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Fish Wielder

4.12  ·  Rating details ·  77 ratings  ·  24 reviews
Fish Wielder is kind of like Lord of the Rings, set in Narnia, if it was written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants.

In ancient times, the Dark Lord Mauron cooked the most powerful magic chocolate dessert ever made, the Pudding of Power. One thousand and two years later, the evil leader of the
Kindle Edition
Published August 23rd 2016 by Fiery Seas Publishing
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Average rating 4.12  · 
Rating details
 ·  77 ratings  ·  24 reviews

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***Disclaimer: I received a free copy in exchange for a review.***

I almost don’t even know where to start.

This is simply one of the best satirical novels you’ll ever read. It’s Python-esquely witty, meticulously referenced, surprisingly poignant, tightly plotted, sublimely ridiculous, damned stupid and you’ll enjoy every page of it. Especially if you like pudding. You’d better like pudding, because it’s everywhere in this thing.

“We are enemies of old, and I am sworn to an older swear than the s
Jul 21, 2016 rated it really liked it
Thoral Mighty Fist is tired of his meager existence. Though he's done everything to pull himself from the depressive state that plagues him at every turn, nothing seems to brighten up his days. Until the moment he and his trusty sidekick, Brad, a talking Koi fish, are given the chance to save the world around them. Their goal—to find the Pudding of Power, Dark Lord Mauron's most prized dessert. Finding it will prove to be trying, but it's a goal Thoral has set himself upon. Nothing and no one wi ...more
Mailis Viiand
This was a surprise find. Parody full of absurd humour that was actually also pretty good fantasy. Give your brain a break and read something fun.
Jun 23, 2018 rated it liked it
I didn't like it like it, but I did like the concept

It was really boring in the first half and it just got interesting when we found the true identity of the Heartless One and the backstory of course. After the intense battle scene climax, there was yet more boring travelling out and about. I just didn't feel this book.

I admit, it had some funny parts, especially Brad's lines but the whole thing? It just didn't have that spark in it for me. Though, I do like the concept. I've read in the
books are love
Sep 20, 2016 rated it it was amazing
JRRR Hardison is YA’s version of Mel Brooks. The spoof on Fellowship of the ring was great. OMG it helps to lure adults into this fun loving, fast paced, entertaining and wildly funny book.

We have a talking fish who can’t swim, the ring that helps you change, Nalweegie the elf princess in love with the warrior who is sad and lost after losing his wife but fighting to keep the bad religion and their leader the heartless one from taking over. How can evil rule? If they have the gloomy stone, the
Ian Strang
Mar 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Folks, listen to me and listen good, this is the book that you need to read, unless, of course, you hate to laugh. And you will laugh, this I can guarantee, whether it's that laugh that comes from deep in your gut where only acid that dissolves all your food lives or the chortle that comes from the part of your soul that finds life completely absurd and you have now finally discovered the one who will translate it for you, Jim Hardison.

Here you have Thoral Mighty Fist, sword wielding barbarian w
Matt Hiebert
Jul 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If Robert E. Howard wrote for Monty Python, he would not have been as funny (nor as imaginative) as J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison.

If you think you know what you're getting into with Fish Wielder, let me stop you right there. You don't. I've turned many a page with Robert Asprin and Piers Anthony, so when I picked up Hardison's book, I thought “this will be a nice tongue-in-cheek, pun-filled foray into a familiar fantasy scape.” Not so. Fish Wielder tap dances through the tropes and clichés of the fant
Feb 09, 2018 rated it liked it
I nearly gave up on this book a quarter way through. I just wasn't invested enough in the characters, and the silliness and gore of Thoral beating up on monsters and rescuing maidens I don't really think is enough to sustain the story. Then I got to the second half of the book and things really started to pick up. All of that stuff I thought was just the author throwing out fantasy trope and after trope because that's what happens in fantasy books were actually vital to the plot, and there were ...more
Aug 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I see the author describes the book as "silly" and I'm not sure I agree with that. Yes, the book was epically funny, but silly implies it's a toss away book. What I found was a solid story with well developed characters and I am excited that this is a trilogy so I can read more from this author. My daughter kept herself up way too late last night reading because she couldn't put the book down. She's almost ten and staying up to read has never happened before. I kept hearing her laughing. So the ...more
Feb 23, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: science-fiction
This is a fun book. Witty, clever, and merciless in its skewering of high fantasy and its tropes. This is the book Bored of the Rings should have been, with an occasional flash of Lemony Snicket. The parody is in full force from page 1. The plot takes a bit long her to develop but when it does the twists and turns are delightful and culminate in a thoroughly unexpected and satisfying ending. However, I am left with one question: Is the author's name Jim R. Railroad Hardison or is it Jim Railroad ...more
James Thomas
Aug 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing

I do not write many reviews so I'll keep this one short. I loved this book. I met the author at a ComiCon and found him to be personable and funny. This book is that as well. Can't wait for the next one.
Jun 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the funniest novel I've ever read. If you enjoy fantasy and/or humor, check it out. Great for writers, too: analyze this to see masterfully intentionally bad yet somehow also gloriously good writing. No trope will be left standing. Enjoy! ...more
Feb 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fantasy, parody
Fish Wielder follows the exploits of a hygiene-obsessed barbarian, Thoral Mighty Fist; his sidekick, Brad, a koi fish; and Warlordhorse, a tiger-striped steed who could certainly rival Gandalf’s Shadowfax in speed and intelligence (He knows a few words, like, “Nay”). While searching for “adventure, treasure, and beasts to fight,” Thoral and company instead get more than they bargained for. Embroiled in the convoluted plans of a monologuing necromancer, the hilarious incompetence of the order of ...more
Nathan Miller
Oct 14, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
That infamous Blurb on the Back posits that this book is what you might expect if you were to mash Lord of the Rings with the Chronicles of Narnia and then give the Monty Pythons several editing passes. To that I would add, "...with Conan the Cimmerian as the main character." As you might expect, this is hilarious!

You know you're in for some serious tongue-in-cheek when the map of the mythical land of Grome is suspiciously similar to the geopolitical outline of the state of Oregon. And the satir
Nunya Business
Oct 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I certainly wasn't given this book by someone to promote his uncle's books. *cough cough* You know who you are. I really enjoyed this book. There wasn't a single moment that I wasn't entertained. I understood a lot of the references even without reading the books they came from. My sincerest apologies, I have not read The Lord of the Rings. This book was very ironic and I laughed at every page. My sister is probably annoyed with me by now because I would talk about how ridiculous this book is wi ...more
Nov 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is a silly book – but that's the whole point. The back cover starts with this:

"Fish Wielder is kind of like Lord of the Rings, set in Narnia, if it was written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants."

Those references are four of my Favorite Things, which presumably explains why I enjoyed the book as much as I did. What surprised me the most was the author's idiosyncratic sense of humor, which really grew on me. To
Collin Pointon
Oct 21, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Wow. A witty ride fit to excite your inner Tolkien, while poking it with a self-deprecating stick. I enjoyed the ride, especially towards the end with some serious plot twists I wasn't expecting. Hopefully, the next book, which I would love to read, will give a bit more about Grome, the fantasy world because I do want to know more about it!
+Wit, fantasy genre jokes, puns galore, plot twists, self-referential
-Could use a bit more characterization for the secondaries (But then again when their na
Ed Tuo
Nov 19, 2018 rated it it was ok
it was supposed to be funny so i kept trying to read it and didn't care for it.
after about 6 tries i started again and finally got into it.
it's a parody and sometimes they just fall flat. maybe this would be better for a young guy who likes epic stories from the middle ages in europe. it's a cross between a graphic novel, superhero story, with a bit of magic thrown in.
Oct 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Spoofing at its best! That is what this witty novel does for fans of classic fantasy adventures. The tongue in cheek exploits are written to perfection. All the while creating a world full of eccentric characters, supernatural exploits and experiencing some grotesque ventures. Impishly humorous jaunt for all ages.
Definitely a book meant to be taken in jest. At first I was a bit put off with the writing style and the characterization of the characters in the beginning because I just wasn’t used to writing like Hardison’s but as I got deeper into the book it started to grow on me and it was pretty funny throughout the whole thing.
Sean Ikon
Aug 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
The fantasy genre often takes itself way too seriously, but not J.R.R.R. Hardison...who out "R"s George R.R. Martin. This debut novel finds a swordsman and his talking fish battling a heartless mage, minions, and a doomsday dessert (The Pudding of Power).
Thoral Mighty Fist with his enchanted broadsword Blurmflard, and his steed Warlordhorse, face off against Necrogrond the sorcerer. Thoral gets help from King Elfrod and the elf princess named Nalweegie...“She is called Nalweegie, the Evening Sna
Eugene P
Oct 04, 2020 rated it did not like it
This one could have really used a bit of editing. I like the cover.
Rory Flynn
Feb 04, 2018 rated it liked it
Since I'm not a regular reader of fantasy I most likely missed a lot of the references and in jokes peppered throughout. Despite that I had a wonderful time reading this seriously silly but very funny fantasy tale. ...more
Andrew Kafoury
rated it it was amazing
Mar 10, 2018
rated it it was ok
Jan 01, 2018
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Apr 16, 2020
Ross Dittman
rated it it was amazing
Sep 01, 2019
rated it it was ok
Jun 12, 2018
Catherine Lenderi
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Mar 08, 2018
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I'm proud to announce that my epically silly epic fantasy novel, Fish Wielder, was just named one of the Best 5 Indie Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels of 2017 by Kirkus Reviews! And it won the TCK Readers' Choice Award for Best Fantasy Novel of 2017!

In addition, my new ridiculously horrific ridiculous horror novel, Demon Freaks, is in bookstores now!

I'm a writer and the creative director for C

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