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Everyday Aspergers

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Through 150 telling journal entries, Samantha Craft presents a life of humorous faux pas, profound insights, and the everyday adventures of a female with Asperger's Syndrome. A former schoolteacher and mother of three boys, Craft doesn't experience ordinary everyday happenings like most. In her vivid world, nothing is simple and everything appears pertinent. Even an average trip to the grocery store is a feat and cause for reflection. From being a dyslexic cheerleader with dysgraphia going the wrong direction, to bathroom stalking, to figuring out if she can wear that panty-free dress, Craft explores the profoundness of daily living through hilarious anecdotes and heartwarming childhood memories. When she's not laughing at the bizarreness of her days or reflecting back, then she's sharing the serious and relevant challenges of everyday living on the autism spectrum. Ten years in the making, Craft's revealing memoir brings Asperger's Syndrome into a spectrum of brilliant light-exposing the day-to-day interactions and complex inner workings of an autistic female from childhood to midlife.

382 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2016

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Samantha Craft

2 books25 followers

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5 stars
84 (38%)
4 stars
52 (23%)
3 stars
48 (22%)
2 stars
24 (11%)
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10 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
Profile Image for Maxine (Booklover Catlady).
1,305 reviews1,235 followers
August 17, 2017
This was a difficult book to read as well as a truly amazing book to read. Why? It was so emotional, so honest, so raw and I related to so much of it that it opened up every part of me and left me exposed and bare as a fellow woman with Aspergers's. Samantha Craft had me feeling I was sitting listening to her story and her wisdom over a large cup of tea, cake and with many tears and hugs in-between. Not many books can do that - or authors.

If you are looking for a clinical book about Aspergers or a breakdown of every single trait then there are other books for you. If, on the other hand you are looking for a book that lets you get inside the heart, head and soul of an autistic adult female then this IS the book for you. Samantha's book is a mixture of vignettes from childhood (which are incredibly moving and sometimes very, very sad) and her blog style of writing (Samantha has a very popular blog called Everyday Aspergers) as well as her sometimes moving and often funny descriptions of life on the spectrum.

Samantha just has a knack of expressing things that others may struggle to say or share and if you truly want to understand someone with Aspergers, especially a female then this book will enhance your clarity and understanding. If you are a woman with Aspergers you will know that Samantha "gets you" and you will relate to so much that she shares. It's a very different book and it's not often I read a book where an author strips herself so bare. It's a very brave thing to do. I can truly call her my Aspie sister and friend.

Full of powerful messages, information and a melting pot of life experiences this is just one of those wonderful books that stirred so many emotions in me. I had to keep putting it aside because it would push a button in me like her description of how despite being smart, intelligent and capable women we can sometimes struggle with the most basic of tasks. Showering may be too much on some days, a phone call on others - yet nobody expects us to struggle in this way. Other Aspies understand and relate but it's often hard to get it across to others how much help, acceptance and support those on the spectrum do need. Samantha shares this with all of her heart, shares her scars, pain, disappointment but ultimately her stunning, loving and beautiful heart.

She sends a message to the reader that we are not alone. That we are never alone. Samantha's book is exceptional, I do encourage you to embrace it no matter where your walk is with a woman with Aspergers or your relationship. If you are on of those millions of women, treasure this book and make a new friend, you will feel like you have been truly understood. A powerful book. Life changing for me as it's led my multi-faceted thinking down new paths about myself on this journey of self-discovery. I am proud to say I am blessed with Aspergers and the positive message Samantha shares is amazing. 5 stars. Even my review does not get across the emotion it stirred.

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Profile Image for PattyMacDotComma.
1,435 reviews814 followers
October 9, 2016

“Textures irritate. Smells overwhelm and overtake. Sights hurt. And even the taste of air is unpleasant.”

An intense, entertaining, funny, poignant look at the Asperger “end” of the Austism spectrum from the inside out. Samantha Craft has been keeping a blog (same name as the book title) since early 2012, and recently changed to Everyday Aspie.

She’s had a rough time of it. Bright, funny, outspoken, and with a greater propensity for foot-in-mouth than even Prince Phillip. I recognise plenty of characteristics of myself, family and friends in this, but I don’t think any of us exhibit the full gamut of quirks and traits that she does. And that’s to be expected. No two Aspies are the same just as no two NTs (neurotypicals) are the same.

“When I used to fry (massacre) sliced potatoes in a cast-iron pan, when I was about the age of eight, the potatoes would make a squealing noise, like they were crying in agonizing 'you’re killing us' pain. It was actually just the horrible sound of oil sizzling, but I felt for those particular potatoes. Sometimes I removed the ones that cried the loudest, but then I didn’t know what to do with them. Because who wants to be put in the garbage? All this personifying is a big part of the reason eating and cooking is sometimes challenging.”

She discovered what her condition was only when her middle son (she now has three teenaged sons) was diagnosed in 2005. Getting him diagnosed was a challenge in itself.

“Particularly poignant was the afternoon I gently pulled my little man (wo was screaming and slithering on the floor) across the waiting room and into the family doctor’s office. That practitioner’s advice: ‘I suggest you take a look at your parenting skills’”.

Really helpful, right?

Later, after learning a lot about it, she said “I’d like to see a Bible of Normal”.

We’ve got the big fat DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) by which so many clinicians swear, but nobody really know what’s normal. Do you?

Kind of like art. We all think we know it when we see it, but when you look around at world leaders, let alone the average citizens, think of the variety of case studies up there on the international stage. Maybe we don't know much at all.

This is a mix of reminiscences, essays, poetry, stories and some very funny anecdotes. Her husband sounds like a terrific anchor, or perhaps a rudder, to her wildly sailing ship. One moment she’s convinced she’s horrifically ugly (I believe she is very pretty, to the point that guys hit on her often), and the next minute she’s feeling quite sexy and flirty.

She writes well and there’s a lot of enjoyable reading here. I liked the personal stories from her past, and her many happy memories. A boyfriend:

“He was lanky and thin, in that just-sprouted way, so that all the parts were there and developing daily into more manly features."

Highly educated, and now teaching, she’s got a very good intellectual grasp of how she differs from whatever that phantom ‘norm’ is, but as she says, Aspergers is not something that is ever cured or indeed, needs curing.

I wonder if it’s easier for her to accept this because her middle son, the one whose diagnosis led her to learn about all this, is very bright and was quite adult from early on. She referred to him as the Little Professor. She obviously adores him and his brothers, so why should she see Aspergers as something that needs curing?

“First of all, I am not wrong or in need of improvement. I am uniquely wired. One would not tell a person with a visual impairment that if she kept staring at a picture on the wall the image would become clearer, just as one would not tell a person with a hearing impairment or repeatedly listen to a song on high-volume to improve his or her hearing.

In the same line of thinking, one should probably not tell me to continue to go outside of my comfort zone in order to eventually gain a sense of security. I do not have the physical capacity. This is not biologically possible for me (or for Sir Brain).”

“Sir Brain”, along with “LV (Little Voice)” are the two main parts of her mind that manage her thinking processes. She amuses herself by watching these two parts discuss or argue with each other.

Her husband has done a pretty good job of explaining why so many people (NTs, neurotypicals) are uncomfortable with those with Aspergers who open up with complete honesty at a first meeting. I think you could say it’s like when people wear their hearts on their sleeve in a conversation when you yourself might be expecting something more discreet. She wonders why you can’t just be open and trusting and free.

“He said that he believes most NTs (himself included) walk around in these bubbled layers of wall. There are several, at least three. (News to me.) And that when they first meet another person their bubbles kind of touch each other, and that this is their ‘line of defense.’ They (some of the NTs) like to bump and meet several times before letting down the first bubble wall. Therefore they talk about things that aren’t personal or don’t seem risky at all (safe, boring, surface-level stuff). They do this to make sure the person is safe, not a threat, not someone to fear, or someone who is after them; and also , to see if they share common interests.”

She started asking Why? Isn’t it boring? Here’s his first excellent explanation:

“Why? We have been trained not to trust. Think of all the messages you hear. For example: ‘You let him into your house? You told him what? You let him do what? You gave him money? He is just going to buy drugs with it . . . The fact is, people basically don’t trust other people.”

He's right, isn't he?

It’s long, it’s full, it’s funny, it’s informative and great reading for anyone who questions how they view the world and whether or not they ‘belong’ in society. She takes us everywhere with her—home, school, university, boyfriends, hospital—and she keeps herself and us safe.

Highly recommended for anyone interested in learning about Aspergers.

Great thanks to Booklover Catlady Publicity for a copy for review, and many thanks to the author for sharing her story and continuing to do so on her blog, Everyday Aspie!


The old blog is https://everydayaspergers.com/
Profile Image for Christine Busuttil.
291 reviews3 followers
August 30, 2016
This was a very interesting but tough book to read.It was compiled from a blog therefore it is made up of a mix of childhood memories,poetry ,and very deep inner thoughts ,which for me was the difficult bit.

I have worked with many young children who were diagnosed as being within the Autistic Spectrum and noticed only one of them was a girl.

This book bought home to me how very different females within the spectrum are in their thinking and I thank Samantha for her openness and honesty in conveying this to the reader so directly in her writing.
Profile Image for Andy Carlisle.
22 reviews6 followers
July 16, 2016
After many years in the making, Everyday Aspergers is here at last! :) Sam offers a sensitive, in-depth look of women and autism/Aspergers from a personal viewpoint. If you know anyone on the spectrum, love anyone on the spectrum, work with someone on the spectrum, or just want to get a better understanding, this is DEFINITELY a book worth reading!
Profile Image for Misfits farm.
1,731 reviews52 followers
September 26, 2016
This is not your everyday read. It is a very honest, open touching one. I thought for me it might give the world of Aspergers from a personal rather than medical view. It is a journal and ramblings rather than a detailed explanation (although it does you give some) from Sam’s viewpoint. Sam has put into words her world and the thoughts in her head as well as how she see and deals with the various situations she finds herself in (and one of her sons). “LV” (Little voice) is the voice in her head and “Sir Brain” the “tooth picked legged brain” are part of her everyday life. This is a specialist read that I think would be appreciated by anyone in close proximity to an “Aspie”. Early on the “116 reasons I am an Aspie” are interesting and I have to confess I smiled at some- “I have 120 flaws- would you like me to list them?” There are explanations of “when I do not feel comfortable in my body” explaining that it is all Sam can do to function and perform daily tasks. This could be a useful tool for anyone wanting to see the other side of the coin so to speak from a non- medical but expert opinion. How someone sees, feels, processes and assimilates information in a slightly different way from the rest of the “normal” populous. A well written and thought provoking read- a brave insightful piece.
I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an open and honest review
Profile Image for Julia Stephenson.
Author 2 books
December 3, 2017
Autism: Pros and Cons

Samantha Craft gives a readers a glance into her everyday life with autism. She mentions some pros such as intelligence, and memory, but she outweighed the pros with cons. The cons Craft also points out cons such as D
Depression, anxiety, loneliness, naivete emotions and embarrassment. She seems to blame autism on why she seems miserable,
She even mentions that she wished there was a cure for it. Autism does not cause depression or anxiety. Those disorders are separate from autism. They are comorbid, but it depends on the experiences of someone on the spectrum.
Profile Image for Chris Carlisle.
20 reviews
July 24, 2016
Written by an autistic female, I recommend Everyday Aspergers as a MUST-READ. Samantha Craft's compassion, kindness, and insightfulness shine through her writing--some parts making me laugh; others making me cry. For anyone who is on the spectrum, and for those who seek further understanding of girls/women on the spectrum, this publication offers valuable insights about Aspergers, what it is/means to be Aspie.
2 reviews1 follower
July 29, 2016
Samantha Craft paints an incredible picture for her readers; showing the innocence, pain, humor, complexity, and beauty that comes with being an Asperger. If you're on the spectrum, have a loved one on the spectrum, work with someone on the spectrum, or know someone on the spectrum (and even it you don't!!)...you absolutely need to read this book!
Profile Image for KA.
877 reviews
October 24, 2018
Here's the thing. When you turn something into a book, you're supposed to edit it so it IS a book. Just printing your blogs posts without revision isn't a book.

Saved from 1-star status by having a couple really good chapters (but I'd still rather have read them online for free).
Profile Image for kat.
558 reviews89 followers
December 17, 2016
Meh. This had a couple of interesting entries, but for the most part it's just reading the Livejournal of someone you don't know (which, since it's a collection of blog posts, is pretty much exactly what it is). She seems nice enough but most of the entries are both deeply personal and lacking all context. For the most part, she doesn't talk about Asperger's at all, or when she does she over-generalizes to say that all "females" with Asperger's are exactly like her, even down to having "soulful" eyes. Plus there's a bunch of bad poetry about God or whatever? I'm glad that her blog helped her in her journey of self-discovery but it didn't have much to offer me.
Profile Image for Ky.
1 review1 follower
October 2, 2016
After Following Her Blog for the Last Few Years and Really Loving it & Getting it. It made me realise that i really related to it. This book is a Wealth of Information for Girls or Women ,who were Misdiagnosed in the late 80s or 90's. Also Gives a Personal Side on what Life is like as a Women & a Girl with Autism/Aspergers. I really relate to alot of the Symptoms. It fits the Missing Puzzle to my Life.
Its a Well worth Reading. Its the sort of book you can go back too. I would recommend it totally.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
3 reviews
September 6, 2016
Fantastic book that I, as an Autistic female, could wholeheartedly relate to. I hope more Autistic females follow Sam's lead and get their stories out there. For non-Autistics it is a great insight into female Autism, if you have a daughter, sister, other relative, friend with Autism it's definitely worth reading.
Profile Image for DebsD.
608 reviews
April 19, 2018
I've tried to read this twice, and dnf'd it twice. I suspect that it might be okay as a series of blog-posts, but as a book, it just doesn't stand up. The writing is immature and irritating and there is nothing profound here. There is an occasional insight but far too much generalisation about AS to make this a useful read for anyone wanting a better understanding.
1 review
November 18, 2016
I have never written a review before because people have different tastes and views, but this book made my teenager daughter very insecure (she is now convinced that she is weird).
While there are some obvious truths in it, I don't think we should represent "aspies" like the author did. Certain things have to be kept private.
PS: As I said, my daughter is an aspie, and so am I.
Profile Image for Warren Mayocchi.
Author 1 book15 followers
March 25, 2017
How does one open a book when it is not a book? E-"books" are convenient irritations. Percentage complete remains unchanging after reading several pages, neither can progress be measured well by a bookmark set in place by a reluctant hand. But if that is what it takes, then so be it. I'll pretend to open it and read as though it were a book, it is difficult to deal with, this weightless distraction called Everyday Aspergers. And it was written by an imaginary person, channeled through a real person whose real name begins with M, (I know because the name is spelled out in chapter one hundred and fifty), can this writing really exist if the person who wrote it does not?

I have been told I have a word quota. It is low and is exhausted quickly. It means I tend to go quiet regularly when the word supply runs out. It also means I need to be efficient in my communication. Samantha Craft writes in a way which in many respects could be considered the opposite of the way I talk. A non-person overflowing with creatively decorated words.

Interlude: reading. A patchwork jumble of word pictures presented through a kaleidoscope passes before my eyes. A trip to the hospital, contemplation of feminine aspergers (it does not seem so different), a poetic moment, and so it goes. These flashes of life could be experienced in any order, there is no sequence. Wait. A series of vignettes at age 14, with some consistent characters at last - Mother and Ben - these alone might be better read in sequence.

Wandering through the gallery of words the impressionists are on display. This one is more detailed, that one less so, have I wandered in too far, is that one abstract? And that? This is one is definitely surreal. Perhaps I have wandered into someone's dream journal? Surely not mine, but some of it has the familiar feeling leading to recognition. Running upward I reach the balcony and look down with blurred eyes. Perhaps there is something coherent to this display. If I squint a blurry whole can be made out of this collage. Indistinct in this view, too microscopic up close. Nothing in-between, but isn't that part of the point, and it just might work well for the ones who are not the ones who cannot see it.
Profile Image for Sharon C. Robideaux.
163 reviews1 follower
December 21, 2021
Three books in one

One of the 3 books that Craft's book contains is an extremely interesting biography of a neglected child who somehow survives abuse of several types, including sexual. Her mother appears to have been apathetic, self-centered, and a total mess of a parent. Her father seemed lost in his own world. Craft endured step-parents who ranged from unkind to criminal.

Another of the books is abstract confessional New Age drivel. These segments were easily skippable and added nothing to the overall presentation except mediocre poetry and unreadable self- analysis.

The third part of the book was the part I purchased the whole text for, information about women with Aspergers. It was clear, factual, helpful, interesting, and useful. Unfortunately, these three books are swirled together in a sweaty tangle. Readers have to read a couple of sentences of each segment to find out which of the three books it belongs to.

A good editor should have stepped in and told Craft that even Herman Melville should have been monitored with Moby Dick, another mishmash of a work.
June 30, 2018
This book was amazing. I related to so many things. It made me laugh at times and feel so many emotions. I took a while reading it as It took me off on tangents from my own life.
I particularly love 116 reasons I know I have Aspergers Syndrome.
I’m going right back to the beginning and reading this again.
Absolutely loved this book. 💜
Profile Image for Daneosaur.
167 reviews4 followers
January 3, 2021
I wanted to like this book more than I did. Reading how the author looks at the world and experiences things was interesting, and it’s always helpful for my aspie brain to connect with others’ stories... but (I feel awful saying this but I wish I had been warned), the poetry and prose was mind-numbing. I eventually started skipping those pages.
4 reviews
October 5, 2022
It was a unedited book of ramblings, litterally like someones jottings in a dairy. There was a fair bit of poetry too. I dont enjoy poetry. I didnt find it particularly informative either and drages on for too long. Not very relatable to me either. Her being a hyperchondriac reminds me of my mum though. Probably should have just stayed as her blog
Profile Image for Paul Johnson.
17 reviews
January 23, 2019
I'm humbled by the author's honesty. The reflective, funny and heartfelt way Samantha Craft looks at the world is a joy to read. It's a very long book, but each 'chapter' tends to be a short entry so it is very easy to dip in and out of when the mood takes, or the kettle is boiling.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
65 reviews
October 30, 2017
So insightful. I love all of her writings, and this was a beautiful way to express such complex emotions that female aspies experience.
2 reviews
January 12, 2022
Factual, funny, informative, sad and lovely book to read. I found myself completely lost in it and I could completely relate to her. It was a real page turner and I highly recommend it.
13 reviews
January 5, 2021
I found this book to be very frustrating and annoying. As someone with personal experience in the subject matter, I found the author to stray and incorporate experiences unrelated to ASD in her blog revolving around ASD. I couldn’t get through the book.
Profile Image for Daniel L..
249 reviews11 followers
November 20, 2016
Living with “Everyday Asperger’s”

A little girl, a free spirit, loved to spend hours absorbed in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. She saw herself as a caterpillar, “set free upon endless green, nibbling at the gifts before her.” That is, “until the rain came.” Caterpillar became Butterfly, lovely and able to reach great heights. However, as she did so, her world became both smaller and larger. Everything was unfamiliar and ever-changing. With all that was good, also came evils Caterpillar had never known. Yet she was able to see “Caterpillar Land,” and realized that “butterflies don’t have to let go of the caterpillar to fly.”

In the same manner, Samantha Craft goes between adulthood and childhood, relating each one to the other. The challenges of Butterfly are those of an autistic woman on the higher end of the spectrum – Asperger’s. Craft offers 150 vignettes of “everyday Asperger’s,” providing an insight into living with – and ultimately accepting – the condition. Though most of the time, Craft speaks as Butterfly, in some of the pieces, she ventures into memories of her childhood and teen years, when she was Caterpillar. These vignettes are not in chronological order. I fact, at times they seem random, a reflection of the thought process of someone with ADHD, a condition that often accompanies autism. Yet, everything is held together by the book’s theme of describing life with “Everyday Apserger’s.”

Early on, Craft refers to herself as “an autistic woman” and “an Aspie,” not “a woman with autism” or “a woman with Asperger’s.” These conditions are not something she has; they are who she is. This is the essence of the neurodiversity movement, as described by Craft’s colleague, Steve Silberman, in his groundbreaking book, NeuroTribes.

Craft writes with a spirit of humor and warmth, both of which are present even in her darkest moments. Craft earned respect and gained a following with her essay, “Ten Traits (Females with Aspergers,” which is included here. Since then, more and more women (and men) with Aspergers have recognized themselves, identifying with Crafts adventures and misadventures, and Everyday Aspergers is the product of ten years of such essays. “This journey is all about my identity,” says Craft. “I’m trying to figure out how Asperger’s defines who I am as an individual.” This early essay sets the tone for such questions as what role she would like to play, as an alien dropped down from “Planet Aspie” to a world in which they people’s are wired differently. Or is she different? Most likely, in keeping with the theme of neurodiversity, we are all different. That said, Craft still acknowledges the importance of people with Asperger’s in recognizing when they commit social faux pas and how to best adapt to society at large and find peace within themselves.
Profile Image for Jennifer Lavoie.
Author 4 books59 followers
January 1, 2017
I think I highlighted half of this book. It's so well written, and reading it was like reading my own life for most of the time. I would say that I particularly enjoyed the traits Craft lists for women with Aspergers. I found it so nearly identical to who I am as a person, that I immediately shared it with friends and family.

After my diagnosis at 31, I was getting a lot of people telling me I must be mistaken or that it couldn't be. I've recommended this book to many of them. Furthermore, after sharing a post from Craft on Facebook that has information in this book, it got many of my friends and family to see yes, this really is me, and it has been all along. This book has been a tremendous help. I read the ebook copy, but I would like to soon get a print copy to loan to people as well.

An absolute must read.
Profile Image for Maria.
32 reviews1 follower
September 14, 2016
This was a pleasure to read! You can't help but feel all of the emotions along with the Author as she tells her story. I love the style it was written; it is a myriad of times and places, sifting through snippets of memory, raw tales of her life, beautiful prose and profound philosophy all are found within the pages. I like this style as this is how my mind works, not in a linear fashion, but through connected points which weave through into new areas with the turn of a key phrase or thought. I will no doubt reread my copy again and again and I encourage you to get a copy for yourself. But be sure to have a box of tissue nearby, for both tears of laughter as well as empathy.
Profile Image for Suzanne.
335 reviews24 followers
April 27, 2023
Ik las dit boek in januari 2022 maar schreef nooit een review. Ik meen me te herinneren dat ik het een aardig boek vond, met korte hoofdstukken over verschillende onderwerpen (een soort blog-collectie), maar geen favoriet. Ik geloof dat niet alle hoofdstukken me aanspraken. Inmiddels heb ik het boek verkocht.
Profile Image for Tiah.
Author 10 books69 followers
July 17, 2018
Highlighted so much I don’t know where to begin.
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