Uncoupling: How to survive and thrive after breakup and divorce

by Sara Davison

With a fresh, sympathetic and reassuring approach, Uncoupling provides tried-and-tested advice that will help anyone going through a break-up. It is the book that Sara looked for - and couldn't find - when going through the process herself, so she is only too well aware how few places people feel they can turn to for compassionate and practical advice.

Uncoupling combines Sara's extensive training in life-coaching techniques, her cutting-edge work with those who are themselves 'uncoupling', and her own personal experience. Her advice will show you how to navigate the pitfalls and will make the process easier. It is all about being in emotional control and Uncoupling will help you build your personal strength so that you can deal with the rollercoaster of emotions more effectively, enabling you to move forwards. It is all about putting you back in control.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction

240 pages, Paperback

Published April 17, 2018

Reviews

[Chava]

yawn! Yeah, not a great book. Lots of "poor me poor me", self-absorbed blah blah and "I have a business that can help you with that" ie, this book is just self-promotion and if her book is anything to go by....you get my drift.

[Matthew]

I thought this was an excellent book.

It is well written and very informative. The book has a theme of providing constant reminders that the many of the challenges, behaviors, and experiences associated with breakup are *normal* while simultaneously providing concrete, practical exercises and guidance for moving forward. The book cites example after example of common problems and issues, and follows them with thoughtful advice and reasoning.

I found the whole work supportive, engaging, and practical.

As such, I think it is an excellent resource and highly recommended.

NOTE: I do strongly recommend some additional reading for those in this situation. And that is to read the books: Attached by Amir Levine (book or audiobook), Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Gottman (book) and listening (only available on audio) to The Power Of Vulnerability by Brene Brown (yep, worst title EVER. See my review, then listen to it) and Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin. My reason for this is to develop an education on secure relationship behaviors which are key to successful relationships. The framework of these books makes it much easier to see and avoid the traps of future relationships so that hopefully, a repetition of any errors can be avoided. Now, if you read these or similar books before the divorce, you can discard. If you are not familiar with these books, they are must reads - but probably NOT in the immediate after-math. Instead, the phase of being willing to go out and venture into the world again is when you should give these a go.

[Saloni (earnestlyeccentric)]

A self-help book about getting over a divorce/breakup.

Spoilers ahead.

This breakup has absolutely devastated and ruined me.

The few of you keeping up with all my reviews will probably have guessed that I'm going through a breakup lol given that it bleeds into every facet of my life now. I don't think I've felt so down in my life. Part of me thinks that I'm even more depressed than when my beautiful dog Merlin passed away because I'm grieving for a person who has actively made the decision to not be with me. Also, I know everyone's gone through heartbreak, but it still feels like a singular experience where I'm the only one grieving this relationship, whereas with Merlin, my whole family mourned, and I was never told to just accept it and move on. It was a communal grief. The only person experiencing something similar, i.e., Stormaflu, is one I've had to cut contact with and it suuuuuuckkkkkkks.

Anyway, given how depressed and down in the dumps I am, I figured I should take this opportunity to learn something. YouTube has totally realised I'm going through a breakup because I'm getting Jordan Peterson and Alain de Botton videos recommended to me just like when I was getting over the multiple crushes I had who rejected me. BUT I'm trying not to procrastinate on YouTube anymore, so I picked the first breakup book I found on BorrowBox instead.

I was pleasantly disappointed with this book. A lot of the advice was stuff I already knew, and a LOT of it applied to married people. I think at least 45% of the book was about how children should be dealt with, and I was just like, "I'm a child," because that is indeed how I feel. :-( The only part that I found helpful was when the author spoke about the feelings she had while going through her divorce--feeling like a failure and thinking that no one would love her again. I also liked some of the stories she shared about her clients because I could relate. Also, I just felt that I had things so much better than the others. Stormaflu never cheated on me or treated me badly. I felt a bit guilty for being so down when others had it so much worse, but I know my feelings are still valid.

I didn't think this book helped me very much. Perhaps my expectations were too high going in. I still feel depressed about being in a city that has very little diversity unless I set foot in the hospital, where all the doctors and nurses are already settled down or married. I feel even more depressed at the fact that all my friends and family are happily engaged or married. This was not what I had wanted for myself at this age. I blame Disney and multiple Indian astrologers for raising my expectations, and I'm praying for better days ahead.

[Alyssa Mabley]

Would not suggest buying this book. The most helpful piece of information including designing and planning your future relationships. Deciding what you will and won't let happen in your relationships and what you look for in a partner. The book provides basic information that I assume most of us know already.

[Julie-Anne Borgias]

Very useful