First published in 1984. This book was written in order to share the authors' experience as family therapists not only with professionals but with families. We live in an age of anxiety, fear of violence and questioning of fundamental values. Confidence in traditional values is being challenged. Waves of prejudice seem to endanger our trust in one another and our loyalty to society. The strength of family relations or their effect on individuals is extremely difficult to measure. The authors of this book believe that observable changes in the family do not necessarily alter the member to- member impact of family relationships. Invisible loyalty commitments to one's family follow paradoxical laws: The martyr who doesn't let other family members work off their guilt is a far more powerfully controlling force than the loud, demanding bully. The manifestly rebellious or delinquent child may actually be the most loyal member of a family.
This book was copyrighted in 1973, officially making it older than me. For some reason, I bought this book during my graduate studies, though it was not assigned. First, the co-author Geraldine M. Spark. I have not been able to find out what has happened to her in the years since the book has been published. I hope, at the time of this writing, she is still among us. If she is, she does not have a soical media presense that I can find. So, what happened to Geraldine? Inquiring minds want to know. The theroires contained in this book were taught in my graduate studies program. The cover shows a web and posits that everyone has loyalties that are old, invisible, and probably were set in motion before one was born. It is a way to view relationships and why people are acting the way they do. This book is written in an academic style that is hard to read, hard to digest, and has some gems about human behavior along the way. This is for someone who has read "I and Thou" by Martain Buber, as well as has some familiarity the Marriage and Family Therapy professions. If one has no interest in those topics, then this one should be skipped.
Lealdades Invisíveis é um manual para a compreensão das relações familiares. O livro abre as portas para um entendimento mais íntimo das leis que regulamentam as interações e dinâmicas da família. O autor fornece meios para confrontar desequilíbrios emocionais e questionar mais intimamente possíveis pontos de equilíbrio. A lógica racional costuma levar a um certo descontrole e para entender melhor as armadilhas desse drama e teoria dialética, Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy convida o leitor a comungar com a impotência de sua psique. O livro no entanto é mais do que um estudo sobre nossas incapacidades de separar emoções "devidas" ao seio familiar, é quase um guia de respostas ao que nos parece incompreensível e coloca os leitores na condição de aprendizes ao despenhar doses necessárias, por vezes até cruéis, de humildade sem tirar a força que vence prepotências e a comum arrogância do ser humano.
What must have been ground breaking and original in the 1970s still remains so. But the book feels somewhat not fully thought through, not really brought to completion. My understanding is that the themes of loyalty and obligation have not been that developed in family therapy.