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When I'm Dead

4.85  ·  Rating details ·  40 ratings  ·  25 reviews
Violet Hoffman is a planner. Shes had more than enough timeespecially on holidaysto think this through. Theres really no point in turning back. Now, armed with a plan, Violet only needs to pull the trigger. She runs through her list of essentials: Motel room, check. Bottle of pills, check. Razor blades, check. Knife, yup. Purpose, check. Voice ready to be heard. Got it. ...more
Special edition aimed at reducing stigma on sexual abuse, 224 pages
Published August 8th 2016
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Average rating 4.85  · 
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 ·  40 ratings  ·  25 reviews

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Taylor Henderson
Aug 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing
After reading this novel, I was left speechless. Erin Lee weaves a story that is so beautifully haunting and powerful that I was left thinking about the novel for days after reading it. It took me a while to know exactly what I wanted to put into my review. I knew that I wanted to touch on just how important this novel is, but I didn't know how to. The main character, Violet, is a victim of child abuse starting at a very young age. The subject matter is extremely sensitive, yet Lee writes with ...more
Jun 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Erin Lee has become the voice for victims...and survivors EVERYWHERE!!!!

This book is worthy of so much more then 5 stars!!! I have never read a book that has touched me and made me feel things that I had a hard time believing were out there....hope, faith, redemption.

Mrs. Lee has taken a HORRIFIC situation and shined a light on it with grace and empathy for every "Violet" out there. She has made a statement with this book. She has let survivors know that it will be ok and better things are
April Wood
Aug 06, 2016 rated it it was amazing
"Beware of picket fences."

Whoa. Hold up a minute while I catch my breath...

When I'm Dead, by Author Erin Lee reads like a memoir. It spans from when Violet Hoffman - a victim of childhood sexual abuse - is nine years old, until adulthood. While she feels very alone, her voice speaks for many victims.

She's torn between living and suicide and wonders if anyone would care if she died - certainly not her mother, who never believed her. Maybe one of her foster mothers would care... but it would be
Philomena Callan Cheekypee
Jul 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This is one of them storylines that I normally avoid. Child abuse. I know that it happens in real life all the time so I read fiction as a form of escapism. Having said that I'm glad I read this story. I do believe we all need to face reality now and again.

This is Violet Hoffmans story. She tells us of the raw pain and turmoil she goes through while being abused. She also lets us into her thoughts the years after being abused.

I can't say this is an enjoyable read due to the content. However it
Gwen Sargeant
Jul 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I must say I have a new respect for the children, families and therapists of abused innocent children. I was overwhelmed with emotion and left speechless. I am very much impressed with the book and hope it is successful in selling. I really loved the style in which it was written and how it was told. I also loved the little stories at end from various children telling their side of their situation. It takes someone extremely special to handle such delicate situations that leaves the children ...more
Melissa Burcham
Jul 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2016
This was a very good book. It is very insightful. It follows the life of a young girl that has experienced child abuse. The emotions and feelings in this book will tug your heart. I feel so bad for any child that has ever experienced child abuse. I am very thankful for Erin Lee writing this book and bringing light to a very sad subject. I hope that every child gets the help and support they need. I urge you to pick up this book. This is the first book I have read by Erin Lee. I look forward to ...more
Sharon Mason
I was lucky enough for the author to send me a preview copy of this book. As she is one of my latest favorite authors I did know before I started that I was going to enjoy it.

I was not let down. Erin has a complete talent for writing stories that hold your imagination and keep you reading all night so that you can find out what happens.

This book takes you through a range of emotions from anger and despair, to pity, and sadness. But leaves you feeling happy and proud of the main character Violet.
Gemma Price
Jul 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book broke me. The story of violet resonated so deeply with me I cried through most of it. The book is written from the victims point of view and It is in my opinion, a stark and honest account. It still amazes me with every book I read byMs Lee, how well she captures the subject matter. Although this title confronts a painful and not often talked about subject the author manages to gently take you down this path. Is it a happy book? No. Is it an important one?YES.
It is a very well thought
Sara Schoen
Aug 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Let me say that Erin Lee is the voice for children, teens, and adults who have lived, been through, and are still going through situations like this. She is the VOICE for SURVIVORS. These situations aren't easy to discuss, hard to hear, and even more aggravating when the children are ignored, left alone to deal with it, and not believed. This book follows Violet through her life as she struggles to come to terms with her final plan to force people to listen to her story, to understand that ...more
Crystal Solis
Aug 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing
When I'm Dead was a well written story about a victim of sexual child abuse and how her story came to be. Violet started being abused when she was nine years old and dos not know how to tell anyone. Her father threatened to kill her as do many child molestors. Violet was outted by her English teacher when Violet told her secret in a journal that was supposed to be private. Violet was so brave. She gave me goose bumps because she was so strong...even in her weakest moments.
This story really
Jul 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Fantastic in site to the feeling of children of abuse.

Author Erin Lee wrote 'When I'm Dead' from the child's point of view. Violet is a child with a big secret that could tear her family apart. Violet made up a friend in her head named Charlotte to save her when things got bad. When the secret was out Violet was the one that suffered. The system let her down. The staff that was over worked did their best to help but it wasn't enough. Not until Violet went to a group home did she let her hard
Jul 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
When I'm Dead was a startling look at the world through the eyes of an abuse victim. My heart absolutely ached for everything that Violet endured both physically and mentally. It was very hard to read and watch her suffer for so long, and my emotions took an even darker turn after her secret was exposed and her mother wouldn't believe it.
Violet was such a incredibly strong young woman. The ending of this book was very powerful and eye-opening. I am glad that Violet chose to keep fighting for
Chelsi Tauscher
Jul 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book gutted me to the core. Made me rethink choices I have made, and brought a lot of things to light. Erin is extremely talented and knows what she is doing...
Violet is a victim of abuse, from her own parents. The ones that are supposed to protect her, and love her.
Violet like so many other, are threatened to stay quiet.
This story is about how such events can cause an effect to make people think their lives aren't worth it. They can either get passed it, and hope for a better time in
Sharon Obelenus Holland
Listen to the Phoenixes of the world

Yes, I used the term Phoenix. It's the best way to describe the main character in this story. Abuse comes in many forms. I for one have endured physical and mental abuse, so I can somewhat relate to Violet. The hiding what is happening and then the people who should believe, turning away from you, when needed the most. There are many types of evil in the world!! Ignoring them DOES NOT make them to away! Some are VERY good at hiding that evil. Be the person
Alma Conchas
Jul 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Loved this book!

I loved this book so much, although some parts of it were hard to read thru and try to rationalize because of the story and what was happening. I truly think this book is a must read for everyone because it is a topic that is not talked about but should because this happens a lot of kids without anyone finding out and it shouldn't be happening at all. And I can't wait to read more of this author's books!
Meleaha Howard
May 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
If I could give this book more than 5 stars, I would! Erin Lee takes a subject that is still taboo in our society and sheds a bright light on ot! This story follows Violet through it all. She touches on Violet's desperate urge to protect her friend, to dealing with CPS and the judicial system. It also goes into her adult life and how it is affected.
Donna Owens
Sep 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Amazingly emotional

This was an emotional and heart breaking at times book
To see through the eye's of a young girl and watch how her life play's out is simply WOW
Erin Lee is a truly amazing and talented author
She just keeps getting better and better
Apr 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Dang it, Erin! Dang it!

Kleenex cannot produce enough boxes to keep up with your written stories. It is going to take a lifetime to piece my heart back together.

Another book with such a deep message that can help so many.

Keep writing, Author Lee. Be the voice and the echo!
Mona williams
Jul 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
omg another awesome book you wrote! this was about a young girl who kept a secret for years of abuse. i dont know how she dealt with this for so long to want to take her life! this a must read for sure! thanks for giving me a chance to read this book!
Kayla Hemmerle
Aug 09, 2016 rated it it was amazing
When I first heard about this book, I had to spend some time thinking about whether or not I wanted to read it. The synopsis lets you know this isn't going to be winning any awards for cheerfulness and there is no love story here. Only heartbreak. That said, I recently turned 32 and I had decided to make 32 the year of branching out. Nothing insane, but just saying yes where maybe my instinct would be to say no.

I feel like this book eviscerated me. I honestly felt like my insides turned raw
Rita Delude
Aug 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Want to know what's going on behind your neighbors' white, pretty picket fences? Read this novel, and you may find out. Follow the life of Violet from age nine on and learn of her struggle with sexual abuse by her father and the consequences of his and her actions.
If you are a parent, teacher, lawyer, social worker, or just someone who cares about kids, this is a must read. The book smacks you in the face with the ineptness of the juvenile court system, the helplessness of children, and the fact
Bradon Nave
Oct 09, 2016 rated it it was amazing
It took me a while to write this review. I was gifted a signed copy of this book from my friend, Erin. I love her work and knew I'd love this book. Erin consistently remains true to her style and who she is as an author.

This book hit close to home for me. Erin Lee has a way of evoking strong emotion regardless the topic. I had to set it down a few times but I feel authors like Erin and Books like When I'm Dead are important the literary world. They're not only a break from the relentless sea of
Nov 06, 2016 rated it really liked it
Suppose I should say why I am giving 4 stars (other 15 ratings have all been 5).

I didn't really like the ending (she just suddenly jumps into a relationship with Kevin and is suddenly gung ho about having a kid even though she was so against it before? Doesn't quite fit for me. Made it seem like all of a sudden her life was hunky dory and it can't possible be. Also I only give five stars to books that blow me away to the point where I have no desire to pick up a book for a while afterward
Jul 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

I don't even know where to begin with my review. This subject is so heartbreaking. In my field of work, I see so many kids that are left to wander alone and I think, wow, you're blessed with beautiful children and you don't give a crap about if they make it to or from the restroom safely. So many kids are unwanted, just an afterthought, and so many are abused, its so sad. This book is an amazing journey through an abused child's life. This author really opens your mind to what kids go through
Alexandria  Lee
I wont lie, I was a bit sceptical about this book. Not entirely sure of what it would contain. But to say I was mildly surprised at the quality would be an understatement. I was in complete awe when I finished. Not only did the author tell Violets story and expose the secrets of her life but she also liberated many other young people as well. Once you read this book and though it may not be an easy read for some there will be no forgetting. And I promise you it is well worth it. ...more
Donna Owens
rated it it was amazing
Aug 29, 2017
Taylor Henderson
rated it it was amazing
Aug 18, 2016
rated it it was amazing
Aug 19, 2018
Melanie Delude
rated it it was amazing
Nov 12, 2016
Erin Lee
May 18, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: by-me
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Erin Lee is a USA TODAY bestselling multi genre author and therapist chasing a crazy dream one crazy story at a time. She also writes under the name EL George.

She is the author of Crazy Like Me, a novel published in 2015 by Savant Books and Publications, LLC,, Wave to Papa, 2015, by Limitless Publishing, LLC and Nine Lives (2016). Shes also author of Alters, Host, and Merge of the Lola, Party of

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