Have you ever felt like a hamster on a wheel, furiously churning your way through life but somehow going nowhere? It seems like there’s a barrage of information surrounding us in our everyday lives with the keys to this thing or that thing, be it wealth, success, happiness or purpose. The truth is, most of it fails to capture what it truly takes to overcome our greatest barrier to a greater life…ourselves. What if everything you ever wanted resided in you like a well of potential, waiting to be expressed? Unfu*k Yourself is the handbook for the resigned and defeated, a manifesto for real life change and unleashing your own greatness.
Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his tough-love, in-your-face approach to coaching. Coupled with world-class training and development, Gary has created a potent brew of effectiveness and the ability to reach through the crust of people's lives and root out the deeper issues that consume them and tie them to their hurdles. His ability to elevate and expand people's greatness makes the kind of life-altering impact that is so rare in the industry. Gary's hyper-awareness and years of elite training allow him to assess each client and guide them to the path that best expresses their lives; with micro precision, he cuts straight to the heart of what is going to make a difference.
Gary's experience and quick ascent to becoming a senior program director for one of the world's leading personal development organizations is proof that he is dedicated and committed to what is possible for every client and person he encounters. He doesn't claim perfection. He's been through life and doesn't sugar coat his folly. He uses his experience as both a human and a world class coach to mentor and coach people to raise the bar higher for what they once thought would be their greatest self.
Gary John Bishop is one of the leading Personal Development experts in the industry with a global reputation that has impacted tens of thousands of people worldwide. His "urban philosophy" approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives. He calls it like it is while being influenced by ontology, phenomenology and the philosophy of some of the world's greatest thinkers. You be inspired, unburdened and grounded. Working with Gary creates the space to be an altered version of you. The greatness you once imagined becomes a reality, only its bigger, better and more incredibly freeing than you dreamed it could be. His work life changing.
Gary is willing to say what needs to be said. His writing is a higher level experience and the benefits of his philosophies have touched lives worldwide.
Should I read into the fact my mom gifted me with this book?
Gary John Bishop embraces his Scottish decent in his no nonsense, get your shit together diatribe in the astutely titled self help book UnF*ck Yourself. The book is broken into seven personal assertions that are labelled and then thoroughly broken down and explained in repetitive detail.
I am willing I am wired to win I got this I embrace uncertainty I am not my thoughts: I am what I do I am relentless I expect nothing and accept everything
Like most self help books Gary John Bishop isn't reinventing the wheel but to me most self help books aren't informing you of anything you didn't already know, they are simply reminding you with gusto and enthusiasm that you are responsible for your own life. No one is going to help you get that better job, lose the weight, get your soul mate that is always in the end going to come down to you. It is all stuff we as human's are aware of at the bottom of our excuse ridden hearts, but sometimes you need that little reminder that it's time to make some actual change.
The chapter that most resonated with me was, I am not my thoughts: I am what I do. This chapter plays against the running theme in most self help books these days where you are told to put out positive energy and you will be rewarded with positivity, make that dream board and the universe will provide you with your dreams. This book takes that hippie dippie nonsense and puts it plainly thought without action does jack shit for your life. Although being a positive person might be a nice comfort at the end of the day if you're ultimate goal is to marry your dream guy but spend your days in bed watching Netflix don't expect those thoughts to snuggle you at night. Some of the most successful people in the world have depression, anxiety, and addiction they are far from the epitome of happiness because at the end of the days it's going to be that day-to-day grind that will ultimately change your life and not that happy thought you put out into the universe once in a blue moon. You can't wait for mental contentment to help you get in the mood to go to the gym, it's those that go when they are sick, sad or lazy that will have your dream body. So stop just thinking and start actually doing.
All and all I enjoyed this read it is short and definitely not sweet but I think we are babied and coddled too much and it's nice to have a realist come in, give you a mental slap and say get your shit together!
This replaces the previous harsh one star review. I stand by what I wrote and still don’t like or recommend this book. But, one star reviews seem to draw a lot of random likes and comments and I’m tired of seeing them every time I open Goodreads and being reminded of this otherwise forgettable book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Quite liked this. Straight talking, no bullshit, easy language, and a fast read. Bishop details seven "personal assertions" to live your life by:
I am willing I am wired to win I got this I embrace uncertainty I am not my thoughts: I am what I do I am relentless I expect nothing and accept everything
Laying it out like this make it sound like it's new-agey affirmation, staring into the mirror and repeating "I got this," but it really isn't. Rather it's Bishop telling you to pull your fucking finger out and DO THE THING. Of all the assertions, the most important is I am not my thoughts: I am what I do. Bishop insists we act, even if/when we don't feel like it. If we don't act, then we need to face the fact we're not willing. I like this approach, but I can see it would be alienating for some people. So, say, for example, you have executive function disorders, Bishop would say being willing means learning and practicing strategies to overcome or work with these. You don't get to say "I want to but I can't." You brain might be telling you you can't, but your brain's thoughts are not you. Hence this book would slot in well with a meditation practice. You will know if you find this approach helpful or annoying.
As a psychologist I often like to read self-help books my clients might read or my students might encounter. Sometimes I use them to drive home points or offer them as resources. I like to see what is out there. This book is actually pretty good at illustrating basic Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and REBT principles. For that, I would have given it a solid 4 stars! I think it drives home the very very very basics of CBT in a "average citizen" sort of way. However, if you have ANY exposure to therapy or CBT or self help then this book is probably nothing new. Additionally, it really doesn't offer any actionable steps or advice on what to do. It tended to be very general. Minus a few stars for that--I could see that being VERY frustrating for people.
All in all, it is an excellent first step for many but it is going to be repetitive for those who are at least a little experienced in this genre.
I listened to this on Audible, where Gary John Bishop's Scottish accent adds priceless enthusiasm and flavor to the material.
The material for that matter, is nothing new, just basic self-empowerment tenants. But something about having basic tenants spoken to you in an aggressive Scottish accent is inspiring.
It's not a life changing book, but at under 3.5 hours as an audiobook, it did help me change my attitude in a few distinct instances throughout the day. And I can attribute some good days to the good attitude that this book gave me, so I'd say it's worthwhile.
I am so glad I didn’t buy this book and just borrowed it from the library instead. When I first started listening to the audio version of this book, I was excited and eager to learn something new. But this isn’t new. It’s completely recycled. And not only that, the messages Gary John Bishop is regurgitating are some of the most garbage personal improvement messages out there. As others have pointed out, Mr. Bishop has some seriously privileged blinders on and completely ignores marginalized populations. These are the messages as I heard them:
It doesn’t matter how much abuse you’ve suffered.
If you can’t attain your wildest dreams, it’s your own fault.
Give it your all, but expect nothing.
You deserve nothing.
You’re going to die.
You’re a fuck up. Stop it.
Don’t have enough money? Let me sell you a program I made!
Mr. Bishop is not a therapist. He is a motivational speaker with, from what I could find online, zero mental health training. He’s just another shill trying to make a buck from the natural human desire to improve ourselves.
I think Bishop is going for the direct, "tough love" type approach with this book, which presumes that the reader is perpetually miserable, lazy, fat, and unsatisfied. These assumptions restrict his meandering diatribe to exactly that which he claims to loathe--a basic mantra-driven self-help trope that lazily posits, "Just do it!," as its main thesis. If that commanding cheer was enough to rip people from the grips of paralyzing fear (of change, unpredictability, the unknown, or even basic discomfort), than the first hundreds of books published just like this would have completely erased the market for books just like this. In short, Bishop offers nothing psychologically, philosophically, or socially insightful to the conversation around why we often do things that are self-destructive and misaligned with our ultimate goals. There is potential here, though, as an introductory self-help text if you have literally never read one before.
This is a short book that definitely has some inspiring words in it, although in this time in history, some of the stuff he recommends doing really can’t be done until the whole world isn’t quarantined (like starting a new job or relationship when we’re not supposed to leave our homes would be tricky). I read this to help do the best I can today and what can I do when the world returns to something like normal.
He talks a lot about our self talk and how we can talk ourselves out of taking actions because we’ve decided whatever the goal is, we’re too stupid or the goal is too unrealistically hard. Positive self-talk can dramatically improve mood, boost confidence, and increase positivity. “The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.” Even things like doing laundry or vacuuming can seem overwhelming.
If you view success as something that’s just around the corner, you’ll work you butt off to achieve your goal and will be energized and alive. Look at stumbles not as “This is a misfortune, but “to bear this worthily is good fortune.”
The main point is not just about getting yourself in the right frame of mind, it’s about taking actions every day to meet your goals and not coming up with excuses like you didn’t sleep well the night before. He’s very big on not talking about what we’re going to . . . later. You have to start to talk like “I accept,” “I embrace,” “I assert.” There’s a big difference between “I am relentless” and “I’m going to be relentless.”
“Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people. Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances.”
“If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation—in other words, if you’re will to put up with your situation—then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen. You have to ask yourself: Am I willing?”
• Am I willing to go to the gym? (During quarantine: Am I willing to sweat to the Insanity workout DVDs I already own once I dust them off?) • Am I willing to work on that project I’ve been putting off? • Am I willing to ask for a raise or quit this shitty job?
We want changes right away, but we have to think realistically. If you want to get in better shape, is working out for half an hour a day really impossible?
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Teddy Roosevelt.
Other points: Embrace uncertainty—it’s the only way to change—by not being comfortable all the time. You will get judged—for the novel you write or the business you start. You’ll go on dates to meet someone special and sometimes he’ll be boring or sometimes he won’t find you charming and attractive, but you took action to find romance and maybe you learned a thing or two.
“When you stop searching for certainty, when you quit trying to make sense of everything, a lot of your stress will simply melt away.”
“You are not defined by what’s inside your head. You are what you do. Your actions.”
“You don’t have to feel like today is your day; you just have to act like it is.”
You change your life by doing, not thinking about doing.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie.
It’s not about psyching yourself up. Don’t wait for the mood to strike. Just do it. Your mind will remind you of all the other things you could be doing and bring out your doubts, but by taking action, you’ll shut down those other thoughts and start feeling empowered to change.
“We would accomplish more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi
The other cause for disappointment and giving up is our expectations. Expect the unexpected. The unhappiness lies in the gap between hidden expectations and reality. In marriages, the biggest cause of discord is unmet expectations. Don’t expect victory or defeat. Plan for victory, learn from defeat.
If you can’t stop watching TV long enough to get you life together, you obviously don’t want to change. Figure out what you’re willing to live with and what you’re not willing to live with. Are you willing to always buy larger size clothes and get winded walking up two flights of stairs or are you unwilling, and therefore willing to work out and eat a more healthy diet.
Okay, let's set things straight, a lotta people are saying this book ain't nothin' and I really don't appreciate that. I 've come across so many self development books and articles, videos and stuff, it never once mentioned that by going against the diet thing and deciding to eat whatever you want, that's considered winning. There are seven chapters, each one of em hits home fo' real. I definitely recommend this.
UNF*CK YOURSELF is another of those self-help books that is more of the same, however, this one is with a kick. The message is simple - we need to get out of our heads and act now.
Do you want to feel like someone kicks you in the groin first then explains to you how you've been ruining your life? If the answer is yes then this is the perfect book for you.
Bishop doesn't talk nice and sweet. He makes it feel like one of those "adult talk" sessions with your grandfather if you know what I mean. Also, there are some nice examples as to how we can unf*ck ourselves.
Overall, it's an effective read with a darn good narration for the audiobook.
I quite like this book. It's a different approach and a kick in the butt to get you out of a rut. One of the most important bits to take away is that we are not our thoughts but we are what we do. Bishop insists that we need to act, even if we don't feel like it. When we choose not to act, we need to face the fact that we're not willing. Inaction is, in effect, action and can be debilitating and have a domino effect. If you just want a hug and to be told nothing is your fault, well, this probably isn't for you. If you want to put your big girl or boy pants on and get on with it and make things happen, then this is a good place to start. Would also be a good gift for a friend or family member who might need a not so subtle kick in the arse. Yep. Definitely recommend.
"This is a conversational slap from the universe to wake you up to your true potential, to unfuck yourself, and get spectacularly into your life." - Gary John Bishop, Unfu*k Yourself
Gary John Bishop has written a short, interesting, and rather novel self-help book. Well, the title isn't novel. It seems to flow into a rather popular subcategory of self-help book dedicated to "unfu*king, not giving a f*ck, or f*ck feeling". What he's basically doing, I guess, is now referred to as urban philosophy. Perhaps that means philosophy done while wearing a tee-shirt, or tagged on walls, or making Heidegger, Gadamer, Epicectetus, Seneca, etc., feel like they are hip, modern, and wearing tight, stone-washed jeans. Things sell better when they feel like they are up-to-date. Rebooting stocism works. We've even seen it with mega-churches where the pastors are tattooed and wear Gucci sneakers. The message is sometimes the medium.
Still, I did enjoy it. And, it only took a single bath to eat, digest, and accept:
1. "I am willing." 2. "I am wired to win." 3. "I got this." 4. "I embrace uncertainty." 5. "I am not my thoughts, I am what I do." 6. "I am relentless." 7. "I expect nothing and accept everything."
من خیلی معتقدم که اگر کتابی رو در زمان مناسب خودش نخونم ممکن هست اصلا از اون کتاب خوشم نیاد.بر خلاف تمامی تعریف هایی که از این کتاب شنیدم اصلا به دلم ننشست. شاید بعدا که تو زندگی کم آوردم سراغش بیام تا یکم امید واهی بده بهم:)
It's hard to leave a negative review of this book without falling into one of the many traps we find ourselves falling into as human beings or, as the author puts it, the ways we fu*k ourselves. Fortunately, I don't have to. As a tool for turning one's life around, it could possibly be the most effective book of all time in this regard. Such a statement perplexes me then as to why some people would leave negative reviews such as, "there's nothing new here" or "there's no new information" or "it's too simplistic" etc. But frankly, they're missing the entire point of the book and that is to break down the barriers of those who would not usually consider personal-development books with brute force, the kind of advice you would usually get from a fervent family member. This is the book for people who have a cynical view of the personal-development industry — a cynicism that needs to be rooted out if you are to achieve anything in your life. So if you're somebody who has read a whole bunch of these books as if it's a sport, then perhaps you've fallen into the trap of being overly analytical and figuring things out in your mind rather than reaching out to people who could help you. And I say this because it would be absolutely tragic for someone who genuinely needs help, who genuinely wants to improve their situation, to have their cynicism validated and compounded by some of the negative and unhelpful reviews I've read here. I can't highly recommend this book enough and if you're the slightest bit motivated to improve your life then look no further.
„Ne stoje vam na putu drugi, nisu ni okolnosti ono što blokira vaš razvoj, nego vi sami i negativan samogovor koji neprestano vrtite po glavi. Ova knjiga nudi osvježavajuć, izravan pristup koji će vam pomoći da prevladate samonametnuta ograničenja.“ Gary John Bishop u ovom priručniku nudi alate i savjete potrebne da razbijete okove koji vas sputavaju, a drugačiji pristup je taj zbog kojeg je ova knjiga drugačija od ostalih ovoga žanra.
Last year, my mom and I linked our Audible accounts in order to share audiobooks. Err, well, rather, we linked our accounts to share audiobooks, but then I cancelled my membership, because I was bad bad bad about getting books because my credits were gonna expire and then not reading them. So now my mom just donates some of her credits to me when she doesn't know what to get, and also judges my choices when I use them on bleak social justice shit. LOL
Anyway, I needed a quick audio to listen to while making dinner, and this one was the shortest available of our combined selections. At 2x speed, it was about 2 hours of listen time. And, sigh... it's been a while since 2 hours felt so long.
There was some good in this book. Reframing negative thoughts and habits, and being more positive and considerate with ourselves, and accepting that shit will go wrong and just rolling with it and continuing on anyway. Pushing ourselves to the goal we claim we want but don't work towards, not waiting for some magically perfect time to do it, or for it to just happen, but just getting on with it. All of this I can get behind.
But some of it was just... NOPE.
All the stuff about "YOU are responsible for your situation... If you live in a shitty house, have a shitty job, make shit money, etc... Nobody is to blame but you. You have to choose to change it. You can choose to work more/harder/better to make more money, or get a better place... It's on you and nobody else, so fix it if you want better."
All of that struck me as exceedingly privileged, especially considering some of the books that I have been reading lately about exactly how stacked against certain people every single facet of the (American) system is - housing, education, employment, etc. It's pure privilege to think that just wanting it more and working harder will achieve anything, when the system is absolutely and literally built to keep certain members of society from economic or social mobility.
I get what he was trying to do. And for a large segment of society, it's fine. Many of us sit on our asses and bitch about the things we don't have and wait for them to be delivered to us. But throwing a blanket "You have to WANT it and WORK for it" statement out there, without taking into account that there are ACTUAL real reasons for some people to not have the life they want feels a lot like blaming the oppressed for their oppression. When a large section of the population is disenfranchised by design... someone else IS responsible for that, and no amount of reframing internal thoughts and making better personal habits or "just doing it" will fix it.
So. Yeah. I get that, being Scottish, he likely isn't really all that familiar with the American system of racism and disenfranchisement and oppression - but considering that he specifically called out the Untouchable caste in India, but only as a "someone always has it worse than you, so stop making excuses" example... He should be. And yet he offered nothing of substance or value for anyone whose problems are real and OUTSIDE of their own mind.
So... to me, this book has little value. I was tempted to give it 2 stars for the good things I mentioned above, but those are pretty self-evident to me, and all of the rest of it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, so I don't think I can justify it.
گریجان بیشاپ صفحه ۱۳ کتاب میگه: "این کتاب ممکن است برای خیلی از افراد مفید باشد و حتی روشهایش هم به بیشتر افراد جواب بدهد. اگر دست من باشد، و کسی از من بخواهد که این توصیهها را عملی کنم، مانند این است که چیز مزخرفی را بهزور به خوردم بدهند. ممنونم نمیخواهم! از تمام "بچه مثبتها" عذرخواهی میکنم چون قرار است در این کتاب به مسائل دیگری بپردازم که با کتابهای روانشناسی کلیشهای متفاوت است، و اساسا در مسیر دیگریست." 🔸️راستش رو بخواهید تا اسفند ماه پارسال من حتی یکدونه کتاب روانشناسی یا انگیزشی نداشتم، اما حالا سعی میکنم هر چند ماه یک کتاب از این ژانر بخونم! من این کتابها رو تلنگر یا مجموعه پیشنهادات میدونم و برام قابل تامله اما به این معنی نیست که بپذیرمشون! چیزی که تو این کتاب دوست داشتم اینکه گری جان بیشاپ، نویسنده، در فصل اول تکل��ف ما رو با کتابش مشخص کرده و میگه: 📖"تنها راه مطالعه و تعامل با این کتاب این است که آن را در خودت جستجو کنی، و گفتههایم را امتحان کنی. برای اندیشیدن به خود و تجربه کردنِ آن، وقت بگذار. هیچ دانش و حکمتی بلاتر از دانشی که خودت آن را تجربه کرده باشی نیست. . ⚠️ اگر خیلی زودرنجی، همین الان از خواندن کتاب دست بکش، کتاب را به کسی که در زندگیات هست و فکر میکنی شاید بهدردش بخورد، هدیه بده." خُب من فصل اول رو تو کتابفروشیمون (*بهشت*) خوندم و همین رک گویی و ادبیات خودمونی نویسنده ترغیبم کرد حتما بخونمش. خودت را به فنا نده کتاب کم حجم و خیلی خوبیه که بهمون یاد میده چطور از شر دغدغههای ذهنی رها بشیم. خُب خیلیا مخالف اینطور کتابان چون فکر میکنند یک نسخه رو برای همه تجویز میکنند اما من دوسش داشتم و مطمئنم بارها بهش رجوع خواهم کرد
Not the worst self-help book I’ve read, but not the most memorable either. I do have to say though that Gary John Bishop was very motivating – I liked the 7 personal assertions he broke each chapter down by:
1. I am willing 2. I am wired to win 3. I got this 4. I embrace uncertainty 5. I am not my thoughts; I am what I do 6. I am relentless 7. I expect nothing and accept everything
The main idea this book presents is that you can’t just sit around waiting for life to hand you things or for you to be ‘ready’ to face certain challenges that come with making positive changes. Although the message is a good one, the manner in which the author conveys it does come off as a little bit aggressive at times, and I could see how one could be turned off by that. Usually with these types of books, there is an ‘aha moment’ for me, and even though some of his insight was important and something I needed to hear, I just didn’t feel that. For this reason, I have given it a 2, however, if I really think about it, it was probably closer to a 3 as I did enjoy it for the most part – I just didn’t feel as strongly about it as I would have liked.
Don't let your mind control you any longer. Stop letting it hold you back with its excuses and distractions and worries. You are not your thoughts. You are your actions. You are what you do. And your actions are the only thing separating you from where you are and where you want to be. This isn't just about seizing the day; this is about seizing the moment, the hour, the week, the month. This is abut seizing your fucking life and staking a claim for yourself as though your life depends on it. Because, the reality is, it does.
The advice is basic stuff about breaking negative thought loops. So the question here is whether someone using F*CK as a bad word and yelling at you in a Scottish accent is particularly helpful to you for getting the message across. For me, not so much.
"You are not your thoughts. You are your actions. You are what you do. And your actions are the only thing separating you from where you are and where you want to be."
Each person is his own worst enemy!! Overthinking every thought, action and problem will just make everything much worse than it actually is. And sometimes the hardest thing is to fight yourself. But that is also the most important thing to do. You have to be in charge of your own thoughts and be your own motivator and number one fan.
I listened to this in audiobook form. I didn’t finish it because I knew most of the contents already. The information provided, and the way the narrator explains the text, is just right! I like the “REAL” approach that the author takes. This is probably the most honest, down-to-earth self-help book that I have ever read. And I have read quite a few considering my major is in Social Work, specializing in Trauma therapy and Substance Abuse therapy specifically. Great book. Highly recommend!
Anyone who follows my reviews (all three of you) know that I have a weak spot for dumb self-help books and I have to read one like every month. This one was a good one. It's short, helpful, and a nice reminder to get your expectations in check. Nothing revelatory here, but it's an easy read and I think he's basically right and the advice is sound.
Bishop offers nothing new in this book. I'd heard all of it before.
Maybe it's the fact that mine was the audio book and he's Scottish. Maybe it's the title. Maybe it's his use of expletives within the book. Not sure. But it gave me just the kick in the groin I needed to put common personal development themes in play... to act. So the sub-title is really on point.
Bishop also presents "detachment from outcome" more succinctly than anyone I've read thus far. I had understood it, but found it difficult to put into practice in the way it had been presented to me before. By pointing out the difference between formulated goals, and the path to them in the real world, it all came together in a more practical way.
Can't say whether or not the dead-tree version would have impacted me this way, but I'd highly recommend this book on anyone's commute. I'm probably going to be revisiting it many more times.
یکی از روان ترین کتاب هایی بود که با موضوع خود شناسی و کمک به خودمون خوندم،ترجمه اش خیلی عالی بود. خود کتاب هم بدون حاشیه و بدون شعار های الکی، حرفی که میخواست رو مستقیم میزد و از پرگویی که کتاب های این سبکی دارن دور بود. میذارمش جز کتاب هایی که باید دم دستم باشه، که هر از چند گاهی دوباره بخونمش. از کتاب: «هیچ راهی برای تسلیم شدن وجود نداره،هیچ راهی برای ترک تلاش وجود نداره،»