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Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It
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Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It

4.21  ·  Rating details ·  464 ratings  ·  82 reviews
We’ve been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don’t orgasm this way. We’ve separated our most reliable route to orgasm—clitoral stimulation—from how we feel we should orgasm—penetr ...more
ebook, 288 pages
Published May 9th 2017 by HarperOne (first published 2017)
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Jill In the Acknowledgments section: "A special thanks to Ian Kerner - who coined the words "cliterate" and "cliteracy" - and who so generously allows othe…moreIn the Acknowledgments section: "A special thanks to Ian Kerner - who coined the words "cliterate" and "cliteracy" - and who so generously allows others, including myself, to use them." (less)

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Sleepless Dreamer
Feb 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book is a must-have for every person who has a vulva (heck yeah, applying lessons from the book) or would like to help pleasure someone who has one.

Before reading this, I was fairly skeptical. I had the feeling that it would be the type of book 40+ year old housewives read that makes them name their genitalia, speak about it as if it has feelings and suggests group masturbation sessions to everyone they know. Which, isn't bad but is definitely not who I am.

However, this book is so so far f
Ashley Holstrom
Looking for a smart, sassy book about feminism and sexuality and equal-opportunity orgasms? Becoming Cliterate is your gal.

It’s this year’s Come As You Are! With a complete focus on vulvas! This book is set up like a college textbook for female orgasm, with some philosophy and pep talks and then some hands-on experimenting. And a chapter at the end for male partners to read. What more could you need?

From Taking Care of Yourself with Books at Book Riot.
Kendall Ball
May 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
If I had to choose one word to summarize this book it would be "empowering." Mintz offers valuable information not only about female orgasm and the clitoris, but also about the female anatomy, mindfulness, and communication with your partner. And she does it all with humor and a great spirit!
Jun 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Can't go wrong with this book. It's interesting (and annoying) how women's pleasure takes a major backseat to men's, historically. You might learn something, your partner might learn something. One little change for me is that I taught my daughter the word vulva and use it when applicable instead of the anatomically incorrect catchall "vagina." I hope it's the beginning of our open, appropriate, shame-free, body-positive conversations.
Jul 13, 2017 rated it liked it
This book is an easy, lively read, and offers lots of good information about women's sexuality and especially the clitoris - what it is, how it contributes to arousal and pleasure, and how women can become more adept lovers (and self-lovers). That said, part of Mintz' purpose is to lay to rest the myth that good sex has to involve vaginal penetration, by a penis or anything else. To that end, she minimizes and then dismisses as largely irrelevant information about the g-spot and other loci of ar ...more
Phelecia Odima
Aug 06, 2017 rated it really liked it
"Becoming Cliterate" by Dr Laurie Mintz is an amazing book for anyone who wants to learn about female sexuality and specifically the clitoris, the one human organ solely responsible for pleasure. According to research, only 5% of women achieve orgasms through penetration only, an overwhelming 95% need some form of clitorial stimulation. Yet we as a society almost never talk about the clitoris, men who learn about sex through porn think thay penetration is all a woman needs to orgasm. So in turn ...more
Oct 27, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway (and I’m so glad I did). This is a very charming, sex positive and thorough look at the female orgasm that reads like a how to from your friendly local sexpert therapist who also happens to be a highly educated feminist. As a psychotherapist, I so appreciated the additional knowledge and ways of engaging with my clients around orgasm/pleasure/beliefs around what sex “should” be. All around one of the better psychology books I’ve read because I know I ...more
Jun 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is relevant, amazingly written, and incredibly helpful! The teachings in it have not only drastically improved my sex life, but have changed the way I think about sex and increased my confidence and strengthened my sense of self outside the bedroom. In addition to being very practically helpful, it is so fun to read! Dr. Mintz is funny and it feels like she's talking directly to you. She is the cool, non-judgmental, sex-positive mom you never had! Definitely recommend!
Olivia Savage
Jan 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book was fantastic! If you’re ready to have your entire mindset shifted around your pleasure (ladies, I’m talking to you) and why your orgasms matter (plus, bonuses on how to get there!) then you need to read this gem of a book!

So glad I picked it up! Will be buying for all my friends.
Denise Skilton
Jun 25, 2017 rated it really liked it
If you feel that men have it all there own way in the bedroom? or maybe you feel ripped off during sex? well this book is for you. This very detail book explains all about the woman's body, how to orgasm, and all the ins and out about how a woman feels about sex, before, during and after. All the tips on how to get the most out of your sex life. It encourage you to feel good about your body, and relax more then you normally do. It has lots of interesting facts through out the book, and the style ...more
Michelle Pickett
I'm not sure what I expected Becoming Cliterate to be when I started reading, but it isn't what it was, which was a smart, funny look at the female orgasm. The author did an excellent job of presenting the information in a way that wasn't too clinical. She added sass and humor when needed to keep the reader engaged, but covered the female body and the science of how and why orgasms work--complete with a chapter for the male partner.

Full Disclosure: I was invited by the publisher to read this tit
Marcey Rader
Sep 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
If you have had an orgasm, have not had an orgasm, care about having or giving orgasms.....this is probably on a must-read list for you. Laurie Mintz does an excellent job of dispelling the myth of how orgasms occur, why porn and movies have perpetuated this myth and totally ruined it for women, and how to ........the list goes on and on. Easy to read style that is just the right amount of girl talk and science. And yes..there is a chapter for men to read to. :)
Oct 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Highly recommend! I actually got a chance to speak with the author recently. She is as empowering, friendly, and genuine as she comes across in the book. Great down-to-earth advice and education. I will definitely recommend this book to clients and friends.
Bethany Stahler
Jan 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This is so important. Everyone that has a cookie or loves someone with a cookie needs this book.🌷
love. love. love.
Oct 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Informative, fun, and a super accessible read. I highly recommend the book to every woman, every feminist, anyone in favor of equality, and anyone who may have sex with a woman. There is information for everyone in here.
The author maintains a fun and comfortable tone while staying focused on her conviction to pursue sexual equality, reduce false or un-communicated expectations, and eradicate sexual guilt and shame for future generations. I have given this book to men and women as gifts for birt
Apr 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
I listened to this book while driving, and I think it’s one that would be better read.

It contained a lot of useful information, that I think will be helpful for my clients in therapy. I particularly appreciated her discussion on the performance model that we so often get stuck in- women often feel their duty is to satisfy their partner, and turns sexual interaction into a performance rather than a shared enjoyable experience. We often view women’s sexual satisfaction as a prelude to “real sex”
Aug 02, 2017 rated it liked it
Some good information in this book. For the most part, there wasn't much that was new to me. Cementing biological knowledge mostly. However, that being said, if one knows nothing about the clit or isn't sure how to communicate with a potential partner, this book would be a valuable resource. I know people who would probably benefit from reading this. I very much appreciate Mintz's desire to change the cultural dialogue regarding sex, the clit, women's orgasms, intercourse, how society refers to ...more
Joe Lyons
Jun 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is yet another feminist book describing (in detail) how society is slanted against women. I picked it off the shelf because it was a "must read for everyone," and I concur. I would give this book as a gift, but that would be creepy, so just take my advise and read this work.
Steph Mecham
Jan 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: feminist-thought
This should seriously be required reading for all females and heterosexual males. Amazing.

Joel D
May 12, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book is good and Dare I say it very hands on.
Pradeep E
Sep 10, 2020 rated it really liked it
Dr Laurie Mintz's entertaining but tad repetitive academic work is an insightful work, with its focus on clitoris simulation rather than intercourse as a source for female orgasm. At the same time, it is also illuminating how orgasms vary for the 2 genders.

The writer says female orgasm requires clitoris stimulation, and not intercourse. Unfortunately, a lot of media and other representation appears to limit sex to penetration which is more male driven. She calls it penile driven orgasm and clito
This book is SO FREAKING AWESOME. Practical, helpful, well-written, feminist, and (of course) so very sex-positive. Dr. Mintz walks us through anatomy, plus problems with our culture and how it affects our psychology around sex. She also gives an in-depth guide to getting to know your own anatomy (if you're a vulva-haver), and encourages you to spend some hands-on time learning your likes and dislikes.

I especially loved the section (she calls them sextions!) on communication--SUCH good advice f
Sarah Baggs
May 24, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2020
I found this book really empowering, illuminating and edifying.
At this point in my life I consider myself pretty sex literate but I still found a lot to learn here both about my anatomy and my own (mis)conceptions about sex. For example, I had a real ah-ha moment at the part that talks about how strange it is that we consider oral sex and clitoral stimulation to be mere “foreplay” which prepares us for P in V intercourse when, for many, this is the main sexual event.
I recommend this to any vagi
Jul 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
If I could sum up this book in a sentence it would be:

'Only 4% of women report orgasming from vaginal penetration alone'

Appreciated the chapters on sex talks (and meta-communicating!). People suck at that.

And the research on how majority of women want more time up front not during thrusting.

An interesting discussion of 'virginity' and how penis focused that is.

and just a ton of resources for achieving a clitoral orgasm, talking about vibrators, and ways of rethinking sex to not mean mutual simul
Dee Brown
Aug 23, 2020 rated it really liked it
She should have included pulling the hood back and cleaning it. That can get nasty. Also, during oral sex, be sure the partner does not focus on the urethra opening because this can cause urinary tract infections.
Ashley Burns
May 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book should be a part of every woman's sex education. I really enjoyed reading the hardcover edition of this book and can't wait to read the updates in Dr. Mintz's new paperback edition. The book gave me new information about my body and my sexuality but I'm mostly thankful for how empowered I feel after reading this book. I feel liberated and to some degree validated in my thoughts and experiences. I'm also grateful for all the conversations about the need for orgasm equality and reproduct ...more
Tram-Anh Huynh
Feb 04, 2018 rated it liked it
I received a draft early last year and got around to reading it now. Friendly conversational writing style. Hopefully the content is more concise in the final version. Target audience seems to be straight, cis women. Maybe best suited for someone who only watches [unrealistic] porn, doesn't know much about the clit, and hasn't been exposed to sex positive messages. Good content and resources, but not much here is novel for me.
Katja Riya
This book might be useful for someone with classical heterosexual experiences.
It contains different info in a friendly way and may help to reveal some myths.
For my view, it's too much clitoris & orgasms oriented, sex is not only about getting equal orgasms on and on.
Staci Suhy
Sep 09, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
I received this book for free as part of a first reads promotion
Oct 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
Essential read even for those who think that they know enough about female bodies, sex and sexuality!

As sex topics were something I was interested since early age, I was quite skeptical about this book. My thought process was that most likely this book is written for those who just discovered the topic of female bodies/sexuality and sex in general. And I was positively surprised how much there was for me to learn!

The book presents a wide range of sexual topics (body image, accurate female sexual
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Laurie Mintz (Ph.D.) is a tenured college professor at the University of Florida, who teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to over 150 students a year. She is also a licensed psychologist with over 25 years of experience working with private clients, on both general and sexual issues. She is the author of two books aimed at empowering women sexually: Becoming Cliterate and A Tired Woman's Gui ...more

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“Quality sex is only possible with true sexual equality. We've never--at any point in Western history--had a time where the majority of the population valued women's ways of orgasm as equal to a man's. It's time to change history.” 1 likes
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