Love and Awakening: Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship – The Groundbreaking Guide to Inner Marriage and Soulwork for Couples

by John Welwood

"Welwood has combined Eastern philosophy with Western teachings in previous bestsellers and here turns to long-term intimacy as the most spiritual teacher in life.... Welwood welcomes us to the magic of our innermost nature as reflected in the gaze and soul of the beloved." —  San Francisco Chronicle Unlike other guides that focus on how to make relationships work, this groundbreaking book teaches couples how their relationships can make their lives work. Combining the practical advice of Harville Hendrix with the spiritual guidance of Thomas Moore, it shows couples how their relationships can help them discover their sacred selves in such chapters as "The Power of Truth-Telling", "The Inner Marriage", "Men In Relationship" and "Soulwork and Sacred Combat". Along the way, it provides a wealth of practical guidance on how to deal with difficult problems and includes lively dialogues from Welwood's workshops that dynamically illustrate his core ideas. Men and women are searching for deeper meaning and purpose in their everyday lives and relationships.  Love and Awakening  fills this need. It is a book couples will want to read together.

Genres: Spirituality, Love, Relationships, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Marriage

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

John Welwood (1943-2019) was an American clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, teacher, and author, known for integrating psychological and spiritual concepts. Trained in existential psychology, Welwood earned his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Chicago in 1974. He was the Director of the East/West Psychology Program at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco and associate editor of Journal of Transpersonal Psychology.

Reviews

[Josie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this 3.5

This book helped me to some great "a-ha" moments in terms of looking at myself in my relationship and recognizing patterns in my own behavior.

I would really only recommend this book for people who know they are in healthy relationships, because I feel some of this advice of looking at oneself could be taken incorrectly if someone was in an abusive or non egalitarian relationship.

I found some of the generalizations about men and women, masculine and feminine, a bit dated and on the hetero sexist side.

That being said, the book really did make me reconsider my habits and the roles in my relationship.

[Henrique Santsper · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly don't give it 5 stars just because I'm a gay man who couldn't relate to the main focus of the book - despite what he describes at the beginning that it can be useful for everyone regardless of gender and sexuality.

There were ideas that really resonated within me, though.

[Delacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible, practical book on approaching romantic relationships and the challenges they present in a way that leads to growth and deeper intimacy, first with yourself and then with your partner. It’s a fantastic companion to All About Love, as it puts many of the ideas that bell hooks explores into a practice you can bring into your day-to-day life. Welwood draws on psychological and spiritual sources (including a deep influence from Buddhist study and practice) in a way that feels holistic. The major flaw in the book is that it is quite dated when it comes to gender and sexual orientation. It is not just hetero-centric, but fails to even acknowledge other forms of romantic relationship. The approach to skillfully navigating relationship challenges is the same, but the gendered language and failure to acknowledge non-hetero relationships is grating and distracting. Worse, there are two chapters that dive into gender dynamics that I recommend skipping altogether. Perhaps they would be useful to some readers (which is great - no judgment!), but I found myself wrestling with the gender assumptions and stereotypes to the point of distraction that threatened to undermine the very valuable and powerful work the rest of the book has to offer.

[Matthew WK · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, worth the read if you're interested in the topics of the dynamics of intimate relationships, how to strengthen them, and how to work with them as a vehicle for personal insight and transformation. The first half to one-third was excellent, the second third was just "ok," and the final third was again, excellent. There is a lot - I mean, a LOT, of information here! To get the most out of this book would require a second reading. It's a definite must read if you're interested in the topics I've listed above. Enjoy.

[Barbara Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

I borrowed this book in the late 90s, and took copious notes in my "Journal of Favourite Quotes", with a final note to self: "MUST BUY THIS BOOK !!" I've recently bought it and am blown away by the even deeper resonance that I feel now. Every single line has me saying, "Yes, yes, YES !" Relationship with both myself and my partner will be enhanced by John's wisdom and clarity. Thank you.

[Deborah Farrugia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A spiritual approach to intimate relationships - my take away from this book is that intimate relationship can be the gateway towards intimacy with ourselves and the true nature of our being.
Navigating intimate relationships with awareness and presence is not for the faint hearted, takes work, commitment and a willingness to meet the dark depths of our humanity in order to gain access to our kore resourceful, authentic selves

I found myself resonating with most parts of this book, John Welwood spoke to a deeper knowing within -with a writing style that is a combination of pragmatic wisdom and poetry for the soul

[Martha Ruiz-Cornejo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd give this book 3.5 stars. It's a good book but sometimes the back and forth with couples' dialogue in the book takes something wonderful to the mundane of a given relationship. They author uses these dialogues as examples of how long-term couples work through their shadows and stories to develop conscious relationships. But sometimes they take too many pages in an otherwise wonderful book about how we show up in relationships, particularly in romantic relationships.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful book cracked me open to all relationships that did not sit right with me. My self, my past, my current relationships. So many things clicked especially after some time to process. Dialogue portions helped model and break up the information flow. Must read for deeper consciousness with all of your relationships.

[Kiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful book. It is well laid out and thought provoking. It has opened my awareness to how I love and how I want to love and be loved.

I just didn’t like the testimonials but I can see that they were essential to gaining a thorough understanding by providing solid examples.

[Shane Skelcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. This one really sent me through a loop. I’ve been on this path of educating myself in the ways of self fulfillment and this was one of those books I underlined and took notes on the entire time. Really good read. Loved the mysticism in it.

[Tanya Winter · Rating 4 out of 5]

just, exactly what i needed to read rite now!!
couldn't of chosen a better book!

[Charlie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting book, a lot in it about the self and ego!

[William Sommer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal! This book had many useful insights into intimate relationships.

[Salahuddin Hourani]

ملاحظة لي - لم اقرا الكتاب بعد

distinguishing between being attracted to someone and real love

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book actually contributed to my husband and I deciding to marry after 8 years of off and on dating! I think it might be time to read it again.

I would recommend this book to anyone that is interested in how relationships affect your spiritual growth and vice verse, and especially those who are not "just starting out" and wanting to start a family together

[Maryanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a few years of practice with 'Love is Letting go of Fear', God put this one in my hands. Welwood expands with information that bridges the gap, 'love is making friends with fear'. Psycho-babble?...all books of its kind have at least some, just skip over it. There are treasures to be found. A nerd?...yes I am.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

See other reviews....Welwood's entire body of work is a must-read for understanding that relationships are not meant to be all sunshine, unicorns and rainbows. His books articulate how to deal with the seemingly-unbearable-at-times ups and downs that follow from our most direct path to spiritual growth -- intimate relationships.

[Annette Vaillancourt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read anything and everything this man writes!

[Natacha · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best book ever!

[Layne Tisdel Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Just wow. Whoever you are, read this book.