Zen and the Art of Vampires

Dark Ones #15 - Zorya Dark Ones 1

by Katie MacAlister

White picket fences can be dangerous to vampires. Sometimes a woman’s gotta choose…

Pia Thomason doesn’t have a typical life, but she wants one. The husband, the kids, the house in the suburbs… With her fortieth birthday looming, she decides to do something drastic, and takes off on a singles’ tour through romantic Europe.

But the few guys on the trip leave much to be desired—unlike the two men Pia sees in a small Icelandic town. Handsome, mysterious, and very dangerous… Just the sight of them puts her in a dither. When their paths cross again, Pia knows one thing for certain: Where vampires are concerned, love isn’t the only thing at stake.

Genres: Romance, Vampires, Paranormal, Paranormal Romance, Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Humor

332 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published December 2, 2008

About the author

For as long as she can remember, Katie MacAlister has loved reading. Growing up in a family where a weekly visit to the library was a given, Katie spent much of her time with her nose buried in a book. Despite her love for novels, she didn't think of writing them until she was contracted to write a non-fiction book about software. Since her editor refused to allow her to include either witty dialogue or love scenes in the software book, Katie swiftly resolved to switch to fiction, where she could indulge in world building, tormenting characters, and falling madly in love with all her heroes.

Two years after she started writing novels, Katie sold her first romance, Noble Intentions. More than thirty books followed during the years after Noble's publication. Her novels have been translated into numerous languages, been recorded as audiobooks, received several awards, and placed on the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestseller lists. She also writes for the young adult audience as Katie Maxwell, and for the mystery world as Kate Marsh.

Katie lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and dogs, and can often be found lurking around online.

Reviews

[D.L. Howe · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️
🌶🌶
🎧

Wow!

I loved this whole series but especially this duet and I can’t believe I’m saying this but DNF at 60%.

I don’t know if it’s the writing, the narrator or a mix of both but omg this is so frustrating and annoying.

I know for a fact that the narrator is god awful! She sounds like a nagging mother that insists on bugging you until you do what she wants to the nth degree.

Plus the steam lasts like 2 seconds and they’re vampires. Sad, just so very sad.

I had shit taste it seems.

[Wanda Pedersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This series is bonkers. The vampires or Dark Ones aren't as suave or competent as they are usually portrayed. The women are blithering idiots. The plot is ridiculous. And it's all quite entertaining.

Pia has never allowed herself to feel smart or confident. She has spent her adult life putting herself down because she isn't half of a couple. Society is hard on women who can't find or don't want a partner and Pia has internalized this judgement. Ironically, after several days dealing with Dark Ones, the Brotherhood of the Blessed Light, and a gaggle of ghosts, all while avoiding Icelandic law enforcement, Pia is able to claim her power. She knows what she wants to do and what she absolutely won't do and she has commitment to stick to her guns.

So, despite all the slapstick shenanigans, Pia comes out of her ruined European tour with more strength than before. Unlike previous books, this one is has a cliffhanger ending, so if you don't like waiting, make sure you have the next book teed up and ready to go!

[Gavin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a humorous and lighthearted PNR tale. Pia Thompson is on a singles trip around Europe when she becomes caught up in the battle between the Dark Ones (vampires) and the Brotherhood (a crazed cult). A case of mistaken identity finds her being mistaken as the new Zorya of the Brotherhood. Pia's new position gives her powers to see ghosts but also the responsibility to help them cross to Heaven. What ensues is a fun fast paced tale full of humor, action, mystery, and a tad of romance.

I loved the fact that it took a bit of time to figure out both who the romance lead guy was and even who the bad guys were. Pia was a likable character. Definitely not the typical romantic heroine. She was a bit insecure about her looks, but not in an annoying way.

I'm glad I knew before the end that this was only the first half of Pia's story or I would likely have been outraged by the cliffhanger ending. Pia's story concludes in Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang, which I will definitely be reading!

Rating: 3.5 stars.

Audio Note: Nicole Poole did a decent job. She had a wide array of accents and that was good since we had characters of varying nationalities.

[Julie (jjmachshev) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humpf! I've been a reader of Katie MacAlister's 'Dark Ones' series--a lighthearted take on vampires--since it began. These are some very sexy vamps, but they don't have most of the supernatural powers other writers have given to their vamps. They are pretty much a group of people like others, although extremely long-lived to be sure. Those without a soul are looking for their Beloved, the one woman who can return their soul to them...but most believe a Beloved is a lot like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus! MacAlister's books, of course, tell about finding Beloveds, and her latest "Zen and the Art of Vampires" was both fulfilling and frustrating in turn. The continuing story of the Dark Ones and their world is advanced, yet the main couple don't quite get their happy ever after...yet.

Pia is an overweight, almost forty year old who feels the need to do something drastic to find her dream of home and kids before it's too late. So she signs up for a 'romance tour' of Europe. When the tour hits Iceland, she's about fed up with the snarky, spiteful blonde who's one of her tour mates, so when the blonde dares her to approach two gorgeous hunks of Viking-sized maleness, she takes the dare...but chickens out and ducks into a book store where her life takes an unexpected, and at times unbelievable turn. Within forty-eight hours, she's slept with two men and is married to two men...and one of the men she's married to isn't one of the men she slept with! She's also found out about ghosts, vampires, and a deranged quasi-religious sect and the only ones who 'appear' to be on her side are the ghosts!

I like MacAlister's writing. I 'get' her humor and there's a lot of it in here. I also like the fact that her Dark Ones don't have miraculous powers (for the most part) and instead must rely on their extensive lives for the knowledge and wit to come out on top. (Pun fully intended there) My only beef is that now I'll have to wait to get the rest of Pia's story :(

[Terra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zen And The Art of Vampires is a fantastic paranormal cozy mystery with a dash of romance to enhance the flavor. Yumm!! Katie is at her best here again and can't wait for the next book.

Pia Thompson is on a man hunting vacation. She is taking a singles' tour through Europe in hopes for finding someone who will spark her fires. She not's the usual skinny pretty woman that any man would drool over but instead she is a plain jane and has some meat on her bones. At least there is enough of her for a man to grab a hold of and at least hang onto. She has a bit of bad luck and it seems to cling to her like a child clinging to its mother.

Pia is hoping for at least a one night stand with a handsome man but she gets more that what she has bargained for. Handsome men in Europe especially the tall dark and mysterious kind can get you into more trouble than trying to rob a bank. She soon spots two delectable mouthwatering specimens and her friend dares her to go up to them. She takes the dare and soon ends up on the ride of her life and in more trouble than a murderer. Trying to clear her name and get back somewhat of a normal life proves harder than she ever thought.

We end up going on a wonderfully funny trip through a small European community with vampires, ghosts, a fanatical religious group while trying to solve a murder. This book so reminded me of the game Clue and with all of it's who-done-its. A true delight for the paranormal lover and any cozy mystery lover. Actually fits into the romance category also with it's mouthwatering, delicious male vampires that are sure to make you wish you were in Pia's shoes. The author has given us everything in one tidy delicious story that will make you want to come back for more.

[Chessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

**spoiler alert!***
So I always like the Dark Ones books. They're funny, romantic, and STANDALONE. This one was funny, but not LOL funny as some have been in the past. The ghost interactions - yes; the love interest interactions, notsomuch.

So can I get a big WTF about Katie MacAlister and her semi-cliffhangers of late?! My mom absolutely forbid me to read Playing With Fire (Silver Dragons, #1) until the second one came out because It. Just. Ends. In the middle. AAAGGHH! Ok, so Zen doesn't end in the middle, but it certainly doesn't finish, either! And there's another book with the same characters coming out in May 2009? Have any of the other Dark Ones novels been continued this way? I was kind of excited for my HEA and then I got this totally frustrating ending. Blargh.

Don't get me wrong - I liked this book. I'm just aggravated by the ending.

And Magda seems a little iffy to me. When the whole Denise thing went down at the end I was sure Magda had been a red herring, but she seems like she could be the real Zenith big bad. But who knows. I won't, not until next g-damn spring!

[Leigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't say I liked this book much. I like Katie Mac and all, but I'm a little tired of her heroines obsessing about a few extra pounds for the ENTIRE book. Pia just came off as whiny and I didn't care much for her at all.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stayed awake all last night reading this book. Katie's books are always the perfect escape for me. I was supposed to be studying for a philosophy test, but, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....boring! So I opted for this instead. (btw, I aced the test anyway!)

As always, I was not disappointed. BUT, do you know what that little Katie went and did? She didn't wrap things up all nice and tidy at the end. She left me (and our heroine) wanting! There's a sequel that won't be out until May!!!!! How ever will I wait that long?!

Anyway, one thing's for sure, I really need to get me my own vampire(or a life - either will do)!

[Heather T · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ish.
I think most of this series just gets boring after a while since it seems to be rather repetative so I stopped reading it for a while. When I finally picked it up again it was because I needed a book that started with the letter Z for a challenge. This one is not great, but it stood out for me because it was different in some ways. Apparently the main character will be in the next story. I appreciate that the book ended the way it did because it took away a lot of the predictability factor. Although, I'm sure book 7 will end exactly as I expected it would happen in book 6. I'll actually give book 7 a try just because I'm happy the author switched things up a little bit.

[Eli Easton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Molly Harper, so when I saw this rec'd on facebook as being similar, I got the audiobook. I liked the story and writing overall, though the narrator was a bit whiny and grating. I particularly got into the storyline in the last 3rd of the book. The reason I'm giving it 3 stars instead of higher is because after 10 hours and 20 minutes of listening to the audiobook, I didn't get a resolution. This book ends without an HEA or even an HFN, with the H and h apart. There is a sequel for this couple that continues the story, but I HATE that!

I hate when books have no resolution, forcing you to either give up on the couple or buy the sequel. I was watching the countdown minutes on my audible recording, and as it got under 30 minutes then 20, I'm thinking do NOT do this to me. Do NOT end this book without an HEA. But, yeah, that's what it did. So ten+ hours invested in this story and I don't have closure. That's, like, five movies or more worth of time. I don't know why editors and authors do this. I have published a number of books with big houses and small from the early 00's on, and my editors always discouraged breaking a story into multiple books. Because it pisses readers off. Well, here's one pissed reader!

I sincerely wish there had been a warning that this was not a complete story. I would try this author again, because I really like paranormal humor, but only if I was sure the story was complete within the book.

[Carrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh. I don't have any idea what the title had to do with the content of the book, other than "vampires."

[David Go · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bummy ass worldbuilding. What is the deal with the brotherhood of light and the dark ones? BoL is chill; exists for a few thousand years guiding souls to heaven, but then in the 1500s they decide to start hunting vampires on the side when the vampires weren't doing shit? Is BoL racist? Why tf are the Dark Ones chill with being called the Dark Ones? They call themselves that too. Ridiculous. It's very unclear what anybody in BoL other than the Zorya does. Tbh the job doesn't seem that hard, but you're led to believe for most of the book that there's only one Zorya and she's the head of BoL, but then you find out that she has to answer to Zenith Denise and that Pia is just one of many regional Zoryas. What on God's flat earth?

There were only 3 sex scenes in 332 pages, and it was very difficult to self-insert (pun intended?) because Pia is a large woman, and I am not. Booooo. Someone should write horny books for runner guys in their early 20s.

[Desinka · Rating 5 out of 5]

First read and reread: 2012
Second reread: June 2014

This proves to be an all time time favourite. When I read this book for the first time, I thought it was the best PNR romance of all times. Since then I've read a good number of PNR romances but Pia and Kristoff are still one of my all time favourite couples. The story is light-hearted and fun and the outcome of the romance, though a bit predictable is quite sweet and touching.

Even though the story has its flaws and some of the happenings are plainly ridiculous, during this reread I was amazed to find out I felt the characters were very real and believable and their relationships were intriguing and fun. I loved the humour and the light tone of the story. The ghosts were a favourite part of the story for me:)

The story of Zen continues in Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang.

[Lori Whitwam · Rating 4 out of 5]

The latest in the series of the Dark Ones, and the women destined to be their Beloveds, the ones who can redeem their souls.
Pia is nearing 40, and on a singles tour of Europe. She is mistaken for the reaper (who can usher souls to the afterlife) of a strange religious group, then the real one is found dead in her bathroom, sending her on the run and straight into the arms of TWO Dark Ones, who are mortal enemies of this religious group.
She's the Beloved of one, but which?
Who can she trust?
And what is she supposed to do with all these ghosts she's collecting before she can help them go to the afterlife?
This is a "first of two" in Pia's story, so we're left wondering how she'll work things out with "her" vampire.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love all her books, they're funny, romantic, serious, mysterious, and sometimes suspenseful. This is a very quick read and has some good twists and turns. I have to say I wasn't all that impressed with the new plot themes, that of the Brotherhood, and the Ilargi, but overall it was definitely worth it.

[Megan (BookWifeReviews) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book. I hated the female MC. She was a freaking idiot. I mean seriously TSTL. And I HATE that for some reason this was split up into 2 books. Wtf? I hate that I have to read another book with Pia(sp?) as the narrator. GAH!!!!

[JazzRizz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book a lot, but the cliff hanger at the end is what prevented a 5-star rating. I was so frustrated at the end of this book . . . I can hardly wait for the next book to come out.

[Jean · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've enjoyed Katie's books, but the ditzy heroine who stumbles her way around is getting old. I skipped to the back and was annoyed to find that it continues into the next book.

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

i can't say how annoyed i was to reach the end of this book and find out that the story wasn't over. be warned, it's at least a two parter

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was awesome! Funny, sexy and interesting. Great read! I cannot wait to see what happens with Pia next!!

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was just okay up until chapter 4 then it took a turn toward the absurd and not in a good way. If a pair of guys tries to kidnap you, then when you escape and get back to your hotel room one of them was already there and naked it's not a good thing. If you ended up running away from these kidnappers and one shows up ready for sex because he felt a "connection" this is where you exit the room quickly and find help, not worry about your breath and whether or not he'll think you look fat. Pia, the main character that this happens to is just TSTL. She makes all kinds of bad decisions and never seems to have a plan. It's never clear who exactly she's supposed to end up with. Is it Kristoff? Is it Alec? Is it both? I quickly reached the point where I didn't care. When I found out the book doesn't really end but is to be continued that was enough for me. DNF

[Romance Novel TV · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zen and the Art of Vampires: 4.5 stars
Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang: 5 Stars
Reviewed by Stacey Agdern

In a climate where authorial desire for innovation and reader expectations have clashed in very notable ways, Katie MacAlister’s latest ‘Dark Ones’ novels stand out as examples of how best to deal with both concepts and come out with a home run.

No matter how many times people try to deny it, both authorial desire for innovation and reader expectations, are necessary and important parts of the author-reader relationship. Readers anticipate future volumes of long standing series as if they are old friends, and treat them accordingly. But if an author has written a large number of books in a series, they might, and sometimes do, get tired of the same patterns. So how are these two important principles to be reconciled? Or should they?

“Zen and the Art of Vampires” and “Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang” combine to tell the story of Pia Thomason, a 39 year old woman who, while on a singles tour of Europe, manages to involve herself with a religious cult, ghosts, and two Moravian Dark Ones.

Both books are filled with the elements that have made previous ‘Dark Ones’ novels so delicious. Snappy dialogue and wonderful description, all wrapped up in the first person narrative of a fallible heroine who’s difficulty in adjusting to the world she’s dealing with (and the dishy, well crafted, Dark Ones, who suddenly appear in her life), make it easier for the reader to empathize with her.


However, MacAlister has managed, with these two books, to fundamentally alter the format of the series. Up until now, the story of the Dark Ones has appeared in stand alone installments which give readers pieces of a broader world. Now, with ‘Zen and the Art of Vampires’ and ‘Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang’, MacAlister has chosen to insert a two book-mini series, telling a larger story in the world of the ‘Dark Ones’

As if to underscore the magnitude of the change, MacAlister makes an obvious covenant with her long term readers, by bringing back characters from some of the first books in her series. Christian Dante (who’s story came out back in 2004) as well as Sebastian, who had been a large part of the early books in the series (who’s story was part of a 2006 anthology) make appearances in both books, along with Christian’s beloved.

At the end of ‘Zen and the Art of Vampires’, in the teaser for ‘Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang’, readers get to see that the bond between Pia and Kristoff is still active, even though the two are not together at the end of ‘Zen.’ It is MacAlister’s way of making sure readers know that they shouldn’t give up

hope, even though the ending isn’t the happy ending they’d usually expect from a Dark Ones novel.

So what does this ‘Dark Ones Mini-Series’ tell us about reader expectation and authorial innovation? Stay true to the spirit of the series, tell a good story and readers will follow you anywhere. I certainly will follow Katie MacAlister to her next ‘Dark Ones’ book.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story arc continues into 'Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang' which is due out in May. The hero and heroine are mated but not together at the end of this book, which I find annoying. If I had realized, I would have simply waited for the next book and read them together - I don't deal with 'serialized' stuff well.

As for the portion of the story you do get - I happen to be reading some of Viehl's Darkyn books at the same time, so the parallels of frothing fanatics wanting to torture, maim and destroy a minority group 'for their own good' is obvious. Of course the parallels to the Inquisition are obvious as well. Overall I didn't think it was as 'fun' as some of her others in this series.

Dark Ones Series

1. A Girl's Guide to Vampires
2. Sex and the Single Vampire
3. Sex Lies and Vampires
4. Even Vampires Get the Blues
5. Just One Sip
6. The Last of the Red Hot Vampires
7. Zen and the Art of Vampires

8. Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang

[Katy-Del · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always liked the Dark Ones Novels. Katie puts in a lot of humor and there are often what I would refer to as a Lucy Situations (I have those occasionally and I relate to characters that do to.) But the books had all had a formulaic feel. (Heroine meets tall, gorgeous stranger, girl doesn't like or trust stranger, but is still deeply attracted, girl and stranger are plunged into peril and bond, fool around, discover girl is the Beloved who gives stranger his soul, couple lives happily ever after.)

This book has an arc more similar to her Dragon Novels (If you haven't read them, go read them now). There will be at least one more novel about this couple and I imagine more relating to larger, more mysterious events in this fiction universe. The end left me deffinately wanting more.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book and think I found a new series to catch up on. It's apparently a part of the Dark Ones series and the next one is due out in May. I can't wait as you are sort of left at a cliff hanger at the end of the book and I really want to know what happens. I kind of wonder if Magda is really who she says she is? Seems like she was too good to be true but you never know. Pia cracks me up and I can totally related to being the "big" girl and I am glad she actually ends up with several guys liking her. Her personality was funny and I had to laugh over the thoughts she says out loud by mistake. What can I say about Kristoff except I love the dark and kind of surly guys. Talk about sexy. If you are looking for some sexy and funny vampire romance this is a book for you.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

No deep soul-searching here, just good ol' fashioned fun :) Well, with vampires... and ghosts... and crazy religious cults. Don't forget the super hot vampire sex! Read this on a plane trip and it was perfect. Being an fan of steamy bodice rippers in my youth, I recognized the formula for a good girl meets bad boy romance but hey, I don't want rocket science here, I want something to keep me occupied while I'm hurling through the sky in a tin can. I was not disappointed :) You won't be either if you put aside lofty expectations and get ready to be seduced by the Dark Ones!

[Julia · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's sad that the protagonist at the age of 40 had the maturity of a 15 year old. Her character was completely unbelievable as an adult - she was slow to pick up on anything and she spent more time talking ALOUD to herself and referencing BTVS than any grown woman should.

The characters didn't ring true and honestly, at 40 if you are that self-conscious and unable to communicate it doesn't surprise me that she is single. I can't imagine any guy wanting anything to do with someone so shallow and silly.

[Kimchi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didnt like that the book didnt finish. It sucks when you have to wait for the conclusion of the first book. I also wasn't a fan of her having to decide between two men instead of having a like for the man she was suppose to love.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. I am glad I took my friends advice and read it.

[Mabji · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eine sehr spannende Geschichte rund um Pia Thomason, die sich auf ihrer 'romantischen' Singel-Europa-Rundreise eigentlich nur ein paar Bücher ansehen will, um sich dabei vor ihrer zickigen Mitreisenden zu verstecken. Doch plötzlich liegt eine sterbende Frau in ihrem Hotelbad, sie hat zwei ungewollte Ehemänner am Hals und ist angeblich die Auserwählte von noch einem dritten Mann bzw. Vampir. Dazu noch die verrückte Sekte, welche sie als Mordinstrument an möglichst gleich allen Vampiren nutzen möchte, und die Horde von Geistern, welche nur sie selbst sehen kann.

Pia ist eine sehr sympatische Frau, in die ich mich sofort hineinversetzen konnte, auch wenn ich sie manchmal in ihren Entscheidungen leicht flatterhaft finde.
Ich mochte die Dynamik zwischen ihr und dem männlichen Hauptcharakter, dessen Namen ich jetzt mit Absicht nicht nenne!
Außerdem finde ich es durchaus gut, dass die Geschichte Mal nicht damit endet, dass das Pärchen kuschelnd im Bett liegt und alles in bester Ordnung ist.
So kann ich mich jetzt auf den zweiten Teil dieses Abendteuers freuen, womit ich sofort anfangen werde!