Beyond Blame: A New Way of Resolving Conflicts in Relationships

by Jeffrey A. Kottler

Focuses on the only party in a conflict that we have any control ourselves Conflict is an interactive process--you cannot look at a person who makes life difficult for you without also looking at yourself. While blaming others may lead to short-term relief, it often escalates conflicts and produces long-term damage. And with conflict we must first understand the problem and then take responsibility by changing our own roles. Beyond Blame presents specific advice on conflicts in love, conflicts at work, and what to do when conflicts cannot be resolved.

235 pages, Paperback

First published March 18, 1994

About the author

Jeffrey A. Kottler is a professor, psychologist, author, consultant, workshop leader, keynote speaker, and social justice advocate who has spent the past 40 years working throughout the world to promote personal and professional development among professionals and marginalized groups. Jeffrey has worked as a teacher, counselor, therapist, and consultant in a variety of settings including a preschool, primary and secondary school, university, mental health center, crisis center, and corporate settings.

Reviews

[Chris]

Very good book. I really enjoyed the examples of conversations gone bad along with alternatives of how things could have been more thoroughly communicated in a healthy and effective manner which helps both parties to grow and understand in a mature and fulfilling way.

[Bowen Ben]

Not a lot of new information that I wasn’t already aware of. This is an older book and has roots with CBT interventions with some psychoanalytic drips thrown in the mix. I suggest also reading Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson if anyone is interested in the love aspect of what this book covered with conflict in various aspects that appear in our lives.

[Elizabeth]

As seen in FYI: For Your Improvement.