Best-Selling Jewish Porn Films

by Wayne Koestenbaum

"These latest poems reach swoony, unforeseen heights of mental raucousness and worshipful style."—Dennis Cooper

"With a nod to Woody Allen's story 'The Whore of Mensa' Koestenbaum proffers that largest of sex organs—the mind—and entices with erudite and smuttily trenchant wit. Charming, teasing, brainy and slightly Seder-Masochistic, this collection asks that age old question, 'is Crisco Kosher?' The answer might surprise you."—D.A. Powell

Wayne Koestenbaum has published five books of nonfiction, two books of poetry, a novel, and the libretto for an opera, JACKIE O.

Genres: Poetry

115 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2006

About the author

Wayne Koestenbaum has published five books of critical prose, including The Queen’s Throat: Opera, Homosexuality, and the Mystery of Desire, which was a National Book Critics Circle Award finalist; and three books of poetry, including Ode to Anna Moffo and Other Poems. He is a Professor of English at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York.

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Equal parts interesting and ridiculous, these poems pull off a lot of nimble tricks. The way some of the clashing images run into each other is sort of inspiring in it's stream-of-consciousness style. Nothing here seems so out of left-field that it doesn't sound like truth, though it is balanced quite precariously. Gender-play, religion, age, and sex. It's hard to piece together where all of these swirling bits are heading to, but I don't suppose Koestenbaum is heading in any one direction specifically.

[Anna Bueller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not once did they mention the film adaption of The Chosen by Chaim Potok. Highly inaccurate. Not even worth using as a doorstop.

[Jack Rousseau · Rating 4 out of 5]

I dropped out of the mayoral race:
a scandal. Offered
the democratic nomination,
I begged to be left alone

I gave up every ruse.
Standing upright, I napped.
Everyone said, "He looks awake!"
But I was fast asleep.

- Mayoral Race in My 39th Year, pg. 7

* * *

A sadist crawled through my apartment window
to steal four jelly glasses

and found, on my body, a small round area,
like a yo-yo, worth vibrating.

If my head and stomach weren't throbbing
I'd be a worthwhile stop on the "Homes of the Stars" bus tour.

I live near a Rite Aid.
Now I must go babysit the rain.

- Bulletin from the Vacant Lot, pg. 16

* * *

A short book about Eric Satie
sits on a shelf

the dried-blood colour of a stereo
the Emporium sold in the 1960s.

Eagerness lived at that
dark department store.

So did the category "treats"
and the sage calm of a windswept surface.

- My Satie Phase, pg. 27

* * *

Reluctant to step forward until the kingdom falls,
your professor of fable and straw

senses heaviness in the table -
weight that could easily reverse:

landedness could become aerial,
palace could advance to hovel.

I was traveling to Troy. Translate this
into Persian or Basque, it might sound identical.

- Little Film By Firelight, pg. 32

* * *

Jewish Gold
Jews Between Themselves
Wet Jew Stories
Jewish Jocks

Casa Jew
Jew-in-the-Hood
jewboyz.com
Sweatin' Jew

Jewish Hard Drive
Da Bronx Jew
Jewish Set Party
Domination Jewish Wrestling

Jewish Locker-Room Rumble
King-Size Jew
Jewish Hotel Hell
Jewish Heat Waves

Jews Should Do It!
Jews of Company F
All-American Jew
Jewish Trucking Co.

Jewish Tool & Die
Hot Jewish Rods
Jewish House Memories
Fraternity Jew

Jewish Sex Scandal
Jewish Fraternity Gang Bang
Big Jewish Daddy
Everybody Wants My Jewish Dick

Jewish Monuments
Jewish Sex Machine
Stiff Jewish Stuff
Jewish Buddies

Jews Next Door
Barebacking Jews
Genuine Leather Jews
Working Stiff Jews

Jewish Uprising
Jewish Twinks
Legendary Jewish Bodies
College Jewish Swim Team

Jewish Body Storm
Jewish Wrestle Club
Tight Jewish Assets
Jews in the Sand

Diary of a Jewish Sex Fiend
Solo Jewish Sex - Extended Pleasure for Men
The Ultimate Jewish Male Climax!
Total Jewish Corruption

Fallen Jewish Angels
The Isle of Jewish Men
Jewish Oral Exams
The Jewish Pizza Boy: He Delivers

Three Jewish Brothers
Jewish Room Service
Jewish Sexual Healing
Jews Beg for Mercy

- Best-Selling Jewish Porn Films, pg. 51-53

* * *

I can't tell apart
human beings and lawn ornaments.
More, later, about my vast holdings.

*

Oh, if I kept notebooks
proving New York sidewalks
were not imaginary!

*

Footnote:
rain floods my boat.
I lack overcoat.

*

I am a tiny topic,
though misanthropic
like snowy peripeteia on a butte.

*

I wonder what my mother felt
when the doctor told her the baby was dead.
Not my business - but I think about it some mornings.

- Crevices, pg. 63-64

* * *

I want a firmer way
to begin this sentence -
instead of "i"
a dateless residence:

*

I showed the crowd
an impressive film -
the Mickey Mouse foreplay reel.
Nothing mattered

*

except nightfall's promptness,
escritoire with many minute drawers
in a show window,
a priceless fathomless

*

yet I almost reached the intersection, where the neighbourhood
became intolerant,
momently exhibiting
a relationship to porridge, to borderline catatonic...

- The Mickey Mouse Foreplay Reel, pg. 82-83

* * *

Brahms dreamt
the complacent
girl's allergy to calamine
lotion screwed up her cat's
psyche. Clara's
hubby had a writing
block, which threatened
the Chinese dinner en famille.
Insensate, whorish,
the taxi failed to bring me here.
The hoodlum gang
coalesced. The dime
novel mugged
the Madonna of the Postpartum
Exasperation, a rain of
alphabet-soup letters alighting
on a background landscape's pinched fronds.

- Brahms Piano Quartet No. 1, pg. 107

[Glen Helfand · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be truthful, the title of this book sends me. Swoon worthy. The poem with that title is in the center, and it illustrates less an eroticism than the sense that Jewish porn is more complicated than the mainstream variety. It is a state of mind that is in Wayne's intellectual precociousness, the way he plucks words from exotic trees and references 1960s celebrities and classical allusions. The body is everywhere, but it is a different kind of movie, one that should still be playing in theaters.

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite fun when it works but often gets lost in itself. Very fragmentary, quick two or three line works closer to Tweets than haiku. All over the place like an overactive mind racing to experiences.

[Poets.org from the Academy of American Poets]

Prepare for the 2010 Poets Forum in New York City (October 28-30) by reading Koestenbaum's newest book of poetry, and check out the Poets Forum 2010 bookshelf for the latest collections by each of the poets participating in the Poets Forum. Happy reading!