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Being a Dad Is Weird: Lessons in Fatherhood from My Family to Yours

Ben Falcone,

Melissa McCarthy (Foreword)

3.71 · Rating details · 809 ratings · 146 reviews

Foreword read by Melissa McCarthy and featuring the voices of Stephen, Margaret, and Flynn Falcone.

A funny and intimate look at fatherhood from the actor and writer/director of The Boss and Tammy that combines stories about his own larger-than-life dad and how his experiences raising two daughters with his wife, Melissa McCarthy, who also penned the Foreword, are shaped by ...more

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Hardcover, 240 pages

Published May 16th 2017 by Dey Street Books

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· 809 ratings · 146 reviews

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Mar 20, 2021 Heather K (dentist in my spare time) rated it it was ok

Shelves: paperback-or-hardcover, non-fiction, memoir, actor-celebrity

*1.5 stars*

Have you ever told a story about your family that you know is really funny but no one laughs and you think, "you just had to be there." That is this story. Maybe we just had to be there to appreciate Ben Falcone's Being a Dad Is Weird: Lessons in Fatherhood from My Family to Yours.

I have a deep love of celebrity memoirs, especially from comedic writers (See: A Very Punchable Face). However, more often than not, they fall flat on their faces (See: My Squirrel Days). Still, I knew that ...more

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May 24, 2017 Alyssa rated it it was amazing

Shelves: own-kindle-book, 2017

Amusing and light hearted memoir about being a parent and being parented. As the author is from my hometown and was in the same class as my brother in high school, there is an added pleasant nostalgia. With my current stress about the world in general, this book offered a nice respite.

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May 23, 2017 Gisela rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2017-book-challenge

This book had a great combination of storytelling and humor. There were many times I found myself laughing out loud, and many relatable parenting moments. A fun read!

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May 28, 2017 Darcy rated it liked it

An entertaining musing on fatherhood from Ben Falcone. Lighthearted and heartfelt.

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Jul 13, 2020 Zach rated it liked it

Shelves: memoir, dad-lit

3.9
While I was reading this it seemed a bit better than good, but not quite great. Now that I have finished it I find that I really enjoyed it. Go figure. All in all, a worthy addition to the Dad-Lit canon.

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Apr 28, 2018 Carrie George rated it liked it

I was super lucky to have my name drawn for a giveaway for this book. I had put it on my ‘to read’ list after I saw Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy do an interview on Ellen, and here are my thoughts:
Overall, I think this book is great. The stories involving Ben’s childhood are pretty hilarious. The story when his mom puts on the sombrero is probably my favorite. I also find it extremely refreshing that instead of Ben Falcone writing about himself in a way that would say ‘Hey, I’m famous now, th ...more

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May 19, 2017 Samantha Plotkin rated it it was amazing

Shelves: first-reads

Thanks to Goodreads for the ARC. I would rate in 4.5 stars so I'm rounding up. Being a Dad is Weird was a fast, enjoyable read on the beauty and weirdness of parenting and being parented. ...more

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Mar 09, 2020 Kris - My Novelesque Life marked it as dnf

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, humour, hollywood, dnf-2018

DNF @ 10%
2017; Day Street Books/HarperCollins

I was not able to get into Falcome's writing style (or humour). This may work better as a stand up routine or an audiobook format. As a book it was too simplistic and lacked editing (though this could be due to the eARC).

***I received a complimentary copy of this ebook from the publisher through Edelweiss. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.*** ...more

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Jun 08, 2018 Jill Lapin-Zell rated it it was amazing

Ben Falcone, the husband of actress Melissa McCarthy, writes this charming and witty book recounting his experiences about and with his father, Steve Falcone. Using his upbringing as a backdrop for his own experiences bringing up his two daughters, Falcone tells us, in entertaining anecdotal fashion, that fatherhood is all about humor, love and kindness.

In her foreword, Melissa McCarthy lets us know that her husband’s greatest attributes are his “gentle kindness and supreme weirdness.” All of Be ...more

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Oct 16, 2017 Ashleigh rated it really liked it

I’m so glad I picked this book up on a whim. Ben Falcone essentially wrote a love letter to his father, a thank-you note for his upbringing, and had it published. This book is lighthearted, joyous and laugh-out-loud funny. Without a hint of drama or scandal, it was a perfect reminder for me that kids thrive on love and to stop stressing so much about the other stuff.

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Mar 13, 2019 Veronica Foley rated it really liked it

4.5/5. This was very funny and I really enjoyed learning more about Ben Falcone. This was short and sweet. He is very relatable and fun. I loved that the audiobook has the people he is talking about speaking. The only downside to the audiobook is the photos he describes so I checked out the ebook as well so I could follow along.

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Nov 19, 2018 Phyllis rated it it was amazing

Good read; certainly made me think about how I responded to my kids as they were growing up. They’re all great but as parents; we worry that we could have/should have handled things differently. Lovely stories throughout.

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Jul 16, 2018 scarlett pierson rated it it was amazing

This is sweet and if you live in Southern Illinois he really loves on it too. It’s a love story for Carbondale!

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Jun 20, 2017 Meagan rated it really liked it

Enjoyable quick read.

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May 09, 2020 Koren rated it liked it

Shelves: humor

I did not know who Ben Falcone was before reading this book. Turns out he is married to one of my favorite comic actresses Melissa McCarthy. This book is more about his relationship with his dad, but there is some anecdotes about his own children. I think this would be better as an audio book. I think a humorous book depends on what your mood is. There were some moments that made me smile, but no laugh out loud moments.

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May 21, 2017 Myka-lauren rated it it was amazing

Shelves: goodreads-giveaways

I received this as an ARC through goodreads giveaways. I'm not a Dad or son but this was a great read & I'm making my boyfriend read it next. Often memoirs by funny people tend to disappoint me but not this one! I was literally lol'ing. The balance between humor, storytelling & heart was on point. Thank you Ben Falcone & your Dad for sharing your beautiful relationship! ...more

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Aug 08, 2017 Gail rated it liked it

Ben Falcone wants you to know he’s not fancy. Take the following passage: “[O]ne of the best ways to be a good dad is to find a great lady to be the kids’ mom[,] … a great wife who is a great mother…. My own mom is a great lady.” Does Ben Falcone, Hollywood director, know a synonym for “great”? He must. At the very least someone at HarperCollins could have been paid to look one up. But that’s not the vibe of “Being a Dad Is Weird.”

In this short memoir, Falcone is just a simple, nervous guy from Ben Falcone wants you to know he’s not fancy. Take the following passage: “[O]ne of the best ways to be a good dad is to find a great lady to be the kids’ mom[,] … a great wife who is a great mother…. My own mom is a great lady.” Does Ben Falcone, Hollywood director, know a synonym for “great”? He must. At the very least someone at HarperCollins could have been paid to look one up. But that’s not the vibe of “Being a Dad Is Weird.”

In this short memoir, Falcone is just a simple, nervous guy from the Midwest with a handful of common observations on parenthood (e.g., “All of that pales in comparison to the worrying I do about my kids. I worry—oh how I worry—about my kids.”). The lackluster writing is partly thanks to Falcone not having his normal arsenal of facial expressions and gesticulations to help sell a funny line, but I’m guessing it mostly owes to the manuscript’s origin as an internal memo of sorts, a Christmas present for his dear old dad. But at some point, someone decided to run with the folksy style. Even Melissa McCarthy’s introduction lacks carefully crafted sentences and deep thoughts. I almost stopped reading a quarter of the way in, wondering why anyone would publish something so devoid of literary effort.

But I decided instead to pull over a metaphorical chair and just listen to the stories of this guy who didn’t major in English and maybe had a beer or two. I started laughing. Toward the middle I giggled so often my husband demanded to know what Twitter storm I’d discovered. Falcone certainly has a knack for narrative, and his dad gave him plenty of material, as these excerpts illustrate:

“The only bright spot of the entire week was getting to watch my dad attempt to ride a bike. My father is good at many things, but cycling is not one of them. Apparently, growing up in the 1950s in a scrappy part of Philly is not conducive for learning how to ride a bike in a super-mellow fashion. He kept falling off the bicycle, becoming more and more enraged, not at himself for his lack of skill but at the actual bike. After a particularly bad fall, he started yelling, ‘Stupid f@#$ing bike. Stupid island! F*&^ you, Ocracoke!’ Or I might be making that part up. But it’s fun to think he was yelling, ‘F$^% you, Ocracoke!’ Because no offense, Ocracoke—you might be great for some people, but for fifteen-year-old Ben, you were a real s$^%-show. My dad has since sincerely apologized for that trip to Ocracoke …. I forgive him, of course. I mean, at least he can admit that taking advice from a bird-watcher, when you are not a bird-watcher, is not a good policy when it comes to your vacation plans. But how was my dad to know how lame Farley’s taste in vacations was? He didn’t have the Internet at his fingertips to google ‘Best spots to take a wimpy fifteen-year-old on the North Carolina shore.’”

“My older daughter was born a devout Christian. Sometimes she looks out her open window, holding a cross. No s&^%. She stares at the sky, holding her small golden cross. I have to assume she’s praying. So this one morning, my kids were eating their gluten-free pancakes (KA-F*$&ING-BOOM! I am a great dad!) and my then-three-year-old looked up at her mom and said, ‘Boy, God sure did give me an itchy vagina.’ My wife looked away, trying not to laugh as I instantly panicked. But my daughter continued. ‘I mean, man. It’s really itchy.’ I began to focus on astrally projecting myself to anywhere but where I was at that moment…. The tiny blond child took a pause. I praised all that was holy that she was done. But oh no. There was more. ‘Whoooo. It’s just super itchy. So God made me have an itchy vagina.’ My older child, being fully pious, gets very offended by this kind of chatter. She was compelled by the spirit to correct her sister, posthaste. ‘Georgie! God would never give you an itchy vagina. He might kill you, or strike you blind, but he would never give you an itchy vagina.’ My wife, no longer able to keep it in, burst out laughing, as my older daughter demanded to know what was so funny. I began to clear the plates from the table (people may have still been eating but I didn’t care). I just had to get those plates to the sink; that way I could put another four feet of distance between myself and this ‘situation.’”

“Kelly wouldn’t miss a beat, and he would good-naturedly yell, ‘Ben! Get your pop outta the john!’ I’d walk in, past the person invariably at the urinal, kick open the stall door, and find my pop snoozing away. I’d nudge him, and he’d say, ‘What? What’s happening?’ Then he’d see me and say, ‘Hey, buddy,’ as casual and breezy as if we were having a quick beer together (not that I was old enough to drink beer, but you get what I mean). ‘Pop, you’re asleep on the toilet again.’ With that, my dad would look down at himself, smile, and say, ‘So it would seem.’ I’d step out, he’d splash some water on his face or whatever he needed to do to get himself together, and go back out toward the band as if nothing had happened at all.”

“Whatever my dad had done was bad … [so he] got busy. He knew my mom was coming home from work soon, and time was wasting. I was informed that we were having fish for dinner. I was fifteen and am from the Midwest, so I was not exactly thrilled. But I sucked it up because I knew my dad must have really messed up royally if he felt the need to cook an apology fish. Fish is fancy. Fish is for company. And holidays. And clearly, for apologies when Dad really pisses Mom off.”

“Normally my dad drinks white wine (he can just f^&* up a bottle of chardonnay), but the occasion seemed to call for the solemnity of a red. I started to tell my dad a story about my grandma, his mom [who had just died].... Whatever I was telling him must have registered with him in some form or fashion, because he looked at me with a tired, sad look and said, ‘I’d toast you, son, but you have no wine.’ I politely informed him that he had my glass of wine in front of him, as well as his own. Then my brother turned to him and said, ‘You also seem to have my wine, Pop.’”

Problem is, in telling these tales, Falcone proves he can be smart and insightful (e.g., “He taught me to always say what’s on your mind, which is advice I actually never took—my mind is a sea of unsaid thoughts sometimes pried loose with too much coffee or scotch”), as well as convey dry humor in writing (e.g., “I needed an island for uninhibited girls determined to make a man out of husky shy Italian kids. But I got a rainy island full of old bird-watchers. We watched a lot of David Letterman.”). He also occasionally provides real parenting advice (e.g., “My father’s belief, which I have also adopted, is that parents are responsible for attempting to keep their children from the truly big f*&^-ups in life. The smaller stuff is the stuff that kids need to navigate for themselves.”). That left me wishing Falcone and his editors had tightened and gussied things up a lot more, moving the reader from one anecdote to another with less filler and more precision.

As it is, "Being a Dad Is Weird" isn’t terrible. It’s good even. But it could have been great, really great.

[Review first published on Ready Mommy’s Book Reviews.] ...more

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May 14, 2017 Vincent Schaefer rated it really liked it

I won an ARC in a Goodreads giveaway.

A nice, quick read. Funny, touching memories, mostly of Ben and his dad. Some laugh out loud moments. A really heartfelt tribute to his father.

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Jun 12, 2017 Aria rated it really liked it

---- Disclosure: I received this book for free from Goodreads. ----

I quite enjoyed this. It was a light, quick read. It's as much about his being a parent, as it is about his own childhood experiences with family. He seems to have had an interesting family group growing up, and I quite enjoyed reading his telling of that world. What an entertaining group.

The chapters are very short, so if you want something to pick up for short intervals, this will do the trick. I read it straight through in

...more

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Jun 08, 2018 Jacob rated it it was amazing

a review of Ben Falcone's Being a Dad is Weird

What an amazing mirror! Ben Falcone shows us his dad, while mirroring his own quest to be the weird dad for his children. Weird is often good---it is certainly different.
Being raised with a father who swears (been there---"Just hear it, don't say it") and one whom we fear at times but also find hysterical. Laughing, loving and sharing. Ben shares his story of growing up in a house where his mother was the main bread winner for most years of his earl a review of Ben Falcone's Being a Dad is Weird

What an amazing mirror! Ben Falcone shows us his dad, while mirroring his own quest to be the weird dad for his children. Weird is often good---it is certainly different.
Being raised with a father who swears (been there---"Just hear it, don't say it") and one whom we fear at times but also find hysterical. Laughing, loving and sharing. Ben shares his story of growing up in a house where his mother was the main bread winner for most years of his early childhood and where his father was Mister Mom. Then his dad becomes a professor of English at a local community college and his world turns upside down in a good way.
I saw through Ben's eyes reflections of my childhood, and I find that after reading this book, I longed to be the father I never got to be. There are some who may say his parents' methods may not be proper in raising a child (the drinking, swearing etc.) But look how Ben and his brother Flynn turned out. Pretty successful and happy. And Ben makes sure that we understand that beneath the chaotic facade, his dad was a most generous, caring and loving father.
This book is about more than just the father aspect. This is about trust that when advice is given by a parent, it is probably a good idea to follow it. The parent has been there and done that and has much more wisdom than for which we give credit. It is also about letting the children be responsible for their own growing up. Letting them make their own mistakes and learning from them. Sometimes parents need to be in the background, and only come forward in the most expansive crises. I grew up in a similar household and during a time when, as Ben alludes to, we played outside till dark, went to the park by ourselves at five years old, and at times seemed to be raising ourselves. But Ben makes it clear. His folks were always there for him and his brother, just as he plans on always being there for his daughters.
There is much humor in this book but it is not forced. He is not trying to be funny, he just is. The natural humor shines through. And most of us can relate to parts of or most of this book. He also talks about a Catholic priest who was very competitive when it came to playing sports. Beware of priests when it comes to basketball or as I found out years ago, tennis. I played tennis with my own "Father Carl." If I was not careful and did not play my best, my own Father Carl would wipe the court with me and then say, "Bless you, son."
In this book we get an intimate look into the life of a producer, director, actor and just plain funny guy. But what I like most about Ben's writing is that he deflects most of the praise and attention to his father. He alludes to things he has picked up along the way that help him raise his own children. But he gives the main credit to his parents. And the love he feels for both are reflected strongly in this very engaging story. I wouldn't be at all surprised if many years down the road, one of Ben's daughters might end up writing a very similar book about her father.
This is a quick but very poignant read. I found I did not want to put it down until I reached the end, and even then, I wanted more pages.

jacob erin-cilberto (author of Rewrites and Second Chances)
...more

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Jul 29, 2017 Mediaman rated it did not like it

Shelves: memoir

Shocked to see that a guy with no qualifications or parenting skills is given a book contract to write about the subject of being a dad. Falcone probably is trying to be funny in the book but fails miserably, and it's so full of obscene language that it's difficult to read.

The book is really about Falcone'e memories of his own father and the biggest problem is that Ben holds his own dad up as the example of a great father, but the guy sounds horrible. Falcone's dad allowed them to swear freely, Shocked to see that a guy with no qualifications or parenting skills is given a book contract to write about the subject of being a dad. Falcone probably is trying to be funny in the book but fails miserably, and it's so full of obscene language that it's difficult to read.

The book is really about Falcone'e memories of his own father and the biggest problem is that Ben holds his own dad up as the example of a great father, but the guy sounds horrible. Falcone's dad allowed them to swear freely, underage drink, be around drugs, lie, and be offensive to anyone they didn't agree with. Namely, obnoxious, completely thoughtless and immoral. There is no spiritual foundation from the family even though they live across from church, and instead the family would host parties once or twice a week so it appears the parents didn't teach the kids anything beyond "drinking and swearing with friends is fun." While it's nice that a son has warm memories of his dad, you quickly realize that Ben married a woman who matches his father in terms of being an offensive slob (even if just in her performances).

Worst is the attempts at being politically correct. The author makes sure to let you know how anti-Republican he is. And how offended he is that anyone would be anti-special gay rights. The irony is that in the gay chapter (which some in the gay community should find offensive since Falcone seems to demean his own sexual questioning) he says "who cares" how others "live their lives?" calling those that don't agree with the outward homosexual lifestyle "big dumb dummies." But just a few pages earlier he talks about the family devastation from a kid at school that told him that Santa wasn't real, condemning the boy for living his life in a way that told school friends the truth. He can't have it both ways--the fact is that the way others behave, talk, and act will have an impact on us and as a parent he should care what other people say to his kids. It's totally acceptable for people to raise their children in a way consistent with their beliefs, and as parents you have to choose carefully who you allow your kids to be around. That lesson seems to be lost on the author, mostly because he had a dad whose life was pretty much "anything goes" (except for the truth about Santa not being real, which was very troubling in their household!).

Falcone comes across as an insecure, neurotic hypochondriac. Judging from that, his overly confident "be happy all the time" father failed in the raising of his son. Wish the writer would have taken the time to step back and realize all his negative quirks and insecurities come from a parent who failed to have proper boundaries. Hopefully Ben will learn to do better with his own kids because based on what's written here he is giving some very bad parenting advice. ...more

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Jul 29, 2017 Heather rated it really liked it

Shelves: humorous, nonfiction, biography, goodreads, memoir

This review is the for the uncorrected proof (ARC) of the book.

I have mixed feelings about this book. First, I am not a man nor a parent, so I expect that I can't identify with those aspects. Second, for most of the book I was going to rate it a 3 star, but then the end of the book just Zapped Me!, so 4 stars. The writing is definitely better at the end. I attribute this to the fact that more emotion is involved.

This is a great tribute to Falone's dad. I love that he wanted to honor his dad th This review is the for the uncorrected proof (ARC) of the book.

I have mixed feelings about this book. First, I am not a man nor a parent, so I expect that I can't identify with those aspects. Second, for most of the book I was going to rate it a 3 star, but then the end of the book just Zapped Me!, so 4 stars. The writing is definitely better at the end. I attribute this to the fact that more emotion is involved.

This is a great tribute to Falone's dad. I love that he wanted to honor his dad this way. He uses cute and funny stories about his dad to explain why he is the kind of father he is. I think that is nice. The "Road Warrior" car stories were among my favorite.

The vignettes often reminded me of "The Goldbergs", which I love. One story in particular would make a great sitcom episode: "The Apology Fish". I could see that one in my mind, and I laughed.

I loved reading about his relationship with Melissa McCarthy (because I adore her) and their two daughters. The chapter "Find a Good Lady" was one of my favorites!

I did not like all the references to gluten-free pancakes! Ugh. You give your kids bagels but also gluten-free pancakes? Huh? Why did he make such a big deal about that?! I don't consider that good parenting unless there is a gluten-sensitive parent or child involved, which was not mentioned. Personally, I'm fine with you giving your kids whatever you like, but I'd leave that part out of the book.

Falcone is 12 days older than I, so I enjoyed the 80s perspectives. I don't have much in common with him other than that...oh, and that he and I both had an uncle who tried to disappear and leave our families! My dad hired a P.I. to find my uncle, just as Falcone's did. How weird is that. Neither wanted to be found. My uncle was found a couple of times and is now deceased but was returned to my family and buried locally. I hope the Falcones are at peace with their missing relative.

All in all, I enjoyed this book. The beginning is rough, but it gets much better as you read. ...more

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May 28, 2017 Tom Donaghey rated it really liked it

Shelves: biography, humour

BEING A DAD IS WEIRD by Ben Falcone has the misfortune of being read by me shortly after I finished reading a top selling Italian book on this very subject. That book was SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND KISSES FOR BREAKFAST. But BEING A DAD... differs from that first book in that this is more the story of a son looking back at his relationship with his parents, especially his dad, and reevaluating it from the perspective of being a father himself.
Mr. Falcone takes us back to his youth in Carbondale, Illi ...more

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Apr 22, 2018 Rob Olson rated it really liked it

I picked this up at a used bookstore on a whim. I had no idea who Ben Falcone is but I recently became a father and the title of the book grabbed me so I decided to try it. It didn't look like the standard parenting book so I was hopeful.

The amount of information conveyed by the book is very low but it is only 216 pages so that is part of it. I like how the book is setup in extremely short chapters because I could read a whole chapter every time I picked it up, even if I did only read 3 pages.

Th ...more

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Dec 02, 2018 Allison Vaughn rated it it was amazing

I absolutely loved reading this book! Ben Falcone writes much how his father speaks, with wit and charm that is undeniable—he just might not be as loud as Steve. Any casual reader could enjoy his tales of childhood and his own parenting experience, but as someone who grew up through the same decades just a few miles down the road, I felt right at home with his family’s stories.

If you ever read your reviews, Ben, know that I believe you captured your father perfectly! He was my absolute favorite ...more

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May 18, 2017 Merry Miller moon rated it it was amazing

Thanks to Goodreads for the free ARC of this book. I apologize, I didn't even know who Ben Falcone was before reading this book. He is a writer, director and comedian who is married to Melissa McCarthy. This book was hilarious. I love the cover photo of a young Ben and his father. He reflects upon his own childhood to provide some much needed advice for parents. Please note that there is language in this book and it is not for the faint of heart. See the chapter in which he describes his father' ...more

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Sep 23, 2017 Melissa Lee-Tammeus rated it liked it

Shelves: borrowed

A cute little book that takes a walk down memory lane of actor and director Ben Falcone - many may know him as Mr. Melissa McCarthy. From the writings, it appears as if Mr. Falcone had a pretty sweet suburban Midwest childhood and since I did too, it was fun to walk with him. The book is made up of short chapters that focus mostly on his Dad and family growing up and how, now looking back as a Dad himself, he can appreciate his parents and brother and what being a family and dad means for him to ...more

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May 02, 2019 Cyndi rated it it was amazing

Shelves: humor, memoir

I thought this book would be more about Ben Falcone's daughters, and there are a few stories in there, but it is mostly about Ben's childhood. His daughters are still pretty young and I hope he writes about them someday (with their permission), because living in that household, there has to be some funny stuff that happens. They also don't seem to be the typical Hollywood type of people and probably are pretty nice to just talk to and not all self-absorbed, time will tell.

I liked the writing st ...more

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Jun 17, 2017 Cat rated it it was amazing

Shelves: giveaways

I won an advance copy in a Goodreads giveaway, and I have not let this affect my review.

This book was hilarious. It's a collection of short chapters about his childhood and his fatherhood--experiencing the parent-child relationship from both sides. I enjoyed the fun stories (my favorites are "ripping off the Band-Aid" and the breakfast conversation that freaked him out). This is a light read, great for summer. I just wish I'd seen more about his wife Melissa McCarthy--I know his theme for this b ...more

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Jun 26, 2017 Zemmiphobe rated it liked it

This book is funny, but I think the title is a little bit misleading. I was expecting a story about being a father. Like funny anecdotes about how kids are weird and therefore the experience of being a parent can be quite weird too. Instead, however, it was a blog style autobiography of sorts with a special focus on memories of his father.

The book is sort of organized in a series of lessons, though I am not so sure all of these stories quite manage to portray these lessons. They were amusing som ...more

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