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Trans Voices: Becoming Who You Are
Imagine what it must be like to feel you are a woman 'trapped' in a man's body. Or a man 'trapped' in a woman's body. And what happens if you decide to reject your birth gender and become a trans man or a trans woman?
Drawing on over one hundred interviews with individuals, this book is a compilation of the voices of those who have decided to undergo transition - both male-to-female and female-to-male. The book details the diverse experiences and challenges faced by those who transition, exploring a range of topics such as hormone treatments; reassignment surgeries; coming out; sex and sexuality; physical, emotional and mental health; transphobia; discrimination; and hate crime, as well as highlighting the lives of non-binary individuals and those who cross-dress to form a wider understanding of the varied ways in which people experience gender.
This powerful book is an ideal introduction to those keen to understand more about contemporary trans issues as well as those questioning their own gender identity.
Drawing on over one hundred interviews with individuals, this book is a compilation of the voices of those who have decided to undergo transition - both male-to-female and female-to-male. The book details the diverse experiences and challenges faced by those who transition, exploring a range of topics such as hormone treatments; reassignment surgeries; coming out; sex and sexuality; physical, emotional and mental health; transphobia; discrimination; and hate crime, as well as highlighting the lives of non-binary individuals and those who cross-dress to form a wider understanding of the varied ways in which people experience gender.
This powerful book is an ideal introduction to those keen to understand more about contemporary trans issues as well as those questioning their own gender identity.
188 pages, Paperback
First published January 19, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
July 24, 2020
N.B.: I read and reviewed this book when I thought I was a cisgender man. I have since come out as transgender myself. This has only redoubled my opinion that this book is an appropriation of trans voices.
I might need to stop requesting non-fiction books from NetGalley, because it seems like I haven’t been very successful with them. In this case I don’t know if I just didn’t read the description properly or didn’t understand it, but I thought Trans Voices: Becoming Who You Are was by a trans author and comprised longer-form interviews with transgender people. Instead, this inaccurately titled book is by a cisgender gay man who intersperses his medicalized, somewhat discomforting commentary with cherry-picked excerpts from interviews he conducted with trans people. (Also, the description itself is terrible and even worse than the book is.)
Trigger warning for possibly transphobic, medicalized language quoted in this review.
The structure of this book is great; Declan Henry doesn’t just address binary transgender people but specifically devotes a chapter to nonbinary people as well. He highlights issues of discrimination against transgender people, both overt—anything from slurs to physical and emotional violence—and more subtle—such as the way many countries do not fund/subsidize hormone treatments and gender reassignment surgery. And throughout the book, Henry makes it clear that the trans community is not monolithic:
So, basically Henry is saying that different people prefer different labels; different people have differing opinions on how they want to perform their gender and how or whether they want to make a physical transition. This is all well and good, and it is a promising beginning to the book. I don’t have much doubt that Henry’s intentions are good here, that he just wants to share trans perspectives with others. But I don’t review a book on intentions. I review a book based on what I read and how it makes me feel, and Trans Voices made me (a cisgender man, for what it’s worth) very uncomfortable with Henry’s appropriation of trans voices.
I call it appropriation because instead of letting transgender people tell their story, he embeds quotations from interviews within a framework of his making. Some of these are mere paragraphs, a little bit of “authentic trans flavour” to whatever he has chosen to say at that point. Admittedly, others are longer (my electronic Kindle copy doesn’t do a great job of differentiating between quoted material and Henry’s words, with multi-paragraph quotes not having a quotation mark at the beginning of each subsequent paragraph like they should, and no other visual indicator) and hint at more developed narratives. Again, however, these “voices” are only used in service to Henry’s thesis, rather than the other way around. Hence, rather than a strong euphony of diverse trans experiences, we get a watered-down, overly academic and medically-fixated look at transgender-related phenomena through the eyes of Declan Henry.
As I mentioned earlier, Henry points out that surgery is not the be-all-end-all goal or metre-stick for understanding transition. Yet he certainly spends a lot of time talking about the details:
or:
These types of sentences are the rule rather than exception. This is what made me so uncomfortable with this book. This language is so clinical; it feels invasive, and it makes me feel like a voyeur. I know we aren’t talking about any one specific person here, and certainly, as a cisgender person, I could benefit to understand the surgeries that trans people might have or the other techniques they use to express their identity. But if I’m going to learn about these things, I’m better off hearing it from an actual trans person who isn’t going to reduce it to a matter of meat.
It’s just so dehumanizing. And in a book proposing to give a voice to trans people, of all things. Remember, Henry is writing this as a gay man who feels that it’s his responsibility to educate people about the misrepresented, unknown trans community. How would he feel if a straight person decided to write a book called Gay Voices like this one, and started talking in clinical detail about how gay men have sexual intercourse? That would be just as inappropriate as this book. (It probably exists, come to think of it.)
Also, what’s up with that cover?! I normally don’t care much about covers, but I don’t know what the artist/marketing people were thinking here. That the person appears androgynous I understand, but monochromatic with that splash of colour? Is that supposed to be symbolic for this book “shedding light” on the hidden stories of trans people? Then that positioning of the title so it covers the person’s mouth, figuratively saying, “Don’t worry, poor trans person! I, Declan Henry, will speak for you and give you a voice!”
I am reminded of the way settlers co-opt and colonize Indigenous issues all the while claiming to give Indigenous people a voice. At the time of writing this review, CanLit is embroiled in something of a controversy over Joseph Boyden. For a while, many Indigenous people have been questioning his claims of Indigenous heritage and pointing out inconsistencies in how he represents himself, and this news is finally bubbling to the surface of the mainstream press and wider Canadian consciousness (including my own). One of the reasons this is so upsetting, as far as I understand it, is because Boyden has been profiting off assuming a role that is not his; at the same time, he provides sanitized picture of Indigenous cultures and issues that cleaves to what settlers would like to see.
Henry would have you believe that transgender people do not have much of a voice, and so it is necessary for outsiders to step into their community, interview them, and talk over them. Henry, unlike Boyden, is at least clear about his identity. But by speaking over trans people, he is erasing them, exactly counter to his stated objective. Trans Voices ignores the fact that trans people already have a voice, have multiple voices, and they have been talking and shouting and making media about their experiences long before this book was a gleam in Henry’s eye.
I think the most dangerous thing about Trans Voices is that, on the surface, it seems so good. Like I said at the top of this review, I didn’t pay enough attention and thought this would be a very different book. I can only imagine that many cis people are going to pick this up, read it, and think they somehow “understand” trans people better now—or worse, they’ll start transplaining to trans people using the medical terminology they’ve gleaned from this. Reading a book about a marginalized community of which you are not a member does not suddenly give you the ability to speak for them, or of them, or about them. By this token, I can’t stand up and yell about how this book should anger trans people—that’s not my call to make. (At least two trans people, judging from the foreword and afterword, liked this book. That is their prerogative.) I’m yelling about how this book angers me and, as a cisgender person, I’m telling my fellow cis people not to read it.
Go read an #ownvoices book instead. By the time you’re reading this I’m going to have read If I Was Your Girl, so check back for my review of that. Also, Here We Are , which is out January 24, features some trans writers as well; I can’t recommend it enough.
I might need to stop requesting non-fiction books from NetGalley, because it seems like I haven’t been very successful with them. In this case I don’t know if I just didn’t read the description properly or didn’t understand it, but I thought Trans Voices: Becoming Who You Are was by a trans author and comprised longer-form interviews with transgender people. Instead, this inaccurately titled book is by a cisgender gay man who intersperses his medicalized, somewhat discomforting commentary with cherry-picked excerpts from interviews he conducted with trans people. (Also, the description itself is terrible and even worse than the book is.)
Trigger warning for possibly transphobic, medicalized language quoted in this review.
The structure of this book is great; Declan Henry doesn’t just address binary transgender people but specifically devotes a chapter to nonbinary people as well. He highlights issues of discrimination against transgender people, both overt—anything from slurs to physical and emotional violence—and more subtle—such as the way many countries do not fund/subsidize hormone treatments and gender reassignment surgery. And throughout the book, Henry makes it clear that the trans community is not monolithic:
There is no single authentic expression of trans identity. Trans people have a wide diversity of appearances, personal characteristics, interests, experiences and viewpoints…. There are many degrees of transition and options available to trans people…. Surgical status is not a reliable indicator as to how a person identifies…. Trans people have many different opinions about terminology, with some preferring medicalised terms and others preferring community terms.
So, basically Henry is saying that different people prefer different labels; different people have differing opinions on how they want to perform their gender and how or whether they want to make a physical transition. This is all well and good, and it is a promising beginning to the book. I don’t have much doubt that Henry’s intentions are good here, that he just wants to share trans perspectives with others. But I don’t review a book on intentions. I review a book based on what I read and how it makes me feel, and Trans Voices made me (a cisgender man, for what it’s worth) very uncomfortable with Henry’s appropriation of trans voices.
I call it appropriation because instead of letting transgender people tell their story, he embeds quotations from interviews within a framework of his making. Some of these are mere paragraphs, a little bit of “authentic trans flavour” to whatever he has chosen to say at that point. Admittedly, others are longer (my electronic Kindle copy doesn’t do a great job of differentiating between quoted material and Henry’s words, with multi-paragraph quotes not having a quotation mark at the beginning of each subsequent paragraph like they should, and no other visual indicator) and hint at more developed narratives. Again, however, these “voices” are only used in service to Henry’s thesis, rather than the other way around. Hence, rather than a strong euphony of diverse trans experiences, we get a watered-down, overly academic and medically-fixated look at transgender-related phenomena through the eyes of Declan Henry.
As I mentioned earlier, Henry points out that surgery is not the be-all-end-all goal or metre-stick for understanding transition. Yet he certainly spends a lot of time talking about the details:
For trans women, the most commonly undergone genital surgery is vaginoplasty…. However there are also other vaginoplasty techniques, using different tissues, and also some trans women may decide to undergo orchidectomy without any vaginoplasty. As previously mentioned, some trans women do not undergo any genital surgery as they feel either it’s not appropriate or necessary for them to express their identity, or they are fearful of surgical experiences, or there are health reasons.
or:
Trans people assigned female at birth may wear chest binders whilst awaiting chest surgery. The binders are sometimes tight and often result in tissue damage, as well as chest infections because they make breathing shallower.
These types of sentences are the rule rather than exception. This is what made me so uncomfortable with this book. This language is so clinical; it feels invasive, and it makes me feel like a voyeur. I know we aren’t talking about any one specific person here, and certainly, as a cisgender person, I could benefit to understand the surgeries that trans people might have or the other techniques they use to express their identity. But if I’m going to learn about these things, I’m better off hearing it from an actual trans person who isn’t going to reduce it to a matter of meat.
It’s just so dehumanizing. And in a book proposing to give a voice to trans people, of all things. Remember, Henry is writing this as a gay man who feels that it’s his responsibility to educate people about the misrepresented, unknown trans community. How would he feel if a straight person decided to write a book called Gay Voices like this one, and started talking in clinical detail about how gay men have sexual intercourse? That would be just as inappropriate as this book. (It probably exists, come to think of it.)
Also, what’s up with that cover?! I normally don’t care much about covers, but I don’t know what the artist/marketing people were thinking here. That the person appears androgynous I understand, but monochromatic with that splash of colour? Is that supposed to be symbolic for this book “shedding light” on the hidden stories of trans people? Then that positioning of the title so it covers the person’s mouth, figuratively saying, “Don’t worry, poor trans person! I, Declan Henry, will speak for you and give you a voice!”
I am reminded of the way settlers co-opt and colonize Indigenous issues all the while claiming to give Indigenous people a voice. At the time of writing this review, CanLit is embroiled in something of a controversy over Joseph Boyden. For a while, many Indigenous people have been questioning his claims of Indigenous heritage and pointing out inconsistencies in how he represents himself, and this news is finally bubbling to the surface of the mainstream press and wider Canadian consciousness (including my own). One of the reasons this is so upsetting, as far as I understand it, is because Boyden has been profiting off assuming a role that is not his; at the same time, he provides sanitized picture of Indigenous cultures and issues that cleaves to what settlers would like to see.
Henry would have you believe that transgender people do not have much of a voice, and so it is necessary for outsiders to step into their community, interview them, and talk over them. Henry, unlike Boyden, is at least clear about his identity. But by speaking over trans people, he is erasing them, exactly counter to his stated objective. Trans Voices ignores the fact that trans people already have a voice, have multiple voices, and they have been talking and shouting and making media about their experiences long before this book was a gleam in Henry’s eye.
I think the most dangerous thing about Trans Voices is that, on the surface, it seems so good. Like I said at the top of this review, I didn’t pay enough attention and thought this would be a very different book. I can only imagine that many cis people are going to pick this up, read it, and think they somehow “understand” trans people better now—or worse, they’ll start transplaining to trans people using the medical terminology they’ve gleaned from this. Reading a book about a marginalized community of which you are not a member does not suddenly give you the ability to speak for them, or of them, or about them. By this token, I can’t stand up and yell about how this book should anger trans people—that’s not my call to make. (At least two trans people, judging from the foreword and afterword, liked this book. That is their prerogative.) I’m yelling about how this book angers me and, as a cisgender person, I’m telling my fellow cis people not to read it.
Go read an #ownvoices book instead. By the time you’re reading this I’m going to have read If I Was Your Girl, so check back for my review of that. Also, Here We Are , which is out January 24, features some trans writers as well; I can’t recommend it enough.
January 7, 2017
I received an eARC of this novel from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
The author of this book is a gay social worker, not a trans person, so I was hesitant, but I gave it a shot because he had worked & interviewed trans people, including those who identify as non-binary.
"I firmly believe that awareness and knowledge break down ignorance and bigotry and can create a world where everybody can get on with their business without interference or prejudice, thus allowing people to become whoever they want to be. Therefore it is the voices in this book that will reach out to you when descriptions of their experiences are conveyed because they are coming from lived lives, rather than from me as a mere spectator. Ultimately, I hope these voices will draw closer to what it is like to be a trans person in today's world."
I had high hopes after that statement, but the inclusion of research "connecting" being trans to being autistic killed this book for me, as someone on the autism spectrum and as a generally informed human being.
The study quoted [found here] is problematic because for a long time, the only reason that people assigned female at birth were taken to be diagnosed because they weren't presenting as ladylike or as pliable as their parents wanted them to be, which plays into gender identity. It gets ignored in so many of us, or it's misdiagnosed. None of that was discussed within any of the study writings linked above, despite that they mentioned that all of this was self-reported. Not to mention, the study was not able to prove its hypothesis, so it shouldn't have been included except as a theory.
Because I know this about this particular study, I don't trust the author to be accurate throughout the rest of the book, and I won't be continuing. If this book had been just the stories from the trans people that the author interviewed, I would have enjoyed it. I'll stick to books by trans people about their own experiences.
The author of this book is a gay social worker, not a trans person, so I was hesitant, but I gave it a shot because he had worked & interviewed trans people, including those who identify as non-binary.
"I firmly believe that awareness and knowledge break down ignorance and bigotry and can create a world where everybody can get on with their business without interference or prejudice, thus allowing people to become whoever they want to be. Therefore it is the voices in this book that will reach out to you when descriptions of their experiences are conveyed because they are coming from lived lives, rather than from me as a mere spectator. Ultimately, I hope these voices will draw closer to what it is like to be a trans person in today's world."
I had high hopes after that statement, but the inclusion of research "connecting" being trans to being autistic killed this book for me, as someone on the autism spectrum and as a generally informed human being.
The study quoted [found here] is problematic because for a long time, the only reason that people assigned female at birth were taken to be diagnosed because they weren't presenting as ladylike or as pliable as their parents wanted them to be, which plays into gender identity. It gets ignored in so many of us, or it's misdiagnosed. None of that was discussed within any of the study writings linked above, despite that they mentioned that all of this was self-reported. Not to mention, the study was not able to prove its hypothesis, so it shouldn't have been included except as a theory.
Because I know this about this particular study, I don't trust the author to be accurate throughout the rest of the book, and I won't be continuing. If this book had been just the stories from the trans people that the author interviewed, I would have enjoyed it. I'll stick to books by trans people about their own experiences.
May 25, 2018
An informative read.
October 7, 2019
If your knowledge on trans topics is nearly non-existent, you'll probably find value in this book, otherwise I think you're much better off picking some youtube channels of trans people like Chase Ross, Chella Man, Jamie Raines, Ash Hardell or Ty Turner, who talk about a variety of trans topics and feature other trans people on their channels.
I shouldn't be surprised and yet I am surprised by this book's language. It was published in 2017 but a lot of the discourse centred around ways of talking that belong to the early 2000s. This may sound like a minor point but it's very relevant because as Henry himself outlines (extremely briefly), trans visibility and language has greatly evolved in the past decade. Interestingly, one of the quotes featured from a trans woman criticised the cis phrase of "trans people are people who are trapped in the wrong body". Henry then followed on to ignore this point and continue to brand trans people as being trapped in the wrong body. Even the synopsis, as pointed out by other reviewers, embraces this term.
I think this is the greatest failure of this book. It's full of Henry using now dated ideologies and outlooks about trans folk, despite the quotes (handpicked, diminished extracts) often saying otherwise.
I personally feel Henry should have firstly asked himself if he was truly the best person to be producing a book about trans identities. If the answer was 'yes', as it may be if you're extremely knowledgeable and have a lot of trans people in your close circle (which Henry admits is not the case for him) then why not let the interviewed trans people speak for themselves? Do you really think trans people can't actually comprehensively voice their experiences for themselves? I greatly enjoyed some of the sections where there were pages of a trans person sharing their experience. I see no problem with allowing them to do so for the entirety of the book.
So in the end, this was a well-structured idea but it fell flat because of its execution.
I shouldn't be surprised and yet I am surprised by this book's language. It was published in 2017 but a lot of the discourse centred around ways of talking that belong to the early 2000s. This may sound like a minor point but it's very relevant because as Henry himself outlines (extremely briefly), trans visibility and language has greatly evolved in the past decade. Interestingly, one of the quotes featured from a trans woman criticised the cis phrase of "trans people are people who are trapped in the wrong body". Henry then followed on to ignore this point and continue to brand trans people as being trapped in the wrong body. Even the synopsis, as pointed out by other reviewers, embraces this term.
I think this is the greatest failure of this book. It's full of Henry using now dated ideologies and outlooks about trans folk, despite the quotes (handpicked, diminished extracts) often saying otherwise.
I personally feel Henry should have firstly asked himself if he was truly the best person to be producing a book about trans identities. If the answer was 'yes', as it may be if you're extremely knowledgeable and have a lot of trans people in your close circle (which Henry admits is not the case for him) then why not let the interviewed trans people speak for themselves? Do you really think trans people can't actually comprehensively voice their experiences for themselves? I greatly enjoyed some of the sections where there were pages of a trans person sharing their experience. I see no problem with allowing them to do so for the entirety of the book.
So in the end, this was a well-structured idea but it fell flat because of its execution.
February 1, 2017
Trans Voices is a book with a bit of a strange pedigree, written as it is by a gay man who was ashamed of how little he knew about trans people. It is a book written both for those friends, families, and allies who are interested in better understanding trans issues, and for those of us questioning (or just exploring) our own gender identity.
The book itself is very easy to read, balancing social and psychological theories with real trans experiences. In writing the book, Henry interviewed several dozen trans individuals, and he allows them to speak in their own words throughout. As a result, we get to see all sides of the story, allowing readers to not just understand the trans experience, but truly emphasize with it.
What struck me most about the book is how inclusive it is. It opens with the mandatory chapters on Being Trans and on Transitioning, and then moves right into MTF and FTM transsexuals. Pretty standard stuff. After that, however, it devotes a chapter to Non-Binary individuals, and another to Cross-Dressers. This is not a book that is about ‘just’ one group of trans folk, it is a book that strives to embrace and positively support all gender identities and expressions.
The chapter on Sex and Sexuality is fascinating reading, and the one on Health is pretty much a must-read for anybody who has ever considered any sort of transition. At just over 200 pages, Trans Voices is a short, but powerful, read that I would love to get into the hands of friends and family. Sure, its diversity might raise as many new question as it answers, but so long as it’s a positive discussion, I am always happy to talk gender.
Originally reviewed for Frock Magazine
The book itself is very easy to read, balancing social and psychological theories with real trans experiences. In writing the book, Henry interviewed several dozen trans individuals, and he allows them to speak in their own words throughout. As a result, we get to see all sides of the story, allowing readers to not just understand the trans experience, but truly emphasize with it.
What struck me most about the book is how inclusive it is. It opens with the mandatory chapters on Being Trans and on Transitioning, and then moves right into MTF and FTM transsexuals. Pretty standard stuff. After that, however, it devotes a chapter to Non-Binary individuals, and another to Cross-Dressers. This is not a book that is about ‘just’ one group of trans folk, it is a book that strives to embrace and positively support all gender identities and expressions.
The chapter on Sex and Sexuality is fascinating reading, and the one on Health is pretty much a must-read for anybody who has ever considered any sort of transition. At just over 200 pages, Trans Voices is a short, but powerful, read that I would love to get into the hands of friends and family. Sure, its diversity might raise as many new question as it answers, but so long as it’s a positive discussion, I am always happy to talk gender.
Originally reviewed for Frock Magazine
May 24, 2017
More of a book for cis allies than for trans people I think, but still interesting. However it does use a lot of 'born in the wrong body' type language and has a chapter on cross-dressers, so... yeah. (On the other hand though, chapter on non-binary people!)
Also, it had a chapter on discrimination and hate crime, and didn't mention anything about what trans people of colour face, which is a pretty big oversight considering how many black trans women get murdered each year, and which makes me think that most if not all of the interviewees were white. I get that it's a short book and they can't cover everything, but there wasn't any mention anywhere in the book of the intersection between trans people and race. Which, yeah.
I'm white so I'm hardly the best person to talk about this, but none of the other reviews mentioned this and it's worth talking about.
Also, it had a chapter on discrimination and hate crime, and didn't mention anything about what trans people of colour face, which is a pretty big oversight considering how many black trans women get murdered each year, and which makes me think that most if not all of the interviewees were white. I get that it's a short book and they can't cover everything, but there wasn't any mention anywhere in the book of the intersection between trans people and race. Which, yeah.
I'm white so I'm hardly the best person to talk about this, but none of the other reviews mentioned this and it's worth talking about.
March 7, 2025
i went into this thinking it was written but a trans person and was surprised to find out it was not. i’m not saying that non-trans people can’t write about these topics, but it just didn’t quite feel authentic, i suppose. sure, it contained some new information, and i appreciated the variety of perspectives that came from the interviewees’ anecdotes. however, i do not think this book is written for people who are already familiar with the trans and gender non-conforming communities. i would have much more enjoyed to read a book written by a trans or gender non-conforming author, or perhaps a compilation of several authors’ works. maybe this book is better for older people who do not know much about transness, although to them i would still suggest reading directly from trans authors. as a young person navigating my own gender though, i don’t think this had quite what i was looking for.
November 17, 2016
i read this as an arc from netgalley! thanks netgalley :)
i read this during trans awareness week, which was cool. this book focuses on the stories of trans people (including nonbinary people!) in the UK and ireland.
i was really happy when reading the nonbinary section because i was unaware that one could identify both as cis and gender variant or gender non-conforming (like a butch lesbian). it made me feel a lot more secure and comfortable in my gender expression to see that in print.
this book also has a lot of helpful information for people who don't know a lot about the trans community, including terminology. the stories were often touching and overall it was a really enjoyable nonfiction read.
i read this during trans awareness week, which was cool. this book focuses on the stories of trans people (including nonbinary people!) in the UK and ireland.
i was really happy when reading the nonbinary section because i was unaware that one could identify both as cis and gender variant or gender non-conforming (like a butch lesbian). it made me feel a lot more secure and comfortable in my gender expression to see that in print.
this book also has a lot of helpful information for people who don't know a lot about the trans community, including terminology. the stories were often touching and overall it was a really enjoyable nonfiction read.
December 29, 2016
Thanks to net galley for providing me with a copy of this book, in exchange for a honest review.
I am currently outlining a novel that features a transgender protagonist. When I saw this book, I thought it'd be perfect for me to get an idea about what it's like to be transgender.
This book contained a lot of information about all aspects of being transgender. It was interesting and I really enjoyed reading the personal stories. It has also given me a lot to think about in regards to my novel.
I am currently outlining a novel that features a transgender protagonist. When I saw this book, I thought it'd be perfect for me to get an idea about what it's like to be transgender.
This book contained a lot of information about all aspects of being transgender. It was interesting and I really enjoyed reading the personal stories. It has also given me a lot to think about in regards to my novel.
January 18, 2018
Content warnings: bad science, transphobic rhetoric
Review can be found here at Blow Pop's Book Reviews.
Review can be found here at Blow Pop's Book Reviews.
July 2, 2021
The back of the book was horrifying and I expected a complete shit show when reading this. I even did a rant about the ableist and transphobic undertones of the blurb on Instagram, and continued to post updates on my story while reading this (@that_bookworm_guy)
I was pleasantly surprised that it contained some good points, however, it is nothing new. This is maybe a good book if you know next to nothing about trans people. This is definitely written for cis people that don't know much and want a basic all rounder.
However, the author is not trans. He has collected views and quotes from trans people and used this to show his points. I'm glad he interviewed a lot of trans people, but it didn't really give space for their voices, but seem rather that their voices gave space for his words. I'm not saying that cis people can't write books about being trans etc, but rather consider why they are choosing to write the book and what they can do for trans people. Trans people are often spoken over and yelled over and are only listened to when cis people yell over us and shout the same things we are, instead of boosting our voices so that other listen to us.
The author spoke about how trans people experience discrimination, however didn't touch on the relations with this and race. Trans people of colour experience a much higher rate of hate compared to white people and trans women of colour are murdered at a much higher rate compared to white or white passing trans women. This is not new information, and considering some of the other hard hitting topics (mental health, and sucide), it seems odd that this wasn't even mentioned once.
I also don't agree that cross-dressers should be included with trans people, unless they identify as such. But even the author said that most cross dressers are heterosexual cis men who have no desire to transition and don't label themselves as trans. So why was this included?? The really odd thing was how the author kept mentioning that it was often linked to sexual desires and behaviour, even going as far as mentioning that sometimes they would steal family members underwear to wear while performing sexual acts. I don't understand while this was included in a book about trans people. For someone who may not be able to distinguish between cross dresser and trans people, they may think that trans women are just Cross dressers, and therefore just a man in a dress, which is no only falling into harmful stereotypes, but untrue. Trans women are women, not men in dresses.
I feel like this feeds into transphobia and also may be confusing. As a trans person myself, I am confused why this was included in the book as the two are vastly different from one another. One is a trans person, the other is someone who like to dress up and have a persona but who has no issue with their assigned gender
There were some good points in this book, but they mainly came from the foreword and some of the trans peoples views. I can't say I agreed with all of the trans people interviewed, but that's the incredible thing, we are all different and our experiences are never the same. We have a variety of thought and opinions.
This book was published 4 years ago, and like non-fiction books, some of the information inside is now out-dated. I'm not holding this against the book at all and this doesn't affect my review, but it is important to consider when reading this
I was pleasantly surprised that it contained some good points, however, it is nothing new. This is maybe a good book if you know next to nothing about trans people. This is definitely written for cis people that don't know much and want a basic all rounder.
However, the author is not trans. He has collected views and quotes from trans people and used this to show his points. I'm glad he interviewed a lot of trans people, but it didn't really give space for their voices, but seem rather that their voices gave space for his words. I'm not saying that cis people can't write books about being trans etc, but rather consider why they are choosing to write the book and what they can do for trans people. Trans people are often spoken over and yelled over and are only listened to when cis people yell over us and shout the same things we are, instead of boosting our voices so that other listen to us.
The author spoke about how trans people experience discrimination, however didn't touch on the relations with this and race. Trans people of colour experience a much higher rate of hate compared to white people and trans women of colour are murdered at a much higher rate compared to white or white passing trans women. This is not new information, and considering some of the other hard hitting topics (mental health, and sucide), it seems odd that this wasn't even mentioned once.
I also don't agree that cross-dressers should be included with trans people, unless they identify as such. But even the author said that most cross dressers are heterosexual cis men who have no desire to transition and don't label themselves as trans. So why was this included?? The really odd thing was how the author kept mentioning that it was often linked to sexual desires and behaviour, even going as far as mentioning that sometimes they would steal family members underwear to wear while performing sexual acts. I don't understand while this was included in a book about trans people. For someone who may not be able to distinguish between cross dresser and trans people, they may think that trans women are just Cross dressers, and therefore just a man in a dress, which is no only falling into harmful stereotypes, but untrue. Trans women are women, not men in dresses.
I feel like this feeds into transphobia and also may be confusing. As a trans person myself, I am confused why this was included in the book as the two are vastly different from one another. One is a trans person, the other is someone who like to dress up and have a persona but who has no issue with their assigned gender
There were some good points in this book, but they mainly came from the foreword and some of the trans peoples views. I can't say I agreed with all of the trans people interviewed, but that's the incredible thing, we are all different and our experiences are never the same. We have a variety of thought and opinions.
This book was published 4 years ago, and like non-fiction books, some of the information inside is now out-dated. I'm not holding this against the book at all and this doesn't affect my review, but it is important to consider when reading this
March 6, 2024
Overall not bad but each chapter had something that irked me a little. To start with, the book wasn't written by a trans or non-binary person, which I know is purposeful to show knowledge growth and blank slate with no judgement but left some comments in the book that I think a trans person wouldn't have made
The book was also written in 2017, and again isn't their fault but now is not current form the dramatic changes in legislation, definitions, trans issues and waiting times. For instance the book suggests a 6 month waiting list for first appointments at a GIC but it's more like 6 years now.
Another key outdated section was how transgender people and gender dysphoria is viewed as a psychiatric or mental disorder which again no longer is
I found it also had a very heavy emphasis on trans women, or at least had more trans women voices
I get the principle was to have ordinary trans people voice opinions but it occasionally got quite bitchy, especially from older trans people to younge trans people as the former think we have it easy and are complaining. We all have a right to complain as the situation is far from easy. As well as highlighting dissonance between LGB and the T.
There was also heavy emphasis on genital reconstruction which isn't necessary to identify as a trans person and felt this took away some vital parts of choice and identity that left me feeling like I was less of a trans person for not wanting surgery
I also think the book missed key issues such as bathroom debates and identification documents and socialising which are critical to trans people and their lives
I did enjoy that they included non-binary and cross-dressers as well as inter-sex as separate sections, however they failed to include drag kings and queens which are vital parts of trans umbrella community that are currently under attack but support us
As for the sex and sexuality section, I found it quite hard to read. It was very selective in terms of only referring to LGB sexualities where in fact it's missing several sexualities like pan, ace, aro, queer, etc but I did appreciate the comments about heterosexuality after transition though which is the first I've read but is reassuring to know others have dealt with being gay and cis to being trans and straight
I feel like I needed the book to give more support from those trans voices like how they coped with transitioning or advice on facing challenges for instance. It seemed to focus more on negativity than positivity which left me once finished a little disappointed
It is a good book to introduce to someone who doesn't know much about the trans community and would recommend to friends who want to be an ally but in terms of what I needed and wanted as a trans person it didn't meet
The book was also written in 2017, and again isn't their fault but now is not current form the dramatic changes in legislation, definitions, trans issues and waiting times. For instance the book suggests a 6 month waiting list for first appointments at a GIC but it's more like 6 years now.
Another key outdated section was how transgender people and gender dysphoria is viewed as a psychiatric or mental disorder which again no longer is
I found it also had a very heavy emphasis on trans women, or at least had more trans women voices
I get the principle was to have ordinary trans people voice opinions but it occasionally got quite bitchy, especially from older trans people to younge trans people as the former think we have it easy and are complaining. We all have a right to complain as the situation is far from easy. As well as highlighting dissonance between LGB and the T.
There was also heavy emphasis on genital reconstruction which isn't necessary to identify as a trans person and felt this took away some vital parts of choice and identity that left me feeling like I was less of a trans person for not wanting surgery
I also think the book missed key issues such as bathroom debates and identification documents and socialising which are critical to trans people and their lives
I did enjoy that they included non-binary and cross-dressers as well as inter-sex as separate sections, however they failed to include drag kings and queens which are vital parts of trans umbrella community that are currently under attack but support us
As for the sex and sexuality section, I found it quite hard to read. It was very selective in terms of only referring to LGB sexualities where in fact it's missing several sexualities like pan, ace, aro, queer, etc but I did appreciate the comments about heterosexuality after transition though which is the first I've read but is reassuring to know others have dealt with being gay and cis to being trans and straight
I feel like I needed the book to give more support from those trans voices like how they coped with transitioning or advice on facing challenges for instance. It seemed to focus more on negativity than positivity which left me once finished a little disappointed
It is a good book to introduce to someone who doesn't know much about the trans community and would recommend to friends who want to be an ally but in terms of what I needed and wanted as a trans person it didn't meet
December 23, 2023
This book positions itself as an aggregation of various perspectives of trans people with interviews pairing alongside topics that are unique to transgender people. I was excited to read this book as I was really hoping for a great resource to share with those who are unintentionally ignorant of specific LGBTQ challenges. This book was not that. The author is not a trans person and their lack of personal perspective shines across each chapter as topics are presented haphazardly with historical events being interspersed with conjecture that is never fully addressed. An example. In the chapter of being transgender an idea is posited that perhaps the T in LGBTQ should be removed? Why you may ask? Because the author brings it up and then pairs alongside with a few interviews from various transgender people whose opinions are that as a gender identity, Transgender people don’t belong in a group of sexuality’s. Now someone maybe unfamiliar with the struggles of the queer community might read that and think, I guess that makes sense. But please know, I do not know of a single queer person who in today’s world thinks thats its a good idea to start cherry picking which sexuality or which identity is “like-enough” to be in the correct LGBTQ bucket. In fact in today’s world, such language is associated with groups and political ideologies that want to strip us all of our rights. The author also, like in many of the other chapters, never presents an alternative viewpoint. We also never know the questions being asked to prompt the interviewee responses which leaves Declan Henry to put them wherever he sees fit. And it’s very clear to me that he puts little thoughtfulness into where these interviews go. I could rant on but I think I made my point. This is an awful book.
June 25, 2018
The way the story weaves makes me question who's narrative is being used, the trans people experiencing it or the gay man writing about it.
The books audience seems to be other gay men, not to be known as terrific allies of trans people. Introduction especially was horrible, I literally crossed our a few words that were just no okay. The way he talked about Trans people was very paternalistic and demeaning. The facts embedded in the work seemed based upon hearsay the way they were inserted in it, which made me doubt their credibility.
The book was easy to read. I like that it was broken up by identity and then later subject. The second half of the book was so kuch better than the first half.
I guess I wished he talkes less and instead let the trans voices more lead the path. Context and weaving the stories together is important but it seemed like less than half of the book was actual trans peoples voices. Especially in certain parts of the book where he wanted to add the narrative instead of allowing the people experiencing it (the trans ppl) explain it.
I would recommend this book but I would urge the reader to skip the intro and to understand the author is very chatty and the audience it is mostly intended for is gay men, so don't expect much, then you'll be pleasantly surprised at how good it actually is.
The books audience seems to be other gay men, not to be known as terrific allies of trans people. Introduction especially was horrible, I literally crossed our a few words that were just no okay. The way he talked about Trans people was very paternalistic and demeaning. The facts embedded in the work seemed based upon hearsay the way they were inserted in it, which made me doubt their credibility.
The book was easy to read. I like that it was broken up by identity and then later subject. The second half of the book was so kuch better than the first half.
I guess I wished he talkes less and instead let the trans voices more lead the path. Context and weaving the stories together is important but it seemed like less than half of the book was actual trans peoples voices. Especially in certain parts of the book where he wanted to add the narrative instead of allowing the people experiencing it (the trans ppl) explain it.
I would recommend this book but I would urge the reader to skip the intro and to understand the author is very chatty and the audience it is mostly intended for is gay men, so don't expect much, then you'll be pleasantly surprised at how good it actually is.
March 16, 2022
Alright and fairly comprehensive introduction for allies, family members etc, who know little or nothing about the subject. But if you are, or are close to, a trans-person, or have done any amount of internet research, you're not going to find much that is new here. And speaking of "new", the book is from 2017 and is rapidly becoming dated. It is also not written by a trans-person, and although there are plenty of trans-voices in the book, it just seems a bit weird. Again and again it is mentioned how trans people are at the mercy of people who are not trans themselves, the psychiatrists - gatekeepers of gender certificates as well as hormone and surgical treatments. So while I have no doubt that the book was done in the best meaning, it seems a bit... condescending, maybe? It also seemed a bit strange to have a whole chapter on cross-dressing. That's a lot of words just to say that "there are (overwhelmingly) men who like to dress in women's clothing, but they are not trans-gender - or drag queens - they just like the clothes for a variety of reasons, oh and most of them are straight". See, I did it in one run-on sentence.
The chapter on non-binary people was a nice inclusion, however. As was the list of further reading and trans interest organisations at the back of the book.
The chapter on non-binary people was a nice inclusion, however. As was the list of further reading and trans interest organisations at the back of the book.
February 25, 2022
I picked this up mainly due to the striking cover. Although this is interesting and educational it is mostly dry and factual. Firstly this is written by a Gay Cis Man and although it includes quotes and snippets it is not really an own voice narrative, so I think that takes away some of the realness. I think the author was trying so hard for this to be bias-free and clear facts that he lost a lot of the emotions. Also, the book is written under headings, with interview snippets and quotes assigned to each heading such as 'surgery', 'identity' and 'sexual heath' etc. So you don't get an immersive experience of the interviews. I think I came into this book wanting a set of short autobiographical stories written by Trans people writing about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Not a dictionary, thesaurus, and guide map about being trans.
July 13, 2025
A really valuable collection of personal stories interspersed with excellent commentary and analysis of the state of trans and intersex legal, medical and social acceptance in 2017. Unfortunately the world has changed for the worst since then in regards to the human rights of those minorities but when the book was written the future looked bright and I hope it will be again. Henry covers all aspects of trans, with informed commentary on everything from crossdressers to full transition, the medical and legal aspects all done through interviews with trans people. I recently had a GP appointment and happened to be reading this book as I waited to be seen. My GP saw the book and took a photo of the cover after I recommended it to her, wanting to know more about the subject from a different perspective (she's had me as a patient for over 20 years!) Lovely book, well worth looking out for.
February 18, 2019
Mainly targetted at cis-allies, not trans people. Some of the info is a bit out of date and it could have done with more in-depth research but for a beginners intro into trans people and the issues they face its pretty decent.
I don't think the cross-dresser's section should have been included, yes there needed to be a clarification between transwomen/drag queens/crossdressers. But all those interviews in this section where cismen, who largely described how their cross-dressing started out sexually and with masturbating to their mother's underwear, which is extremely uncomfortable and disturbing, the crossdressers section further stigmatises trans people by being included in this book.
I don't think the cross-dresser's section should have been included, yes there needed to be a clarification between transwomen/drag queens/crossdressers. But all those interviews in this section where cismen, who largely described how their cross-dressing started out sexually and with masturbating to their mother's underwear, which is extremely uncomfortable and disturbing, the crossdressers section further stigmatises trans people by being included in this book.
January 12, 2025
This was... okay? I picked it up in an effort to better understand trans pov, and I'm not sure it served me well. The interviews were mixed for me, I enjoyed that they were from average people rather than celebrities, but I felt they could have been framed better and the author could have provided better analysis and commentary on the opposing ideas rather than simply explaining they exist. I also feel the interviewees could have been more diverse, and there should have been a wider focus.
I don't think I would recommend this to anyone, there is some useful information in there but it's overall not very well developed and shrouded by other issues in the book. 2/2.5 stars
I don't think I would recommend this to anyone, there is some useful information in there but it's overall not very well developed and shrouded by other issues in the book. 2/2.5 stars
January 16, 2025
Il libro prova a raccontare cosa significa essere trans, dando voce direttamente alle tante persone intervistate.
Voto 4/5. È stata una bella lettura. Sono una persona cisgender ed è stato bello avere un contatto con esperienze fuori dal mio vissuto. Ho apprezzato il fatto che fossero condivisioni di esperienze personali.
Mi ha lasciato un pochino di confusione. Credo che l'autore abbia cercato di rappresentare tantissime esperienze, anche molto diverse fra loro. Forse mi avrebbe aiutato se il libro e gli interventi al suo interno fossero stati più lunghi, per riuscire ad immergermi meglio.
Voto 4/5. È stata una bella lettura. Sono una persona cisgender ed è stato bello avere un contatto con esperienze fuori dal mio vissuto. Ho apprezzato il fatto che fossero condivisioni di esperienze personali.
Mi ha lasciato un pochino di confusione. Credo che l'autore abbia cercato di rappresentare tantissime esperienze, anche molto diverse fra loro. Forse mi avrebbe aiutato se il libro e gli interventi al suo interno fossero stati più lunghi, per riuscire ad immergermi meglio.
May 4, 2017
Informative for those of us in the LGBT community who want to understand a little more about transgender people, but don't really have enough contact with them to satisfy our curiosity. I don't mean curiosity about where they go to the bathroom or what genitalia they have, but their everyday lives and what it feels like to look at your body and not see the person you are inside. Having read this book I can understand better what that must feel like. That makes this an important book.
January 30, 2019
A truly powerful and important read. This book introduced me to a world I thought I knew and showed how much I still had to learn. Luckily, it was willing to do so in a way that will stay with me for a long time. The interviews and views expressed challenged my preconceptions and left me wiser and hopefully kinder. A must read for anyone looking to engage with discussions about gender identity particularly in the current climate
April 4, 2025
Overall, it's a good book for allies to read who want to learn more about the trans umbrella; the best part of it are the personal stories quoted - I think maybe it should just contain definitions of terms and then the stories. I found some of the author's language problematic (like calling people transexual when in a medical context) or saying some cross-dressers are narcisistic for enjoying taking photos.
February 9, 2026
This book is one of the most compassionate and illuminating explorations of gender identity I have read. By centering the voices of people who have lived through transition, it moves beyond theory and into lived reality. The interviews reveal not one story, but many each shaped by courage, fear, resilience, and self-discovery. As someone who values listening before judging, I found this book both humbling and deeply educational. It challenges assumptions and replaces them with understanding.
May 28, 2021
A good introduction to gender in its many forms and the tremendous difficulties faced by the trans and non binary communities.
The reason I didn't rate it higher was because it wasn't intersectional. There were no perspectives from different races, cultures or disabilities and this was really disappointing.
The reason I didn't rate it higher was because it wasn't intersectional. There were no perspectives from different races, cultures or disabilities and this was really disappointing.
December 1, 2023
A great primer for anyone interested in knowing a little more of the lived experience of trans people. Yes, it's a little superficial in places and also a little medically orientated, but despite this it does seek to give voice to as diverse a group of trans people as possible. Like Wikipedia, it's a great place to start a journey of understanding but not a place to stop.
February 12, 2022
Good and informative read. Includes a view on non-binary people as well and as someone who identifies as Non-Binary I can say that I felt seen in this book and that the descriptions used and the voices shared felt similar to what I experienced.
August 27, 2023
4.75*. As a cis-gendered reader this was such a helpful book for me. It has hugely expanded my understanding of trans life and issues. Having been published in 2017 it would not have been bang up to date though, so an updated edition would have been more useful.
November 9, 2024
Most of the other one-star reviews match my criticism of this work. I feel that this book, like The Vagina Monologues, will be viewed in a different light once the initial enthusiasm settles down (cultural datedness).
April 17, 2026
Interesting view on transsexuals and their experiences, however it seems a bit cherrypicked.
3 stars because the book contained a cross dresser (I am uninterested in reading about autogynephiliac men) and non binary chapter. Those are not topics on my interest.
3 stars because the book contained a cross dresser (I am uninterested in reading about autogynephiliac men) and non binary chapter. Those are not topics on my interest.
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