It's All Greek to Me!: Ruins, Retsina, a Mad Dog... and an Englishman

by John Mole

Intoxicated with dreams of a Greek paradise, John Mole inflicts upon his family a tumbledown ruin on a hillside with no water, no electricity, no roof, no floor, no doors, no windows and twenty years of goat dung... far away from the tourist resorts and posh hotels.

Through hard work and comic misadventures a bond is formed with a vivid cast of village characters from Elpida who cures back pain with raw eggs to beautiful Eleni yearning for Düsseldorf over bottles of ouzo, whisky and wine.

If only Hector the dog would calm down.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Greece, Memoir, Biography, Ebooks, Biography Memoir

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

After graduating from Oxford University with a degree in French and German and with an MBA from the INSEAD business school in France, John Mole spent fifteen years criss-crossing Europe and the Middle East for an American bank. He was based in the USA, London and Greece. He restored an old stone house on the island of Evia, which the family goes back to every year.

His fortieth birthday present to himself was to quit salaried employment. The main reason was to write full time. He reviewed the modern French novel and science fiction for the TLS. Published works include three comic novels - Sail or Return, The Monogamist, Thanks, Eddie! - and the best-selling guide to European cultures Mind Your Manners, currently available in twenty languages. Management Mole was about going back as a temp in the back offices of the kind of organisation he used to manage.

Meanwhile he tried his hand at various entrepreneurial ventures. An attempt to establish a franchised chain of baked potato restaurants in Moscow came to an end when the Russian Mafia became interested. He had more success with INBIO Ltd, which imported Russian biotechnology for environmental protection and with a project to control the spread of water weed on Tanzania's Lake Victoria. These ventures resulted in books such as It's All Greek To Me! and I was a Potato Oligarch.

He loves to travel, especially around the Mediterranean and the Middle East. Journeys have inspired The Sultan's Organ and The Hero of Negropont.

When not at the laptop he sings and plays the baglama, a miniature bouzouki, with a Greek band in London.

Reviews

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really enjoyable book and one that I shall doubtlessly – before too long – add to the mere handfull of books that I've read more than once. I've been travelling to Greece for some 11 or 12 years and John Mole's tale of building a life for himself and his family on the island of Evia is rich in both familiarity and self-deprecating humour, as well as giving the answers to all sorts of little questions about Greek life that I've pondered for ages. Highly recommended.

[Mariann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tundub, et kaugeim paik, kus ma käinud olen on Kreeka, niisiis sai see lugemise väljakutse punkt täidetud. Soovituse sain Facebooki grupist ja olen väga rahul. Raamat oleks võinud kirja minna ka kui pööraselt naljakas, sest pean möönma, et kõige lustakamad on lood ikka tõestisündinud.

John Mole on oma rahvusvahelise karjääri tõttu maailmas palju ringi rännanud, kuid südamesse jäi tal Kreeka. Hetke (ja alkoholi) ajel ostis ta ühelt külamehelt varemetes maja mahajäetud külas ning asus seda üles vuntsima. Vaja oli minema vedada tohutu hulk kitsesõnnikut, ära vahetada katus, teha uued põrandad, aknad, uksed. Töö oli üsna kontimurdev, kuid mees ise oli rahul. Ainult kõik teised: naine-lapsed-kohalikud vangutasid pead. Johni maja asus vanas külas, millest mäge mööda allpool asus uus, kus inimesed elasid moodsates betoonkuubikutes, aga siiski ehedat kreeka külaelu. Selgelt tulevad välja kõik kultuurilised erinevused, alates igapäevategemistest kuni toidu-joogikultuurini välja.

Ütleksin, et tegu on silmiavava raamatuga, mis olenemata oma koomilisusest teeb ka veidi kurvaks, sest kirjeldatud külaelu on ilmselt hääbumas. Kaovad meistrimehed, kes tegid katusekive, vanakesed, kes vitsaga kaevukohta otsisid, müüriladujad, puidutöölised, karjaajajad. Maalt kolitakse ära ja alles jäävadki varemed, mida hinnata oskavad John Mole sugused välismaalased, kes oma unistusi taga ajavad ning ebamugavustest ei hooli. Autori Kreeka-armastus paistab välja igast peatükist. Oma enda memuaaridele lisaks jagab ta heldelt ka ajaloolisi fakte.

"Elu nagu kreeka ε" innustab igati oma soovide poole püüdlema. Unistus maalilisest majast Kreeka saarel on tavaline, kuid viis kuidas John Mole selleni jõuab, ei kuulu küll kellegi fantaasiamaailma. Tegelikult läheb rada iga soovi juurde üle kändude ja küngaste ning näha kõike läbi huumoriprisma, nagu autor seda raamatus kujutada suudab, on imetlusväärne. Soovitan lugeda kõigil, kellel ellu huumorit juurde vaja ja ka neil, kes lihtsalt Kreekast vaimustuvad.

[Krisela Kotonika · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Look. What do you think?'
'Very nice' I replied in English, which was a waste of irony. Ajax dug into his own English vocabulary.
'Very naice. Spessial.'

I struggled for my Greek. 'Why not to live here still?'
'Bah. We are Europian now.'
The place was a ruin. It would need months of work. There was no mains water, no electricity, no telephone. Where would I plug in the typewriter?

'Walls not white. Roof kaputt. Shutters broken.'
'That's nothing. A month's work and you can move in.'

'Soon I go back to England.'
'Take a piece of Greece with you, here in your heart.' His free hand slapped the wallet pocket of my Marks and Spencer's linen jacket. 'And leave a piece of yourself here in Greece. You're a foreigner, you know things. I am a simple man, but I know you will not be sorry.'
'I have no money. How can I buy?'
'Who cares about money? Your are my friend.'
You are my friend. Nobody had said that to me since I left primary school.
'Vairy chip. Vairy chip.'
'I said I have little money.'
'How much do you have?'
'Not enough.'
'How much?'
'Two hundred thousand.'
'OK, I accept your offer. You strike a hard bargain, Johnny.'

That's how it all started. Mole tells the story of buying and reconstructing an old village house on a Greek island through a lot of funny stories, describing many interesting characters, in the great landscape of Greece, between the olive trees, under the shiny sun, next to the blue, quiet sea. It's the perfect book to bring on your holidays, or to get you in the holiday mood on a rainy day.

p.s. If you enter the small touristic shops in Greece, you can still find old shopkeepers saying the goods are on "spessial" price, just for you :)

[Mes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating ul ar fi intre 3 si 4. Citita la distanta de ceva ani dupa Evia de Sarah Wheeler, aduce niste lumini in plus. Desi cotata ca fiind o carte cu accente de comedie, mie mi-a lasat un gust dulce-amarui, desi m-am amuzat la anumite pasaje. Incearca sa sparga cliseele despre Grecia si greci, mai ales din perspectiva culturala british. Daca Sarah Wheeler aduce perspectiva unui calator in Evia, Mole locuieste acolo si devine, cu timpul, localnic, nu doar proprietar de casa. Parca acum inteleg mai bine melanjul din insule si de ce aerul mediteranean pare ca iti modeleaza neuronii intr-un fel aparte. Istoria Eviei (cel putin) merita cercetata mai mult.

[Gerrit Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a very funny story about an English family that dreams of a Greek home. Starting with a ruin with dungheap and all the problems of finding the right contacts to restore the house, getting the permits to do so, it devellops into a prolonged enterprise. The differences in language and culture are painted in a hillarious way and the difficulties are borne with optimism and humor.

[Penny Cipolone · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this story about taking a ruined house in Greece and converting it to one worth living in. Good picture of the village characters that he worked with.

[Tess Alexander · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent depiction of how siblings and children react to the world and each other while exploring. A fun read while traveling through Greece

[Ala · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book for all the positive reviews, expecting it to be a great, hilarious read. Overall, it is a fairly quick one to read and rather enjoyable, with an all-British sense of humour, although not as funny as I'd hoped. How John Mole's marriage and family survived this experience is amazing ... even questionable at times, which makes me believe the whole thing was highly glamourized. I wouldn't recommend it to people of Greek descent and/or who actually know Greece. My mum is Greek and freaked out at some things written in this book, for example what is said about kalikantzari and vampires, which is completely false.

[Danuta Łapkiewicz-Baudis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just returned from a very enjoyable vacation! This book took me back home, back to one of my homelands, always remaining so very close to my heart. Felt the sun, heard τζιτζίκια (cicadas), tasted feta, olives, sipped ouzo and retsina and devoured souvlakia and κοκορέτσι. So my rating might be bias but it is a great story filled with funny and more serious stories, all of them full of laughter. Very enjoyable and easy read with some profoundly accurate observations: “One of the first lessons of life in Greece is that everything is difficult and nothing is impossible.”

[Shirley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since I lived in Crete for a couple of years in the early 1970's, I could relate to the author's love of Greece and I could understand the complexity of working and living across cultures. I did not give this delightful story a higher score because Mr. Mole insisted on constantly identifying the local characters with adjectives. Perhaps this is part of his humorous style of writing, but after a few chapters, I found it a bit annoying.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light hearted book about John and his family living in Greece.

He finds a ruined property that he decides to buy without consulting his wife! Or four children and this book is about the way that he repaired, renovated and rebuilt this with the help of the locals.

Mole writes with a witty self depreciating style, and it is quite funny in parts.

[Kakia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was such a funny book! I read it cover to cover not only because it had to do with my native land, but also because the writer had such a skill of describing in such a funny way his relationship with his wife.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I thought: "Oh no - another Brit expat on the Continent!" However, it was soon clear that Mole has a great sense of humor and a lot of stories to tell - definitely recommended!

[Demetrelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply hilarious but also managing to portray accurately and vividly the Greek countryside of the years between 1970 and 1980.

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not get past the sexist language that Mole used to describe Greek women, and his condescending tone towards the Greeks and their culture.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is really more of a 2.5, but since I finished it I rounded up. At times this book was funny, and at others it was a welcome escape from the rain drenched spring of the PNE into the sunny shores of a small Greek island, and as such I wish I could have said I liked it better than I did. However, I found the author to be arrogant, and at times condescending. The way he writes about the Greek people is often more than a bit disrespectful, and I am not just referring to the way he writes about their culture, but also the way he physically describes them. Sad thing is this. Oil had so much potential, but in the end was only pretty good. (Good enough to finish but not good enough to really like.)

[Bethany Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

As we prepare to travel again (and one day travel extensively or move abroad) we’re doing a lot of reading about different countries, taking language classes (καλημέρα!), and discussing what life is like in different parts of the world. This was a fun book written by a British man from his family’s home renovation (that’s putting it nicely) in Greece. They want a house “in the old style” and of course nothing goes as planned. But isn’t that life? Dealing with the unplanned is what we do every day (hello pandemic). So yes, if you have wanderlust, read this book.

#reading #books #bookstagram #greece #travel #renovation #countryside

[Lindsay Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've just finished reading this while travelling Greece. It is wonderfully evocative of the time I first started visiting Greece, a Greece that is getting harder to find now. Parts were wonderfully and hilariously familiar, other parts were informative or solved a few mysteries for me. It is an easy read, ideal for holidays and very honestly written. In places it is surprisingly funny and had me chortling out loud on a ferry! I would have loved a few photos, in addition to the small ones on the back cover. Highly recommended, especially to those with an interest in Greece or travel writing.

[ELDEE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Travel/memoir books are among my all time favorites. Does anyone have any to recommend?
It isn't always feasible for one to travel but I get out my maps and a large clear space on a table with my book and away I go.
John Mole keeps you chuckling through the escapades of his family. Now if I could bring home the smells, sounds, and culture AS WELL AS the FOOD of course, I'd be all set. READ THIS BOOK WITH ENJOYMENT!!

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book in a book store on Paros island, Greece, while on holiday. What a find! The tale of a city slicker English family trying to restore a rambling Greek house (read ruin) in rural Greece is laugh out loud funny. From negotiating with Greek contractors to mucking out two decades of goat manure, John and his family endure many adventures on the road to having a house in the country. I really enjoyed this!

[Laura Alderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed reading this while on holiday in mainland Greece. It was set mainly in the 70s , I guess but it wasn't made completely clear. However it was the Greece of the Drachma, before large scale tourism, in a slower more traditional time. It was funny, especially when writing about his children, and I loved his descriptions of rural life. He seemed to be slightly poking fun at the villagers which grated a bit and I hope life for women has improved!

[Signe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kui Kreeka huvitab, siis pigem ikka asjakohane lugemine, aga üldjoontes minu jaoks liiga negatiivsele keskenduv. Liiga suur rõhk sellel, kuidas ikka välismaalast üle lasti ja mis kõik kehvasti on. Ei tulnudki nii selgelt välja, miks sinna Kreekasse üldse koliti. Lastel oli tore, aga täiskasvanutest ei saanudki aru. Ootasin rohkemat.

[Kostas Sarlis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greek born and raised here and I found it very enjoyable and to the point. And what impressed me most is how the author manages to include all those elements that lead to the actual word "horiatis" being used as an insult in Greek while at the same time maintain a positive attitude towards his neighbours.

[Tony F · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this while on Kos during the pandemic. (I read a LOT of books then and this was my favourite).
I grew up in Cyprus so can relate to the Greek way of life and can see a lot of truth in his depictions of Greek culture and attitudes. The purchasing of the field storyline had me guffawing loudly for quite some time. One of the funniest things I've read in years. Thanks Toad.

[Diane in Australia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the author's style. He made me laugh, and I read bits aloud to hubby. He's an Englishman who moves to an old, stone house on the island of Evia, Greece ... with a wife and four children ... and restores it. I liked hearing about their interactions with the locals, and bits of Grecian culture.

4 Stars = Very good. I enjoyed it.

[Lynn Ogryzlo · Rating 5 out of 5]

You need to have a sense of humour for an outsider to experience Greece because it's a country filled with passionate people living a tradition that is foreign to anyone outside the country. If you've ever been to Greece, you can believe every word of this light hearted book. So funny and so warm hearted. Loved this book.

[bookinglibrarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderfully entertaining account of a British family in Greece and the father's adventures in restoring an old house with the advice and assistance of a colorful cast of Greek neighbors. It should be in the expat travel pantheon of Peter Mayle and Frances Mayes (but even funnier.)

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, mainly because it reminded me of when I first came to Greece in 1966 and that's how things were ! It brought back many memories, loved the story about the dog ! Would recommend it to anyone interested in life in Greece for that period 1970's!

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about an English family that decides to renovate an old house on an island in Greece. (Similar to Peter Mayle - in France). The writing is informative, education and hilarious. Highly recommend.

[Lyndi Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyable and laugh-out-loud funny story. The British author builds a family home in the ruins of an island's old village, in the early 70s. His 4 young children provide comedy. Town characters provide their old world point of view. His