What do you think?
Rate this book
Holy Desperation: Praying as If Your Life Depends on It
2018 Association of Catholic Publishers, BOOK OF THE YEAR
2018 Association of Catholic Publishers, 1st Place; Inspirational
2018 Catholic Press Association, 3rd Prayer, Books about Prayer
2019 International Book Finalist in the Christianity category
When life has driven you to your knees, the only thing that works is prayer.
Desperation has many the addict who has hit bottom; the laid-off worker struggling to make the next house payment; the person who seems to have it all together but is wracked with fear, guilt, anger, or shame. We know we need help, but we are afraid to let anyone--especially God--see how broken we truly are.
In Holy Desperation , Heather King demonstrates that, when we're desperate, it's precisely the right time to cry out to God. King, a survivor of addiction and other forms of desperation, begins with the basics of how to pray when you're uncertain that God exists or when you feel that you're beyond God's reach. She challenges the assumptions that only the saintly can pray and that prayer ought to be tidy and nice. She reveals how prayer leads us beyond ourselves and into a life of purpose, lived for the good of others.
Ultimately, Holy Desperation is an invitation to engage in bold, come-exactly-as-you-are prayer, offering a way forward, upward, and outward for anyone desperate enough to cry out for God's help and presence. You are not alone.
2018 Association of Catholic Publishers, 1st Place; Inspirational
2018 Catholic Press Association, 3rd Prayer, Books about Prayer
2019 International Book Finalist in the Christianity category
When life has driven you to your knees, the only thing that works is prayer.
Desperation has many the addict who has hit bottom; the laid-off worker struggling to make the next house payment; the person who seems to have it all together but is wracked with fear, guilt, anger, or shame. We know we need help, but we are afraid to let anyone--especially God--see how broken we truly are.
In Holy Desperation , Heather King demonstrates that, when we're desperate, it's precisely the right time to cry out to God. King, a survivor of addiction and other forms of desperation, begins with the basics of how to pray when you're uncertain that God exists or when you feel that you're beyond God's reach. She challenges the assumptions that only the saintly can pray and that prayer ought to be tidy and nice. She reveals how prayer leads us beyond ourselves and into a life of purpose, lived for the good of others.
Ultimately, Holy Desperation is an invitation to engage in bold, come-exactly-as-you-are prayer, offering a way forward, upward, and outward for anyone desperate enough to cry out for God's help and presence. You are not alone.
- GenresNonfictionCatholic
224 pages, Paperback
Published April 1, 2017
About the author
Heather King
13 books77 followersHeather King is an essayist, memoirist, and blogger. Raised on the coast of New Hampshire, she struggled with alcoholism for many years, got sober in 1987, and converted to Catholicism in 1996.
She is the author of nine books of essay and memoir, and has recorded over 30 slice-of-life commentaries for National Public Radio's "All Things Considered."
She also speaks nationwide, writes a weekly arts and culture column for “Angelus,” the archdiocesan newspaper of LA, and a monthly column on unsung saints for “Magnificat” magazine.
Her work, which she roughly defines as "the tragicomedy of the cross," ranges in subject from addiction to vocational crises, conversion, food, money, cancer, unrequited love, prayer and healing from abortion.
She lives in Pasadena, CA. For more info and her blog, visit Heather King: Mystery, Smarts, Laughs.
She is the author of nine books of essay and memoir, and has recorded over 30 slice-of-life commentaries for National Public Radio's "All Things Considered."
She also speaks nationwide, writes a weekly arts and culture column for “Angelus,” the archdiocesan newspaper of LA, and a monthly column on unsung saints for “Magnificat” magazine.
Her work, which she roughly defines as "the tragicomedy of the cross," ranges in subject from addiction to vocational crises, conversion, food, money, cancer, unrequited love, prayer and healing from abortion.
She lives in Pasadena, CA. For more info and her blog, visit Heather King: Mystery, Smarts, Laughs.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
October 14, 2024
This book is so painfully about The Edge.
You know that razor-Sharp plateau upon so many abjectly fallen rock stars once proudly perched? A bit too sharp for the rest of us. But never in fact overmuch for Heather. She’s got her own Rock suspending her.
It’s our ONLY way to rid ourselves from the mean ‘n grasping Swamp People - we’ve gotta climb HIGH and Stay There!
I first ran into Heather’s humble, and story-filled tales on the Catholic TV App. That’s sort of a congregational magnet for us Edgy Catholics. It doesn’t smother you with sweet talk, only the straight goods.
The Edge is good for the soul.
Heather, a successful LA lawyer, bottomed out with drink. She then found her crutch in the cross - and slowly normalized herself - on the very Edge of life.
Gaston Bachelard, famed writer of The Poetics of Space, used to spend his long daylight hours on irreducible mathematical and scientific conundrums, and let the air out of his high-stress hot-air balloon in the evenings - with long poetic rêveries.
Similarly, the Indian mystic Jiddu Krishnamurti would take endless daytime walks over rugged natural terrain - only remaining sensitively wide awake to every nuance of both passing scenery and passersby (and never for an instant labelling or judging!).
His reward was in lucidly kaleidoscopic meditation. And his dreams were in Surroundsound Technicolor!
That awakeness is at the root of Edginess.
And Heather, having spent half a lifetime at the bottom of a bottle, now lives far BEYOND it. Hers is a committed life now of evangelistic witness and selfless service. But the edge MOTIVATES her to do what she does:
L.A. psych wards, homeless shelters - you name it. No longer a Talker, she's now a Doer.
And like Bachelard and Krishnamurti, she has her release valve.
It’s called writing.
For my wonderful friend Larry (not his real name) it was application to his work and helping his AA buddies. Larry worked for me in the last twenty years of my career, and no clerk worked harder. He put me to shame too. No rest for the Wicked (or in Larry’s case, the dry)!
There is something about all edgy people that throws us off balance and gets us more serious in life.
And Heather’s like that, 300 percent.
If you read this -
Take it from me -
It’ll Get You Off your Duff:
But PRONTO.
You know that razor-Sharp plateau upon so many abjectly fallen rock stars once proudly perched? A bit too sharp for the rest of us. But never in fact overmuch for Heather. She’s got her own Rock suspending her.
It’s our ONLY way to rid ourselves from the mean ‘n grasping Swamp People - we’ve gotta climb HIGH and Stay There!
I first ran into Heather’s humble, and story-filled tales on the Catholic TV App. That’s sort of a congregational magnet for us Edgy Catholics. It doesn’t smother you with sweet talk, only the straight goods.
The Edge is good for the soul.
Heather, a successful LA lawyer, bottomed out with drink. She then found her crutch in the cross - and slowly normalized herself - on the very Edge of life.
Gaston Bachelard, famed writer of The Poetics of Space, used to spend his long daylight hours on irreducible mathematical and scientific conundrums, and let the air out of his high-stress hot-air balloon in the evenings - with long poetic rêveries.
Similarly, the Indian mystic Jiddu Krishnamurti would take endless daytime walks over rugged natural terrain - only remaining sensitively wide awake to every nuance of both passing scenery and passersby (and never for an instant labelling or judging!).
His reward was in lucidly kaleidoscopic meditation. And his dreams were in Surroundsound Technicolor!
That awakeness is at the root of Edginess.
And Heather, having spent half a lifetime at the bottom of a bottle, now lives far BEYOND it. Hers is a committed life now of evangelistic witness and selfless service. But the edge MOTIVATES her to do what she does:
L.A. psych wards, homeless shelters - you name it. No longer a Talker, she's now a Doer.
And like Bachelard and Krishnamurti, she has her release valve.
It’s called writing.
For my wonderful friend Larry (not his real name) it was application to his work and helping his AA buddies. Larry worked for me in the last twenty years of my career, and no clerk worked harder. He put me to shame too. No rest for the Wicked (or in Larry’s case, the dry)!
There is something about all edgy people that throws us off balance and gets us more serious in life.
And Heather’s like that, 300 percent.
If you read this -
Take it from me -
It’ll Get You Off your Duff:
But PRONTO.
April 26, 2021
An interesting mixture of recovery & conversion to Catholicism. Wonders a lot!
November 17, 2017
The title of this book ‘Holy Desperation’, grab my attention immediately. Also the subtitle of the book ‘Praying as If Your Life Depends on It’ spoke to me. There have been times where all that has kept me going is prayer; even times when my faith was a struggle, prayer got me through some really tough times. So I dove in with great anticipation. But the book was not quite what I expected. But the book was not as what I expected it to be. The book was far more autobiography, and about service, reaching out and going beyond your comfort zone than it was a guide to praying especially in hard times. Now don’t get me wrong there was a lot about praying. And specifically praying when you don’t think you should, or don’t feel you should.
The chapters in this book are:
About Fr. Damien
Part One Crisis.
1 The Prayer of Desperation
2 Grabbed by the Throat
3 What Do We Mean by God?
4 The Set-Aside Prayer
Part Two Death: To Our Old Ideas and Supposed Unlovability
5 “Stay Awake!”.
6 Where Two or More Are Gathered in My Name
7 I Call You Friends .
8 Go to Your Room and Pray in Secret
9 Let Him Who Is without Sin Cast the First Stone .
Part Three Resurrection: Getting Radically in on New Life
10 You Cannot Serve Both God and Mammon
11 Tempted in the Desert
12 Store Up Your Treasure in Heaven.
13 Unless a Grain of Wheat Fall to the Ground
Endnotes
About the Author
The author writes from personal experience. And it is experience that is very different than the road most of us will walk. But heathers vulnerability, openness, and transparency about her own struggles and the way her own prayer life has changed and progresses serve as an example to us all. It serves as an example of not just wanting prayer in our life, but about walking the walking. Growing prayer as part of our life, day in and day out. About waling prayer.
This was my introduction to the writings of Heather King. But it will not be the last. The writing style is very engaging. It is easily accessible. I really enjoyed this book and immediately though of a few friends who would enjoy it and a few others who would really benefit from reading it. So sometimes when you get what you are not expecting it is exactly what you need, and that is how I feel about this book!
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
The chapters in this book are:
About Fr. Damien
Part One Crisis.
1 The Prayer of Desperation
2 Grabbed by the Throat
3 What Do We Mean by God?
4 The Set-Aside Prayer
Part Two Death: To Our Old Ideas and Supposed Unlovability
5 “Stay Awake!”.
6 Where Two or More Are Gathered in My Name
7 I Call You Friends .
8 Go to Your Room and Pray in Secret
9 Let Him Who Is without Sin Cast the First Stone .
Part Three Resurrection: Getting Radically in on New Life
10 You Cannot Serve Both God and Mammon
11 Tempted in the Desert
12 Store Up Your Treasure in Heaven.
13 Unless a Grain of Wheat Fall to the Ground
Endnotes
About the Author
The author writes from personal experience. And it is experience that is very different than the road most of us will walk. But heathers vulnerability, openness, and transparency about her own struggles and the way her own prayer life has changed and progresses serve as an example to us all. It serves as an example of not just wanting prayer in our life, but about walking the walking. Growing prayer as part of our life, day in and day out. About waling prayer.
This was my introduction to the writings of Heather King. But it will not be the last. The writing style is very engaging. It is easily accessible. I really enjoyed this book and immediately though of a few friends who would enjoy it and a few others who would really benefit from reading it. So sometimes when you get what you are not expecting it is exactly what you need, and that is how I feel about this book!
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
October 30, 2017
I loved this book and it really resonated with me. Just what I needed to read at this moment.
March 6, 2023
The first thing you will notice when reading this book is how many times Flannery O’Connor is mentioned. The author, Heather King, is evidently a language and literature connoisseur, especially seen with the amount of stories and quotes she mentions. However, there’s nothing wrong with it. She uses what she has heard to write to her audience, in desperate hope that they will at least grasp on to one thing she says, deriving ideas from different people that all center around a Catholic message. At first, this style is hard to read through, especially since within chapters there are subsections, where her writing veers specifically into the subsection. In fact, this book is not written in a central plotline type of way. I would describe it as a collection of Frequently Unasked Questions (that need answering). I do think that this is a flaw of the book to an extent, in that it is hard to remember all of the ideas that were said and how to go through with them, but it really is clear to the reader what Heather King wants to say: pray, even if you have doubt or guilt, pray.
Her message is straightforward and blunt, cutting to the chase. It does not rely on the reader interpreting it on an allegorical level, and this is why I appreciate the format she used. Instead of attempting to create characters that could convey a message of God, she chose to directly write from her own experience, authentically giving herself in the writing, and you can tell. Her realizations come within the book at the right time thematically, especially since the beginning starts with what she calls her “desperation prayer,” from when she was an alcoholic, and the end ends with her having a similar moment, praying in the chapel near where she lives. I would also like to mention that her observance of the Gospels contributes to her zeal for Jesus, who she thinks portrays the most countercultural message we can find: acceptance. Overall, I’d give this book a 4/5 stars because her writing is messy, but it greatly gets the point across. In fact, if you walk away from reading this book not thinking about how it applies to your own life, I would be deeply surprised. Her own insights, as well as observations from crucial people in her life like Fr. Damien, are meant to make the reader think about what their own life is like. It's meant for them to question the microaggressions they exhibit. It’s meant for them to wonder how to apply prayer to their own life even when they are suffering. While the book is messy, Heather King says life is too, and start clinging to God no matter what so you are able to find peace.
Her message is straightforward and blunt, cutting to the chase. It does not rely on the reader interpreting it on an allegorical level, and this is why I appreciate the format she used. Instead of attempting to create characters that could convey a message of God, she chose to directly write from her own experience, authentically giving herself in the writing, and you can tell. Her realizations come within the book at the right time thematically, especially since the beginning starts with what she calls her “desperation prayer,” from when she was an alcoholic, and the end ends with her having a similar moment, praying in the chapel near where she lives. I would also like to mention that her observance of the Gospels contributes to her zeal for Jesus, who she thinks portrays the most countercultural message we can find: acceptance. Overall, I’d give this book a 4/5 stars because her writing is messy, but it greatly gets the point across. In fact, if you walk away from reading this book not thinking about how it applies to your own life, I would be deeply surprised. Her own insights, as well as observations from crucial people in her life like Fr. Damien, are meant to make the reader think about what their own life is like. It's meant for them to question the microaggressions they exhibit. It’s meant for them to wonder how to apply prayer to their own life even when they are suffering. While the book is messy, Heather King says life is too, and start clinging to God no matter what so you are able to find peace.
August 11, 2018
This is not one of those highly philosophical books where the author shows off their comprehensive theological perspective on prayer. It is a book by someone like you and me sinning, suffering and praying for help. It starts off with a gritty declaration that prayer is for those of us in need of Gods help just as much, if not more, than those saintly book writes who would hold us at arm's length because we are not perfect human beings.
After the introduction the book breaks down into chapters based on different types of prayerful practice, giving the authors honest report of trying them out and detailing what worked for her and what didn’t. If something doesn’t quite fit the author reveal how she modifies the practice to suit her personal situation.
This is a totally warts and all, realistic, biographical presentation of an actual living human struggling in the world and reaching out to know and understand and form a relationship with God.
The books takes a little while to get to the core of things and I found that a little tedious, perhaps I am impatient. But once it got on track I found it entirely engaging and inspiring. As a recovering alcoholic the author really knows how bad things can be. She is honest in her descriptions of her addiction and pulls no punches in that, but shows how this gives her a deep insight and compassion for others who are suffering in life.
This is not a new age make it up as you go book on prayer. But equally it is not the pray like I say or God will look the other way kind of book either. The real thesis of the book is in the opening, we are the children of the Lord, when we cry out he will not ignore us, no matter what mess we have got ourselves in, nor how inappropriate our cries.
I give this book five stars because it is real and honest, I might not agree with all of it and I think it could be edited to be easier to read, BUT it is real and based on bitter experience by someone who has developed more understanding and compassion than I can muster. This book lifted me up spiritually.
After the introduction the book breaks down into chapters based on different types of prayerful practice, giving the authors honest report of trying them out and detailing what worked for her and what didn’t. If something doesn’t quite fit the author reveal how she modifies the practice to suit her personal situation.
This is a totally warts and all, realistic, biographical presentation of an actual living human struggling in the world and reaching out to know and understand and form a relationship with God.
The books takes a little while to get to the core of things and I found that a little tedious, perhaps I am impatient. But once it got on track I found it entirely engaging and inspiring. As a recovering alcoholic the author really knows how bad things can be. She is honest in her descriptions of her addiction and pulls no punches in that, but shows how this gives her a deep insight and compassion for others who are suffering in life.
This is not a new age make it up as you go book on prayer. But equally it is not the pray like I say or God will look the other way kind of book either. The real thesis of the book is in the opening, we are the children of the Lord, when we cry out he will not ignore us, no matter what mess we have got ourselves in, nor how inappropriate our cries.
I give this book five stars because it is real and honest, I might not agree with all of it and I think it could be edited to be easier to read, BUT it is real and based on bitter experience by someone who has developed more understanding and compassion than I can muster. This book lifted me up spiritually.
January 30, 2018
I wanted so badly to love this book but I really did not enjoy it at all. I found her use of quotations really choppy and off-putting; I didn’t understand the point of most of them. She quoted Fr. Damien often, but I couldn’t follow his thoughts and she never expanded upon them at all. I felt like every paragraph was a non-sequitur. Maybe there’s just something I didn’t grasp but I just didn’t understand the point she was trying to make - I couldn’t tell you WHY she wrote the book or what she was ultimately trying to say.
September 3, 2018
Most books on prayer tell you how to pray. This book does that also but goes beyond to tell you why you pray. That's it real value. Don't wait until next Lent to read this book. Heather King gives the reader a ton of insights. If you cannot make a retreat this year and need some spiritual direction,open up tis book and start reading.
September 4, 2019
Hey only book I've started and finished in Japan! A dramatic title for a meandering but powerful read.
Basically King says: Just be there for people. All people. Unpleasant people. Even your unpleasant self. Life is suffering and life is beautiful, and they often go hand in hand.
I'd read her grocery list if she let me, so thanks for another good one, great lady.
Basically King says: Just be there for people. All people. Unpleasant people. Even your unpleasant self. Life is suffering and life is beautiful, and they often go hand in hand.
I'd read her grocery list if she let me, so thanks for another good one, great lady.
September 16, 2024
I highly recommend this books to all Christians who are serious about prayer. Prayer that leads to action in this broken world that Christ gave His life for. The content will resonate in the soul that truly counts the cost and goes on anyway out of love for Him and the love for others God will give to them. Yes, even those the world deems unloveable.
January 6, 2018
Limiting my love and appreciation for this book to a few words will diminish what it meant to me to read it. It was just what I needed. Thank you, Heather King, for sharing yourself with strangers.
May 4, 2022
A beautiful, funny, and often tragic book on prayer. I love how personal and relatable Heather King made her story. I felt like I was there living her life with her. Thank you for your beautiful writing, Ms. King. This will definitely help my own Catholic spirituality and prayer life.
September 22, 2019
Just plain good. Enrich my prayer life. A great spiritual read.
July 2, 2020
The book probably resonates more with someone who has gone to AA and found it to be a life changing experience. Without that background it didn't really speak to me.
November 30, 2023
This was a hard book to push through and I really wanted to like it, but the author missed the target.
There were some really good parts, unfortunately most of it was rambling.
There were some really good parts, unfortunately most of it was rambling.
November 11, 2017
I love King's writing. It's so raw and honest and true.
August 1, 2024
Amazing read!!!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews