How to Keep the Pastor You Love

by Jane Rubietta

While Paul urges the church to "overwhelm them with appreciation and love" (1 Thessalonians 5:13), research and anecdotal evidence shows that most pastors experience little support when they need it the most. The result? One long-time pastor reports that he thinks about quitting the ministry as often as twice a week, and an estimated twenty-five percent of all ministers relocate every year. In How to Keep the Pastor You Love Jane Rubietta explores the "flip side" of pastoral care--caring for your pastor. She breaks down the largely unexamined myth of the superhuman pastor. And she provides everything you need to know to build healthy, caring, mutually sustaining relationships among your church and its leaders. Ministers and their families can profitably read the book along with lay leaders to become more aware of where they need the help and encouragement of their congregations. Questions at the end of each chapter guide pastoral families in reflecting on their own experiences--both positive and negative--of life in the church.

191 pages, Paperback

Published June 11, 2002

Reviews

[Ann]

Members of the clergy suffer in ways few of us can know. This book is a practical guide for a pastor-parish relations committee or any group of parishioners desiring to ease their pastor's burden. Grounded in scripture, author Jane Rubietta writes from her own experience as a clergy spouse, supplemented by extensive research and interviews with other clergy families. She addresses virtually every aspect of a pastor's life, including spiritual, mental, financial and physical health; crisis management; moral accountability; and dealing with high expectations and criticism. Pastors' spouses and children each get a chapter, as do single pastors. Probing questions for pastors to reflect on appear in sidebars throughout, and for parishioners (the target readership) at the end of each chapter. This book challenges members of the flock to reenvision "pastoral care" in reverse.

Appendices: How to Pray for Your Pastor; Bible Study on Loving Your Pastor; Sabbaticals & Renewal Leaves; The Pastor's Bottom Line; Evaluating Burnout; Housing Help; So Long, Farewell...; Pastoral Care Resources.

Published in 2002, some of the material may be out of date but most of it is timeless.