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Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges

4.41  ·  Rating details ·  239 ratings  ·  34 reviews
Listen introduces parents to five simple, practical skills even the most harried parent can use. These tools will help parents strengthen their connection with their child and help build their child's intelligence, cooperation, and ability to learn as they grow. The book delivers detailed information accompanied by more than one hundred real-life stories from parents who'v ...more
Paperback, 356 pages
Published August 23rd 2016 by Hand in Hand Parenting (first published August 2016)
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Average rating 4.41  · 
Rating details
 ·  239 ratings  ·  34 reviews

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Mar 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Similar strategies to other peaceful/positive parenting guides out there (special time, setting limits, listening, connection as key) and for that alone I’d consider this more a 4 star. However, the (MANY) examples given felt super Pollyanna at times (“and then it all got better after that one big time!”) which got annoying. Really had to skim past the multiple references to “maybe your child’s -difficult labor/birth/separation in the hospital as an infant- is the root of your child’s fear of __ ...more
Aug 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This book is everything I was hoping it would be. I've wanted to see one resource that held all the foundations of Patty Wipfler's unique way of looking at the relationship between parents and their children, and this is it. Clear, warm, and highly readable "Listen" shares dozens and dozens of real-life examples of how to how parents around the world are using these simple tools to transform their experience of parenting and the relationships that are possible with their children, no matter what ...more
Rachel Barclay
Jul 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
It's been two weeks since implementing the tools in this book and I have seen a wonderful change in my 3.5 year old. Her mood, confidence, and ability to transition has been wonderful - and when there are bumps in the road we have clear tools to deal with it. We were already gentle/respectful parents, but looking back after reading this book, I see that we were disorganized and were not being consistent and clear for her sake. With these tools we are much more organized and capable. ...more
Jan 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Took me reading this a second time around years later after a lot of my own inner work to be able to really see and feel the deep truth in this book. The multitude of stories of using Hand in Hand parenting tools really help you hone in on how emotionally intelligent, emotionally regulated, emotionally connected and empathetic parenting feels. This one is a keeper in my collection of self-help/parenting books.
Oct 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
I’ve read a lot of Hand in Hand articles and blog posts in the past, but having it all put together in a book was so helpful. The ideas about crying as a release instead trying to stop it as quickly as possible is interesting food for thought.
Aug 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Such a wonderful collection of easy, practical, flexible tools for parents. The stories and examples offered for each of the tools give the real world applications. SO HELPFUL!
Feb 04, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
If you follow my reviews, you probably know that I read a LOT of parenting books. The philosophies and strategies they present have had varying levels of helpfulness in my own parenting. This one, though, is the first one that has had a huge, immediate impact on our family. My frustrations with other books have often boiled down to their assumptions that parents don't bother to take the time to ask kids why they're acting out and move straight to punishing them. However, it's abundantly clear th ...more
Jennifer Ridgway
Oct 14, 2016 rated it really liked it
This review originally appeared on Brightly

Patty Wipfler is the founder of Hand-in-Hand Parenting, an organization focused on building the parent-child connection through authoritative parenting, or parenting with a lot of love and warmth but also reasonable limits and expectations. In Listen, her first book, co-written with Tosha Schore, she lays out five tools to help parents through the many challenges, big and small, that we face on a daily (sometimes hourly!) basis. The title of the book pl
Elaine Abrol
Jun 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: wellbeing
A helpful book with some very interesting ideas. The concepts of 'staylistening' and 'playlistening' are vitally important for parents. Although I did not agree with every single idea I found the over-arching theme to be spot on and the authors do state that each of us will find what works best for our own children. This book was recommended to me for what we Schema Therapists do by way of 'limited reparenting' of adults who have not had their developmental needs met and fits very well with list ...more
Becky Rowe
Jul 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
One of my parenting manuals. No shame. The author lists several attempts at parenting that failed miserably and gives you concrete steps for any lifestyle on how to parent through connection. I "read" listen in audiobook which made it even more powerful to hear Patty's intonations. I listened in small increments with my children in the car. It gave them an idea of what to expect and we could discuss what we thought. A must read if you are looking to change the world you see around you. It starts ...more
Dec 31, 2019 rated it really liked it
The opening chapter made me cry and feel so acknowledged. I love the tools, and the listening partnership has been hugely beneficial for me (and I’ve only been doing it for a month!). That said, I do think the tone of the parent anecdotes sometimes veers into smug, and some of them made me raise an eyebrow (enough that I hesitate to recommend the book to a friend who might already wonder if this approach to parenting is too “out there”). And the book claims to speak for a diverse population of p ...more
Dori Jaffe
Apr 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A vitally important book about childrearing - based on an understanding of interpersonal neurobiology. The function of emotions, rupture and repair, how to be with your child's emotions that respects their tenderness and takes into account both of your needs. Best chance to raise balanced, caring children. Also a good read for those adults who, damaged by attachment trauma, want to discover what a healthy adult/child relationship looks like. ...more
Heather Legge
Mar 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book has literally changed the way I parent...and for the better. I wish I had this when my girls were smaller but it has still be an absolute gift in their pre teenage years. Not only has it changed my relationship with my girls, but it has given me skills for interacting with people in daily life. The entire premise of the book is active listening, which I firmly believe is a skill that everyone needs to learn.
Oct 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting, favorites
Listen... and listen more... I am now on my second time listening to this book. I also had checked out the print version from the library, but found the audio version, read in the author’s kind, gentle voice, to be WAY more influential. The content is excellent. I was inspired to find a listening partner, and am so glad that I did. I highly recommend the audio version of this book to all parents.
Jul 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
To be accurate, I only had time to skim this before returning it to the library (too many books out at once!). The message is in line with other peaceful parenting books. I may prefer the whole-brain child books, but then again, I didn't read this one as in depth, so that probably isn't fair. I'm feeling burnt out on parenting books...probably should have stopped long ago. ...more
Nicole Wagner
Aug 27, 2018 rated it it was amazing
One of the best and most important parenting books in existence today. It produces absolute miracles.

Parenting is raising the person your child already is, and they are not blank slates. We must trust our children, and embody the emotional intelligence we wish them to learn.

Too, we ourselves are never 'done' growing up. We all need support and love throughout life.
Nov 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
Overall, the book's aims and its advice are superb. My only criticism is that it takes so long to get there. The examples are useful but the authors could have reduced the number of examples or kept them in an annex. However, I'd wish I'd read this book earlier in my parenting. So I'd recommend it and say to readers, it is slow but keep with it. It is worth it.
Jan 31, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This was given to me by another mom who said, "This book has changed the way I parent." Now that I've read it, I completely agree. It's easy to fall into the patterns of the way we were raised, but this book offers another choice. Building connection with our children, getting cooperation in playful ways (no more shouting, threats, or bribes), and getting support for yourself as a parent too. ...more
Sep 14, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: my-audiobooks
Special time is a great tool and concept. Listening partnerships for parents makes sense too. The book is redundant but filled with examples and stories which helps bring to life how to actually apply the principles set forth.
Jan 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing
The parenting philosophy in this book is totally aligned with so much of what I believe. The authors give clear tools to use, and the example stories are super helpful for seeing the concepts in action.
Ana Porumbaceanu
Jan 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Excellent parenting book. I totally recommend it.
Apr 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: adult, parenting
I'm a little skeptical but I'm going to try some of these tools with my youngest. We shall see. ...more
Natalie G
Jun 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I LOVE this parenting philosophy!!!
Dec 27, 2018 rated it liked it
An easy read with relatable stories, the focus on being a connected parent.
May 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Very helpful book! Outlines listening tools for parenting.
Rebecca K
Oct 16, 2020 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books I’ve ever read.
Alexandra M
Dec 02, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I will start by saying this book is not a recipe for success, however it helps you understand the emotional rollercoaster in which your child is at almost all stages. And it helps you, as a parent understand that you just have to be there for the ride... to support the child, but not get dragged into the rollercoaster with him. Easier said than done of course, but listening and connecting with your child will make the worst days just a little brighter. Embrace the crying and the haos, by being t ...more
Feb 24, 2021 rated it it was amazing
A more loving approach to parenting and discipline! I am already trying to implement these tools with my 15-month-old. I like that there is a support community.
Craig Appel
Aug 23, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I have been learning about Hand in Hand Parenting for over a year now, and I am thrilled to finally be able to have this book as a companion. The examples of parents overcoming real challenges with their children (the same ones I am having!) are deeply helpful and inspirational. I also appreciate the voice Patty and Tosha use—it is supportive and nonjudgmental. This is a tone missing from so many parenting books, and the only tone I can really respond to as a parent who is doing a pretty good jo ...more
Jacki Schaefer
Dec 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This book makes a lot of sense in the grand scheme of parenting. This isn't a book that teaches you how to "change" your child- it's more about modifying your own behaviors and understanding of how a child works and adjusting your own reactions to their needs.

It's definitely a struggle trying to implement the methods in the book- it requires a ton of patience and a partner who can get on board with the overall strategy. It seems like a long-game strategy. I am pleased with the progress we're ma
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