intruder at all.
Drew was the rightful occupant of my new office. He'd been on vacation while his posh space was renovated.
Which was how a scammer got away with leasing me office space that wasn't really available for rent.
I was swindled out of ten grand.
The next day, after hours at the police station, Drew took pity on me and made me an offer I couldn't refuse. In exchange for answering his phones while his secretary was out, he'd let me stay until I found a new place.
I probably should have acted grateful and kept my mouth shut when I overheard the advice he was spewing to his clients. But I couldn't help giving him a piece of my mind.
I never expected my body to react every time we argued. Especially when that was all we seemed to be able to do.
The two of us were complete opposites. Drew was a bitter, angry, gorgeous-as-all-hell, destroyer of relationships. And my job was to help people save their marriages.
The only thing the two of us had in common was the space we were sharing.
And an attraction that was getting harder to deny by the day.
She pushed one and proceeded to report the crime of entering one’s own office. “I’d like to report a robbery.”
“Robbery?” I arched an eyebrow and looked around. A lone folding chair and crappy metal folding chair were the only furniture in the entire space. “What exactly am I stealing? Your winning personality?”
She amended her complaint to the police. “A breaking and entering. I’d like to report a breaking and entering at 575 Park Avenue.” She paused and listening. “No, I don’t think he’s armed. But he’s big. Really big. At least six feet. Maybe bigger.”
I smirked. “And strong. DOn’t forget to tell them I’m strong, too. Want me to flex for you?”
“Do you usually order lunch? I’m afraid to go out and miss the delivery.”
“Sometimes. What are you in the mood for?”
I shrugged. “I don’t care. I’m not picky.”
“How about Indian food? Curry House is a few blocks away and delivers quick.”
I scrunched up my nose.
“You don’t like Indian food?”
“Okay. How about Chinese?”
“Too much MSG.”
“I’m allergic to fish.”
“Too heavy for lunch.” “You do understand what the phrase ‘I’m not picky’ means, right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Of course. You’re just picking weird stuff.”
“What would you like to eat, Emerie?”
He nodded. “Pizza it is. See? I’M not picky.”
“You have three seconds to get out of my office. Otherwise you’re giving me permission to do whatever I want with you.”
I swallowed. My voice broke as I held his gaze. “I Came in here to yell at you.”
“I like it when you’re angry.” He paused. “One.”
“You like it when I’m angry?”
“I find it turns me on. Two.”
“You won’t do anything at three if I tell you to stop.”
He inched even closer. “Of course not. You trust me. But you won’t tell me to stop.” He paused. “Last chance.”
I stood frozen as he counted off his last number. “Three.”
Before I could object, his mouth crashed down on mine…
“Being a parent is a choice, not a right… Anyone can become a father, but it takes a real dad to love and raise a child as his own.”
”Never in my life had I felt so much desire. It was so powerful, I wanted to cause him pain. Which was completely out of character for me, I liked sex sweet and loving. This was pure, unadulterated, carnal need…"
EGOMANIAC was such a beautifully adorable and hilarious and moving office romance! Run to your nearest amazon to get your own Drew Jagger - this one is MINE! And I mean both the guy on the cover and the guy in the book! ☺
“Do I look stupid to you? You just broke into my office.”
“Your office? I think you took a wrong turn at the corner of Crazy and Nutjob."
“You're the red in my black and white world.”
Watch full trailer -> https://www.facebook.com/435952616513...
Sometimes what you’re looking for comes when you’re not looking at all. - Unknown
“I’d go three hundred and sixty-four days thirsty if it meant I got to drink you in for just one.”
“Are you saying you’ll allow me to add color to your life?”
“I’m saying you already have. You’re the red in my black and white world.”
"You're really crass. You went from sweet to pig in ten seconds flat.
"This tastes like turpentine." Emerie's face twisted.
I sipped. "It's twenty-five-year-old Glenmorangie. That's six-hundred-dollar-a-bottle paint thinner you're drinking there."